Off-topic, from Glow's Thread

[Pharaoh]

No, lack of education isn't entirely all your fault. It's all up to the fucking schools. If the school sucks, that isn't your fault. The school should just get better. Nevermind the option for the parent to send the kid to a better school or home education. Nevermind that parents are failing to hold up their end of the bargain by handing their children over to others, and failing to accept responsibility for their kid's actions. Christ, you make me sick, Pharoah.


I was being sarcastic, you twit. I don't believe any school or diet can make your child a genius. A good education can bring out the best and ensure a child reaches it's full potential but you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear.

[kahljorn]

"A good education can bring out the best and ensure a child reaches it's full potential but you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear."

I guess I'll just ask, what is your standard of genius? What are the qualifications? What do you think 'creates' them? An innately bigger brain?

[mburbank]

"A good education can bring out the best and ensure a child reaches it's full potential but you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear."

'it's' education? Maybe your child is an 'it'. But then, they aren't Jewish, Like Einstein and me. Did you now I was comission by the Boston Museum of Science to write a play about Einstein? That ever happen to you? Didn't think so. Maybe if you were Jewish you'd be asked to do smrt person stuff, but don't hold your breath. You people were born to do the heavy lifting.

[Pharaoh]

"A good education can bring out the best and ensure a child reaches it's full potential but you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear."

I guess I'll just ask, what is your standard of genius? What are the qualifications? What do you think 'creates' them? An innately bigger brain?

Well, a genius is someone of exceptionally high intelligence, like Einstein for example. I think brain size has some effect but mostly it's the quality of brain you're born with that makes a genius.

Do you honestly believe that Einstein was born with the same quality of brain as everybody else? Can anybody be an Einstein, given the same education etc?

[Pharaoh]

Did you now I was comission by the Boston Museum of Science to write a play about Einstein?

No I didn't 'now' you were 'comission' to do that, and I won't hold my breath because I don't want to write a play about Einstein, and I certainly wouldn't want to see a play that you'd written. Did you write all about how his education made him into a genius, or what?

[kahljorn]

"I think the most important thing is stressing that TV is a treat, not a lifestyle."

Yea, that's a great idea. Reward them with bad things, that will set up a great pattern won't it. Drp. then whenever the kid thinks of something "Good" or a treat he wants to earn he will think of tv, while everything else will be a chore to gain tv priveledges. Sorry if I'm being to insulting, but you'd make a shitty psychologist. What do you think sets the pattern of people being so addicted to tv in the first place?
Same with mcdonalds and fast food, they give children toys/treats for a reason.

"Can anybody be an Einstein, given the same education etc?"

Tell me in your own words what Einstein did that was so great? If you start talking about relativity I'll laugh.
If you don't know what makes a genius don't talk about it ;/
And no, I don't believe that at all, because what makes a person isn't only their education but a string of seemingly infinite events in their lifetime and another set of seemingly infinite events that happened before their lifetime, all set relatively to him. I find this conversation ironic.
However, I believe that given an education that meets my approved acceptable super standards everybody could be productive and useful, see below sidenote.
As a side note, i don't really think Einstein is all that special in himself, because he is merely the result of society. Without all the stupid people surrounding him he probably wouldn't have been so "intelligent". Simple mathematics, my friend, you take out any single piece and the answer won't be the same.

[Spectre X]

You know, Pharaoh, Einstein was just good with physics.

He didn't even learn to speak until he was eight or something.

[kahljorn]

"Kahl, you're an ignorant slut. Intelligent, but dumb as a bag of cats sometimes."

This argument is full of information that contradicts everything I said and apparantly makes me look stupid. Please, show me and tell me how I'm stupid. Don't just talk about it, oh serene and mysterious guru.

[Preechr]

I didn't say you are stupid.

[kahljorn]

Do you know what a synonym is?

