You know what I just noticed about the bible?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Theres no humor. If there was I missed it. No jokes, or puns or anything. Kind of wierd but maybe Im talking with my head up my ass.

[kahljorn]

actually there's a few parts that make me laugh, but first I have to say this thread made me laugh because you posted it in the time I went from the forum index to here so i was all like, "man he must've just figured it out!"

The part about how if you don't marry your dead brother's virgin widow you will be fined one shoe is pretty funny.

I think the burning bush is funny but that's mostly because I saw a book once that said, "The bush still burns" and it sounded like it was talking about some kind of Pubic Rash you know the kind the STD KIND.
I find "I am that I am" a hilarious statement for God to identify himself with.

[Sethomas]

"When he asks for an egg, do you hand him a scorpion?" (The gist of Luke 11:12)

That mental image cracks my shit up every time when I hear it in mass.

[Spectre X]

You can't make an omelette without breaking a few scorpions.

[El Blanco]

There are a few puns and jokes, but a lot of it is cultural. They don't make sense to us.

[AChimp]

The Song of Solomon gives me a hard-on every time I read it. There's nothing like God-sponsored pornography!

[Jeanette X]

Theres no humor. If there was I missed it. No jokes, or puns or anything. Kind of wierd but maybe Im talking with my head up my ass.

Judges 3:12-24 is extremely funny.

12 Once again the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD, and because they did this evil the LORD gave Eglon king of Moab power over Israel. 13 Getting the Ammonites and Amalekites to join him, Eglon came and attacked Israel, and they took possession of the City of Palms. [d] 14 The Israelites were subject to Eglon king of Moab for eighteen years.
15 Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab. 16 Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a foot and a half [e] long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man. 18 After Ehud had presented the tribute, he sent on their way the men who had carried it. 19 At the idols [f] near Gilgal he himself turned back and said, "I have a secret message for you, O king."
The king said, "Quiet!" And all his attendants left him.

20 Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his summer palace [g] and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, which came out his back. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. 23 Then Ehud went out to the porch [h] ; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.

24 After he had gone, the servants came and found the doors of the upper room locked. They said, "He must be relieving himself in the inner room of the house." 25 They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead.

:loo :lol2

[Chojin]

I am particularly upset by the lack of colorful showtunes.

[Sethomas]

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)

[MLE]

hahahahaha

[sloth]

hahaha, amazing!

[ziggytrix]

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.
(2 Kings 2:23-25)

Oh my God. All this time I never realized that was supposed to be just a joke!

[Juttin]

:lol


My life is complete, now :)

Besides for the Hardcore Athiesm


Yep.