Could I be a model?

[The One and Only...]

My mom was joking with me about the fact that I don't have a summer job, so I jestingly suggested applying for a modelling position. Apparently she took me seriously, because her response was "Maybe you SHOULD become a model...".

Now, here is my question. Being the camwhore that I am, a modelling job would be great for me... but do I really have the looks?

For once, be serious.

[eggyolk]

too fat >:

[ziggytrix]

how tall are you, do you live near a major metropolitan area, and are you good at standing still without fidgiting while doing exactly what you are told by demanding, impatient perfectionists?

[Gurlugon]

beefy arm modeling haha

[The One and Only...]

how tall are you, do you live near a major metropolitan area, and are you good at standing still without fidgiting while doing exactly what you are told by demanding, impatient perfectionists?

5'11", within an hour of DC, probably.

[MetalMilitia]

I am yet again outraged.

[sadie]

you can be the model for know-it-all geeks everywhere!

[Supafly345]

If you want seriousness, no, you are nowhere pretty enough to be a model. I have only known one model guy, and while he may blend in with everyone in the magazines, in real life women throw themselves at him despite his lack of beef. Unless you are a very distinguished old person, you have to be abnormally pretty to be a model. Everything about you, down to your safety glasses, are cripplingly plain. Ugly people get more modeling jobs than plain people.

[Emu]

Your face isn't symmetrical enough, but then again I haven't seen you in real life. If you really want to know if you're pretty, measure the ratios between the width of your mouth and the width of your nose. It should be exactly 3.18. Do the same with various other parts of your face. Measure every ratio you can.

[ziggytrix]

shit man, we won't hear from him for a week now. but you can bet he'll have pages of ratios when he's back.

[Helm]

haha

[The One and Only...]

Nah, I'm not measuring any fuckin ratios.

And there are quite a few models at my school who don't have men (they're girls) thrown at them. Actually, Lauren was one of them, and when I first knew her I thought her face was iffy.

Obviously you don't wear glasses, but I see your point. Oh well.

Ziggy, what do you know about the subject, simply out of curiousity?

[kellychaos]

Given your abnormally large weiner size, I'm suprised the Trojan advertisers haven't scooped you up to be the maxim poster boy.

[The One and Only...]

Good point.

[DeadKennedys]

What kind of modeling are you looking to do?

There's Fashion - Runways, Fashion shows
Commercial - TV, billboards, packaging
Promotional - Anything from trade shows and conventions to being hired to hand out free samples. Focuses less on your looks and being photographed and more on your ability to interact with people.
Glamour - Anything from calendars to swimsuit magazines

Male fashion models are usually 6' to 6' 2" tall and wear size 40 regular jacket. It really doesn't matter how tall or heavy a commercial model is.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a31/OAO3405/Stonecold.jpg

You do this thing with your face when you're trying to look sexy for us. I don't know how your face looks when you're not doing that but it gives your face an unattractive, bottom-heavy look to it. Bite the lip, look aloof, but don't give the "ANSWER THE QUESTION" stare. Try taking off the glasses, growing your hair out a little longer, shaping the eyebrows, a new look and call me in the morning.

There is a difference between toned muscles and too much. Fanatic bodybuilders seem to think rippling muscle mass that swallows your neck and makes you so big you can't reach across your chest looks good, but they're the only ones. Your legs look like a couple of hams on pencils. Weightlifting is not a proper hobby for a model, fencing would be great though.

You also have this habit of flexing so much you look like a tool. The key is subtlety; let people notice what looks good, don't force it on them. Why are you trying so hard?

The most ironic thing about this thread is that for someone that seems so concerned with worldly things like government, philosophy and economics to want to be in something so shallow and self-centered as modeling.

[theapportioner]

Can't hurt to try...

[Helm]

nice post, DK.

[The One and Only...]

What kind of modeling are you looking to do?

