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View Full Version : THE WAR ON MOUSTACHES HAS BEGUN


MISTER FART
Mar 20th, 2003, 09:49 PM
WHAT YOU ARE NOT HEARING FROM THE GOVERNMENT THAT THIS IS NOT A WAR ON TERRORISM OR WHATEVER PROPAGOANDA THAT IT IS BEING CALLED, THIS IS A TOTAL WAR EXPLCITLY TARGETED AT MOUSTACHES, AND THE THREAT THE MOUSTACHE POSES ON THE AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE, AND WHERE IS THE WORLDS LARGEST POPULATION OF MOUSTACHES LOCATED??? OMG, GUESS WHAT, IRAQ.!!!!

IT IS BELEIVED THAT SADAM HAS WEAPONS OF MASS MOUSTACHES HIDDEN IN HIS MOUSTACHE, WITH ENOUGH FIREPOWER TO MOUSTACHE POPULATIONS OF MILLIONS OF INNONCENT CLEANLY SHAVEN VICTIMS.

THE CONTROVERSY AROUND WHETHER IT WAS THE REAL SADAM TO MAKE THE SPEACH YESTERDAY IS SILLY, YOU CAN TELL THE ANSWER BY PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE MOUSTACHE, THE MOUSTACHE WAS OBVIOUSLY HAVING A BAD MOUSTACHE DAY , THE MOUSTACHE ACTUALLY HAS UP TO 23 MOUSTACHE STAND INS, BUT THIS WAS THE REAL MOUSTACHE. THE MOUSTACHE MANIFESTS ITSELF ON UP TO 50 DIFFERENT PEOPLE A DAY, SO THE TRUE LOCATION OF THE REAL SADAM MOUSTACHE CAN NEVER REALLY BE CERTAIN IF IT IS THE REAL SADAM OR NOT.

GEORGE BUSH DECIDED TO REVENGE ON IRAQ BECAUSE OF HIS EXTREME MOUSTACHE ENVY, HIS FATHER HAD IT 12 YEARS AGO WHEN HE DISCOVERED THAT HE COULD NOT FROW A MOUSTACHE AS POWERFUL OR SUPERIOR AS SADAMS MOUSTACHE, AND NOW HIS SON HAS TO FINISH OFF SADMAS MOUSTACHE, BECAUSE HE AHS THE SAME INFERIOR GENETIC MAKE UP THAT PREVENTS HIM FROM GROWING SUCH A MOUSTACHE CAPALE OF SUCH COLLATERAL MOUSTACHES.

BUSH AND SADAM NEED TO JOIN FORCES INSTEAD OF FIGHTING OVER WHO HAS THE BETTER FACIAL HARI, AND COMBINE THEIR EFFORTS TO CREATE ONE ULTRA MEGA "BUSHY MOUSTACHE"

IT IS ALSO BELEIVED THAT SADAM HAS BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS CAPABLE OF GENETICALLY MUTATING "SUPER MOUSTACHES" THAT COULD TAKE OVER ENTIRE NATIONS, AND THERE IS SPECULATION THAT THEY ARE EVEN CAPABLE OF DEVELOPING A MOUSTACHWE THAT COULD COVER THE SUN, AND SPELL DOOM FOR THE ENTIRE PLANET.

GOD PLEASE DO NOT LET THIS BE THE CASE. :(

whoreable
Mar 20th, 2003, 09:50 PM
may god save us all :(

Esuohlim
Mar 20th, 2003, 09:53 PM
This is probably the truest thing I've heard about this war ever.

Evil Robot
Mar 20th, 2003, 09:54 PM
There are actually two saddams. One was on TV today and he has a thicker, more greasy mustache then other saddam. Probably from licking it all the time.

whoreable
Mar 20th, 2003, 09:57 PM
you obviously dont understand what MISTER FART was trying to say :rolleyes

Evil Robot
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:01 PM
For your information I didn't actually read the whole thing.

whoreable
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:04 PM
MISTER FART, what would help the war effort to sahve a moustache?

MISTER FART
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:09 PM
I THINK THE BEST THING WOULD BE TO FOR EVERYONE TO STICK ON THE PUBES ON THEIR FACE., AND THEN IN A MASS SHOW OF FORCE WE ALL SET OUR PUBE FACES ON FIRE!!!!!

