The OAO advice thread.

[The One and Only...]

Give me advice.

This does not apply to any one specific person, but is rather a general thing.

The best thing I've been able to come up with is to try my luck with a completely different crowd and get stoned. That's it. So help me out.

[MetalMilitia]

damn i was hopeing this was an 'OAO gives advice thread' that would have been brilliant.

Anway, getting stoned isn't cool. neither is smoking or wearign a hat in the backwards fasion.

My advice is wear a fake mustache, it would make you look like a german porn star.

[Big McLargehuge]

DONT LISTEN TO HIM, GETTING STONED IS WAY COOL.

AND SO IS SMOKING CIGARETTES.

but not backwards hats.

[maggiekarp]

Don't take yourself so seriously and don't get caught sniffing girls' panties. Pot is okay every now and again, but don't think that because people lied and said your lungs will explode as soon as you smoke it, doesn't mean that isn't true with other drugs. THere's no simple answer to how to get chicks, either. It takes time and experience, sometimes.

I also recomend the fake mustache

[Command Prompt]

Go get a job where your in a position to possibly be walked over alot. You'll either develop a sense of humor and learn how to cope with life in no time, or you'll hang yourself. Either way you'll be better off. Here's some suggestions based on jobs I've had, where giving shit back to customers and co-workers is not only required for survival but integral to a productive work environment!

-Bartender
-Beer Vendor
-Airport Security Guard
-Manual Labour (Warehouses, Distribution Centres, Tree Planting)
-Construction/Tradesperson
-Walmart Worker Bee

Try and remember, people treating you like shit is a unavoidable part of life. Theres a variety of reasons for doing it, most of the time its to see how much of a push over you are. No one likes a fucking wussy! Bill Gates is the richest person on the planet, and everyone still makes fun of what a dork he is and wonders just how hot his wife is.

And as for using intelligence to get girls, fucking forget that. Girls will always fall for the wrong guy, no matter what. No matter how smart and how rich and how successful you are they will always fuck the pool boy.

Learn to play an instrument. Not only do rock stars get laid all the time, you'll be more interested in your music, instead of girls, which will make them want you even more.

[The One and Only...]

Why not just grow a real mustache?

[Command Prompt]

Please don't. Even if you could, I wouldn't recommend it.

[maggiekarp]

We don't think you're man enough for a real mustache, yet


Or you could always rip it off and go "HA!" and run off into the night... or something.

[adept_ninja]

try to get some girls as just friends they can hook you up somtimes

[The One and Only...]

I have couple, but so far, no hook-ups.

Although honestly, I think I really need to learn how to drive...

[The One and Only...]

Oh, and I thought about going with a goatee, but that takes too much time and is probably more difficult to work with than is really worth it.

[The Damp Moose]

I suggest suicide!

[Helm]

Are you looking for advice to get girls or for advice to be a better person? If the former, I don't have anything for you. For the latter, try to control your emotions more, try to understand yourself and other human beings more and get a cat.

[CaptainBubba]

Understand the following OAO:

You will always fail to impress people with the way you talk and think alone.

[Zomboid]

CB, that is some sound advice.

[Brandon]

I want you to start talking about laissez-faire capitalism again.

[Helm]

Yes, me too.

[mischief]

command prompt gave the best advice, i think.

maybe you should go on xtreme makeover and they can make you look like an abercrombie model. then you'll have no choice but to be an asshole to everyone else. then girls will love you.

[WhiteRat]

Lower your standards!

I had a friend in high school who had money and was a nice guy, but he looked like he could of been captain of the Goof Troop. He always went after girls that were leagues of above him with no luck.

So my advice is to...wait, my buddy actually did end up nailing a hottie. He lured her to him with his nice cars and cash. So actually my advice is to get loads of cash otherwise you're gonna be beatin' your meat from here till eternity.

[kellychaos]

Mith your fencing skills and a fake mustache, you could be the modern version of Erol Flynn. You have some leotards handy. :swashbuckler

[Command Prompt]

Yeah, fuck my old advice, after that cartoon, I fully recommend you grow a mustache. :lol

[Anonymous]

Preferably one of those lame high school 'hair-lip' mustaches that look disgusting.

[FS]

Ha ha, I had a guy in my class two years ago who had one of those, with the obviously never-shaved silky black hairs.

He also had long frizzy, curly hair yanked into a tight ponytail and was crazy about anime, so I guess his chances at getting laid equal OAO's.

[adept_ninja]

Ha ha, I had a guy in my class two years ago who had one of those, with the obviously never-shaved silky black hairs.