There's Fashion - Runways, Fashion shows
Commercial - TV, billboards, packaging
Promotional - Anything from trade shows and conventions to being hired to hand out free samples. Focuses less on your looks and being photographed and more on your ability to interact with people.
Glamour - Anything from calendars to swimsuit magazines

Aiming more for the Commercial area.

Male fashion models are usually 6' to 6' 2" tall and wear size 40 regular jacket. It really doesn't matter how tall or heavy a commercial model is.

I'm 5'11", and another site said above 5'10"... I think I have the chest part covered.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a31/OAO3405/Stonecold.jpg

You do this thing with your face when you're trying to look sexy for us. I don't know how your face looks when you're not doing that but it gives your face an unattractive, bottom-heavy look to it. Bite the lip, look aloof, but don't give the "ANSWER THE QUESTION" stare. Try taking off the glasses, growing your hair out a little longer, shaping the eyebrows, a new look and call me in the morning.

Good advice. I admit, I hate that picture. My sideshot in the same post I think looks less like a poker face, but I have a LOOONG way to go.

What do you mean by shaping the eyebrows?

There is a difference between toned muscles and too much. Fanatic bodybuilders seem to think rippling muscle mass that swallows your neck and makes you so big you can't reach across your chest looks good, but they're the only ones. Your legs look like a couple of hams on pencils. Weightlifting is not a proper hobby for a model, fencing would be great though.

The irony of it all is that I'm trying to train more for strength than mass...

You also have this habit of flexing so much you look like a tool. The key is subtlety; let people notice what looks good, don't force it on them. Why are you trying so hard?

I'm so proud of my newfound mass that I always want to show it off :<

The most ironic thing about this thread is that for someone that seems so concerned with worldly things like government, philosophy and economics to want to be in something so shallow and self-centered as modeling.

Well, I'm not going to deny an avenue to cash.

[Bell E. Laffs]

Or an avenue filled with men wanting to cornhole you.



For once, be serious.

:eek

[kellychaos]

And possibly anal modeling. I'm really entertaining the thought of butt modeling lately.

[glowbelly]

lemme break this down for you, oao:

http://s88071834.onlinehome.us/glowbelly/pictures/tyson.jpg

YEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a31/OAO3405/Stonecold.jpg

no.

http://s88071834.onlinehome.us/glowbelly/pictures/beckham.jpg

yeeeeeeeeessssss. yes, please. :orgasm

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a31/OAO3405/Stonecold.jpg

nooooooooooooooo.

http://s88071834.onlinehome.us/glowbelly/pictures/river1.jpg

YES. even though he's dead. :( YES.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a31/OAO3405/Stonecold.jpg

uh. no.

[ziggytrix]

Ziggy, what do you know about the subject, simply out of curiousity?

I'm in the biz. :( Digital retouching and all that shit. We work for photographers and advertizing department art directors, to make the models all zit-free and fantastic.

Your best bet would be to go through a modeling agency. You aren't going to find anything freelance unless you have industry connections. But even though an agency, you'd have to put together a portfolio, and then hope a photographer contacts the agency looking for people who fit a description that your portfolio matches. Then you have to hope the photographer picks you out of half a dozen portfolios they'll be looking at. It's not so easy.

Oh, and a tip about the agencies, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Some of them are not so forthright in their dealings with their models. My ex-wife did some modeling before I met her, and she gave me a pretty negative impression of her agency. They may try to squeeze money out of you for their services even while thinking they probably won't get you any jobs.

[Mr. Fugo]

http://img66.imageshack.us/img66/7606/strongii4fa.png

C'mon, Ms.Glowbelly, Give him a chanse. He will rock your world.

[adept_ninja]

instead of taking on a job in the modeling industry why dont you take on a job that is more fit for your abilitys say such as the fast food industry?

[Helm]

god this thread is doing great

[The One and Only...]

Thank you DK and Ziggy.

Glow, I don't know why you are comparing me to adult models in professionally taken photos, but more power to ya.

[glowbelly]

you asked if you could be a model. i'm trying to show you why the answer is NO.

