View Full Version : Retard hillbillys on the news (I know them, big shock eh?)
Courage the Cowardly Dog
Apr 19th, 2006, 06:26 PM
So my buddy Travis (we live in the same trailer park) was gonna get a kitten from his sister in law. And she was moving out.
The landlord (lets call him Jimbo for the story) and his inbred buddy (let's call him Ned) took his key went in and grabbed some crap to hold in hock for rent. He saw a momma cat and 4 kittens. A neighbour said "if they abandoned them I'll take them to the humane society" they werent abandoned but the owners at work/school for the past 4 hours, anyway Travis comes in to move a couch and finds blood all over the floor and splattered on the stairs.
Jimbo and Ned figured they should have some fun and "put them out of their misery" the excuse they used since the state no longer excepts "thin out the numbers" and "they're coming right for us"
He beat them to death with a baseball bat or hammer, and beat the dead bodies by swinging them against the stairs to make sure they were dead (plus they make a cool squishing sound)
So they called the humane society, who said to call the prosecuter, who called the local CBS news people, who propmtly showed up with a camera crew to do interviews of them and the little girls who owned the cats.
Long story short, I doubt the redneck is getting his lost rent, and he may make the news tonight.
GADZOOKS
Apr 19th, 2006, 06:36 PM
it was sicking put my babysitting kids.i had to give it away :oao
BlueOatmeal
Apr 19th, 2006, 06:48 PM
Thats terrible :( I always heard stories in high school of some dumb hicks killing little kittens and puppies and it made me sick.
Acidlump
Apr 19th, 2006, 07:02 PM
yeah everyone in my town always talks about how many kittens they kill over the weekend it makes me very angry
Sethomas
Apr 19th, 2006, 07:25 PM
One of my teachers in high school, in a section in sociology class, told me about a high school acquaintance of his. He went to a barn and found a litter of kittens and stole them. He buried them all up to their heads in a yard, then proceeded to run them over with a lawn mower.
Terra
Apr 19th, 2006, 07:33 PM
Yeah, sick midwest mentality. No wonder 95% of them intermarry. Even the hobos wouldn't be caught dead with a midwesterner.
MetalMilitia
Apr 19th, 2006, 07:41 PM
aww poor kitties :(
Sacks
Apr 19th, 2006, 09:36 PM
One of my teachers in high school, in a section in sociology class, told me about a high school acquaintance of his. He went to a barn and found a litter of kittens and stole them. He buried them all up to their heads in a yard, then proceeded to run them over with a lawn mower.
Did you sock him in the mouth? Or at least question the size of his manhood?
executioneer
Apr 19th, 2006, 09:38 PM
it was an acquaintance of his teacher, not his acquaintance
Sethomas
Apr 19th, 2006, 09:43 PM
Last my teacher had heard, this acquaintance was in jail for homicide. So, no, I did not retrieve his name and whereabouts that I should visit him in prison to assault him. Though, the entire Sociology class did agree that his manhood was very small, and that he had killed the cats purely out of resentment for his small member. We were all quite sure that he would have been very taken back if he had been there to hear us.
Acidlump
Apr 19th, 2006, 10:31 PM
wow that lawnmower one is really bad the worst i have heard is a suitcase behind a four wheeler and feeding them lighter fluid in milk and lighting them on fire... sometimes i want to just hurt people because of the things they do to animals it makes me really mad
RaNkeri
Apr 20th, 2006, 04:25 AM
Aww shit, even hell is too good for people who whack kitties >:
fuckers! Now i'm sad :(
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 07:55 AM
Yeah, sick midwest mentality. No wonder 95% of them intermarry. Even the hobos wouldn't be caught dead with a midwesterner.
Hey, speak for yourself. The midwesterners that I know don't dabble in the incest business and are great people.
