SUPERHERO ADVENTURE w/ CARNI, CB, AND GRANDFATHER SMASH!!!

[Carnivore]

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Three superheroes set forth on a quest to defeat a horrific supervillain and his ilk!

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It's Jeffrey Shyu, formerly known as Apportioner, now known as Grandfather SMASH! If you ever go bowling with him, you'll understand. I don't even know how to describe his facial expression here.

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Sheila Litchfield, the superheroine Crazy Biter! She stands ready to gnaw off the head of injustice!

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Finally, Jeffrey Rogers, Carnivore, meatatarian extraordinaire. Prepare to face beefy justice!

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Our journey would take us from Massachusetts to Virginia. Sheila seems to know where we're going... maybe.

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We passed through scenic New Jersey on the way. Looks at the lush vegitation! While we were there, we killed all the members of Jerseyboy's family we could find.

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We had to make contact with a man named Broverg in a town called Port Tobacco.

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Clearly, we are in the cradle of civilization.

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I do believe this medieval device is used for grinding meat! :meat

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Was this house abandoned, out here in the middle of nowhere? No! It was Broverg's house!

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George has one hell of a stylin' hairstyle!

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His kitties seem to love each other....

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George provided shelter for the night and further mission details. He also provided much needed comic relief, a break from the seriousness of our mission.

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The next day, we made a rendezvous with two hot chicks! Erin Gambetta, the heroine Agent Burdock, and her friend Christa... who could very easily be a heroine too, but I don't know her that well.

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We managed to find Erin's husband Josh in a crowd of more than 100,000 people. We seriously had no planned meeting place. We just found him. We clearly rule.

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We found many allies in the city including Peace Man. Unfortunately, his powers were of no use to us.

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Since only Ronnie knows the way to Jesus, only he can answer this question!

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Our freedom is being held in bondage!

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Okay, that's just obscene.

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Down with fish! Fight the power!

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How could we lose with such powerful allies?

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Victory is assured!

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Oh, my God! A prototype Iraqi drone! Maybe George Bush wasn't lying to us after all!

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No! We had a mission and we were pumped up to do it! C'mon, you guys! Show some enthusiasm!

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I had to get charged up before the big bang. Turtle power!

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The lair of the enemy! Shyu and I pay our respects.

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I take care of business with my meat ray!

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Shyu mops up. Grandfather SMASH! Credit to Rog for the animation.

Sheila ate the Supreme Court. It was too gory for the camera.

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Time to celebrate our victory by taking in some culture! Something seems to be missing from the sculpture, though.

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The Brazilian dance form known as Capoeira! It mimics fighting without actual physical contact. Burdock took these.

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More!

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Even more!

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This is the last one, I swear!

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Time to eat and replenish my powers! :meat

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We had to pay homage to another hero who couldn't be with us. Erin didn't write darkly enough on the paper, so I had to add the message myself while editing the photos.

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We parted company with Erin and Christa and headed to Virginia to celebrate. We found Jason playing Nude Punch Out, as usual. He kept telling me how much he loves Von Kaiser's package. :puke

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Princess Proto wants a prince to take her virginity!

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Re didn't like me interrupting her girl talk with Sheila.

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After, Rog and Scooty Bear engaged in a Mario Kart duel. The winner is clear. Animation by Rog.

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We went bowling afterwards. Mockery suspects something is afoot with the scoreboard!

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Way to bowl, Homoclown! That's what it said on the board, but the photo didn't come out too well so I had to fix it a bit so it could be read.

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A great round for Cockery!

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A not-so-white pig wanted some nachos.

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Check out my hog, ladies!

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:eek

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Time to rent some movies! Excuse me, sir, but could you help me find... oh, my God! It's Jaeger! He's always eager to please the customer!

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Service with a... sharp object.

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We soon learned that our plan to defeat the supervillain had failed. He had escaped our attack, tipped off by the evil Ronnie Raygun! We all pay our respects during his 48-hour warning address.

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I thought buying this would cheer me up. It did, to a point. In the end, however, there was only one way we could relieve the anger after a failed mission.

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:wank

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Right in the eye! I was supposed to add something to that picture, but I couldn't stomach it.

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We had to leave, but not before making sexy ninja Rog promise to take over the mission and try again!