All I was asking you to do is respond to the content of what I actually said, rather than just expressing the feelings you're getting from the icey cold butterfinger shoved up your candyass.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement
Check that out. You'll see it applies nicely to what I was saying.

[Preechr]

Synonyms for ignorant: benighted, dark, illiterate, nonliterate, simple, uneducated, uninstructed, unlearned, unlettered, unread, unschooled, untaught, untutored ~m.w.com

The word "stupid" does not appear in that entry.

...Just as the word "Einstein" does not appear in your Wikipedia entry.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

"dark"?

That is racist.

[Spectre X]

Synonyms for ignorant: benighted, dark, illiterate, nonliterate, simple, uneducated, uninstructed, unlearned, unlettered, unread, unschooled, untaught, untutored ~m.w.com

The word "stupid" does not appear in that entry.

...Just as the word "Einstein" does not appear in your Wikipedia entry.

"Dumb", on the other hand, is a synonym for stupid.

[kahljorn]

Main Entry: dull
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: unintelligent
Synonyms: addled, backward, besotted, boring, brainless, daffy, daft, dense, dim, dim-witted, doltish, dumb, feeble-minded, half-baked, half-witted, ignorant, imbecilic, indolent, insensate, low, moronic, not bright, numskulled, obtuse, retarded, scatterbrained, shallow, simple, simple-minded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupid, tedious, thick, unintellectual, vacuous, wearisome, witless

http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=ignorant

I was going to post that originally but thought it was annoying to post thesaurus cutouts, but alas, as usual a jackass has shown us the way! I love how it says the Antonym is intelligent when you said I was intelligent but dumb and ignorant. Good old semantics, eh? That's what i thought was most hilarious :lol

Scroll up a paragraph before the einstein thing(and since i realize you're a picky asshole, before the einstein quote as well), jackass, you'll notice a discussion relating to reinforcement. I find it hilarious you can't associate the two and somehow relate it to einstein instead of something dealing with behavior(when reinforcement is part of behavioral science), but thanks for showing me your short-comings.
I wasn't the one talking about einstein, it was pharoh. I was just merely responding in context to try to continue the conversation, which I notice you rarily seem to be able to do. I'm surprised it's not that fucking obvious. You're so smart.

Quit talking to me if you're not even going to respond in context. What happened to the libertarian hero? I remember back a month past, when you had plenty to say. Sure, it was redundant, conflicting and pointless, but still, you had something to say! Now what's this? I'm really losing the little respect for you I had. I look at your recent posts in recent threads and they are just this, a mimicry of people like pharoh(cliche insults and nothing else to say). You're boring.

[Preechr]

Main Entry: dull
Part of Speech: adjective 1
Definition: unintelligent
Synonyms: addled, backward, besotted, boring, brainless, daffy, daft, dense, dim, dim-witted, doltish, dumb, feeble-minded, half-baked, half-witted, ignorant, imbecilic, indolent, insensate, low, moronic, not bright, numskulled, obtuse, retarded, scatterbrained, shallow, simple, simple-minded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupid, tedious, thick, unintellectual, vacuous, wearisome, witless

http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=ignorant

I was going to post that originally but thought it was annoying to post thesaurus cutouts, but alas, as usual a jackass has shown us the way! I love how it says the Antonym is intelligent when you said I was intelligent but dumb and ignorant. Good old semantics, eh? That's what i thought was most hilarious :lol

Scroll up a paragraph before the einstein thing(and since i realize you're a picky asshole, before the einstein quote as well), jackass, you'll notice a discussion relating to reinforcement. I find it hilarious you can't associate the two and somehow relate it to einstein instead of something dealing with behavior(when reinforcement is part of behavioral science), but thanks for showing me your short-comings.
I wasn't the one talking about einstein, it was pharoh. I was just merely responding in context to try to continue the conversation, which I notice you rarily seem to be able to do. I'm surprised it's not that fucking obvious. You're so smart.

