The I-Mockery Posting Season Race to 10,000!

[GADZOOKS]

As you all, know, the only way to get through life is being a presentable face, if you don't have that you can make one on the internet by creating a website. If that doesn't work, join a message board and post alot. That's right post counts, the only way to gain respect on the internet, as they say "The higher the postcount, the closer to god"

With Feburary 2005 coming near, it will be the 2nd year anniversary of the opening of the new I-Mockery Boards (pHp edition for nerds). Though it seems that post counts are at a long time low. People are actually thinking before they post, and that's just gosh-darn tomfoolery. The top posters of I-mocker have made a rough average of 2000-3000 post the first year, and as the second year come close the average is 4000-6500. It's about time for the top posters to show there stuff and by Feburary 2006, they should have 10,000. But who will get their first? Let's look at our top players!


http://www.bscrovigo.it/all_stars_images/mc_guire.jpg
#43 Chojin
Total Post: 6518
Joined: Feb 02, 2003
Posting Average: 9.47 posts per day
Posting Total: 2.20%
Hometeam: The Baltimore Veterans (formerly Baltimore Baltimore Revolution)

Personal Bio: The ultimate in the ways of a "seasoned veteran". Chojin has taken postcount to new heights and looks good doing it. Some judge against his argued "flamboyant playing" techniques, he's a proved his force by become a top moderator (behind King of Mockery Bape) While right now on top, one young buck is not too far behind...

http://reds.enquirer.com/2003/04/21/sosa_zoom.jpg

#523 Esuohlim
Total Post: 6518
Joined: Mar 09, 2003
Posting Average: 9.98 posts per day
Posting Total: 2.20%
Hometeam: The Michigan Jennings (enter the field to the Jeopardy! theme)

Personal Bio: The youngest of the top posters at only 11 years old, Esuohlim went through the 2003 season post after post. There was a time where ever thread contained his quick wit. 25% of the 200,000 cash winnings he gets if he win the race (WHOOPS, DID I NEGLECT TO TALK ABOUT THE CAHS PRIZE INVOLVED?) will go to Matthew Perry's School for the Sarcasticly Impared He's neck and neck with Chojin, yet they were once both under the might of this man....

http://www.sptimes.com/2002/10/08/photos/sp-barry.jpg
#16 Rongi
Total Post: 6421
Joined: Feb 02, 2003
Posting Average: 9.33 posts per day
Posting Total: 2.17%
Hometeam: The New York Dagos (Motto: We wop the competition!)

Personal Bio: The once Lord of all Postcounts, Rongi once overtopped everyone by at least 200 post. Yet his rampage came to halt in June of 04' when he was suspended for illegal use of pornography in a post. This set him back and gave Chojin and Esuohlim the lead once again. Yet if he could reclaim his rampant posting once more, he could take back the throne and hit the 10,000 first!


Yet nevertheless, besides these 3 fine posting athletes, there are several contenders who can also prove their worth and get to the 10,000 first. mburbank, who shows no signs of retirement. The clown prince of I-mockery Jixby Phillips, with canadian native AChimp and the running joke known as kellychaos! Although, I would count out Matt Harty for he claims that he has too much of a life to keep up his posting expertise, but he'll try to fit it in his busy schedual.

As you can see, any of these men can reach 10,000 by February of 2006. In fact it can be......YOU!*


*Note: Do not attempt to reach 10,000 if you have less than 3000 post,are mildy retarded, repetively boring, or have recieve cancer from these boards. Side-Effect from participating may be Banning, proceed with caution!

[DamnthatDavid]

People are actually thinking before they post

Yeah! It's great! People now think before they create a crappy thread like this.

[GADZOOKS]

You're quick to judge with only 1200 post, why don't you come back and reply when you have made a difference to the community. :rolleyes

[Brandon]

DAMN THAT DAVID!

(+1 for me)

[GADZOOKS]

That's the fighting spirit Brandon! Why you may not get 10,000 this year, you are proving to become quite the up and coming rookie of the boards.

[AChimp]

I reached 10,000 before anyone on that list on the old boards! >:

[Drev]

What am I? The batboy? >:

[Evil Robot]

Back before it was cool.

