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Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:29 PM
i was thinking and it occurred to me that it wold be cool if we all met up and like went to a concert or something. speaking as the newcomer i know i probably sound pretty dumb but i am only trying to get rid of the boredom which threatens to engulf me one of these dark days.......#_# <my custom stoner/manic-depressive face. so if anyone has any get together ideas or is against this one then START POSTING!!!!!!!!!!

CaptainBubba
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:30 PM
Yea thatd be awesome man just come over we could drink and watch family guy and play halo man itd be sweet.

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:35 PM
start working on a location then. spread the word! remember, im also open to objections as well! a good idea would also be for people to say what city/states they live in. for instance, i live in worcester, massachusetts. now the rest of you guys just post your city/states. the city/state with the most of us in it is where we'll meet.

CaptainBubba
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:37 PM
Yea man totally. This is a great idea I cant wait to meet you in person finally. Haha I bet we'll do lots of fun stuff.

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:41 PM
Worcester! Oh my God! That's like right down the street from Raleigh, NC!

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:49 PM
NC? isnt that north carolina?! i live in worcester MASSACHUSETTS! whatever though if its in MA then thats cool^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:55 PM
:lol

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 09:58 PM
whatever the fuck that means^_^

xbxDaniel
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:31 PM
womti, what will your avatar and siggy be?
I ponder in these past few minutes, wondering what you posses.
Potential to be one of the greatest mockers, wit and wisdom, asinine comments, lgoical reasoning, all of this is possible and much more. I wonder, when you leave this board for good one day, will we remember your name?
Best of luck to you on the boards man.

P.S. Thanks for not making a intro thread. At least I think you didnt' make an intro. thread.

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:38 PM
sorry, but i dont really know what an 'avatar' or a 'siggy' are. also, i never intend to be remembered because i never intend to leave^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:38 PM
You make a post asking if any girls are available, then tell us you're homeless, then tell us you're a crazy stoner, and then you want us to get together. You're probably an arsenist.

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:39 PM
yeah and your probably a middle aged dork with nothing better to do than make everyone look bad.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:41 PM
I'm a successful photographer for Playboy. Whatever picture's on the cover of Playboy this month? I took that.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:41 PM
Oh, and whoever's on there, I fucked her, too.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:42 PM
In the vagina.

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:42 PM
yeah sure like i frikkin care anyway#_#

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:46 PM
http://members.gamedev.net/EvilSteve/ThreadStuff/Omfg.jpg

see

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:49 PM
i see that your obviously quite proud of how stupid you look standing topless with your fly unzipped on top of a bunch of dried seaweed......^_^(ugh)

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:53 PM
as a matter of fact i am

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:57 PM
glad your happy. but why'd you wanna show me that? i only like MANLY men. you look like a nerd. is that a live photo? also, where the hell were you when you took it?

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 10:58 PM
i don't know what lead you to believe that was me but i am damn proud of my abs there

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:03 PM
what abs???? all i saw was flab. anyway, im not interested.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:03 PM
that's too bad.

cuz i am. :>

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:05 PM
frikkin net stalker >:

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:07 PM
I'm hiding in your air vents, womti. I know you wake up in the morning and see my saliva glistening on the bars. Do you like it? :yum

Lotida
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:10 PM
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/emo%20emu%20jared%20hindman.jpg

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:10 PM
you know its pervs like you who make me glad that im such a good looking person-CAUSE YOU CANT HAVE ANY!^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:14 PM
thank you lotida

i jerk off in your socks by the way

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:18 PM
awww emu its so sad. i read all the blogs you were in. i thought you were civilized. now i know your just a perv, not a wise old cynic like you always TRY to be^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:20 PM
wait wait wait

what the fuck is a blog

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:21 PM
your in one right now dumbass^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:22 PM
are you using an archaic dialect cuz i'm kind of new to the internet. we usually refer to this as a "message posting forum."

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:26 PM
a blog is a 'bulletin log' its a pretty common internet word, really. go look it up on google. i cant believe you dont know that phrase^_^ anyway are you going to help with the whole get together thing?