THAT WOULD SHOW THOSE DAMN IRAQIS >: >: >: >: >:

whoreable
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:12 PM
You are a good American. :)

Jeanette X
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:35 PM
There are actually two saddams. One was on TV today and he has a thicker, more greasy mustache then other saddam. Probably from licking it all the time.

There are more than two. Saddam has about 14 doubles who do public appearences.

Evil Robot
Mar 20th, 2003, 10:55 PM
Yeah but only two of them have carpets that match the curtains.

Captain Robo
Mar 20th, 2003, 11:07 PM
It would have been funny if Saddam left the country (when he had the chance), but didn't evacuate his decoys...

Then again, that's probably what he did :(

Evil Robot
Mar 20th, 2003, 11:41 PM
I think saddam went to live with hitlers clone in argentina. They would live together and be filmed in a reality show similar to the odd couple, except this show will have much more anti-semitism.

FS
Mar 21st, 2003, 04:56 AM
God have moustache on us all. :(

glowbelly
Mar 21st, 2003, 09:26 AM
mister fart:

what happens if you don't have any pubic hairs to put on your face to burn? :(

MISTER FART
Mar 21st, 2003, 09:57 AM
WHAT HAPPENS GLWOBELLY IS OF A VERY SERIOUS MATTER, LUCKLILY THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN SECRETLY WORKING ON A WEAPON THAT IS ABLE TO BE USED ON ONES SELF TO MOUSTACHE THE GENATALIA. IT HAS BEEN A SECRET RECIPE IN THE BUSH FAMILY, PASSED DOWN FROM GENERTAION TO GENERATION AND NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME AVAILABLE TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC. COME ON, LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER WONDERED WHERE THE FUCK THEY GOT THEIR NAME FROM. THE DRUG IS ADMINISTERED BY AN GUNSHOT UP THE ASS, AND WITHIN MINUTES A NATURAL LOOKING BUSH BEGINS TO EMERGE THAT BUSH HIMSELF WOULD BE PROUD OF.

THE PRODUCT IS LIKELY TO BE NAMED "OMG, I MOUSTACHED MY PANTS FOR PEACE"

glowbelly
Mar 21st, 2003, 10:29 AM
mister fart:

is this procedure painful?

Matt Harty
Mar 21st, 2003, 11:04 AM
It hurts to yell so loud.

kellychaos
Mar 21st, 2003, 01:15 PM
http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whymilk.com%2Ffu n%2Fmakeyourown%2Fgallery.php

Esuohlim
Mar 21st, 2003, 04:27 PM
MISTER FART knows his stuff. :)

Spectre X
Mar 21st, 2003, 04:42 PM
it is rumoured that the real Saddam is already dead, but that his moustache, and moustache doubles live on. :eek

I am Mexican Jewish
Mar 21st, 2003, 09:50 PM
OMG! I think I am Iraqi! I got a mustache! Does it counts me as Iraqi with soul patch, and beard together with a mustache? :/

Esuohlim
Mar 21st, 2003, 10:40 PM
Then why aren't you an Iraqi Mexican Jewish?

I am Mexican Jewish
Mar 21st, 2003, 11:00 PM
You see, I am the only human melting pot in the world. :)

MISTER FART
Mar 22nd, 2003, 12:34 AM
GLOWBELLY, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION I DRAW YOUR ATTENTION TO PRESIDENT BUSH'S FACE :/

Jixby Phillips
Mar 22nd, 2003, 04:51 AM
mister fart:

mister fart

jin
Mar 22nd, 2003, 05:30 AM
[center:f2d042ddd9]http://www.top-players.com/jin/saddam.gif[/center:f2d042ddd9]

Esuohlim
Mar 22nd, 2003, 04:40 PM
Does a moustache still count as a moustache if it goes around into a goatee?

Matt Harty
Mar 22nd, 2003, 04:51 PM
I thought a goatee was just on the chin

Esuohlim
Mar 22nd, 2003, 04:54 PM
It can still be a goatee if it connects to a moustache. :rolleyes

jin
Mar 22nd, 2003, 10:03 PM
Facial hair is Facial Hair For Saddam!

STOP THE EVIL - START THE SHAVING.

Satan has a goatee - DO YOU SUPPORT SATAN???