Marc Summers
Nov 7th, 2005, 04:16 PM
So...
I had my midterm.
I don't remember when. It was a while ago.
But...
I will never forget what happened...EVER >:
So I'm taking it in the first floor of the computer science building. The hallways and classrooms all have linoleum floors, except for carpeting in the labs. We're all taking our test, and outside the classroom we hear some guys yelling. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded like they were yelling at each other.
OK, just a couple of rowdy frats, right? No big deal.
A few more minutes into the test, we hear this large machine start up. The only weird thing about it was that it sounded like it was moving up and down the whole hallway extremely quickly. I also heard it scraping against walls and doors, which was kinda distracting.
A little strange, but probably nothing to worry about, right?
Then, I smelled something. Kinda like someone had ripped one.
But then it got worse.
OK, maybe they had eggs.
Worse.
Ummmm...really bad eggs?
Worse.
Somebody had to have crapped their pants.
MUCH worse.
It's like a representative who has travelled from the Kingdom of Shit and Diarrhea is here to give us a demonstration of the awesome power of his homeland.
Finally, I had to put down my writing utensil to see what the hell was going on. I didn't care if the TA accused me of cheating or whatever, I just had to find out what the hell was causing this.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something coming in from under the door closest to me, not unlike particular scenes from the 1958 sci-fi horror film The Blob. That is, if the Blob was green.
To my horror, all 3 doors out the room had the same substance slowly oozing its way in. I started to freak, frantically searching for a way out from my seat without sending off any bad vibes. That's when a maintenance guy throws open a door, and lets in the most disgusting, nauseating smell in the history of TIME ITSELF.
Think of how diarrhea smells.
Now think of how urine smells.
The two have intertwined, creating a horrific symphony of offending odor. They strangely go together, like husband and wife, where the bond that they share makes them stronger than just two individuals. It was so overpowering and piercing that there was not a dry eye in the group of helpless students. I tried to put my T-shirt over my nose and hold my breath, but that didn't help all that much. All I could remember hearing at that point were the occasional gags coming from the crowd, and my TA joking around by saying "I didn't do it..." in his thick Korean accent.
"Oh, sorry!" Mr. Janitor exclaims. He quickly uses the mystery machine (Which I identified as a giant wet-dry vac when I saw it) to suck up the liquified shit invading my class. "There's a problem with the bathroom next door!!"
So, after he cleaned up around the doors, and the smell died down a little, I finished my midterm, turned it in, and got the hell out of there. All that was left at the accident scene by the time I was done was a puddle of water coming out of the bathroom, TONS of wet floor caution signs, and occasional brown and green patches on the linoleum floor. I gingerly stepped over and around these biohazards until I reached the exit, thankful that I could breathe once more.
I had my midterm.
I don't remember when. It was a while ago.
But...
I will never forget what happened...EVER >:
So I'm taking it in the first floor of the computer science building. The hallways and classrooms all have linoleum floors, except for carpeting in the labs. We're all taking our test, and outside the classroom we hear some guys yelling. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it sounded like they were yelling at each other.
OK, just a couple of rowdy frats, right? No big deal.
A few more minutes into the test, we hear this large machine start up. The only weird thing about it was that it sounded like it was moving up and down the whole hallway extremely quickly. I also heard it scraping against walls and doors, which was kinda distracting.
A little strange, but probably nothing to worry about, right?
Then, I smelled something. Kinda like someone had ripped one.
But then it got worse.
OK, maybe they had eggs.
Worse.
Ummmm...really bad eggs?
Worse.
Somebody had to have crapped their pants.
MUCH worse.
It's like a representative who has travelled from the Kingdom of Shit and Diarrhea is here to give us a demonstration of the awesome power of his homeland.
Finally, I had to put down my writing utensil to see what the hell was going on. I didn't care if the TA accused me of cheating or whatever, I just had to find out what the hell was causing this.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something coming in from under the door closest to me, not unlike particular scenes from the 1958 sci-fi horror film The Blob. That is, if the Blob was green.
To my horror, all 3 doors out the room had the same substance slowly oozing its way in. I started to freak, frantically searching for a way out from my seat without sending off any bad vibes. That's when a maintenance guy throws open a door, and lets in the most disgusting, nauseating smell in the history of TIME ITSELF.
Think of how diarrhea smells.
Now think of how urine smells.
The two have intertwined, creating a horrific symphony of offending odor. They strangely go together, like husband and wife, where the bond that they share makes them stronger than just two individuals. It was so overpowering and piercing that there was not a dry eye in the group of helpless students. I tried to put my T-shirt over my nose and hold my breath, but that didn't help all that much. All I could remember hearing at that point were the occasional gags coming from the crowd, and my TA joking around by saying "I didn't do it..." in his thick Korean accent.
"Oh, sorry!" Mr. Janitor exclaims. He quickly uses the mystery machine (Which I identified as a giant wet-dry vac when I saw it) to suck up the liquified shit invading my class. "There's a problem with the bathroom next door!!"
So, after he cleaned up around the doors, and the smell died down a little, I finished my midterm, turned it in, and got the hell out of there. All that was left at the accident scene by the time I was done was a puddle of water coming out of the bathroom, TONS of wet floor caution signs, and occasional brown and green patches on the linoleum floor. I gingerly stepped over and around these biohazards until I reached the exit, thankful that I could breathe once more.