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:27 PM
Anybody feel free to disagree, but:
THREAD BACKUPS!

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:29 PM
uh........whats thread backups mean? im new here.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:30 PM
a blog is a 'bulletin log' its a pretty common internet word, really. go look it up on google. i cant believe you dont know that phrase^_^ anyway are you going to help with the whole get together thing?

I looked it up.

I found this.

http://edans.blogspot.com/uploaded_images/kids_internet-705917.jpg

So this 'blog' is trying to steal my soul. I see how it is.

You've been misleading me this whole time.

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:31 PM
"uh........whats thread backups mean? im new here."



That's when your mommy accidently throws her sewing supplies into the toilet, causing it to back up. Duh! :p

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:32 PM
STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY SOUL YOU FUCKING COMMUNISTS :explode :explode

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:32 PM
man emu your a fucking retard........^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:34 PM
HEY AI'M GOIGN GTO SEND AN AGRY LETTER TO THE ADMINS AND YOUR GOING OT BE BANNED MISTER!!!! :die THAT'S GOING TO BE YOU

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:34 PM
irony

Edit: that was supposed to go after womti.

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:35 PM
god damn right it is

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:37 PM
why would the admins ban ME? you joked about stalking^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:38 PM
i wasn't joking

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:39 PM
actually i was

i'm totally hot right now though :yum

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:41 PM
f*ck you guys i'm going to bed

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:42 PM
its not about the joke.... its the STALKING that'll get you banned. if your not joking what am i wearing right now?^_^

Emu
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:44 PM
i told you i'm going to bed stop posting

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:46 PM
good riddance^_^

Seven Force
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:48 PM
man emu your a fucking retard........^_^

Unfortunately, i'll have to second this.

That doesn't make us friends though. >:

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:51 PM
its not about the joke.... its the STALKING that'll get you banned. if your not joking what am i wearing right now?^_^

Well, you're homeless, so i'm gonna bet something that smells like shit. And I'm not even in the same state, much less stalking you!

So how does it feel to have ruined your reputation on the boards day 1, eh?

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:53 PM
uh.....thanks?

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:54 PM
yer very welcome

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:54 PM
what reputation????????????

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:55 PM
exactly

Womti
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:56 PM
what i mean is i dont care how much you insult me because i have nothing to prove^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 5th, 2005, 11:59 PM
That's abundantly appearent.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 12:00 AM
glad you can tell^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 12:02 AM
Alrighty, then. Emu's waiting. See ya in the morning!

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 12:07 AM
bye. dont forget to use a condom!^_^

Chojin
Dec 6th, 2005, 01:16 AM
Hi, I'm an I-Mockery Message Blog admin. What seems to be the trouble here?

Chojin
Dec 6th, 2005, 01:19 AM
Okay after reading this thread, I have this to say: Womti, this is your only warning. Stalking is NOT ALLOWED on the I-Mockery Blog Boards. Do not EVER let me catch you doing this again.

Jixby Phillips
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:48 AM
womti when we get together tommorow this is what it will look like and i'm the one doing the pile driver to you

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/6/62/180px-Piledriver.jpg

where is your god

Jixby Phillips
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:52 AM
hahaha, you are an mental retard

Marc Summers
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:58 AM
hahaha, you are an mental retard
oh the irony...

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:36 AM
http://members.gamedev.net/EvilSteve/ThreadStuff/Omfg.jpg

see
Bow Chicka-Bow Woooowwww

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 02:16 PM
someone please remind me why the fuck i started this string... >:

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 02:24 PM
You wanted a get together.

I mean, really. :rolleyes

;0

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 03:52 PM
yeah, but now that i think of it, no one on this site seems to be worth meeting anyway.....not that i dont like SOME of you guys^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 03:56 PM
no one on this site seems to be worth meeting anyway^_^

It shouldn't have taken so long to realize that. Perhaps if you had, like, read the boards before posting all sorts of crazy shit...

Emu
Dec 6th, 2005, 03:57 PM
what about me let's meet come on

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:00 PM
if you guys want to meet then you gotta start posting city/states so we can figure out where the hell everyone is. didnt anyone read my 'introduction' on page one?????