Quit talking to me if you're not even going to respond in context. What happened to the libertarian hero? I remember back a month past, when you had plenty to say. Sure, it was redundant, conflicting and pointless, but still, you had something to say! Now what's this? I'm really losing the little respect for you I had. I look at your recent posts in recent threads and they are just this, a mimicry of people like pharoh(cliche insults and nothing else to say). You're boring.

This is why I stopped responding to your posts, kahl. I apologize sincerely for offhandedly remarking that something you said was ignorant. Ignorance is a lack of knowledge of something. Yes, Pharoah mentioned Einstein as a way of saying smart person. You responded by bagging on Einstein. I found your comment ignorant, as in my opinion you don't seem to have enough knowledge in that particular area. I could also say add to that that I find your comments about me ignorant, but I would not wish to once again draw your terrible ire.

See, sometimes I feel bad for judging people. Based on our previous discussions, I had pretty much written you off as incoherent in your own special little way. Your post made me chuckle a bit, so as I sat down to write a response to Glowbelly, I threw a couple sentences your way. I'm also sorry for using an archaic Dan Akroyd reference. I am also sorry for trying to have a little fun with you by being quizzical in my follow ups. I am very sorry for re-engaging you at all, or for that matter questioning my previous judgement of you.

It would probably be best if you also went with your gut concerning me. Just hate me for all the disappointments I have given you, and start ignoring anything I might post here. If you feel like responding to this, do so in a PM please, or start a different thread just for bashing me more, if that would make you happier.

[kahljorn]

"You responded by bagging on Einstein."

I wasn't bagging on Einstein. I was merely asking pharoh for clarification, mostly so we could get down to the definition of Genius. AGAIN: CONTENT, CLARIFICATION, DISCUSSION. How is that incoherent?
'Tell me in your own words what Einstein did that was so great?'
I'm guessing you think that's how i was bagging on him, however, i was basically asking, "what did he do that made him a genius?" Why was i asking? Perhaps I had a followup, or perhaps because i thought it would add to the conversation. When have i ever insulted someone without giving a good reason first? I rarily do, especially if it's in any conversation i find potentially interesting. How is that incoherent?
I didn't talk about relativity because i was bagging, i talked about it because i thought it was ironic because what made einstein is clearly relative to him, no? (He had asked if einstein was made by his education.) I mentioned that later in my post. Thanks for having reading comprehension. How is that incoherent?
Again, you're a jackass. How is that incoherent?

"I found your comment ignorant, as in my opinion you don't seem to have enough knowledge in that particular area."

I didn't make a comment on einstein, really, I asked pharoh a question about it. Then I made a comment about society and how it functions. Again, you're stupid. But please, show me how I don't have any knowledge in the area. How is tht incoherent?

"I am also sorry for trying to have a little fun with you by being quizzical in my follow ups."

Yea geez your responses flew over my head when you were like hey dumb isn't stupid man and i was like hey man i don't get it that's too smart for me please stop quizzing me Mr. Smartman my brain just can't handle it anymore then you apparantly threw in a dan akroyd quote and you know how quotes of washed up celebrities work in intelligent conversations it's like an instant win that's how bush won the debtes right, "Asta la veeeesta baby!" and everyone was like no he didn't! This is kind of incoherent, but purposefully. I hope that's obvious.

"Just hate me for all the disappointments I have given you"
I don't hate you, and i think you're whacky for thinking i would, i just think it's ridiculous that you'd call me stupid without having a good reason, and without contradicting any of the content I actually posted. How is that incoherent?

"Based on our previous discussions"
What do our previous discussions have to do with the relevance of what I'm saying right now? How is that incoherent?

"If you feel like responding to this, do so in a PM please"
No.

I would like to see you respond directly to that instead of avoiding all of it like you usually do. I don't understand why you think I'm incoherent, I generally try to be as simple minded as possible. How is that incoherent?