[Zomboid]

It's not just no, but a very resounding no >:

[The One and Only...]

you asked if you could be a model. i'm trying to show you why the answer is NO.

1) Then post some pics of models my age
2) Honestly, I didn't even see that great a difference in features between the 3rd guy and me.

I don't think I'm even going to pursue modelling, but I'm in the mood for a completely irrelevant argument.

[Bell E. Laffs]

2) Honestly, I didn't even see that great a difference in features between the 3rd guy and me.


pre-mortem or post-mortem? :lol

[Lotida]

Honestly, I didn't even see that great a difference in features between the 3rd guy and me.


Jack..Jack..Jack... there is a HUGE difference. I'm sorry but a model you are not. :(

[Yggdrasill]

1) Then post some pics of models my age

I just saw this thread and can can already tell he just wanted everyone to post pictures of hot guys.

I am so much more a model than you OAO because my friends take pictures of me and post it on church bulletins so everyone can pray for me to lay off the drugs and gay sex.

I'm a model citizen and that's all that matters. :posh

[CaptainBubba]

Guys, you have failed this test of life as I could've easily forseen. OaO's potential beauty is so apparent, and yet so elusive to the untrained eye. When the dolphins from outer space see a jeans advertisement do you know whose faces they are going to see?

http://myspace-440.vo.llnwd.net/00147/04/43/147933440_l.jpg

http://myspace-295.vo.llnwd.net/00147/59/23/147933295_l.jpg

This is the future of modeling. Sucks ya'll had to miss out. ;p ;p ;p ;p ;p ;p Its me and you OaO. All the way to the spaceship from that CD cover with laser guns under our chairs and dolphins suckin it all day long. We're savin the universe.

[Helm]

you're better looking, shame about the lazy eyes.

[Dole]

OAO, if you are not taking the piss then you are staggeringly deluded (from some of your comments on here, not because you want to be a model) and your egomania is expanding at an exponential rate.

[The One and Only...]

I don't think that Bubba is better looking than I am, he just has a better camera (you can see his cheek line, not as fuzzy) and isn't wearing the ANSWER THE QUESTION face. Plus why is everyone comparing my worst picture to others?

And all I can say, Dole, is that there was a time when narcissism was the only thing that kept me alive.

[dreaddi]

My mom was joking with me about the fact that I don't have a summer job, so I jestingly suggested applying for a modelling position. Apparently she took me seriously, because her response was "Maybe you SHOULD become a model...".

Now, here is my question. Being the camwhore that I am, a modelling job would be great for me... but do I really have the looks?

For once, be serious.

See, I think you might wanna get a second (and third and fourth) opinion from a person in real life, apart from your mom...
Also because the pictures you've posted so far really suck. If you really want people on the internet to judge you, post better pictures. And don't blame it on the camera, noone will need/want to see every pore in its finest detail. I can take better pictures than that in one of those passport photo cabinet things.[/b]

[The One and Only...]

Well, I have gotten several opinions from people IRL. Most of them are saying "go for it." Granted, most of those are girls who I already know find me dead sexay, but w/e...

Most of those pics I had to take myself, with the exception of the uberquad pic and the beefy arm one (my fav).

[adept_ninja]

Haha well anyone that knows you and is semi friends isnt going to shoot down your dreams of being a model of course they are going to support you. Shit I could tell my friends I want to be a seal clubber for a living all they would tell me is "shoot for the stars" and " a noble endevor"

[PILLOWFIGHT]

male models usually look like beautiful ladies, but you dont look beautiful!

but then again how many models have heard that theyre never goign to make it? ALOT! just look at tyra banks and do your best, OAO

[kellychaos]

Does Donatello know that you raided his wardrobe?

[DeadKennedys]

Plus why is everyone comparing my worst picture to others?

A model is only as good as their worst picture.

[Lotida]

you're better looking, shame about the lazy eyes.

