I'm a god damned theif

[Big McLargehuge]

i am always stealing shit. i get away with it, and i am really good at it but i am starting to feel bad.

[EisigerBiskuit]

I stole a shotglass with my name on it. Theivery is always fun, though. It's some sort of biological habit.

[Mad Melvin]

I stole some candy and stuff like that, when I was 12 or 13. I almost got caught once, so I stopped doing it.

[Helm]

switch class. You'd make a good bard.

[Schimid]

fuck, you beat me.

I'm an alright thief, but it's mostly because I can sneak around pretty well. Of course, that doesn't really help me shoplift from big stores or anything. So the only stuff I can steal is from people's houses or something, and I never wanna steal stuff from my friends anyway.

My life sucks.

[EisigerBiskuit]

Free stuff during a hurricane sounded good at first, right? Backup power at Bestbuy

[Matt Harty]

Stealing is a trashy thing to do so I tend to use money.

[DamnthatDavid]

I'm to tall and skinny to steal anything besides paper. :(

[Cosmo Electrolux]

and you can't fucking spell either >:

[Cosmo Electrolux]

i am always stealing shit. i get away with it, and i am really good at it but i am starting to feel bad.

If I were you, I would funnel the energy you expend in being a shoplifting pile of shit into something positive....maybe learn to speak English, or learn a trade. You could be a janitor and clean up other peoples piss from train station floors......

[AChimp]

Stealing is for fags. >:

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

Stealing definately sucks :/

[Evil Robot]

i am always stealing shit. i get away with it, and i am really good at it but i am starting to feel bad.

If I were you, I would funnel the energy you expend in being a shoplifting pile of shit into something positive....maybe learn to speak English, or learn a trade. You could be a janitor and clean up other peoples piss from train station floors......


Dear Cosmo Electrolux,
You have colon cancer. Can you not tell I am serious? You have been warned before it became cancer and you shirked your responsibility to your children by not consulting a doctor. Now it will be emotionaly turbulent for all those around you.

Sincerely, Evil Robot

[Galvatron]

i am always stealing shit. i get away with it, and i am really good at it but i am starting to feel bad.

Well, at least you're starting to feel remorse. Now you have to learn how to stop.. And maybe apologize, depending who you stole from

[Emu]

GALVATRON, ADVICE GIVER BOT 200

[Big McLargehuge]

I only steal from places i fucking hate. I don't steal from places i respect. Or from people, ever.

[Emu]

Stealing from places you hate is like punching a guy in the dark. It doesn't accomplish anything because they don't realize it was done because you hate them.

[Big McLargehuge]

Except i leave notes

[Cosmo Electrolux]

i am always stealing shit. i get away with it, and i am really good at it but i am starting to feel bad.

If I were you, I would funnel the energy you expend in being a shoplifting pile of shit into something positive....maybe learn to speak English, or learn a trade. You could be a janitor and clean up other peoples piss from train station floors......


Dear Cosmo Electrolux,
You have colon cancer. Can you not tell I am serious? You have been warned before it became cancer and you shirked your responsibility to your children by not consulting a doctor. Now it will be emotionaly turbulent for all those around you.

Sincerely, Evil Robot

Dear Robot,

You are neither evil, nor a robot...you are an incontinent 14 year old with an internet connection and no concept of comedy. Stop now.

Cosmo

P.S. The letter thing was mine three years ago, you myopic douchbag. Cease and desist.....dickhole.

[kellychaos]

I'm to tall and skinny to steal anything besides paper. :(

You could slip through cracks in building late at night, after-hours and become Stealing Man ... by stealing stuff 'cause you're so skinny and can slip thruough stuff. OMG! :eek

[ArrowX]

But how would he get out through said cracks holding a 56' rear projection tv? It would be like enlongated man could stretch out but not back.

[Emu]

ArrowX, physics professor

[executioneer]

most doors unlock from the inside arrox

[ArrowX]

So he would be slip in take off in a Vista Colt man?

[executioneer]

drunkard

[Matt Harty]

I only steal from places i fucking hate. I don't steal from places i respect. Or from people, ever.

I almost don't hate you now.

[Big McLargehuge]

That's what i was going for :rolleyes

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

So, uh, what kind of things do you steal? Where from? How do you accomplish this?

*gets on the phone with the police... waits for bigmclargehuge to answer my questions*

[Guitar Woman]

When I was 15, I would steal anything. Work gloves, loose change, hedge trimmers, stationary, food, etc.
I also loaded up on packets of free condiments at various fast food restraunts. I still do that, because I'm a fucking cheapskate. :_:

[executioneer]

i stole some magic cards once just to see if i could (and i could lol)