"I could also say add to that that I find your comments about me ignorant"
Do hold any ideas in your head that someone on the internet who's had very little to no contact with you could be anything other than ignorant as far as their knowledge of your personality and whatever else has to go? I really don't understand this statement at all. In the same respect, you know very little about me.

[glowbelly]

SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU >:

[mburbank]

Phag;

The play included some explanation of relativity, how the theory influenced the developement of nuclear weapons, and examined the relationship between ethics and science. It didn't concern itsef at all with what factors made Einstein a genius, and I'm pretty sure that while people can speculate, nobody has any idea. The chunks of Einsteins brain that made it to biopsy over the years (and that's a hell of a story in and of itself) revealed nothing. Current cience has revealed nothing structurally different about Ensteins brain.

I point to the commision as evidence that I am smarter than you, from my of view. Your point of view syays that statistically speaking, chances are my Jew brain is superior to your mongrel brain. Viewed from my perspective I am your intellectual superior. Viewed from yours, chances favor my being your intellectual superior. Taken together chances I am not your intellectual superior are VERY slim.

Again, as your almost certain intellectual superior, I insist you obey my DNA and abandon your ridiculous, self serving theories. While I'm sure you'd be very good at moving furniture or cleaning up debris, you were simply not born to form opinions. Obey your nature and do as I tell you, and you will naturally be more happy.

[kahljorn]

Despite how I feel about you moving stuff because it's off -topic when both you and Glowbelly aren't exactly guiltleast, AT LEAST leave the reinforcement comment I made in the other thread, as far as behavioral psychology goes; (quote from wikipedia) "The study of reinforcement has produced an enormous body of reproducible experimental results. Reinforcement is the central concept and procedure in the experimental analysis of behavior."

I'll edit and clean it up if you want, it was like one of the first comments I made in this thread.

[Abcdxxxx]

chances are my Jew brain is superior to your mongrel brain.

.....said the half breed to the mongrel.

[sspadowsky]

Say, waitaminnit, Mr. Kettle. Aren't you a half-breed yourself? In fact, aren't you half A-rab?

Kinda brings that whole self-loathing thing to a new level, doesn't it?

[Abcdxxxx]

Holy shit Sppppud, are you the dumbest door knob on the block, or what? Do you think "Arab" is a religion?

[Sethomas]

That has to be the funniest thing you've ever said, and it's too bad it wasn't intentional.

[kahljorn]

I attend my Orthodox halfbreed church every wednesday for half an hour. How about you guys?

[mburbank]

Half-Breed? Who do you think I am, Cher? No matter what other Jews may think, GOD knows I am 100% Jew, through and through.

Both my parents are Ashkenazi Jews, thanks. Unitarianism, which is most certainly NOT a breed, is my personal choice, and as a Unitarian who does not believe in the divinity of Jesus, it impacts my Judaism in now way at all, religously, culturally, and certainly not gentically.


None of which I give the left hind quarter of a rats ass about. BUT, Phagroh DOES, and since he is a mongrel, he ought to recognize that by his own lights I am statistically likely to be his intellectual superior. He will be happier as soon as he stops thinking and devites himself to brute labor for others, which is just what he was designed for, and the onoy thing that will make him happy.

[sspadowsky]

Holy shit Sppppud, are you the dumbest door knob on the block, or what? Do you think "Arab" is a religion?

Say, for a smart guy, you're afwully stupid. No, I don't think "Arab" is a religion, Shecky. I think it's, in the context of this discussion, a "breed." Which is a word that was first introduced to this thread by you, dumbass.

You are half-Arab, half-Jew, as I recall, and that makes you, by definition, a "half-breed." I thought Max was half-Russian and half-Jewish, which would have made you the Pot (although I thought "Mr. Kettle" had a certain charm to it). However, Max is apparently all Jewish, so it just makes you a dumbass.

[mburbank]

HALF BREE-EED!
THAT'S ALL I E-VUH HEA-EARD!
HALF BREE-EED!
HOW I LEARNED TO HATE THE WUH-ORD!

