Oh my God

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Seeing as this has to do with my dick I thought it should be in loveline. If Im wrong then sue me. But here goes

So Im behind G building at school with my friends doing some extreme walking. My friend Corey comes by and Im gonna mess with him. I tell him to come here and he does. I squirrel tap him to say hello. At this point for me I moved in a really wierd position so I got my pubes stuck in my zipper. Corey didnt like getting hit in the nuts and responds with a "Hey Austin!" and kicks my cock. MY HAIR IS RIPPED OUT. I scream because it hurts so fucking bad. The bell rings and I go to my classes. I ignore the pain and it eventually goes away. Fast forward to this morning. I roll over to my stomach after I wake up and flich with pain. Im thinkin "what the fuck??". I undo my boxers look down and notice I was wrong about yesterday. It wasnt hair... It was SKIN. I now have a cut on my cock. Now I walk funnier than I did before. Holy shit ow. Its painful if I shift the wrong way. Its been like this all day. Great. Hopw you guys are laughing at me now :(

[Juttin]

:lol Split-dick

[MetalMilitia]

You could try some of that spray on bandage stuff.

http://static.flickr.com/52/120234629_f943008956_m.jpg

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Ill try to get some. I think "Cut cock" should be my title under my screenname. :(

[MetalMilitia]

YOU DONT GET ONE

PS I have no idea what spray on bandage is actually for. It just seemed like a better idea than a regular bandage.

[sadie]

negative attention is better than none at all, eh, zelda?

[Juttin]

HELP GUYS

I BROKE MY PENIS

[Gurlugon]

I've had a huge rip on the head of my dong from getting too much soap on it in the past. Hurt like hell and bled like crazy. Even with stopping jerking off, it would open from my boxers chafing. It was unpleasant, all in all.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Fuck you fatty. Its only slightly cut and it still works. I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks. And least I can find my wang without having to suck in and move my belly (You deserved every fucking bit of that so dont get all bitchy you touchy prick).

[Juttin]

It only slightly works and it's still cut

FIXED

[Gurlugon]

I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks.

In case it just comes along right like it always does, haha oh man sukcs to be u

[MetalMilitia]

I cant have sex or get head though so that sucks.

Explain to me why this would be a problem for a chubby 14 year old?

[Juttin]

He cannot find the girl for the sexing time :(

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I have a girlfriend whos easy. Good and bad. She sucks and fucks alot but I dont know how many other people shes done it with :(

[Juttin]

Easy WHAT? Easily amused?
You know, it's illegal to fuck the retarded ones. Rape, apparently

[zeldasbiggestfan]

God damnit Juttin shut the fuck up. Your always fucking talking and you think your hot shit because you respond to everything. Your really just cold diarrhea

[Gurlugon]

Y dont u put ur hemorrhaging rod in sum preteen zelda, u can od it

The fluids will be restorative.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Do you have ANY idea how PAINFUL that is?? Its like sticking you dick in boiling water.

[MetalMilitia]

Zeldasbiggestfan sounds like a virgin who has read one too many porn sites.

A girlfriend that's 'easy'? Well I wouldn't expect it to be especially difficult to have sex with her if she actually is your girlfriend.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I got laid on the first date and like 2 weeks later she was my girlfriend. So yeah.

[Juttin]

That's the joke. Sounding like an obvious virgin
Isn't that the joke?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S THE JOKE :/

[Gurlugon]

I enjoy toying with you. I guess I'm a homosexual pedophile. Thanks a lot, guys. :(

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Your welcome. I know Im irresistable. (sp?)

[Chojin]

dictionary.com

[Schimid]

LOL once i had a pimple on the side of mine

no joke

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I would cringe and close my legs at that but I would hurt myself.

[Yggdrasill]

Your story is full of holes mister.

Just how weird was that position? I mean i've done all kinds of things to friends and even if my penis was out I never got it caught in anything.

[Grislygus]

I think it sounds perfectly plausible, mainly because I suspect it also involved steel wool and sodomy.

[WhiteRat]

This thread is great. It's like two chubby retards fighting over a bucket of unprocessed hog lard.

[liquidstatik]

LOL once i had a pimple on the side of mine

no joke

I have one of those now. :[

[Schimid]

Did you freak out too? I had no idea what it was and it hurt really bad, and then eventually I squeezed it really gently, it just popped and I laughed really hard.

Just leave it alone for a while; if you have to squeeze so much it hurts, it's not ready. Treat it like any other pimple and you'll be up lickety split!

[Azrael]

Did you freak out too? I had no idea what it was and it hurt really bad, and then eventually I squeezed it really gently, it just popped and I laughed really hard.

Just leave it alone for a while; if you have to squeeze so much it hurts, it's not ready. Treat it like any other pimple and you'll be up lickety split!

So the kids are calling Genital Herpes "pimples" these days huh?

[executioneer]

ha! ha!

[Schimid]

:notfunny

[zeldasbiggestfan]

No it wasnt but that was.

[RaNkeri]

So where did you exactly manage to rip off your skin? From the upper crotch area, or from the shaft?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Around the base and under. Today I realized its not one its TWO. They meet. It kind of looks like a red enflamed wishbone. :(

[RectalWart]

I could go SO many ways with this, but no...brotherhood of man and all that shit. I'll take the high road. :)

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Shut the fuck up already and kill yourself.

[Misdemonar]

you two make me lol, lol.

[RectalWart]

Dood!

At least my dick isn't shredded.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

At least my dick isnt 2 inches long you needledick prick.

[RectalWart]

Poor Zeldasfag! His poor shredded dick isn't even 2 inches long! I'm so sorry, my brother! :( :( :(

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Hahahahaha choke on cock! >:

[RaNkeri]

thread back ups?

[Grislygus]

Why? What makes you think we won't see the exact same thing a few weeks from now? Remember Gorlack?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I was thinking that this asshole is Gorlack.

[RectalWart]

What's a Gorlack? 'Tisn't me. :/