Words teachers said that made you laugh

[mburbank]

Lake Titicaca
Titmouse
Masticate
The Grand Tetons
Uranus

[Dole]

homework

[the_dudefather]

your being held back again

[sadie]

my students think it's funny when i say any variation of "suck" or "crap," which aren't curse words to me.
one was recently complaining because i wouldn't give him credit for his "B," which looked like a "D."
"that sucks," he said.
then i got to use them both AND rhyme! "yes, it does suck that you wrote your 'D' so crappily."

[James]

Sadie, you sound like one of those bitchy teachers that refuse to admit to making mistakes and punish the students for your own shortcomings.

This is why our public school system is failing.

[sadie]

james, you sound like one of those people who make their letters like a hybrid of two to slide by when you really didn't study. talk about blaming others for their shortcomings. sucks to be you.

[ArrowX]

A homly girl in my science class asked why she had so much homework to do (se had been sick for a week before and missed alot)

my teacher replied with "because your fat, and stupid!" then she started crying

[Sethomas]

In second-year French, my teacher was explaining how to make the phlegmatic French "R" sound. "Start to make the 'G' sound, but just notice where your tongue is. When you start to say a word with an R, put your tongue on the G-spot and..."

And then even SHE started hysterically cracking up.

[Guitar Woman]

Masticate

[Gurlugon]

My physics teacher playing ping pong with Indian students and calling them "cheap Jews."

[The One and Only...]

Some rough quotes:

"Other families pick up milk and bread (before a storm), but the {insert teacher's family name}'s pick up beer and cigarettes."

...

"See Jack, you could have used Henry Clay in your life. *WOOAH hold on there honey, don't run over to that other girl just yet... WOOAH hold on there baby..."

- Interrupt to say I'm still friends with my ex.

"Oh, I see, Jack's a playa playa!!"

...

(Talking about polegamy in the early Mormons) "Jack's thinking Mormon."

...

"You know, I think we should call your car the LOVEWAGON. You can get the name painted on the sides."

- I say something about flames.

"Yeah, and you can put in some strobe lights too!"

...

"So when are you gonna give me a ride?"

- I say something about picking up some honeys

"Jack, I'll get so many honeys they'll just spill over to you. Just watch the master at work."

[glowbelly]

jack. you fail life.

[Geggy]

My high school math teacher who walks into class every morning stoned and carrying a large cup of coffee was teaching us basic element of lowest common demoniattor (LCD) and accidently said 'LSD'. The whole class started laughing.

The end.

[ziggytrix]

least significant digit (LSD) is an actual math term, so when you're talking about statistics and rounding, your instructor will no doubt say "you take the LSD and ... " at some point

[GADZOOKS]

My junior high health teacher put a condom on his finger and he said "this feels fantastic"

[eggyolk]

i always got a kick out of the word "penis". just because it is a funny word that you can really appreciate when coming from the mouth of a 60 something year old teacher.

[Dr. Fu]

My junior high health teacher put a condom on his finger and he said "this feels fantastic"

Your junior high health teacher is cooler than MC hammer.

[Jeff The Ninja]

During Gym last year, our gym teacher told us a story of how some handicapped kid got pegged in the chest by a baseball. During the same class, he talked to us about no trying to jump over the Tennis net, he then attempted to demonstrate and had to go to the hospital For a broken Jaw.

[Jixby Phillips]

how about when they read mark twain books and the characters all say "n*gger" oh man

when the teacher says cusses to be funny

when the teacher says something thats behind the times, dont you realize that YOU ARE OLD AND WE ARE YOOOOOOOUNG

when they talk about somebody being fat

[Jeff The Ninja]

how about when they read mark twain books and the characters all say "disreputable person of African-American descent, whom I think is quite nice" oh man

when the teacher says cusses to be funny

when the teacher says something thats behind the times, dont you realize that YOU ARE OLD AND WE ARE YOOOOOOOUNG

when they talk about somebody being fat
When I studied To kill a Mocking bird, my teacher called the foreign exchange student a "Nigga" and his "Homie".

And My gym teacher always made fun of my weight, Good thing that broken jaw shut him up. :lol

And yes, a teacher saying FUCK is funny.

[Orange Juice Bruce]

Saide is my hero. I wish she was my teacher in school. then my days would have been saltier.

