Nature is Stupid

[The Damp Moose]

Everyone else is getting snow out the booty, yet here in Maryland it was 61 degrees today.

What the phuck is wrong with Earth this year?

[Perndog]

It was over 50 after New Year's in Minneapolis.

[Legion]

Perhaps Mr. Moose you should not be asking what is wrong with the earth but rather what is wrong with you thinking that anything is wrong with the earth in the first place.

Mother Nature does as she will, it is not your place to question it.

Further questions like these will only lead to your further desparate attempt to understand things that are out of your depth and will in turn lead to your isolation and ultimate suicide.

[The Damp Moose]

Day 6: Today I tried out the first three buttons on the top of the screen! All in one post!

[Legion]

Mr. Moose's attempts at sarcasm have be noted.

Rating: -10

[The Damp Moose]

They even work together!

[McClain]

Legion sucks.

[Legion]

Moose's further attempts at sarcasm still result in a rating of -10.

Perhaps you should find another route of humor. You seem to be failing miserably at this brand.

McClain's unfounded hostility towards us, is intriguing. One wonders if he had a troubled childhood that results in him lashing out at people on the internet...

[Esuohlim]

Hahaha colors!!!! Weee!!

[Legion]

Mr. Esuohlim's attempts at sarcasm rating is: -5

The use of colors at least put a whimsical spin on it.

One should always attempt to never take these things too seriously...

[Esuohlim]

Yeah really Legion I mean giving ratings and everything :rolleyes

[Legion]

Ah yes, the use of emoticons. A common way of displaying one's feelings in a way that would otherwise be impossible over the internet.

If our rating system displeases you, Mr. Esu. then you should by all means feel free to either pick one of the following actions...

1. Ignore us and do not converse with us.

2. Become funnier.

3. Continue to participate in your inane actions which will only result in further animosity between us.

The choice is in your hands...

[The Damp Moose]

Legion you're really smart! The way you make use of all of the fun tools on this forum is amazing! You've really showed us a great deal! In fact, I think you're too great for this thread!
You're so great that I hope you die!

[Legion]

We see that Mr. Moose has chosen choice number 3.

Perhaps this is due to his inferiority complex in real life, that he feels the need to prove that he is somehow "tough" on the internet. Or perhaps it is he did not appreciate my previous accurate statements about him.

Probably a combination of both. (sigh)

So be it...

[The Damp Moose]

Do you often find yourself suffering from an overly dry vagina?

[Legion]

Hmm, a crude remark made about a sexual organ attached to a female member of the species.

[center:abd685d7ea]YOU FAIL[/center:abd685d7ea]

Seriously Mr. Moose, such base comments towards us shall have no positive effect on your current lowly standing in real life.

[EisigerBiskuit]

intellectuals are never on the internets, therefor, your existance is TEH FAIL [s]lsah/do.t[/df]'t

[Legion]

Mr. Biskuit, I'm afraid we could not decipher your gibberish. This "Teh" you speak of, is not familar to us. Perhaps you meant "The"?

You seem to be having problems with understanding your keyboard, re-double your efforts and we are sure you will get the hang of it.

We have faith in you...

[EisigerBiskuit]

It seems you have no idea what this place is, do you?

[Legion]

We are well aware of what this place is Mr. Biskuit.

If it is you who is asking the question, then perhaps it is you who does not know the answers...

Please feel free to remember to ask questions in your everyday life Mr. Biskuit, for you may never learn more than your current level of knowledge if you do not.

[The Damp Moose]

OMG LEGION YOUR BIG OL' BRAIN GIVES ME A BIG OL' BONER

[Legion]

[center:cebbd00553]MR. MOOSE WE MUST ASK THAT YOU STOP YOUR AMOROUS ADVANCES RIGHT NOW.[/center:cebbd00553]

Such behavior is unseemly and unwelcome...

[Esuohlim]

GUYS DID THEY DEVELOP THE INTERNET SLEEPING PILL YET I GUESS LEGION WILL HAVE TO DO FOR NOW :rolleyes

[Lotida]

:rolleyes

[The Damp Moose]

Ok, its ok. We can go a little slow if thats how you want it. I mean, I'm into an orgy, and apparently there are enough of you to have one. I'm even willing to wait. And hey, if not I have enough sleepy-juice for all of you. I mean, its cool. We can go as slow as you want. Whats this handerchief for? Nothing, I just like to carry it around. No, its cool. So do you want to meet at my house or at yours? Yours? Its cool. No, I'm not standing any closer to you than I was before. What am I doing with that handerchief? Nothing, no its cool. Just relax. You look a little tense. I hear sex is very relaxing. Do you want to smell my handerchief? No? Its cool, just relax a little.

Alright, I'll see you later. I love you.

[Legion]

Mr. Esu has also chosen choice number 3. I believed he would.

Mr. Esu while your attempts at sarcasm are mildly better than your friend Mr. Moose's attempts, I'm afraid that you still fail. For one thing your use of the rolly eye emoticon after every sentence is over used. You would do better in simply stating what you mean in a normal post without the need for "funny" emoticons. It destroys your credibility.