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:03 PM
Your introduction was long winded and poorly thought out. If you want group anal sex, you should just come right out and say it. I'm sure Emu's all up for it anyway.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:06 PM
in that case why dont i just cancel the whole thing. i didnt really think anyone would be interested anyway..........

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:08 PM
I read your intro. And I think you're crazy. Not for trying to get together, particularly (though it is a pretty stupid idea), but because you're a homeless stoner who wants to... "get together". I'm not usually one to follow stereotypes, but there's just something about your kind that I tend to be cautious about... :chatter

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:13 PM
yeah sure like i was hopin to be the next charles manson or something. and just for the record, im NOT a stoner^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:18 PM
yeah sure like i was hopin to be the next charles manson or something. and just for the record, im NOT a stoner^_^

Don't you dare badmouthe Charles Manson like that. He isn't homeless. Therefore, he is NOT crazy. Unlike you, crazyhomelessstonerindenial. Now take your crazy ass elsewhere! >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:23 PM
Don't you dare badmouthe Charles Manson like that. He isn't homeless. Therefore, he is NOT crazy. >:[/quote]


man what the hell have you got against homeless people? you're the one who sounds crazy.

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:32 PM
You've been here for like a day and have 52 posts!

I live in Northern Kentucky, if you took the time to look at some people's location information you'd know where some of us live. Like Mock lives in Richmond, VA. If we were that desperate to meet him we could easily head up there and ask around. Or better yet, ask him here.

Nobody's going to trust anybody on the internet more than once. I did once and now I have three daddies. :(

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:36 PM
this whole meeting thing is officially cancelled^_^ i can tell now that it was a bad idea from the start and im sorry for even suggesting it.

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 04:37 PM
If anybody is out in northern kentucky though, please let me know. It's lonely in my cabin, nobody replies to the bomb threats. :(

Emu
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:15 PM
^_^

Marc Summers
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:20 PM
this whole meeting thing is officially cancelled^_^ i can tell now that it was a bad idea from the start and im sorry for even suggesting it.

Uh saying that it was cancelled suggests that it was going to happen at first...
wouldn't it?

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:23 PM
'cancelled' means that i now OFFICIALLY dont see it ever happening.^_^

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:25 PM
Since this thread has gone to shit anyway, i'd like to announce that Rosenstern and I are getting engaged.

-_^

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:27 PM
All right... :/ I'm not asian. I hope that won't get in the way of anything...

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:28 PM
Oh? So you're one of THOSE people, huh? >:

Emu
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:28 PM
guys when is the meeting

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:31 PM
I can't believe this shit! You know what?! It's off! The whole thing is off!

I don't even know you anymore. >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:34 PM
i'll marry you sevenforce....im getting a job soon anyway as a machinist so im a good provider and im not one of 'THOSE' people. although i highly doubt your interested anyway :(

Emu
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:34 PM
GUYS WHEN IS THE MEETING I DON'T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY PLAN MY DENTIST APPOINTMENT ON THAT DAY. TEL LME

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:37 PM
there is no meeting i fuckin cancelled it you goddamn retard^_^ now stop asking! >:

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:40 PM
there is no meeting i fuckin cancelled it you goddamn retard^_^ now stop asking! >:

I'm not marrying an asshole. >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:42 PM
bye i gotta go guys im goin back to the shelter i stay at. thy're serving dinner right now so id starve if i missed it. i'll be back either later or tomorrow^_^

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:44 PM
hey im not an asshole; i just dont like emu. hes a pervert, in my opinion. a gay one at that. but if youre not interested then i guess its your choice. oh well :(

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:44 PM
Dammit! Our entertainment left us! >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:45 PM
and just who is 'our entertainment'??? >:

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:47 PM
and just who is 'our entertainment'??? >:

Oh wow :love He's still here! :rock

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:47 PM
I thought you had to leave. :rolleyes

I can't be with a man who doesn't keep his word. I might as well be back in Korea.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:51 PM
i want to leave because they dont serve dinner after 6:30 but i also want to stay and post with you guys. you're all starving me^_^

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 05:57 PM
너는 지독한 d잊k 이다.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:01 PM
i dont speak korean, sorry. i know 1 word and thats 'konichewa' which means "good afternoon". anyway, would you care to translate for me??

