OAO is my best friend

[CaptainBubba]

OAO3405: Hello?
dscoM0nkie: you im'ed me
OAO3405: ...you looked at my profile.
dscoM0nkie: no i didnt
OAO3405: Sure about that?
dscoM0nkie: dude
dscoM0nkie: wtf
OAO3405: I have a subprofile, which keeps a track on everyone who looks at my profile.
OAO3405: Your name popped up.
dscoM0nkie: :o
dscoM0nkie: caught
OAO3405: So are you Nick Dentamaro?
dscoM0nkie: yes
OAO3405: Figured as much.
dscoM0nkie: yea you got me man
dscoM0nkie: so I heard you farted during a test
OAO3405: Lemme guess... the senior that had a thing with Lauren last year?
OAO3405: Whatever the "thing" was.
dscoM0nkie: I'm gonna nickname you Squirts from now on
OAO3405: Why?
OAO3405: I'm not short.
dscoM0nkie: cuz you farted during a test assface
OAO3405: Have I ever even seen you before?
OAO3405: Alex?
dscoM0nkie: :o
dscoM0nkie: CAUGHT AGAIN
OAO3405: TWO can play this game.
dscoM0nkie: indeed. quite.
OAO3405: So it seems.
dscoM0nkie: shutup fag
OAO3405: Oh HO HO
dscoM0nkie: I said shutup
OAO3405: I am truly insulted.
dscoM0nkie: Or i'll slug you
dscoM0nkie: fuckin ******
OAO3405: Only from the waist down.
dscoM0nkie: Wtf is that supposed to mean? Is the bottom half of you retarded?
OAO3405: I'll let you think about what I mean.
OAO3405: Why would you call blacks retarded when, according to your own myspace profile, you're of black decent?
dscoM0nkie: I'll let you think about my fist punching your ****** face in
dscoM0nkie: I fucking hate ******s dude
dscoM0nkie: im like a half blood vampire
dscoM0nkie: i fucking hate that part of me yo
OAO3405: Why?
dscoM0nkie: dude dont you have cotton to pick you fat ****** fuck?
OAO3405: No, only slaves to whip. But today is their off day.
dscoM0nkie: are you gay?
OAO3405: Hell no.
dscoM0nkie: I heard you suck cock
dscoM0nkie: I heard you farted during Mr.Akers class too
OAO3405: No... and who is Mr. Aker?
dscoM0nkie: Shutup you know he gave you a kidney when you were 6 and got stabbed
dscoM0nkie: Squirts
OAO3405: Oh, right, that guy... no, he died after I jammed a pencil through his ear screaming "FREE THE WORKERS!!!" Stupid Republican...
dscoM0nkie: shutup
OAO3405: I'm just going to call you Dentamaro.
dscoM0nkie: faggot
OAO3405: It sounds like toothpaste... D, for short.
dscoM0nkie: fag
OAO3405: If I were a fag, why would I like girls?
dscoM0nkie: because you like dick
OAO3405: That makes no sense.
dscoM0nkie: how would you know faggot?
OAO3405: Because chicks don't have dicks.
dscoM0nkie: You know you were born a lady
dscoM0nkie: Squirts
OAO3405: I'm all man
OAO3405: D
dscoM0nkie: shutup
OAO3405: Seriously now, have I ever seen you before?
OAO3405: Why do you have problems with me, anyway?
dscoM0nkie: maybe at a gay pride parade where i kicked your ass you fat ****** faggot
OAO3405: I hate parades.
dscoM0nkie: sure you do
OAO3405: It must have been really well done for me to come watch you march.
dscoM0nkie: what?
OAO3405: What? You're so deep in the closet, your finding gifts.
dscoM0nkie: Huh?
OAO3405: This is the joke: -. This is your head: _
dscoM0nkie: Shutup fag
OAO3405: C'mon now, you've never even met me.
dscoM0nkie: cmon now, you're a stupid fat ****** who farted in mr.aker's class
OAO3405: I told you, there is no Mr. Aker. It's all in your head.
dscoM0nkie: you're so wise
OAO3405: I know. I'm awesome like that.
dscoM0nkie: you should get a girlfriend or something