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When his training is complete, Rog will be deadly with the Coke cup lid. His master, Grandmaster Dong, can kill three men in one second with a lid like that! It doesn't work with Pepsi, though! >:

The End!

[ItalianStereotype]

:lol

it would have been funny if you had somebody like ronnie out there in a cape, monacle, top hat, and a waxed mustache trying to foil your plans at every turn.

[Mockery]

EXCELLENT commentary Carnivore. It was a blast having you guys down here. I wish Shyu could've stayed longer, but he's already thinking about visiting again sometime this year, so hopefully he will. You people really need to see the grandfather SMASH in person to truly comprehend and appreciate just how awesome his bowling technique is.

My favorite pics out of the lot are definitely Jaeger's "why are you taking a photo of me HERE" Blockbuster photo and Scooty Bear's pickle-in-the-eye with a lovely expression photo.

Oh yes, but we did manage to take one other photo with our own camera while Carni was sound asleep (awwwwww):

http://www.i-mockery.net/newpics/carni-creed1.jpg
It's widely known that Carnivore is Creed's #1 fan. What I didn't like was how Scott Stapp butted in and asked us to move the sign over so he could... "get to work". Before we could even respond, he shoved us out of the way, and all we could do was capture the footage while trying not to puke.

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I know you like Creed a lot Carni, but that's just taking it TOO FAR

[Carnivore]

It was so nice of you to do all that while I had a fucking migraine! I love you guys, really :(

[Agent Burdock]

It's always great to see you guys! Too bad I didn't get to see you Richmonders though. Another time.

That capeoria is something else.

[feelevil]

:lol

[Mockery]

:lol @ Carni

It's always great to see you guys! Too bad I didn't get to see you Richmonders though. Another time.

That capeoria is something else.

Definitely. Hope you can come visit us sometime, Burdock. You and your hubby are always welcome.

And the capeoria RULES. Those guys practically defy gravity, I love watching 'em do that shit.

[Ninjavenom]

:lol

Excellent pictures. :)

[Buffalo Tom]

The picture of the steak represents all that is great about America. You should never give up the right to sink your teeth into a hunk of barely cooked, blood-dripping beef. USA! USA! USA!

[James]

And the capeoria RULES. Those guys practically defy gravity, I love watching 'em do that shit.

That's what I'm going to be practicing, once I find a place that offers it, and a job to supply the cash for it.

And I'm jealous I didn't get to come down. You guys always seem to have fun. Although I don't mind missing out on the bowling... I haven't bowled since... the incident... :tear

[Jixby Phillips]

YOU GUYS LOOKED LIKE YOU HAD FUN, DID YOU HAVE FUN?

ALSO PROTOCLOWN YOU HAD BETTER SHAVE BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A JERK >: >: >: A JERK NAMED MR MCGARITY >: >: >:

[davinxtk]

Wow, Carnivore bears a striking resemblence to someone I know, whose name is also Jeff. His last name, however, is different.


I think.

[n00bward]

:lol That pic with Protoclown and the pickle made me lol.

[Professor Cool]

Grandfather Smash is my new favorite superhero

[Rev. Danno]

Oh my god...
This posting made me Miss Burdock sooo... so much.
But it was good to see her, & pictures of her, & josh(I know both of them, & I preformed there wedding in a bowling alley in Portland, Or.)
Anyway...Erin looks hotter then the last time I saw here, she'd hate to hear this but she looks more, & more like like her mother (who is so hot I named my Bicycle after her!).
Anyway blah blah blah I miss Erin, & Josh!!!

[Spectre X]

I :lol because of this thread. :lol

[FS]

:lol that was great. I'm proud to see that the pig was there, as well.

[Mockery]

Aye the pig had a good time indeed.

Also, when Carni's done getting pleasure from Scott Stapp, he's going to try to track down a video camera so he can video tape grandfather SMASH working his mojo. I still worry that even the video tape won't do it the justice that it truly deserves though. Still, it's worth a shot.

[Captain Robo]

It's cool that you guys get together like that. :)

[Zomboid]

It's cool that you'll never be part of it :)

[Mockery]

They gotta come down again when Shyu has more time to hangout, instead of having to go the very next day.

[Helm]

Four megabytes of pictures thread alert!

This is a :) thread anyway.

Oh,

we killed all the members of Jerseyboy's family we could find.

There weren't many left to begin with.

[Anonymous]

:lol