[Abcdxxxx]

100% Mizrahi Jew from the Levi tribe + 100% Ashkenazi Jew = 100% Jewish.

You can be Arabic, Ethiopean, Soviet, or whatever and be 100% Jewish. One can be both a Jew, and an Arab, just like they can be a Christian Arab, or a Kurdish Arab. They're not "half-Kurd, half-Arab" or "half-arab, half-Jew" .

The big confusion over dual nationalities, tribes, and allegiance started with the Romans, and resulted in the cruxifictions. If you're looking to track the roots of anti-semitism, a great deal of it starts there.

I was under the (mistaken?) impression that Burbank has a parent who converted. I hope he wins Best in Show, and Spad starts to credit him with starting the dog/breed analogy in this thread, not me. Try reading Spads. Reading.

[sspadowsky]

Check it again, sizzlechest.

"half breed"

First used in this thread by YOU.

Secondly, I seem to remember you saying a long time ago that one of your parents was Jewish and the other was Iraqi, or something to that effect. Not that it matters to me in the slightest. I just like getting on your ultra-sensitive nerves. And not because you're Jewish, but because you're an ultra-douche.

[Abcdxxxx]

Oh, cool! Sorry Burbank, guess I'm heading to Westminster and getting hit on by Kulture first.

Yeah but Spads, one of my parents is from Iraq. How does that preclude him from being Jewish?

See, it doesn't bother me that you're an imbecile, it just makes me feel bad for Bolt, Beranek and Newman along with all the others who put their blood and sweat into creating a medium where bozos like you can pass themselves off as anything but the mental cripple you are.

[sspadowsky]

See, it doesn't bother me that you're an imbecile, it just makes me feel bad for Bolt, Beranek and Newman along with all the others who put their blood and sweat into creating a medium where bozos like you can pass themselves off as anything but the mental cripple you are.

Are you implying that Jews created the internet? C'mon. We all know it was Gore. Unless he's secretly Jewish.

My point, Mr. 100% Pompous Windbag, was that I think you'll say whatever suits you at the moment, so long as it makes you feel that you're superior to those of us here who give less than a fuck about race, save for in a comedic context. I don't care if you're Scandinavian, Lithuanian, or fuckin' Bangladeshi. You're still a miserable, bitter, roundly hated prick (and I suspect that transcends your intarweb existence), and you're the one who has to live with it.

[sspadowsky]

EDIT!

[sspadowsky]

By the way..... "Dumbest doorknob on the block."

:lol Fucking priceless. I'm also not the sharpest bulb on the wall, and my elevator's a couple sandwiches short of a deck.

Stick with the superiority complex, Shecky, 'cause, my Jebus, don't you suck at the jokes.

[Abcdxxxx]

Oh, right. Good save. Accept everthing I've said pertaining to Jewish bloodlines, and nationalities is consistant. Sort it out on your own time.

If you're going to make a desperate attempt at being antagonistic, at least be original. You're 100% boring.

[Abcdxxxx]

Or maybe you're just 100% unimaginative.

It's not like I already called Max "Shecky" twice in the past week. Don't let that stop you from mocking my jokes...or was it my inability to make one? It's interesting, really, it is.

[mburbank]

You could almost make me an antisemite.

[Abcdxxxx]

some people see lionel richie, and think "black supremacist".

[sspadowsky]

Oh, right. Good save. Accept everthing I've said pertaining to Jewish bloodlines, and nationalities is consistant. Sort it out on your own time.

If you're going to make a desperate attempt at being antagonistic, at least be original. You're 100% boring.

I'm sure you meant "except," and you've been pretty consistent, EXCEPT for the fact that, when you last brought up your father's heritage, you mentioned "Iraqi," but left out the Madahoochi Jew Tribe part, or whatever it was. I don't give a shit. I just like to give you a hard time because you are so goddamn condescending about all things Mesopotamian. You think that no one has a right to question your views.

