Command Prompt
Jan 17th, 2005, 10:36 PM
On this board we often celebrate the past golden years of the Nes Geneneration and embrace the future of video games with the current crop of systems, but we often, and with good reason forget that five year span of time that started with the dawn of CD based gaming and created some of the most useless, overpriced systems the world has ever known, which spawned some of the lamest games ever, all built on the same, lame arse, overused technology of interactive full motion video.
Here's some of my picks. Thank god I was too poor to ever think owning this shit was a good idea.
1. Dennis Miller - Thats News to Me! / 3D0
Finally, Dennis Miller Has his own video game! Now you can justify spending 700 bucks on that new 3D0? Right? Right? Just laugh along with everyone else, you don't want to look stupid by admitting you don't get his jokes. Whats not a joke is it apparantly sold so well, they made a sequel. That or Dennis had rent due.
2. Mad Dog McCree / CD-i
Did this game ever bloody work for anybody? All the two times I was tricked into trying it, all I remember is thinking how much better that money would of been spent on Mortal Kombat 2. Thats okay, who needs a lightgun when I have the powerful accuracy of.. the mighty CD-i controller? chumbawumba!
3. Hoarde / 3D0
Save your midevil kingdom by keeping your cows from being eaten by gremlins or some shit like that. Starring Kirk Cameron. Next. Oh sorry Kirk, didn't see you standing there. Next, please
4. Joe Montana Football / Sega CD
Imagine the cd skipping right at the point where Joe overpronces the word football. FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! Joe Montana is the last person that needed to do voice acting in a game.
5. Night Trap / Sega CD
This is the game responsible for the formation of the ERSP after outraged parents wanted to crusify the makers of this game. I don't really see why considering the games contains barely any violence and absolutely no sex. Maybe everyone was just really pissed off about not getting to see any tits after playing through this idiotic game featuring women in bikinis that need to be saved by setting off traps, or something.
6. Sewer Shark / Sega CD
I can't think of anything funny to say. Its just a really shitty game.
7. Link: The Faces of Evil / CD-i
You've probably never heard of the this game, and you should thank bloody christ you didn't. Somehow, some people got Nintendo all pissed on Sake and convinced them it was a good idea to have someone whos not Nintendo make a Link game. It didn't turn out so well, as you may of imagined.
Here's some of my picks. Thank god I was too poor to ever think owning this shit was a good idea.
1. Dennis Miller - Thats News to Me! / 3D0
Finally, Dennis Miller Has his own video game! Now you can justify spending 700 bucks on that new 3D0? Right? Right? Just laugh along with everyone else, you don't want to look stupid by admitting you don't get his jokes. Whats not a joke is it apparantly sold so well, they made a sequel. That or Dennis had rent due.
2. Mad Dog McCree / CD-i
Did this game ever bloody work for anybody? All the two times I was tricked into trying it, all I remember is thinking how much better that money would of been spent on Mortal Kombat 2. Thats okay, who needs a lightgun when I have the powerful accuracy of.. the mighty CD-i controller? chumbawumba!
3. Hoarde / 3D0
Save your midevil kingdom by keeping your cows from being eaten by gremlins or some shit like that. Starring Kirk Cameron. Next. Oh sorry Kirk, didn't see you standing there. Next, please
4. Joe Montana Football / Sega CD
Imagine the cd skipping right at the point where Joe overpronces the word football. FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! FOOTBALL! Joe Montana is the last person that needed to do voice acting in a game.
5. Night Trap / Sega CD
This is the game responsible for the formation of the ERSP after outraged parents wanted to crusify the makers of this game. I don't really see why considering the games contains barely any violence and absolutely no sex. Maybe everyone was just really pissed off about not getting to see any tits after playing through this idiotic game featuring women in bikinis that need to be saved by setting off traps, or something.
6. Sewer Shark / Sega CD
I can't think of anything funny to say. Its just a really shitty game.
7. Link: The Faces of Evil / CD-i
You've probably never heard of the this game, and you should thank bloody christ you didn't. Somehow, some people got Nintendo all pissed on Sake and convinced them it was a good idea to have someone whos not Nintendo make a Link game. It didn't turn out so well, as you may of imagined.