dscoM0nkie: I bet with your smarts it wouldnt be hard
OAO3405: You're right.
OAO3405: That hasn't helped me very much, actually.
OAO3405: ...there's always that tiny asian girl that follows me around.
dscoM0nkie: Oh come now. I bet if you just convinced one that there is no viable excuse to not go out wiht you shed surely sucumb to the superior mental power you possess over her
dscoM0nkie: ooo tiny asian girls. sounds weak and easy
OAO3405: See, D, there is this one little factor: I'm not an ass.
OAO3405: Despite what you may have been made to believe.
OAO3405: And I don't go for tiny chicks two years younger than me...
dscoM0nkie: What.
dscoM0nkie: Are you some kinda faggot?
OAO3405: No, I just like girls who have developed... and generally, trying to show yourself as better than someone else backfires, especially when you don't think it's true.
dscoM0nkie: so you're a fairie?
OAO3405: Nah... I'd go with a 15 yr old chick, but not 14. Too young.
dscoM0nkie: fag
OAO3405: Because I have taste?
OAO3405: Gotta start at the top, then work your way down to the bottom, not the other way around, my friend.
dscoM0nkie: shutup you fucking ****** before I take my belt out and make you be pens pals with a retard
OAO3405: So you want to be my pen pal now?
OAO3405: Anyway...
dscoM0nkie: 8-)
OAO3405: Why do you care whether or not I talk to Ko? You sound a lot more intelligent when I talk to you on here, so maybe you can give me an intelligent reason.
dscoM0nkie: Why won't you fucking shut up
OAO3405: Just trying to get some answers, D.
OAO3405: Just trying to get some answers.
dscoM0nkie: SHUTUP YOU PIECE OF DOG AFTERBIRTH
OAO3405: >:oGood sir, is that a challenge?
dscoM0nkie: No you stupid ignorant incessent faggot i just want you to shut the fuck up
dscoM0nkie: Does your ugly fat black ass have nothing better to do than question me?
dscoM0nkie: and fart in Mr.Aker's class?
OAO3405: Sure I do, but I can multi-task.
dscoM0nkie: I hate you
OAO3405: I love you too, sugs.
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: v
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
dscoM0nkie: shutup
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OAO3405: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.
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OAO3405: Where's a picture of a crying baby when you need it?
dscoM0nkie: you cummed on it probably
dscoM0nkie: fag
OAO3405: Liking developed chicks = pedophilia?
dscoM0nkie: STOP TALKING YOU FUCKING CLUELESS ASSBAG
OAO3405: ANSWER THE QUESTION. NO. ANSWER IT.
OAO3405: I'll bet that from talking to Ko you know I do that a lot, eh?
dscoM0nkie: is Ko you're dead twin that was choking you when you both squeezed out of your whore of a mom's plagued vagina
OAO3405: Why don't you tell me. You seem to be able to read her mind.
OAO3405: Or, more than likely, she just tells you things she doesn't tell me.
dscoM0nkie: WHY DON'T YOU GET HIT BY A FUCKING FRYING PAN UNTIL YOU DIE YOU STUPID CUNT
OAO3405: Frying pan? Could you have been a little more original? Like scoop out your own eyes and replace them with Cadbury easter eggs?
OAO3405: ^Stolen from Maddox, for the self-referential humor.
dscoM0nkie: Someday I will kill you
dscoM0nkie: I swear to god
OAO3405: Maybe if you knew what I looked like. Anyway... I'm getting bored with this, and you aren't going to tell me anything. So I'm just going to shut-up for now.
dscoM0nkie: WOW