He also had long frizzy, curly hair yanked into a tight ponytail and was crazy about anime, so I guess his chances at getting laid equal OAO's.
I donno man in my school ugly people get hooked up big time. Theyre is this fucker that wears a cape and writes poetry and he has hot chicks all over him. Its ok because I make fun of him all the time we call him "chris lord of darkness"

[GADZOOKS]

Oh adept_ninja, you are PURE EVIL.

[adept_ninja]

sure are. I posted that message to show all of you that I am not a nerd and that I make fun of people not the other way around

[sadie]

it must be opposite day, then.

[Zhukov]

Find someone you would actually enjoy being around, and try hard to not overdo it with lies and showing off.

[Perndog]

I'm feeling remarkably charitable. Be grateful.

Jack, in high school, "I like you" or "I have a crush on you" is something you let a girl know AFTER the first date or two. It works the other way around. A girl has a crush on a guy and maybe she gets him. Guys who have crushes on girls and let it show NEVER get them except out of pity. You just have to figure out how to make the girl you're secretly interested in start liking you before you let on (to ANYONE) that you're secretly interested.

The other good option (better, if you have enough opportunities) is to ask a girl out (will you go out with me sometime?, NOT will you have my children?) as soon as you meet her before there's any bullshit about friendship or who has a crush on whom or whatever. If you don't ever meet new girls, then you've got to do something about that too, but first things first, eh?

No matter how much you analyze a situation, no one else involved is going to care. It doesn't matter if you have "a nice personality" (which is a euphemism for "you're creepy" half the time) or if you demonstrate blazing intellect. It doesn't even really matter what you look like. As long as the girl involved is over 12 years old, all that matters is that the thought of you triggers that part of her brain that makes her panties wet. You will not ever convince someone to start liking you, and unless you have several years to change a situation, you are defined forever in the mind of any given female by the first strong impression you make. In all of the situations you've described, your first strong impression has obviously been "creepy nerd." Figure out how to change that to "sexy nerd" or better yet, drop the nerd part altogether, and they'll just fall into your lap.

[The One and Only...]

Thanks. That advice will come in handy with recent events.

[Lotida]

Thanks. That advice will come in handy with recent events.

Are you going to enlighten us?

[Legion]

Yes we would also like to know about your further misadventures in the relationship department Mr. OAO.

We have been reading through some of the old threads here, and we have to say while we do not understand your need to ask the advice of those who would only taunt your relationship failures, we are intrigued by your refusal to give up trying...

[Sojourn]

Perhaps Mr. OAO has an odd sense of self destructing humor. This behavior can only be counterproductive. Can you up the medication somewhat, Mr Only?

[The One and Only...]

Thanks. That advice will come in handy with recent events.

Are you going to enlighten us?

I did in the Frustrating thread. There are some freshman chicks that kinda like me, now. Of course, I think one of them might be... loose. In any case, I need the experience.

[Anonymous]

as long as you don't camp the girls' bathroom for spawns

[kellychaos]

He IS a persistent lil' cuss.

[Lotida]

I need an update!!!!!!! >:

[ziggytrix]

http://i-mockery.net/templates/smartDark/images/lang_english/icon_pm.gif!!!

i think he quit (or got banned?) tho, so it prolly won't do you much good

[Lotida]

Who would ban OAO? He was the funniest dude on here!! >:

[ziggytrix]

There's a sort of unwritten rule that if you make an "I'm leaving" post that a mod may ban you to help you stick to that resolution... that's the only reason I can think of that he'd have been banned.

[AChimp]

Maybe it was for being an insufferable twit and a loser to boot.

[Lotida]

Look around here.......that can't be the reason! :/

[Anonymous]

I would never ban OAO, for the record

[Rongi]

you would however ban lotida in a heartbeat

[Anonymous]

No, we need a suitable mate for NOT Jixby Phillips or he'll get surly and not play with the others.

[Lotida]

you would however ban lotida in a heartbeat

Rongi, now that you've joined the black gang, and became part of Matt Harty's peeps, you'd think u'd be a little more nicer! >:

[Rongi]

you dont say

[Galvatron]

Do not date a Jehovah's witness unless you happen to be one or believe in something VERY close to it. I learned this one the hard way

[Lotida]

I agree. Going door to door on a first date is not too fun!! >:

[MLE]

i think that OAO needs to come back and update us on what he's been doing recently.

[MetalMilitia]

me too. mabey he was in a fencing accident preventing him from ever using the Internet again :eek

[MLE]

lol

[OAO Returns]

Nah.