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 10:24 AM
Yeah EVERYBODY I know doesn't pull that crap but every once in a while when I go back into the hoots and hollers to shoot elevations for contractors, I get a gander at what lives back there. It's THESE people that make the headlines out here. >:
DeadKennedys
Apr 20th, 2006, 10:28 AM
If I ever caught someone hurting a kitten I'd kill them with my bare hands. Nothing makes me angrier than people pickin on kittens >:
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:18 AM
Yeah EVERYBODY I know doesn't pull that crap but every once in a while when I go back into the hoots and hollers to shoot elevations for contractors, I get a gander at what lives back there. It's THESE people that make the headlines out here. >:
So basically this is something that you deal with out in the middle of hicksville because in my neck of the woods we don't deal with the cast of Deliverance.
sadie
Apr 20th, 2006, 12:53 PM
He buried them all up to their heads in a yard, then proceeded to run them over with a lawn mower.
one of my students several years ago was bragging about having done that to his own family cat. :( i had to go talk to his guidance counselor.
Esuohlim
Apr 20th, 2006, 01:44 PM
Yeah, sick midwest mentality.
Yeah OK Terra with your "midwesterners this" and "midwesterners that" well I live in one of the richest counties in the country jerk speak for yourself yeah that's right i'm steamed now
Girl Drink Drunk
Apr 20th, 2006, 03:53 PM
I couldn't blame this all on midwesterner's or shit, but anybody that does that to kitten's should be thrashed within an inch of their life.
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:05 PM
Agreed.
I remember a story that my ex-girlfriend told me. She said that when their cat unexpectedly had kittens her dad rounded them up in a burlap bag and then threw the bag in the pond behind their house. He's really a nice guy though.
executioneer
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:07 PM
well he probably felt terrible about it then and didn't brag about it to impress people
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:10 PM
He's a vietnam vet so I cut him some slack.
One time the ex told me that she kept leaving a desk drawer open all the time so he took the desk outside and hacked it to pieces with an axe.
Guitar Woman
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:13 PM
I think he's a violent lunatic who needs to be shot right now.
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:14 PM
Yuh, they still do stuff like that here. Being vets and all, we cut them lots of slack. Otherwise it'd be US they'd hack up. :)
maggiekarp
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:14 PM
Hey how about we fill these with kitten horror stories to make everyone feel great
Sometimes newborn kittens heads fall off :(
One time the ex told me that she kept leaving a desk drawer open all the time so he took the desk outside and hacked it to pieces with an axe.
See, that's the good kind of crazy
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:15 PM
Yuh, they still do stuff like that here. Being vets and all, we cut them lots of slack. Otherwise it'd be US they'd hack up. :)
:im a hacked up piece of fish if my uncle ever caught me saying that :chatter
Guitar Woman
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:15 PM
well to be fair she was a stupid lazy bitch for just leaving the drawer open when she was done with it
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:16 PM
I think he's a violent lunatic who needs to be shot right now.
Trust me when I say he's a nice guy who has never hurt anyone. He's a kind and caring person who has some rare outbursts of anger. Other than that he's a respectable hard working guy.
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:18 PM
But so are a lot of people in Deliverance country! :(
Guitar Woman
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:18 PM
I'm questioning your definition of "nice guy" if you're talking about someone who drowned a bunch of kittens, as opposed to putting them up for adoption when they were weaned so he could spread the love.
Also, didn't you say he was a vietnam vet? He must have hurt someone while he was over there.
maggiekarp
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:22 PM
They might have died anyway, really. Drowning might be considered a more humane death than other bad stuf, y'know. And I think it used to be a common practice, now that I remember an old Tom & Jerry cartoon where Tom died and was in front of Heaven's gate and the other cats in front of him were run over or something, and there was a wet sack of kittens :(
I wouldn't drown kittens, though.
[edit]GW, hurting someone in war is a hell of alot different than hurting someone in everyday life.
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:22 PM
If you consider maintaining a fighter jet as hurting someone, then he is guilty as charged and we need to muster together a group willing to string him up and serve him juistice.
Terra where I come from we don't associate with you Deliverance folk. Now if you excuse me I have a date with a debutant right now.
maggiekarp
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:24 PM
Wait, why would maintaining a fighter jet make someone crazy?
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:24 PM
Well have lots of fun! And stay away from dem kitties!! :)
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:25 PM
Wait, why would maintaining a fighter jet make someone crazy?