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:01 PM
私は喉のあなたの母を刺し、それから穴の彼女の権利と性交した。:lol

Supafly345
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:03 PM
This is a big thread of dogshit right here.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:05 PM
*sighs* why are you making jokes about me in korean? wouldnt they be more insulting if i could understand them? :( / >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:15 PM
ok now i really do have to go. bye^_^

Guitar Woman
Dec 6th, 2005, 06:19 PM
jesus christ

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 07:22 PM
^________^


WHOOOMP!!

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 07:25 PM
Everybody see what happens when GW isn't around to call us assholes and dumb shits. Utter chaos. Utter.

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 07:51 PM
Utter chaos.

Better than Kelly chaos... :/

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 07:57 PM
:lol

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:11 PM
hi im back^_^ and i missed dinner >:

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:12 PM
nobody cares about the latter, and quite possibly the former.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:13 PM
i love you too^_^

sadie
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:19 PM
this thread is like a trail of still-warm puke down the hallway on the way to the bathroom.

xbxDaniel
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:23 PM
Sadie, to be completely honest, you scare the shit out of me.

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:24 PM
its actually more comparable to :puke

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:27 PM
its actually more comparable to :puke

Dude... he learned how to use the real emoticons. Now he's REALLY gonna suck. >:

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:33 PM
hey how do i shut this string down? its all crap.

Guildencrantz
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:34 PM
I am aware that I am really late to this but I am truely interested in meeting you womti.

I am located on a oil rig in the gulf of mexico at the moment, but I am comeing up on christmas break soon and can go pretty much anywhere in the US or mexico.

By the way it is utter coincidence that there is a rosenstern on this bord I named myself guildencrantz before I new he existed.

that rosenstern is guy is an ass I say fucks to him (thats a bad thing)

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:37 PM
sorry theres no more meeting, someone just tell me how to close this thing! >:

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:37 PM
hey how do i shut this string down? its all crap.

THREAD BACKUPS

Chojin
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:49 PM
Sadie's avatar looks like Glowbelly sneaking up on an unsuspecting kid in a school play.

Seven Force
Dec 6th, 2005, 08:50 PM
I'm so sorry I contributed to this. :(

adept_ninja
Dec 6th, 2005, 09:16 PM
sir I think you need to sort out your life, have you found jesus and accepted him as your lord and savior yet? He has died for your sins and to deny him is to subject yourself to an eternity of damnation. Your smelly dirty homeless sins....are they worth the despair you will face once you meet your death?

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 10:02 PM
i have found my own salvation in atheism.......now please fuck off^_^

Guildencrantz
Dec 6th, 2005, 11:31 PM
Oh the heavens frown upon the words of a heathen ignorant to the word of God

Womti
Dec 6th, 2005, 11:35 PM
i do not hear the word of god for no one hath spoken^_^

Rosenstern
Dec 6th, 2005, 11:39 PM
www.coeternalism.com

Let the genius of Sethomas change your life, paganscum!

Guildencrantz
Dec 6th, 2005, 11:48 PM
i do not hear the word of god for no one hath spoken^_^

Duh!
thats why I said you were ignorant to it.

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/ignorant

Guildencrantz
Dec 6th, 2005, 11:49 PM
Sucks to that link
just copy and paste.

Marc Summers
Dec 7th, 2005, 01:03 AM
WHAT?...NO...JESUS...
IMPOSSIBLE

YOU'LL MAKE BABY JESUS CRY :tear

Jesus loves me, this I know, For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong, They are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me,
Yes, Jesus loves me, The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me, He who died, Heaven's gates to open wide,
He will wash away my sin, Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me, loves me still, Though I'm very weak and ill,
From His shining throne on high, Comes to watch me where I lie.