[GADZOOKS]

I reached 10,000 before anyone on that list on the old boards! >:

Welcome to the major league, AChimp :)

[Esuohlim]

I'm currently in the lead AS OF THIS POST :eek

Stay tuned 'cause there'll surely be a photo-finish at the end of this test of endurance and motivation. :eek

[Seven Force]

I'm the waterboy.

(+1)

[executioneer]

so wait are you saying if this board was baseball i would be making like millions of dollars

[GADZOOKS]

maybe billions

[Seven Force]

Not only that, but if I was a 16 yr old white girl, i'd ask to go into your hotel room then sue you later on.

That is the price of fame. :(

[Jixby Phillips]

etc etc http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/roll.gif

[Seven Force]

I can't fucking sleep. >:

[DamnthatDavid]

You're quick to judge with only 1200 post, why don't you come back and reply when you have made a difference to the community.

And such great people like sports and ArrowX should be emulated due to the overwhelming posting presence they grace this board with.

[Jixby Phillips]

What about you you dumb jerk

[sports]

You rang?

[McClain]

Is it too late for you to crawl back in the uterus?

[Carnivore]

A high post count only brings you closer to God if the posts are of consistent gigh quality. Otherwise, every additional post merely drags us all down deeper into the pit of suck. :posh

[HickMan]

TAKE THIS MOTHER TO THE POSTCOUNT FIGHT:eek

[mburbank]

Hey, my post count just went up by one!

[Seven Force]

"Yell" - Dead Cell (http://209.245.59.53/Gimme/15251583/2290035/12455984/61A4BE23-F511-4B38-AF6A-7D40CFF02E20/0.195699/1/MGS2B09_Yell_Dead_Cell.mp3) :)

[DamnthatDavid]

What about you you dumb jerk

I have been trying to refrain myself from posting every asine thought that flys through my head Mr. Phillips.
Perhaps you enjoy reading the suck on these boards, which is why you encourage people to continue.

[Helm]

That's right, the most elusive quality in a post, the named 'gigh' quality is sorely lacking in most posts we see around here. Obviously, for anyone confused as to what exactly this 'gigh' quality is, he has only to closely inspect Carnivore's post to understand what he's been doing wrong in posting. After all, he's the one making the complaint that there's not enough of this 'gigh' going on around here.

The 'gigh' quality, then, is all about pretending that your oppinion matters because you've been here a long time, being repeatedly condescending, making veiled insults towards noone and everybody in particular and also alluding to an overal board-quality as related to "closeness to God" versus "the pit of suck" which each and every post contributes towards reaching. That's right, children! Every post counts! If we reach the dreaded "pit of suck" it's all YOUR fault, you dirty damned newbs. Can't be Carnivores, regardless of that he's been around here for 5 years and all he's got to show for it is his stupid seal of malevolence.

So, if you want to be more like Carnivore, and you want to attend that elusive 'gigh' quality consistently, you now know what to do. Get right to it, snappy, or else the vets will look down on you and greviously shake their heads in dissapointment.

[ThisIsWitty]

oppinion

>:

[GADZOOKS]

Tell you what Witty, if you can keep your postcout under 700 by 2006, you are the real winner.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

That's right, the most elusive quality in a post, the named 'gigh' quality is sorely lacking in most posts we see around here. Obviously, for anyone confused as to what exactly this 'gigh' quality is, he has only to closely inspect Carnivore's post to understand what he's been doing wrong in posting. After all, he's the one making the complaint that there's not enough of this 'gigh' going on around here.

The 'gigh' quality, then, is all about pretending that your oppinion matters because you've been here a long time, being repeatedly condescending, making veiled insults towards noone and everybody in particular and also alluding to an overal board-quality as related to "closeness to God" versus "the pit of suck" which each and every post contributes towards reaching. That's right, children! Every post counts! If we reach the dreaded "pit of suck" it's all YOUR fault, you dirty damned newbs. Can't be Carnivores, regardless of that he's been around here for 5 years and all he's got to show for it is his stupid seal of malevolence.

So, if you want to be more like Carnivore, and you want to attend that elusive 'gigh' quality consistently, you now know what to do. Get right to it, snappy, or else the vets will look down on you and greviously shake their heads in dissapointment.


SHIIITT (+1)

[Guitar Woman]

HEY GADZOOKS, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU SUCK! :eek

[GADZOOKS]

That's bad news for you!

[Guitar Woman]

...............................................Wha t? :/

[BlueOatmeal]

Tell you what Witty, if you can keep your postcout under 700 by 2006, you are the real winner.