[Jixby Phillips]

:lol

[Anonymous]

i'd like to think the word filters made that 500% better

[CaptainBubba]

Dude I'm so glad I wasn't here for the implementation of those.

[GADZOOKS]

OAO3405: Liking developed chicks = pedophilia?

:lol

[Anonymous]

I love how he thinks dating a girl a whole 2 years younger than him is just uncivilized. What a maroon. :lol

OAO3405: I'm all man

[CaptainBubba]

DscoM0nkie: Look at general blabber asshole.
OAO3405:... fucking ass.

[Anonymous]

hahahaha

[The One and Only...]

Touche.

[ItalianStereotype]

the extent of your wit and your talent for particularly vicious riposte is simply ASTOUNDING, oao.

[Schimid]

If CaptainBubba were an ice cream, he'd be the best ice cream.

[Sacks]

dscoM0nkie: are you suave?
OAO3405: Hell no.

[Helm]

oao have you learnt nothing in all your time here

[Helm]

I'm starting to think you'll never pass your initiation when the time comes

[Sojourn]

I feel bad for Mr. OAO. In rememberance of this tryst, I am keeping my AIM turned off. :(

[The One and Only...]

Meh. Whatever.

Suave = Ga!y with the filters on.

[Helm]

You don't say

[mischief]

you are so sad, OAO

[kellychaos]

There's an initiation? :(

[Tropical]

Meh. Whatever.



It's really funny, everytime he gets burned here. He shrugs it all off in the little posts he makes here as if nothing happen as he feels no shame, no regret at all.

OAO if u think dating a girl 2 years younger than u is uncivilized, then what's your take on prostitution? You realise that it's probablly your only choice left right?

[The One and Only...]

I don't think it's uncivilized, I just don't like dating young chicks. They aren't as physically or mentally mature.

[GADZOOKS]

Do you work for Perdue, OAO?

[Perndog]

OAO thinks high school sophomores, juniors and seniors are physically and mentally mature. :lol

[Anonymous]

Yeah, start shooting for the 30-somethings if you want a LADY OF THE WORLD, oao.

[Sojourn]

Get a hooker first.

Face it. If your going to get mentally, physically and emotionally abused you may as well pay for it and get a well rounded basline foundation started.

This way you can walk away from it without attachments and give advice to people like arrowx.

[CaptainBubba]

OAO3405: So what are you Captain of, anyway, Bubba?
dscoM0nkie: your mom
OAO3405: That's more of an insult to you than to me.
dscoM0nkie: thats more of an insult to your mom
dscoM0nkie: than your mom
OAO3405: More of an insult to my mom than my mom? That doesn't make sense. Honestly, it's an insult to both you and her.
dscoM0nkie: hey OAO
OAO3405: hey Captain Bubba
dscoM0nkie: I put my finger in your mom's butt
OAO3405: Well that must have been a horrible experience.
dscoM0nkie: not as horrible...
dscoM0nkie: AS YOUR MOM
OAO3405: I'll grant you that it isn't as horrible as her weight.
dscoM0nkie: I will dress you up as a sailor
dscoM0nkie: and make you ea hot dogs suggestively
OAO3405: Too bad I'm the only Mocker who will ever get his hot dog licked.
OAO3405: I'm sleepy.:-(
dscoM0nkie: poor baby
OAO3405: I know.
dscoM0nkie: yunno what I do when I get sleepy?
OAO3405: What?
dscoM0nkie: FUCK YOUR MOM
OAO3405: I always wondered how you broke your penis...
dscoM0nkie: holy fucking christ you suck
dscoM0nkie: like, its not even in an endearing cute nerdish kind of way
OAO3405: Then why am I with the one with the tiny asian fan?
dscoM0nkie: WOOPS
OAO3405: Yeah
dscoM0nkie: I FORGOT YOU THINK AN ASIAN GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL LIKES YOU
dscoM0nkie: MAN
dscoM0nkie: FUCK
OAO3405: No, I know she does.
dscoM0nkie: TEACH MY
OAO3405: Teach what?
dscoM0nkie: your ways
dscoM0nkie: how did you get a tiny asain fan?
dscoM0nkie: I feel a little ashamed asking
dscoM0nkie: i mean, im almost 19... and i guess you probably know more aobut getting tiny asian girls to like you
dscoM0nkie: kinda sad really
OAO3405: The key is, after you dance with them, never talk to them again unless they same something later. It might be a few weeks.
OAO3405: *say, not same
OAO3405: Damn, I'm fucking tired.
dscoM0nkie: hold on lemme open word so i can copy paste this
dscoM0nkie: fight it man!
dscoM0nkie: i have to know this shit!
OAO3405: lol
dscoM0nkie: cmon please
OAO3405: Be indifferent with people.
OAO3405: I find that works.
dscoM0nkie: alright man. ill take your word
OAO3405: Yeah.
dscoM0nkie: So how much actually comes out?
OAO3405: It's even working better with the tall asian chick.
OAO3405: What are you talking about?
dscoM0nkie: semen
dscoM0nkie: from their penis
dscoM0nkie: how much?
OAO3405: None, because they don't have one.
dscoM0nkie: HOLY SHIT
dscoM0nkie: :o
OAO3405: Tiny asian female fans.
dscoM0nkie: well yea dude, i thought they had penises
dscoM0nkie: fuck man
dscoM0nkie: fuck
OAO3405: Nah, they just have powerful vaginas capable of blasting Ki waves.
OAO3405: Which makes them super-snappers in bed.
OAO3405: I should know.
OAO3405: So, will there be a new I-Mock thread tonight?
dscoM0nkie: yes
OAO3405: It isn't funny this time, though.
OAO3405: I'm too sleepy to even be as witty as I was last time.