I LOVE YOU JESUS AND REMEMBER 9/11 GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
http://img451.imageshack.us/img451/9559/santachrist3gh.jpg
Little do all these sinners dressed up like santa (anagram of SATAN) know that they are all going to hell for looking at CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.

Womti
Dec 7th, 2005, 02:06 PM
i believe not in god but in myself^_^

adept_ninja
Dec 7th, 2005, 09:42 PM
I dont think you have very much confidence in yourself because you are homless and you want shit like a lap top before a house. As for the girlfriend in my experiences women find houses extremely sexy. For some reason they get all freaked out when you take um back to the shelter and all your bum buddies wanna stare at you and join in the fun.

maggiekarp
Dec 7th, 2005, 09:44 PM
Hot hobo action :9

It'd be kind of silly to see a homeless man next to a garbage fire thingy with a laptop :(

MetalMilitia
Dec 7th, 2005, 09:45 PM
Jesus Christ on a church, this thread sucks.

maggiekarp
Dec 7th, 2005, 09:47 PM
Now I'm imagining Jesus sitting on a church and pretending he's fighting the Red Baron.

Guildencrantz
Dec 9th, 2005, 08:19 PM
i believe not in god but in myself^_^

you self centerd ass

Jesus is the answer to all.

Marc Summers
Dec 11th, 2005, 11:59 PM
IT IS NEVER TOO LATE FOR HALLOWEEN DAMMIT >:


"LITTLE MARIA JOHNSON CELEBRATES SATAN'S BIRTHDAY"
A children's Halloween Story that will scare the HELL INTO You.

Dear Friends Of Baby Jesus,

Let us all take a moment and thank the Lord for this lovely cool snap on this glorious morning.
To me, there is nothing nicer than waking up to a crackling fire in my four season sunroom, a tray
of freshly baked pastries on the buffet prepared by my faithful servant, Laquitia, and my favorite
Limoge cup filled with a piping hot triple espresso. Ah, Thank you Lord, for the blessings that
you have bestowed me. Amen.

Now, seeing as it is highly unlikely that any of you have been rewarded as richly as I, the
Foremost Authority On All Things Biblical, I shall pass along my own blessing to you, a DAILY
BLESSING, so you too will have a little something special to call your own.

Before sending a sulking Baby Jesus out the door with an armful of dry cleaning too be dropped
off, we had shared a wonderful conversation about HELLoween. Now, you all know that this is
the Devil’s birthday and anyone who celebrates this SATANIC holiday is just plain evil. In fact,
the Baby Jesus made a point, that for once, that made perfect sense, “Sister Taffy”, He said,
“You know that I would rather hop back up on that cross again than to say anything unkind,
BUT, all these people who insist on dressing their children up in silly costumes and loading them
into mini-vans to parade them around to strange neighborhoods begging for hand-outs, deserve
the wrath of my daddy. And this year, I aim to talk to him about it”.

Mildly amused by His observance, I told Him, “Baby Jesus, I could not agree with you more. This
practice of “trick-or-treating” is nothing more than a trial run for future generations of welfare
recipients. If a parent wants to see their child running around their home dressed up in a cheap
costume while a in a sugar induced state of frenzy, then they should just buy them some
dime-store candy and not impose it on decent people. However, tearing your Father, the
Almighty, away from important things like preparing the mansions for His chosen people really
isn’t necessary. Let’s put our heads together and see what we, or rather I, can come up with to
nip this situation in the bud without pestering God. And dear, I mean that figuratively. I do not
intend to actually “touch heads”.

We rang for Laquitia to bring us another round of espressos and we prayed for a good solid hour
for a plan that would convince these poor little children and their rather common parents that
trick-or-treating was of the Devil and something that they did not wish to engage in. About
halfway though, I happened to notice that Baby Jesus had His eyes opened and was just about to
chastise Him for peeking during prayer time, when He jumped up and exclaimed, “Sister Taffy! I
have it. You can write a children’s story for the parents to read to them that will not just scare
the Hell out of them, it will put the fear of Hell into them! If anyone can do it, you can and I can
help you write it!”. I told Him to sit back down and be quite so we could finish our devotional
and that then, I would take His suggestion into consideration.