[Supafly345]

Saidie sounds like a teacher I would fight with and call a bitch, and then get along with outside the classroom since she would be my track coach or something.

[mburbank]

Not one of those things as funny as a teacher saying Uranus, and then you get to ask questions trying to get him to say Uranus again, and if you're really lucky you can ask if any probes are being sent to Uranus.

[the_dudefather]

when discussing planets in class some jackass said something along the lines of:

"does a brown giant gome out of uranus?"

as far as i remember, no-one laughed

[Slinky Ferret]

My french teacher was french and she used to always swear in french, mainly at the tape recorder. So I learnt how to say "shit" and "fuck" in french. :)

Then I got a really mean french teacher who didn't like me and gave me lots of detentions. :(

As you can probably guess, I didn't really pass.

[James]

james, you sound like one of those people who make their letters like a hybrid of two to slide by when you really didn't study. talk about blaming others for their shortcomings. sucks to be you.

My teachers really didn't give us multiple choice questions. And when they did, we circled the letters/filled in the bubbles instead of writing the letter that we could later pretend was a different letter. But I guess that's the difference between a good teacher and... well, you know.

Kisses ;)

[sadie]

you are so right. the mark of a good teacher is always using bubble sheets. how can i ever go on living, much less teaching?!

in other news, you are a flaming fuck, james. kisses.

[James]

Hey, I'm just saying that if you have kids who try to cheat you out of an extra point on their quiz, wouldn't it be in your best interest to choose testing methods that prevent this?

Unless you're willing to admit it was your fault, and not the student's.


Look. Sadie. You're responsible for molding these kids into the future leaders of America. If you cheat them out of using their full potential and PUNISH them for your wrongdoings, you're creating a new generation that will be filled with stupid people.

And when you're on life support in the hospital, and one of your former students is a doctor who gives you the wrong injection because he was discouraged from proper reading, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

I only say this because I want you to be the best teacher you can be. You owe it to yourself to show these kids what it means to do a good job. I believe in you, Sadie. Just buckle down and start doing the job you get paid for.

[Dr. Boogie]

My American Lit teacher back in high school gave me a few funny words, mostly through his trouble with pronunciation.

Phoebe, pronounced "Foh-bee"
Ambrose, pronounced "am-bro-zee"


I told him the correct way to pronounce Phoebe after class, and he asked me where I had heard that name before. I told him I heard it on commercials for Friends, and he laughed and said that I watch Friends. What an ass.



Listening to him try and read Tom Sawyer outloud was funny, too.

[sadie]

settle down, james. i'm sorry to have touched on such a sensitive issue with you, especially since you have been keeping it on the proverbial down-low here as of late (thankfully). you seem to have some seriously deep-seated issues either with teachers in general or with me in general. might i suggest counseling? perhaps someone special could help you find those sore spots and work them out. though i'm doubtful that it could greatly benefit your whole personality, you never know.

for the record, i despise multiple-choice questions and rarely use them, though my students beg me for them. and for that reason, i not only suggested they circle the correct answer, but also that they write a brief rationale for any they felt were actually too close to decide. the student in question did not choose to take advantage of it, which was not surprising, since he rarely does homework or reads novels or finishes assignments even when give class time.

so there.

[Dr. Fu]

i shat my pants. oh my, sweet relief!

[Chojin]

to be fair, sadie, you're the only one taking the argument seriously :<

[sadie]

touche.

[James]

touche.

And that, my friends, is a word teachers say that makes me laugh. :)

[Wiffle Bat]

funniest thing I heard was in Bio class: Uvula...

[sadie]

And that, my friends, is a word teachers say that makes me laugh.
lol. you are insufferable.

[CheapAlert]

my math teacher said rectum instead of reciprocal once, that was a long time ago

[SUFFER]

my english comp teacher has been around the world and always tells us stories about crazy shit
so someone was talking about monkeys in class one day and my teacher goes
" OH DID I EVER TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT HOW I WAS GANGBANGED BY MONKEYS ?"

Apparently they were trying to attack her for some kind of rattle which she held over her head and the monkeys jumped on her to try to grab it and a few of them started humping her

yes my teacher is very strange .

[James]

lol. you are insufferable.

The word you're looking for is "adorable."