How To Be A Conspiracy Theorist

[Grislygus]

Are you a conspiracy theorist? Do you have problems getting the "sheeple" to believe you? Fear not, for the measly sum of one college credit, you can completely revamp your delivery style!

YES! It's true! You can join the nationwide movement and reinvent yourself, all through using a standard English education! But don't take MY word for it! Here's a taste of what an English writing class can give you!

Logical Fallacies are errors or flaws in reasoning. Although essentially unsound, fallacious arguments seem superficially plausible and have great persuasive power. Fallacies are not necessarily deliberate attempts to decieve readers. Writers may introduce a fallacy accidentally by not examining their own reasons or underlying assumptions critically. Here is a summary of the most common logical fallacies (Listed Alphabetically).

-Begging the question: Arguing a claim is true by repeating the claim in different words (sometimes called circular reasoning).

-Confusing chronology with casuality: Assuming that because one thing proceeded another, the former caused the latter (also called post hoc, ergo propter hoc).

-Either-or reasoning: Assuming that there are only two sides to a question and representing yours as the only correct one.

-Equivocating: Misleading or hedging with ambiguous word choices.

-Failing to accept the burden of proof: Asserting a claim without presenting a reasoned argument to support it.

-False analogy: Assuming because one thing resembles another, conclusions drawn from one can also apply to the other.

-Hasty generalization: Offering only weak or limited evidence to support a conclusion.

-Overreliance on authority: Assuming that an authority is true simply because an expert says so and ignoring evidence to the contrary.

-Oversimplifying: Giving easy answers to complicated questions, often by appealing to emotions rather than logic.

-Slanting: Selecting or emphasizing the evidence that supports your claim and suppressing or playing down other evidence.

-Slippery slope: Pretending that one thing inevitably leads to another.

-Sob story: Manipulating readers' emotions to lead them to draw unjustified conclusions.

-Straw man: Directing the argument against a claim nobody actually makes, or agrees that is very weak.

Contact your local college now!

[adept_ninja]

Not every conspiracy theory is false and not all of them are crazy shit like the governtment controlls people through the use of flouride. If you dont believe that the government has ever done anything that is wrong and lied about it your stupied as hell.

[Grislygus]

Congratulations on completely missing the point.

[adept_ninja]

eh didnt read that very carefully I see what your saying now. Also on a side note writing papers where you have to include shit like genitic Fallacies and other logical Fallacies is a pain in the ass.

[sspadowsky]

That's got nothing to do with conspiracy theories. Shit, everything listed there sounds like part of every discussion on this board.

[Grislygus]

It has a LOT to do with conspiracy theories, but I will admit that much of this forum uses them.

The main reason I posted it is because Geggy's and Ranxer's arguments tend to irritate me, and I couldn't really figure out why. After seeing this little gem:

what's the latest? 14 seconds? no not free fall, uniform but yes there was some resistance to being pulled into its footprint, you're correct.

I got extremely pissed off, because it was pure doubletalk (as I stated), but I couldn't think of any technical terms for it, therefore I couldn't aptly criticize it.

So, I poured through my college writing text and found what I was looking for. Ranxer was equivocating to try and dodge the fact that he had previously been proven wrong (or so I assume. The "why am I going over this again?" bit seemed rather telling).

As I went through the logical fallacies, it struck me that they composed almost all of the 9/11 conspiracy "facts" that I've heard on this board. Every argument given is long, deceptive, and deliberately convoluted (far more than any arguments on other subjects, even more so than other political arguments).

Hell, we could have a freaking "Geggy Scavenger Hunt" forum event. The first to find five examples of each logical fallacy wins.

As I've said before, I'm a conspiracy theorist myself (JFK), so bullshit like this gets under my skin. That's how I managed to get myself into that dumb "validity of opinions in arguments" debate.

[kahljorn]

lol i think you had that argument with me ;O

yes if you went through this board you could find all types of logical fallacies. Finding five of any of those would be pretty easy.