Hey, it worked for Sylvester Stalone! :)

[ziggytrix]

BTW OAO, not being an ass or anything, but I haven't seen a single pic where you "looked like a model." I'm not callin you ugly, just saying your face isn't shaped like most male models. You don't have the very masculine square jaw (think Brad Pitt or John Travolta) or the panty creaming girlish-boy face (think Orlando Bloom or River Phoenix).

Would need to see a profile pic to be sure, but I think you've got a pretty average facial bone structure.

The short of it is, I wouldn't expect to make any money off it, certainly not in the short term. I'm assuming you're looking for something seasonal for the summer. Frankly, mowing lawns is less tedious and pays better. Construction work is also usually easy to get, and pays quite well, assuming you don't mind working outside.

[The One and Only...]

Yeah. My face is kinda angular.

[CaptainBubba]

Now tell us about how this girl totally wanted to have sex with you if you had wanted but you chose not too because you have higher standards and cmon you could get laid anytime you want you've touched boobs all the time around town am I right?

If I have two lazy eyes doesnt that just mean I am tired?

[AChimp]

Yeah. My face is kinda angular.
Actually, your face is pudgy and covered in baby fat.

[Helm]

Captainbubba I'm sorry english isn't my first language, when I said lazy eyes I didn't mean you know, wondering, cross-eyed thing. I guess that's what the word means though? I was more talking about the shape of your EYESOCKETS LOL anyway sorry I'm sure they look better on other photos. You're way better looking than OAO ( although that haircut... ugh) and if you said you wanted to be a model or something I wouldn't find it hilarious ( although you may be too buff for some work in the field)

OAO: what does being a model mean to you? Why do you find the idea appealing? Are you trying to find personal verification on your looks through being in the field? If you do so, I'M SORRY but I can tell you right now that you're. just. not. pretty. enough. That's not 'one guy's opinion' I mean it in the sense that as it has been mentioned before in this thread, you lack the unifying characteristics of almost all the male models I've seen: hard edges coupled with feminine features. Sorry. You're just a bland overjawed geek. This doesn't mean you're not going to get a girlfriend. It means that you're not going to be a model.

[AChimp]

But his MOM said he could!

[McClain]

Mothers are known for their objective candor.

[The One and Only...]

Actually, your face is pudgy and covered in baby fat.

That's what I can't understand. It only looks that way in the picture...

And many people in person beyond my mom have said I could.

[!!!!]

At modeling agencies it is very common for them to take shitty polaroids of the models. If they look good in the polaroid, they can work it. The same applies to shitty camera phone pictures. How you look in person in the opinions of biased people is irrelevant, modeling is about being PHOTOGRAPHED.

[Yggdrasill]

This could make sense because I was just remembering something were some models(generic model thing I guess, none of them every dreamed of being a model) were all saying "I was a total dork as a teen"

Next thing your friends are going to sign you up in a model contest! Wacky huh! Then you'll go and be the smash hit of the summer!

Or most likely not, there was a time when everyone said I should play tennis and boy were they so wrong. There was a time when everyone was like "you should really go out with him" /wrong. And I remember the time I really listened to hip-hop to feel it in my soul. WRONG WRONG WRONG

My point is people are stupid, really stupid, when it comes to things like this.

[kellychaos]

I once felt a really, really good steak in my soul. I became one with it. I could feel myself being lifted off the picnic bench and over the potato salad and three-bean salad ... and then ... gently wafting above billowing clouds of the mesquite embers. In a most lucid fashion, I looked below and saw myself eating my own steak. I am not proud of this. :sharetime

[Spectre X]

OAO, your camera's quality does not excuse you looking absolutely ridiculous in that picture.

Well, hand modeling, maybe, but anything with your face would be a great big no.

You are unfit for modeling.

repeat after me.

You are unfit for modeling.
You are unfit for modeling.
You are unfit for modeling.

Your expression does not matter.

Your camera does not matter.

Whoever is complimenting you doesn't have a clue as to what they're talking about.

Just... Just stop, okay? You really, really, really can't do modeling.