In short, you're a lot like the 'smug' folks on the new South Park episode who kept sticking their heads between their legs to better enjoy the smell of their own farts.

[Abcdxxxx]

You already took out your teeth when you started sucking off Burbank, it's too late if you're trying to prove how biting you can be.

I know you think you're being some semantic hot shot, but it's completely proper to reference an Iraqi Jew as simply an Iraqi ... so what's you point?

[kahljorn]

This is the funniest thread I've read on here for a while guys, keep up the good work :)

[mburbank]

That 'biting' line? As close to funny as you've come so far, and it was petty pedestrian. The Lionel Richie thing? You might as well use a random word generator.

Tell you what. If I promise not to post anything about Israel, will you leave the jokes to people who can make them?

And waht Sspad and I have is a beautiful thing you will never understand that goes way beyond the question of teeth in or out.

[Abcdxxxx]

Tell you what. If I promise not to post anything about Israel, will you leave the jokes to people who can make them?

Deal....now we've just got to find someone who can make jokes. The closest thing we had to a joke monkey started taking himself seriously. Then there's that problem where you're even less informed then you are funny. If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them.

You can talk about Israel all you want though.

[sspadowsky]

You're a judge of funny? If you can explain that garbled mess of "Lionel Richie" spew, I'll call you funny, and give you five bucks, too.

Nope, wait:
If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them.

Jeez, you're like the blind leading the one-eyed pig with a silk purse.

[Abcdxxxx]

thanks for caring, now work on the sharing.

[ziggytrix]

I know you think you're being some semantic hot shot, but it's completely proper to reference an Iraqi Jew as simply an Iraqi ... so what's you point?

Not when you are talking about ethnicity - it's either disingenuous or incredibly misleading.

As for Max's funny, your sense of humor is so fucking stunted, I'm not suprised you think he isn't funny. But have you seen any of i-mockery.com or even the other boards on this forum? Not that I'd really care to see you trashing them up with your presence, but I'm wondering if you'd find anything there funny, and am morbidly curious as to what that might be.

[Abcdxxxx]

Not when you are talking about ethnicity - it's either disingenuous or incredibly misleading.

go on...what did i say to mislead you?

[ziggytrix]

I don't have the time to dig thru this forum to look for the post you guys are referring to, why don't you do it instead.

[Abcdxxxx]

naw, i care even less then you do.

short of including a braille version for the legally blind, i've gone out of my way in this thread to explain, and re-explain so a two year old could follow along.

[mburbank]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I have a Lionel Richie in my ear.

"If my posts in your threads deflate your venting tube, then stop making them. "

They don't, and I won't.

My point is, you don't know crap about how to be funny. As someone who regularly gets paid to be funny, I feel qualified to tell you, you aren't.

[Abcdxxxx]

who paid you?

[mburbank]

Well, lets see now.

Colleges and clubs up and down the east coast from Maine to key West.

Horse Trade theater , Don't tell Mamas, Boston comedy club, all theaters in Greenwich village.

National Lampoon

A nationally circulating filthy magazine which will remain unmentioned

The Boston Museum of Science (freelance writing work, not my usual job)

Jimmy Tingle, Wendy Liebman, (Well nown comdians) Sam Seigel (radio personality for air America)

Emerson college

And of course, I-mockery (the web site, not the forum) which is now a professional paying market.

A lot of other people and organizations have paid for my comedy and comedy expertise, but I only mentioned the things there was a chance you'd have heard of. I don't expect you to have heard of all of these either, but these are the lead on my resume.

I don't make enough to support a family on, (mortgage, health insurance, car payments, etc.) so it's in addiition to my steady full time job, but I did live of the income when I wa single. And things have ben pretty good the last couple of years, netting me more than $10,000.00 each year.

[ziggytrix]

That wsn't very funny Max. If you were a REAL professional, that would have been a funnier reply.