[CaptainBubba]

And new on his profile:





My current workout routine.
For those of you who are like me and want to strength train but don't really have access or time to hit the weights, here's what I do:

- Spend 30 minutes on an elevated treadmill, or walk/jog/run. This is your warm-up and cardio.

- Stretch. This is important. Stretching allows you to perform better on strength training exercises, and improves flexibility.

- Perform 200 bicycle manuevers.

- Perform 100 crunches.

- Perform 50 bridges.

- Perform 15 push-ups, bringing your chin to the floor each time. (Set 1)

- Perform 40 jump squats.

- Perform 15 push-ups, bringing your chin to the floor each time. (Set 2)

- Stretch again.

- Warm down.

Things I'm considering changing:

- Incorporating claps into the push-up routine.

- Incorporating a jump-rope.

Keep in mind that:

- I'm a fencer, and therefore am focusing on lower body strength/power and core stability, although I'm trying to enhance upper body strength/power as well.

- Depending on your level of fitness, you may need to tone down or ratchet up the intensity of these exercises (# of reps is the most obvious way). These are really just guidelines for those who don't know where to begin.

- These exercises are likely not as effective as weight training. In fact, I'd like to hit the weights myself soon...

- I take no liabiity for any health issues or injuries resulting from my program or advice.

[HickMan]

asians are TROUBLE!

[CaptainBubba]

OAO3405: Kashi Lean Crunch coming right at ya.
OAO3405: That shit is amazing.
OAO3405: It's like an orgasm in my mouth, but healthy at the same time.

[The One and Only...]

You gotta finish it, bastard.

[GADZOOKS]

Keep in mind that:

- I'm a fencer, and therefore am focusing on lower body strength/power and core stability, although I'm trying to enhance upper body strength/power as well.

[Anonymous]

OAO3405: So, will there be a new I-Mock thread tonight?
dscoM0nkie: yes
OAO3405: It isn't funny this time, though.
OAO3405: I'm too sleepy to even be as witty as I was last time.
:/

[Schimid]

OAO3405: Nah, they just have powerful vaginas capable of blasting Ki waves.

Okay, that was funny. :=

[Big McLargehuge]

- Perform 200 bicycle manuevers.



i would pay to see OAO do a "bicycle manuever"

[The One and Only...]

Then gimme some money and a webcam.

[kellychaos]

Visual (and I know that they're contrived):

CaptainBubba and OAO running through a field of daisies.

CaptainBubba and OAO sharing a single milk shake with two silly straws.

CaptainBubba and OAO running along a beach holding hands.

CaptainBubba and OAO sharing a mess of spaghetti and discovering, Lady and the Tramp style, that they're slurping on the same noodle.

CaptainBubba pushing OAO on a swing ... OAO gleefully kicing his legs and yelling "Higher! Higher!".

CaptainBubba challenging OAO to a fencing duel and, when OAO has discovered to his suprise that CaptainBubba has won, slaps him playfully on the ass with his foil.