When the timer bell rang indicating that our allotted one hour prayer session was up Baby Jesus
jumped up again and was just about to start in about that silly notion of “us” writing a story
together. I know that’s what He was about to do because I could see it in His eyes. (He always
gets a wild look that reminds me of someone afflicted with Hyperthyroidism when He gets
excited, but I cut Him off before He could begin to worry me. “Baby Jesus”, I said, “I think that it
is time for you to leave now. You have been underfoot long enough and if I am going to write
this story, then you need to leave me in peace. And dear, please have Laquitia give you the
laundry for the cleaners on the way out. And take that scowl off your face. You will get
wrinkles. And another thing dear, have a nice day.” He must have known that I was right because
He stood up took the cleaning and left without incident to compose my very special, “Christian
Children Don’t Trick-Or-Treat” story for you. Please feel free to copy and distribute accordingly
to any parents that you know who are in need of a good children’s story.

“Children Who Trick-Or-Treat Will Suffer”

Once upon a time there lived a little girl, who we shall call, Maria Johnson, who dwelled in a
modest but clean home in a very middle-class neighborhood. Maria’s parents worked very hard to
raise their daughter in a home filled with the love of God and instill in her the moral fiber that she
would require to gain entrance into Heaven at her time of demise. They were good parents with
the exception of one major flaw; they spoiled her rotten. Anything that Maria wanted her parents
would give her providing that they had the means to do so.

Well, last Halloween little Maria came home from school and didn’t stop to play. She said,
“Mommy, I have a parcel here from the Sunny Valley PTA”. There was also a note attached that
addressed a school organized trick-or-treating event on that very night informing Mrs. Johnson
that a school bus would be used to transport the youngsters from home to home in their common
little community. In addition, the PTA was upset that Maria had been acting out because her
parents would not allow her to attend this secular outing. In fact it said in full:

“Mrs. Johnson,

It’s reported that your daughter is a brat who screams and cries. She’s been pulling hair and
breaking things and running around and telling lies.

She wants to go a’ trick-or-treating with her classmates on the bus today. We must insist that she
attend this outing sponsored by the Sunny Valley PTA.

We see no reason why your little girl should be excused from having her some fun. You’ll find a
witch costume for her to wear and the bus will pick her up outside your home.

She’ll be expelled from school and you arrested if she’s not on that little bus today.
We thank you in advance for your assistance.

Signed,

The Sunny Valley PTA.”

Mrs. Johnson had a moral dilemma. She certainly didn’t want to go to prison. But with her
husband away on travel she could not ask him for permission to think for herself. So against her
better judgment, she decided that “just this once” her daughter could attend the outing. When she
told Maria that her Mommy & Daddy would go to jail if they didn’t allow her to go and celebrate
SATAN’S BIRTHDAY with her pagan friends, Maria was thrilled. She snatched her little
costume and ran upstairs to put it on.

When six o’clock arrived, Mrs. Johnson (who had been praying for her daughter’s salvation all
afternoon) called upstairs to her daughter. “Sweetie, come on down. It’s time for that old devil
bus! to pick you up”. Well, a few minutes passed and Maria did not come down. Worried that
her daughter would miss the bus and that she would be incarcerated, she went upstairs to check

on her little girl. But Friends, what she saw when she opened the door to Maria’s room would
cause her to vomit. There on the little white and gold French Provincial canopy bed was her little
girl wearing the witch costume and doing something very UN-holy with her favorite My Little
Pony doll.

“Maria!”, she cried after she had thrown up on the pale pink carpeting, “Stop that! What you are
doing is very, very naughty. I would rather go to jail forever than to see you like that. I am
calling Grandma right now and you will stay here with her and pray that Baby Jesus forgives you.
That costume has brought DEMONS into our home!” It was right then that when the Devil’s
party bus arrived and blew the horn that Maria lunged at her mother and jabbed her in the eye
with the tail of her little plastic doll. “Take that you BITCH!” Maria screamed, “I’m going
trick-or-treating”, and she jumped out the window and ran to the little yellow bus that was
loading all of the little neighborhood children to take them away . Fortunately, Mrs. Johnson,
blinded in one eye but filled with the determination that only her Lord could provide, managed to
pull herself up to go and save her little girl from what she knew would be the bus ride from hell.