Just join the Air Force and you'll get your answer.
Guitar Woman
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:28 PM
hurting someone in war is a hell of alot different than hurting someone in everyday life.
ever hear of the ten comandments
well
they say you shouldn't kill or hurt people no matter what
And Whiterat, why didn't you say he was in the air force earlier? It would have explained a lot. >:
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:31 PM
I didn't think that the branch he was in really mattered.
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:32 PM
My father used to rig chutes in Vietnam. When something happened and a chute failed, the military made sure they were out there to examine the remains. It haunted my dad and he talked about all the time. One time the military brought in boots of somebody who had hit the ground standing up. Everything that the jumper was, remained in those full boots. I can only PARTIALLY-FRACTIONALLY imagine what haunts those men that service life or death equipement.
I don't justify kitty killing. But I can't imagine what the military goes through and what I hear from my uncles and my father, is filtered for decorum. It has to be hell.
Guitar Woman
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:34 PM
I didn't think that the branch he was in really mattered.
Do you even know anything about the air force? Excluding the guys that terra's talking about, they're the shittiest uptightest pussiest and most retarded branch of the army (I guess you could say they just plane suck, haha). If I had such a terrible job I'm pretty sure I'd be a violent maniac too.
I wouldn't kill kitties though :(
WhiteRat
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:37 PM
Granted I haven't been to Iraq yet and I have it fairly easy here in Japan but things aren't exactly peechy keen all the time. I don't think people realize the sacrifices that one makes when they join the military, especially when they are overseas. You are basically leaving your life behind as well as in the hands of the government.
That's why I respect everyone in the military, even the cooks who serve me my scrambled eggs at the chow hall.
Terra
Apr 20th, 2006, 11:45 PM
How long have you been in service White Rat? Are you to be going active soon?
maggiekarp
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:14 AM
I'm doing an assignment online on subject/verb agreements and this question came up:
Which sentence uses correct subject/verb agreement?
A. The kittens that crawled out from under the abandoned car was shivering.
B. Most of one kitten’s fur were covered with grease and grime.
C. The rest of the kittens in the litter was clean, but wet.
D. The parents of the litter were nowhere to be found.
I hate quizzes with depressing questions :(
Guitar Woman
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:15 AM
No offense, but how fucking old are you, 12?
maggiekarp
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:20 AM
No, our teacher had a review on this stuff to see if we could just skip it, but alot of the other students didn't get good scores so the whole class has to do stuff so we can see what we need to study.
[edit]You're never too old to feel sad about cold little orphan kittens >:
Guitar Woman
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:23 AM
How the fuck did they get bad scores on a fifth grade level grammar quiz? Is your class completely retarded or something?
maggiekarp
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:27 AM
There were trick questions
How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm not judgemental >:
Guitar Woman
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:28 AM
Why not? It's fun :o
sadie
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:29 AM
you've obviously not been paying attention to the grammatical skills of the internet users around you.
Guitar Woman
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:30 AM
Only because I haven't the courage to venture out of the safety of I-Mock.
maggiekarp
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:32 AM
Huh, maybe the fact that most of the girls in the class have Myspace pages might account for that, huh?
I've read them, they cannot type :(
Guitar Woman
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:36 AM
When I take over the universe every MySpace page will be destroyed immediately! With the exception of willie's, of course.
Terra
Apr 21st, 2006, 12:37 AM
Coz he has teh purty eyes.
WhiteRat
Apr 21st, 2006, 04:55 AM
How long have you been in service White Rat? Are you to be going active soon?
I've been in for about a year and have been here since the first week of October.
Right now it's looking that my window of opporatunity is January 07. That's what i've been told by my supervisors although i'm trying to volunteer to go earlier because of some conflicts with family events back home during that time.
Trash
Apr 21st, 2006, 11:22 AM
I once killed a kitten on total accident. I was just driving to the city, when i heard a horrible sound. And when i went to check it out, i saw a kitten with it's head completely smashed by my tire. I felt horrible. At least (i pray) it had a quick and painless death.
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