Guinevere Chocolatier

[MLE]

This chocolate is horrible.

I work at Godiva now. I've acquired a skill to taste things in chocolate that I wouldn't have before, so since Valentimes day has finished, I decided to take a trip over to the local Rite Aid to check out their fine selection of 50% off Valentines day chocolate to taste the difference. There are 7 different flavors in this box, and all are bad on a scale from "No thanks, I have plenty of dirt here" to"I'd rather have Epicac syrup"

Before I get into talking about the seperate pieces, I have a word to say about the chocolate. At first, i thought each piece was coated in paraffin wax, but no... this isn't chocolate. Through and through, what it tastes like is candle wax with pure cocoa in it and no other ingredients. If you've never tasted cocoa, go to your parents' cupboard and grab a big spoonful and put it into your mouth. Let me know how much you liked it.

Included in this selection are the following:

STRAWBERRY CREME - Soft, strawberry creme center surrounded by rich dark chocolate
If you've ever tasted a sour, overripe to spoiled strawberry that's just a day too old, then you know what this filling tastes like.
PECAN NUT - Perfect combination of pecans and caramel smothered in dark chocolate
This combination is far from perfect but at least I was able to swallow a small bit of this one.
ALMOND NUT FUDGE - Select pieces of roasted almonds and fudge drenched in dark chocolate
They must have selected the oldest almonds to go in this piece, and I really can't go on more about this one because I had to spit it out before the aftertaste hit.
CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY TRUFFLE - Rich, chocolate raspberry truffle center surrounded by an indulgent chocolate shell
Inside of this is a creamy filling that tastes exactly like a cheap overscented raspberry candle from the dollar store would smell.
ORANGE CREME - Sumptuous orange creme center surrounded by luxurious dark chocolate
The only thing that resembles the taste of orange is the color of the center here. This is one of the more bearable tastes in this box of delicacies, as long as you can stand pure 10x sugar held together by corn syrup. Keep in mind that this is coupled with the wax cocoa mentioned above.
CARAMEL - Soft, buttery caramel trapped in a rich dark chocolate shell
They took the "butter" part of "butter caramel" too far. What I think happened is that they were outraged that butter caramels didn't taste enough like butter, so they set about to create a caramel that tastes exactly like butter. Suffice to say, I commend them on their success.
SIGNATURE MELT AWAY - Delectable melt-away center covered in exotic dark chocolate
The inside of this tastes like dust carefully mixed with cocoa to create the perfect blend of bad. I made Chojin try this one to make sure it wasn't just me. He couldn't keep a straight face either.


An excerpt from the description that came along with it reads:
Their sumptuous combination of exquisite flavors and intriguing textures are sure to make a lasting impression.

I'd have to agree.

[Sethomas]

I never went to a Godiva while in Belgium. My knowledge of European chocolates does lead me to conclude that they double the sugar of anything exported to the Americas. Definitely shouldn't be waxy, though.

[MLE]

It wasn't waxy. It pretty much was wax. I tasted a candle when I was a kid cause it looked like fruit and it looked really real. It didn't taste good, but this tasted a lot like this chocolate did.

PS - Chocolate doesn't need wax in it. It has enough preservatives to last 3 weeks unrefridgerated with no wax.

[cjadthenord]

I've tasted those chocolates, and I have to say that the orange one tastes worse to me. Though I have to say, it actually does taste like orange; the color, not the fruit.

[MLE]

I doubt you're a chocolate connoisseur. Oh, and stop posting so much.

[cjadthenord]

I doubt that you've been able to gather enough information about me to deduce whether or not I am, in fact, a chocolate connoisseur.

[MLE]

That's why I said 'doubt'.

Stop posting for 5 minutes and read the rules and guidelines.

[cjadthenord]

Pfft, what kinda loser reads about rules and guidelines?

Though if I'm actually breaking a rule (and/or guideline), than I'll most likely apologize.

[MLE]

One of the rules is to read them. It's a requirement here, and they're not 20 pages long. Seriously. Stop.

[cjadthenord]

Okay. I'll. Seriously. Stop. Good. Night.

[DALEANDBAMBI]

i try the carismatics chocolates i feel on the space,my husband said you are a big chocolate, mamacita,,,i feel extreme oso,,in sometimes i memories all my married time,my DALE is so macho and he feel very sweet the flavor,,like me,,,thanks a guinevere my DALE its more hot and more excite,,i feel on the sky....thanks bambi and dale

[Goat Cheese]

One time I tried this Lemon white choclate thing. It was magic in my mouth.

[Divisible by Waffle]

Oh god, don't even get me started on bad chocolate. I don't even try filled chocolates anymore, because they almost invariably suck.

[Womti]

chocolate covered cherries and truffles, that's where it's at