Down the stairs she went. She made a brief detour into her husband’s private study and then with
blood pouring down her face and her right eye hanging from it’s socket ran out the front door to
face her daughter. “Maria”, she said to the little witch who was boarding the bus. Mommy is not
happy with you”. Her once sweet little girl, now possessed with demons, turned and faced her.
The entire bus of lost little souls began to laugh and chant when Maria said, “You aren’t dead
yet?”. With tears and blood gushing from her eyes, Mrs.. Johnson pulled the semi-automatic
assault weapon that her husband kept for security purposes from behind her back, raised the gun
and pulled the trigger. Her little girl exploded into a hundred pieces.

“I told you I’d rather go to jail than see you go trick-or-treating”, she said to the bits of her
daughter that lie scattered on the lawn. Mrs. Johnson raised the gun again, and pointing at the
gas tank on the bus, pulled the trigger and sent the entire bus into a fiery explosion, killing all of
the demons trapped inside. Calmly, she went inside and called the police.

Friends, you thought Mrs. Johnson might have then turned that gun on herself didn’t you? Well,
of course she didn’t. Because suicide is a mortal sin! No, the police came and she was taken to
prison for serving her Lord and ridding the world of a bus load of demons. Just like He would
have her to do. The moral of this story is: If you love your children, and you are a decent parent,
you will read them this true tale of what can happen when children trick-or-treat to your own child.
Then pass this inspirational and uplifting tale of a mother’s love and dedication to no less than ten
people. Baby Jesus wants you too. Happy Halloween All!

SlyBattery
Dec 12th, 2005, 04:28 AM
Hey I know you called all this off, but I am new also and want to meet you, lucky!

I live in your microwave. Just stick your head in there and turn the light on.

GADZOOKS
Dec 12th, 2005, 05:19 PM
Your avatar sucks.

MLE
Dec 12th, 2005, 06:13 PM
i don't think that's the sign for sly, and i'm sure there's a better sign for battery.

SlyBattery
Dec 12th, 2005, 09:32 PM
Yea, well that guy in my avatar is very persuasive.

and yea that really is something like clever electricity...but thanks for pointing that out to everyone. Now I look like a complete idiot. I know its not something you guys do over here... but I think you really stepped over the line.

Seven Force
Dec 12th, 2005, 09:34 PM
I think you need to shut up.

SlyBattery
Dec 12th, 2005, 10:02 PM
This place is friendlier than I ever could have imagined

GADZOOKS
Dec 12th, 2005, 11:21 PM
Admit It!

Womti
Dec 29th, 2005, 01:22 PM
What valid proof does anyone have that god exists? you might contradict this statement by saying "what valid proof does anyone have that god does not exist?", but I contradict both of these statements by simply saying "who cares?" either way, life still sucks. ^_^

MetalMilitia
Dec 29th, 2005, 01:26 PM
Life is what you make of it!

xbxDaniel
Dec 29th, 2005, 08:01 PM
Womti, this thread was in the process of dying off as a memory. Why must you bring it back from the dead in a unholy rapture of evil?
Edit:I'm so sorry I contributed to this. :(
Me too.

sadie
Dec 30th, 2005, 09:43 AM
"who cares?" either way, life still sucks. ^_^
see, this is why you've no home.

Womti
Dec 31st, 2005, 10:05 AM
dont you have anything helpful to say??

xbxDaniel
Dec 31st, 2005, 10:07 AM
Stop using emoticons in you posts unless they're funny. Just because it makes you laugh, that doesn't mean everybody will find it that amusing.

BIRTH DEFECT
Dec 31st, 2005, 11:27 PM
i ejacuated on rosa park's head before they buried her dood

Seven Force
Dec 31st, 2005, 11:49 PM
dont you have anything helpful to say??

I thought that was pretty fucking helpful. I think you should be grateful he's trying to help. You ungrateful homeless vagrant fuck.