[Grislygus]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was with you. I'd love to find the thread again, but there are so damn many 9/11 conspiracy and/or related-to-the-conspiracy threads, I don't even know where to start.

[kahljorn]

i knew it would be on page three because I'm made of magic!!!

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=23284&start=0

[Grislygus]

How the hell did I go from 'rational' to 'completely half-cocked' in so little time?

[kahljorn]

i dont know i have that effect on people sometimes :( probably because I'm frustrating and redundant if i think there's a point to be made.

lol that was actually kind of a fun argument there were some funny jokes in there but i don't know why you thought i was a conspiracy theororist.

[Grislygus]

I think it was because you were defending Geggy at all, a costly assumption. I also made the assumption that Geggy would fend for himself in his argument with El Blanco, which was a completely crippling assumption.

[kahljorn]

i know alot of people like geggy "lots of energy" and motivation but no focus or direction. Mostly I'd say he lacks direction but sometimes he seems like he just has too much energy-- like his mind is moving too fast such as add people or schizophrenics or somebody who just performed strenuous exercise or somebody who's being emotional.
you didn't look that halfcocked though. Maybe completely tenth cocked or something.

[FartinMowler]

what if you found out that certain things could have been prevented by secret groups watching certain people but they didn't because they didn't want to infringe on people's privacy.

I've had a few unfair things happen to me and years after certain goverment dealings seem to go too smoothly as though I was being compensated for there mistakes...do you think this is possible?

[Courage the Cowardly Dog]

I read this in my politics class last semester. It's funny to watch for it in political speeches. I wish more people could see those things and apply it to real life.

[Geggy]

Threads like these are annoying :/

I think you're confusing conspiracy theories with opinions.

[Grislygus]

The topic here is persuasive writing, in particular conspiracy theories, idiot.


That's another thing that pisses me off. If there's an argument you can't fight, you throw logic out the window and belittle it in any way you possibly can. People like you are the reason Bill O'Reilly is popular.

[Geggy]

Or it could be the people like you that is the reason bush administration is getting away with these things. It works both ways.

You have the advatange in your argument because it is the official story which is (or was) widely believed.

[Archduke Tips]

The answer is that evil Thomas Edisson's ghost controls everything.

[kahljorn]

lol at geggy.

[Grislygus]

Or it could be the people like you that is the reason bush administration is getting away with these things. It works both ways.

You have the advatange in your argument because it is the official story which is (or was) widely believed.

No. If the government is actually doing anything, it is people like YOU who will let them get away with it.

You see Geggy, you and I have specific personalities. My personality makes me skeptical of arrogant cocks. My personality makes me pick and worry at arguments from any source, and any ideological background.

This makes me an asshole. However, it also means that I can be swayed by logical, grounded, and HONEST arguments, regardless of what I want to believe.



Your personality causes you to believe what you want to and dig up any argument that might help you, no matter how illogical or ridiculous it is. People like YOU make up the majority of conspiracy theorists, people like YOU have helped further the stereotype of tinfoil-hat-wearing crazy.

You are the child at the playground who loudly squeals that Eminem is the best musician ever, and then covers his ears and sings loudly if someone disagrees.

You are the inbred conservative redneck who thinks Harry Potter promotes drug abuse.

You are the liberal hippie douche who thinks that anyone who says "illegal immigrant" rather than "undocumented worker" is a racist.

You are the republican who thinks that Newt Gingrich is always right.

You are the democrat who thinks Ted Kennedy is always right.

You are a follower.

[RectalWart]

I have just officially become the president of the Grislygus fanclub!!

You are my hero!

Do you wanna do my sister?

[Grislygus]

In all fairness, my humor and intelligence is completely sporadic. You need to be a fanboy of someone who's consistently funny... like Gadzooks, for instance.

[RectalWart]

It's not about the humor...I just want to be your bitch. :)

[thebiggameover]

like the governtment controlls people through the use of flouride.

i totaly get the uk now....