WICKED
Sep 17th, 2005, 12:15 AM
OK, so this is the story.
First thing's first: my family is fucking cheap. Up until about two weeks ago, we had not bought new cell phones for six years. That's right, you remember you those phones! Those boxy, black dildoes with an antenna? The kind that you were entirely amazed, at the time, that it had a -whoah- DOT-MATRIX screen and -oooh- little jingles instead of rings!
Suffice it to say, I was glad to get a new one.
Things were pretty cool for a while: playing with the camera, Jamdat Bejeweled, etc. But, several days ago, something wholely terrible happened.
It was morning. I was on the bus to school and was bored as hell. Had I been black at that moment, I could have smoked a joint and been done with it. I'm not, so that was sadly out of the question. My real options were:
1. Play the 17th boring game of Bejeweled in a row.
B. Try not to projectile vomit repeatedly while unwillingly listening in on the two ugly Paris Hiltons behind me chat about guys they plan to screw (a subset I'm not a part a part of).
3. Do my homework. (ha) Or:
Aha! that's it! I'll download another game! YAY! Me so smrt!
So, I looked through my phone's list of games to download. Let's see: Duke Nukem Mobile could only be crap, so no. Galaga...hmmm...no. Not a cell phone. And then I found IT.
It was a game we've all played before. A little block puzzle called Tetris. eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRR TETRIS! What follows is so normal, that I won't waste your time with it. All I did was select the game from the list of many, pay for the temporary subscription instead of the permanent, start the download, and wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...w ait... wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...w ait...wait...wait...wait..wait...wait...wait...
And then I had IT. I played IT. I had IT and I played IT. And that was all it took. IT had consumed me already, and now, even as I sit here typing, blocks are falling before my eyes. They beckon me, they do. My cell phone taunts me from the charger. It sounds like "play. play. you know you want to. just play".
And now that I am a prisoner to the TETRIS, I beg that you all save yourselves! Do not put Tetris on something as accessable as a cell phone! IT will take you, as IT has taken me...
First thing's first: my family is fucking cheap. Up until about two weeks ago, we had not bought new cell phones for six years. That's right, you remember you those phones! Those boxy, black dildoes with an antenna? The kind that you were entirely amazed, at the time, that it had a -whoah- DOT-MATRIX screen and -oooh- little jingles instead of rings!
Suffice it to say, I was glad to get a new one.
Things were pretty cool for a while: playing with the camera, Jamdat Bejeweled, etc. But, several days ago, something wholely terrible happened.
It was morning. I was on the bus to school and was bored as hell. Had I been black at that moment, I could have smoked a joint and been done with it. I'm not, so that was sadly out of the question. My real options were:
1. Play the 17th boring game of Bejeweled in a row.
B. Try not to projectile vomit repeatedly while unwillingly listening in on the two ugly Paris Hiltons behind me chat about guys they plan to screw (a subset I'm not a part a part of).
3. Do my homework. (ha) Or:
Aha! that's it! I'll download another game! YAY! Me so smrt!
So, I looked through my phone's list of games to download. Let's see: Duke Nukem Mobile could only be crap, so no. Galaga...hmmm...no. Not a cell phone. And then I found IT.
It was a game we've all played before. A little block puzzle called Tetris. eeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRR TETRIS! What follows is so normal, that I won't waste your time with it. All I did was select the game from the list of many, pay for the temporary subscription instead of the permanent, start the download, and wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...w ait... wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...wait...w ait...wait...wait...wait..wait...wait...wait...
And then I had IT. I played IT. I had IT and I played IT. And that was all it took. IT had consumed me already, and now, even as I sit here typing, blocks are falling before my eyes. They beckon me, they do. My cell phone taunts me from the charger. It sounds like "play. play. you know you want to. just play".
And now that I am a prisoner to the TETRIS, I beg that you all save yourselves! Do not put Tetris on something as accessable as a cell phone! IT will take you, as IT has taken me...