We have already stated that if you do not like what we say, then cease reading our posts. It should be a simple enough concept even for one such as you to understand.

As for Mr. Moose, well I'm afraid he is beyond help...

[Helm]

That was an excellent post. I mean, not to cling to the trite and obsolete ways of the i-mockery forums, but I guess I hate to say that uh, you win, Damp Moose.

[Legion]

Mr. Helm, I was not aware I was in any type of "match". I was not trying to "win". I was merely trying to educate some of the people here, not to insult them. If they took my posts as such then maybe they are merely afraid of the truths I relay to them...

[Helm]

Hey legion, mind if I ask you a question, since this is a civil discussion and all?

[Legion]

You may...

[The Damp Moose]

I was merely trying to educate some of the people here, not to insult them. If they took my posts as such then maybe they are merely afraid of the truths I relay to them...


I FEEL ENLIGHTENED

[Legion]

Mr. Force never answered my question to as why he is obsessed with Megaman...

Is he usually so avoidant of simple questions?

Avoidance is never a good way to handle life...

[Helm]

Okay sorry I guess I might get carried away a bit and there's gonna be a few nested questions and a few recursive ones but I bet you can handle that, alright? Ok. Oh, that one wasn't a question, here's the question.

Okay so you decided to come over and register on this message board. When you first came here, what did you think it was about? Now that you've posted a bit, did your impression of the place change any? Anyhow, more importantly, what was your original motivation in joining, and if applicable, has it been altered in any significant way after your first few discussions?

Furthermore, would it be safe to assume you're trying to be, what we i-mockery fellows refer to as a character, or are you to say, completely sincere? The reason I am asking this is because there's an i-mockery guideline that specifically declares that all characters are to be banned on sight so you might, uh, wanna watch what you reply on this one.

Assuming that you are then, sincere, are you aware that your personal traits, as they can be said to have been exposed to us in your few posts are those of a very arrogant, pretentious asshole? I am not saying you're any of that (in fact I think you're a great guy in real life and that you bowl excellently ), I am saying that's how you come off. Furthermore, would you say that you find this [said publich perception] distressing, or is it the case as I expect, that you're one of the "me don't care, me very in tune with personal being, other people say me asshole, me disregard." In which case, do you feel things? Often? If so, how would you describe them?

A few more haha sorry to go on and on.

Do you intend to, at some point in the future, make a donation to the i-mockery message boards? I take it upon me to bring it to your attention that any respectable member of the forums has done so, a few more than on one occassion. Whereas it is not mandatory, having made a donation enlists you for the chance of aquiring a series of priviledges. They are as follows:

a) Right to declare a 'best thread ever' once a month. This is a very serious bit and nobody plays around with this. At the end of the year, the declared 'best threads' are gathered and re-evaluated by Rog, and then a few select enter the thread archives. This is both a duty, and a priviledge of the i-mockery donators.

b) Right to "lol" as means of approving a thread, in a pictorial (ie emoticon) fashion. This might seem insignificant, but again, every time you use an emoticon, you waste a little bit of Rog's (I-mockery head administrator) bandwidth which is considered very rude. So if you donate, you'll be free to use the 'lol' emoticon as much as you like, in any occasion that you want. In fact, most i-mockery users find the "lol" emoticon hilarious and desire to see it as much as possible, but alas, most i-mockery donators are serious folks and as such do not post it nearly enough. Are you? I mean, a serious person. Or are you prone to "loling" excessively? If you are, then we're glad to have you and hope you donate as soon as possible.

c) Right to have a thread that doesn't get moved to mock-wars within a week. Well, I'm sure with time you will appreciate this priviledge.

d) Right to STFU another member once per week. We here take calls of STFUing very seriously, as we see it being the most grevious authoritative command that can be uttered in this here forum. Right now, if you attempt to STFU someone, they will laugh (perhaps enforcing their laughter by posting a "lol" emoticon, much to the enjoyment of all) or possibly verbally assault you. Donate, however, and you will see the offending person quickly silence himself, or face temporary banning.

e) Right to have a signature image containing ashwood or white-ninja characters. This is a very special priviledge and only available to people who have donated 25 dollars or more. Very prestigious, if I may say so myself.


Anyway, you're welcome to donate as soon as you see it fit, maybe even tonight. Or in a few minutes.

These are my questions. I'd appreciate you answering them to their entirety if you please.

[Legion]

:)

My answer to all your questions Mr. Helm can be summed up with the following answer...















When you figure out the answer then you will know the question...

[Helm]

I am sorry to say that your fortune-cookie, karate kid wisdom blanket answer has not been satisfactory in any way. I would suggest reconsidering your gracious cop-out swiftly and answering, point-to-point to all my questions, or you might face a severe change in status from an i-mockery.net poster, to an i-mockery.net reader. I represent important people, mister Legion.