[Abcdxxxx]

That's kinda what I was thinking. I totally handed it to him on a silver platter too. good for you though. no wonder your work here at the i-mockery forums is suffering. tell you what, i'll find my sanity once you retrace your steps and locate where you left your funny bones. i wasn't the first to make a "dude you used to be funny" post. you might want to start in your therapists office, right under his perscription notepad. it sounds like you have pills on the brain.

(Okay, i'll admit it, i did laugh a little at Don't tell Mamas)

[ziggytrix]

"your work here at the i-mockery forums"

You really ARE unaware that this website consists of more than just the forums! :eek

[Chojin]

"i remember when i first got paid to mock" -BAPE

[mburbank]

What was 'kinda what you were thinking'? That I have a decent resume? That I can't support myself on comedy alone? That I'm not famous? Most people out of the toddler years don't expect other people to know what tey mean if they don't express it. I don't now what you mean.

I'll guess you meant Ziggy's post, which he actually did mean to be funny. You saying it's what yopu meant, and taking it seriously would be stupid. You trying to be funny by pretending to take it seriously would be a muddy, unfunny non responce.

I was answering your question, with no attempt at humor. Would you ahve been btter pleaed if you'd asked where I'd wroked and I said "Up your mother's ass, and if I had it to do over I wouldn't bother with the overtime?"

I'm establishing my bona fides, looney boy. If I was a plumber I'd be in a position to tell you not to wash coffee grounds down your drain. As a comedian, I'm advising you to stay away from humor. People have no idea what you're talking about. That's generally a bad sign if you're trying to be funny.

[Abcdxxxx]

I was reading your deep analysis ...and then I got distracted when the mailman arrived with a check from Comedy Central. It was adressed to Funny. There's another one on the way from Cartoon Network for a script polish on a friends show. I get by.

Uh, and Ziggy, while we're all in anylsis joke breakdown mode - I was insinuating Burbank posts to these forums like it's his fucking job. His posts rarely make me laugh anymore, and I feel ripped off. Maybe he should stick to singing showtunes at super clubs.

[sspadowsky]

Listening to you explain a joke is like listening to a six year-old try to explain the laws of thermodynamics.

[Dr. Boogie]

I was reading your deep analysis ...and then I got distracted when the mailman arrived with a check from Comedy Central. It was adressed to Funny. There's another one on the way from Cartoon Network for a script polish on a friends show. I get by.

:submarineletter

Seriously, though, what did you mean when you said that the check was addressed to Funny? I mean, I got that you were trying to prove that people will pay you for the sense of humor that you'd rather not show us, but what did you mean by the letter being addressed to Funny? Were you implying that "funny" is your middle name? Were you trying to say, in a jocular fashion of course, that you are the personification of Funny?

[Abcdxxxx]

I meant I'm just funny looking.

[mburbank]

That was funny.



If you are a paid professional comedian, more power to you. AND I applaud your ability to keep business and pleasure separate. I'm just noit sure which is which. But don't be disapointed in me. We're both here gratis, and I'm pretty sure you've never once been the least little bit funny. By your own admission, I rarely make you laugh anymore, which means they used to make you laugh.

If you pay me, I promise to make more of an effort to make you personally laugh. It would be a challenge.

[kahljorn]

My guess is that he's the type who really enjoys a good penis joke.

[VinceZeb]

That was funny.



If you are a paid professional comedian, more power to you. AND I applaud your ability to keep business and pleasure separate. I'm just noit sure which is which. But don't be disapointed in me. We're both here gratis, and I'm pretty sure you've never once been the least little bit funny. By your own admission, I rarely make you laugh anymore, which means they used to make you laugh.

If you pay me, I promise to make more of an effort to make you personally laugh. It would be a challenge.

Pose naked. It would give you the biggest laugh you would ever get.

[mburbank]

"The website you have requested has been cancelled."
-Catholic Samurai