Why don't you go get a job instead of wasting time on the Internet that hard-working white (collar) citizens like me have to pay for?

Womti
Jan 1st, 2006, 10:29 AM
ok, lets just take your big, huge ego and just put it in a box for a little while. then we can remember that this is MY thread which I bothered to waste my f**king time on. as for a job, I have no id or social security card right now, so I have to re-apply and somehow scrape up $20 for a state id THEN I can get a job so all your goddamn hard-earned tax dollars can go to work. until then, I think I'll stay here, if thats okay with your bitchy ass. I didnt come here to have people post numerous hate comments on my threads when they havent even met me before. >: >:

Seven Force
Jan 1st, 2006, 11:26 AM
I still don't hear you working over there. >:

Seven Force
Jan 1st, 2006, 11:34 AM
You better not post a reply; you go out and get a job because no one wants to meet you. Nobody wants to visit a homeless shelter. It's depressing. Do you want to depress us? What kind of person are you? That's not how it goes down here at I-Mock it's all about the goodtimes and...OH GOD Captain Goodtimes where have you gone? :(

Womti
Jan 1st, 2006, 11:35 AM
fuck off I dont live to please you. >:

MetalMilitia
Jan 1st, 2006, 11:39 AM
He changed his hame to gadzooks iirc

Womti
Jan 1st, 2006, 11:53 AM
I need to also get my GED so that I can join the Marine Corps. and in case tyou dont remember, I cancelled the stupid "group get together" so you can shut your damn trap about how depressing I am and how no one wants to meet a homeless person. you think I want to be homeless??? ever think of that, you self centered bitch?? >:

maggiekarp
Jan 1st, 2006, 01:30 PM
Not to sound mean or anything, womti, but I know that if I wanted to be homeless the first thing I'd do is argue with people on the internet :(

GADZOOKS
Jan 1st, 2006, 06:39 PM
He changed his hame to gadzooks iirc

How dare you.

Pub Lover
Jan 1st, 2006, 08:45 PM
Yeah! How dare you, Stefan? Captain Goodtimes was much funnier than Gadzooks! >:

Seven Force
Jan 1st, 2006, 10:23 PM
And if I remember correctly, GADZOOKS and CG were two separate accounts.

GADZOOKS
Jan 2nd, 2006, 01:43 AM
Yeah! How dare you, Stefan? Captain Goodtimes was much funnier than Gadzooks! >:

banned :lol

The Retro Kat
Jan 4th, 2006, 10:02 PM
I need to also get my GED so that I can join the Marine Corps. and in case tyou dont remember, I cancelled the stupid "group get together" so you can shut your damn trap about how depressing I am and how no one wants to meet a homeless person. you think I want to be homeless??? ever think of that, you self centered bitch?? >:

You ever think that if you finished high school you wouldn't be so homeless? Did you, you self-centered moustache ride.

Jixby Phillips
Jan 5th, 2006, 03:56 AM
womti is a sad sack womti is a sad sack womti is a sad sack

I bet you sleep on a bench and u smell like mcdonalds

Emu
Jan 5th, 2006, 03:44 PM
I need to also get my GED so that I can join the Marine Corps. and in case tyou dont remember, I cancelled the stupid "group get together" so you can shut your damn trap about how depressing I am and how no one wants to meet a homeless person. you think I want to be homeless??? ever think of that, you self centered bitch?? >:

StfU you lier, you dont have the authority to cancel the get together >: IT'S HAPPENING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

Womti
Jan 6th, 2006, 10:18 AM
its frikkin cancelled because I called it and I can call it off. no one even seems to want to come anyway.

ziggytrix
Jan 6th, 2006, 11:32 AM
not cancelled on account of you got a job though, eh? >:

Seven Force
Jan 6th, 2006, 11:33 AM
I wonder who's paying for his fucking Internet access? >:

ziggytrix
Jan 6th, 2006, 11:39 AM
The Boston public library system I'd imagine.

It's great, I've never been able to shout "Get a job, you lazy bum!" at someone over the internet before. What an amazing age this is!