:)

[Guitar Woman]

WAIT A SEC- OMFG CAPTAIN GOODTIMES=GADZOOKS?????? :eek

[Jixby Phillips]

OMFG FATHER SPAZ=A JERK FROM HELL????????? :eek

[GADZOOKS]

Stating the obvious is only funny when you are playing pictionary, fag.

[Carnivore]

I don't care, Helm. Seriously. It would cut into my World of WarCraft time. Maybe I'll revisit this later, but probably not. Not worth my time :posh

[Seven Force]

Bring back Captain Goodtimes. :(

[Helm]

More gigh quality right there.

[Big McLargehuge]

It would cut into my World of WarCraft time.

am i the only person on these boards who isn't a giant fucking geek?

[executioneer]

yes

[DeadKennedys]

I mean no

[DamnthatDavid]

Only Geeks use the internet. >:

[BlueOatmeal]

Ima try to make it to 200!

[BlueOatmeal]

Fuck I mean 800

[GADZOOKS]

You got the guts but do you have the gigh :eek

[AChimp]

am i the only person on these boards who isn't a giant fucking geek?

LOL you're just a giant haha right guys? :lol

I think a mock war between Helm and Carnivore is just what this board needs. It could be a battle between hairy and formerly hairy.

[Helm]

mock war is that where a guy calls somebody something and then the other guy comes back with something else and this goes on for a while when suddenly one guy goes I WIN and the other goes no you dont

[Esuohlim]

Sounds good let's set a date

[Helm]

Hey who are you you don't even have a whiteninja sig you're obviously a newbie I won't talk to you

[Seven Force]

White Ninja sucks big floppy donkey dick.

You know this. :o

[Helm]

whoa if you say so

[Anonymous]

Looks like I'll need to ban Milhouse to pick up the gold

[Esuohlim]

WHY ME?.... WHY NOW?... :tear :kerrigan

[GADZOOKS]

This thread is brimming with christmas spirit!

[FS]

it's always good to know that you don't have to share the beautiful things in life with douches like Sevensomethingelse.

[Matt Harty]

im getting back in the game

[ScruU2wice]

I'm gonna work on my quality :(

[Anonymous]

I'm still winning, guys

[Anonymous]

by a lot

[executioneer]

we're gonna have to start taking performance-enhancing drugs you guys

[Rongi]

i shall reclaim my throne, damnit

[Esuohlim]

I think I'm in third place again like I was when I won that bike prize :eek

[HickMan]

I hope to make 10,000 by tonight :eek.

(+1)

[HickMan]

only 6557 more to go!

[HickMan]

Well now only 6556.

But NOW after I posted this it is now 6555 :eek. I could of just done that until 10000 but I'm not gay like that >:

[Anonymous]

I like this thread because it was gutsy enough to go straight down the toilet the moment it was created.

[Spooky]

post counts are for chumps


lol im just saying that because mines pretty low

[Helm]

BAM RIGHT IN THE BELLY

[Supafly345]

This is exactly like watching the demolition derby.

[Shyandquietguy]

Want to know a secret about having a low post count?

You can call everyone a giant nerd without being caught at the low end of the intelligent stick!

PS: I go to college!

[Jixby Phillips]

You guys are all a bunch of artists or creeps or feminists or something

[Matt Harty]

keep it up!

[Esuohlim]

You know in the SA forums when you post in FYAD your post count actually goes down after each post. I think it should be like that in Mock Wars 'cause that's like the FYAD of I-Mockery. :(

[Jixby Phillips]

wtf is FYAD

[GADZOOKS]

Sorry Folks, we are tearing down this thread to create a thread "I'm having a bad day." by DamnThatDavid. Haha, when isn't he. Now everyone evacuate before the blast kills you all.

-Mark Riddles (Post Master General)

[Esuohlim]

wtf is FYAD

It stands for Fuck You and Die. It's the only forum on the board that has funny people in it and the rest of the message board hates them because the rest of the message board are just unfunny pricks and they don't get it.

It's also the only forum where you can do anything you want and not get banned.

[executioneer]

but dont get your hopes up the funny/unfunny ratio is still something like 1:100

[Rongi]

FYAD is responsible for a lot of features on somethingawful. like the obnoxiously unfunny weekend web

[EisigerBiskuit]

and david kelly