Seriously.

No modeling.

Ever.

[kellychaos]

CLICK! CLICK! BOOM! (http://images.radcity.net/5911/1055897.mpg)

[PILLOWFIGHT]

try saying "New DVDS every week at everyday low prices"!

[Dr. Boogie]

Perhaps your mom meant that you should become a hand model. Surely all that fencing has built up those hand muscles.




See, it would've been too easy to say that his hand muscles were built up through routinely massaging that massive member of his. I didn't go that route, though. Class.

[McClain]

I can't help but want to call this dude Zoolander.

[Dr. Boogie]

Magnum!

[Helm]

What IS THIS? A center for ANTS?!

[Geggy]

http://www.edgarsports.co.nz/brent2.jpg

[The One and Only...]

People, just let this thread die. I already got all the useful info I'd need; I know people in modelling who could give me advice as to go for it/not to go for it; and frankly, I think that the fact that there always seems to be a woman oogling me when I go out speaks for itself.

Can I be a model? Maybe not. I have a big feeling of "it's more trouble than it's worth" anyway. So long as I'm getting attention from teh ladez, I don't much care.

[Chojin]

Who in the fuck would 'oogle'-
Why do you even ask us if-
RRngh. Eerf. Engh.

That's it, my revenge will be archiving everything you've said here and showing it to you again in 5 years.

[Krythor]

I think that the fact that there always seems to be a woman oogling me when I go out speaks for itself.

I don't foresee this line being topped for hilarity by anybody any time soon.

[kellychaos]

Negative attention is still attention, I suppose.

"Enter the tent ladies, and gentlemen. Enter this equisite exhibit and be the first on your block to see abnormally-sized forearm boy! Marvel at his unchanging countenance! Swoon at his massive forearms! Come one, come all to this marvel of genetic superiority. One dollar a ticket, please!"

[sadie]

googling eyes oogling.

[DeadKennedys]

The biggest problem I see with you besides your appalling plainness is the idea you have that women fawn over you whenever you go outside. So, you can't be a model and you're a jackass. Not a good combination.

[maggiekarp]

Wouldn't a stranger's advice on your looks be useful if you're considering modeling? It's not like the only people who see stuff like that are your mom and chicks who liked you.

Then again, common sense that is far too late and would have been ignored anyway by silly ideas like "I could be a model, but it's too much work. I'll just hump all these LADEZ (perhapes Lads? I see no eeeee sound!)"

[Dole]

If you can't even fucking spell 'ogle' chances are women aren't doing it at you!!!! Maybe they are staring in disbelief.

[McClain]

I like to keep my thighs nice and skinny. Makes my balls look huge.

[Tropical]

I think that the fact that there always seems to be a woman oogling me when I go out speaks for itself.


I dunno if the i-mockery community is all pc now and have to justify every single one of their opinion. But after the quote above, i've had it.

OAO i think you look retarded and ugly in every single one of your photos so far. Compared to captain bubba you are not buff at all

you are an arrogant cocksucker and u need a reality check.

you will not consider anything i type here seriously. for you are in denial

[kellychaos]

I, for one, find your candor refreshing. :posh

[The One and Only...]

And who are you?

[Supafly345]

OMG noob

[Chojin]

And who are you?
Someone who's been around for about 2 years longer than you.

[Zomboid]

Am I the only one surprised that OAO hasn't gotten the shit beaten out of him yet? Especially back when he gave us all a detailed log of how he essentially stalked girls? If I knew someone like him, I think I'd have to mess them up in the hopes that they'd get a better grasp on reality.

[Supafly345]

If you knew someone like him, then you would probably be sitting at the dork table at lunch. I am pretty sure I would never have even known this guy existed if he went to my school.

[kellychaos]

I used to have to use those brown, industrial-strength napkins to soak the grease off the top of cafeteria pizza in high school but it wasn't at the dork table. No sir!!

[vampirekiss]

did i just see a picture of river phoenix :orgasm[/center][/url]