I talked to some girls!!

[BlueOatmeal]

I'm telling you its fuckng great. Because I haven't really talked to any girls in a long time.

SO I was just chillin' with some people, keeping on the ol' mellow then I started to talk to this girl about pokemon and how Evvee was so cool and I was talking about magikarp and how he was like the most hated pokemon In FireRed for the GBA and how his pokedex infromation was really mean.

I was looking down her shirt when she dropped her phone. I want to see her naked like sooooo bad.

[Juttin]

EW GROSS GIRLS HAVE COOTIES :x

[mischief]

i dropped my phone on purpose

[executioneer]

i don't talk to girls they give me the jibblies

[RectalWart]

EW GROSS GIRLS HAVE COOTIES :x

So...you're into guys then?

I think you and zeldasbiggestfag need to hook up! :)

[Emu]

RectalWart dude come here we need to have a talk (arm around shoulders)

Listen man (hand gesture for emphasis) when you're a cunt to someone it's kind of funny? But when you do it in every thread it just makes you look like some kind of queer? And that's not OK with me bro that's not okay (concerned face) Especially when you pick such an easy target (laughter)

[RectalWart]

Ok, ok. I'll back off of poor little (?) Juttin. And Zelda. *sigh* You're right, it was too easy, I see that now. :/

[BlueOatmeal]

i dropped my phone on purpose

I really thank you for doing that. Your cleavage was very nice. I was all like "MMMM MMMMM I wanna snuggle all up in dat!"

[noob3]

blueoatmeal you are now one of my most favorite people on the board

ps hella props on the down the shirt bit that was a smooth move brother

[mischief]

i'm a big slut

[BlueOatmeal]

So I was standing outside before class smoking and listening to The Pipettes and then I hear "Hey its Larry!" So I turn around there is a girl that I've seen before and hung out with in her dorm with her other girl roommates. So I say hi and she says "I'm going to give you a hug" So she did and all I could say was thank you because that was the first time a girl has had her arms around me in like a year.

It was a good day!







I'm so alone. :(

[executioneer]

pffft

[BlueOatmeal]

pffft?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Think this chick may be your new gal?

[BlueOatmeal]

no. :(

Well maybe if I tried really hard. But I have really low self-esteem and that keeps me from saying and doing alot of stuff.

[MetalMilitia]

give her a photo of your penis, signed with a kiss. Girls love that kind of stuff.

[GADZOOKS]

So what I talk to girls all the time and it doesn't rack up my phone bill :rolleyes

[BlueOatmeal]

We're not all as naturally smooth as you GADZOOKS.

[noob3]

gadzooks likes his waitresses :lol

and hookers

[BlueOatmeal]

A pretty lousy girl-less weekend. :(

[Sam]

BUCK UP LITTLE BUDDY. :(

You'll get em next weekend.

[BlueOatmeal]

Thanks for the motivation!

[GADZOOKS]

gadzooks likes his waitresses :lol

and hookers

fucking rude dude

[adept_ninja]

blue where have you been man?

[BlueOatmeal]

Just hanging around. Not really doing anything worth writing about.

[Sam]

EXCEPT FOR TALKING TO THE LADIEZ!

[BlueOatmeal]

YEAH!! :)

[BlueOatmeal]

So I'm talking to this girl that I met through some friends but I don't know what to say to her. Its all the pointless shit like "Do you read books?" and "I sure do like music, do you like music?"

:/

[Terra]

Keep drinking Oatie. Then you'll be fly.

[noob3]

ask her if she likes to fuck

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Thatll get a conversation going.

[Yggdrasill]

Have someone push her down the stairs while your at the bottom just in time to catch her in your arms

[zeldasbiggestfan]

:lol

[BlueOatmeal]

Thats really fucking romantic.

[Mystie]

So I'm talking to this girl that I met through some friends but I don't know what to say to her. Its all the pointless shit like "Do you read books?" and "I sure do like music, do you like music?"

:/

Try some of the lines I always get like, "My horoscope today said I'm going to have a wildnight," or "Have I ever told you you have a great set of tits?" and the ever-popular, "Don't worry, baby, if I get you pregnant I'll take responsibility."

[noob3]

So, do you like to fuck?

[BlueOatmeal]

Crazy story today guys. Ok so I'm walking to my car after class when I see Justin and Tommy so I say hi and Justin is all like "Come to the the health center with me I feel kinda ill" So I go with him and there is this girl sitting in the waiting room with crutches that Justin knows so we talk to her and shes trying to find someone to give her a ride to the hospital off campus, so I say, out of nowhere "I'll take you" So I do and throughout the whole hospital experience I just stared at her HUGE fucking titties and jumbo butt. It was a fun day.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Your so sly with the ladiez oatmeal! We all love you :)

[sadie]

back away from the we.

[MetalMilitia]

The views expressed by Zeldasbiggestfan may not necessarily represent the views of the I-Mockery community.

However in this case BlueOatmeals extreme level of creepyness is somewhat endearing :(

[liquidstatik]

MetalMilitia, i think you're jealous ;x

[RectalWart]

And you guys got mad at me for calling zelda a fag alla time. :blah

[BlueOatmeal]

I kick so much ass!

[zeldasbiggestfan]

And you guys got mad at me for calling zelda a fag alla time. :blah Yeah becuase you did it every damn post. You can do it once in awhile but jesus it was all the time.

[noob3]

yeah i mean calling him a fag should be a once a day thing not all day then ur addicted

ps zelda is a fag :lol cut that hair boy ull get more ladies ;) less gay men :d

[BlueOatmeal]

When a girl says "I owe you big time!" that means I can see her titties right?

[MetalMilitia]

atleast!

[Grislygus]

ps zelda is a fag :lol cut that hair boy ull get more ladies ;) less gay men :d

Unfortunately, I can actually attest to the side effects of hippie hair. Most of the girls who hit on me look like they just rode out of the county fair (Three of them I actually met at county fairs), and I've been hit on by a couple of people who I never, ever wanted to know were gay.

...

But at least I can ROCK OUT, amirite?

[noob3]

When a girl says "I owe you big time!" that means I can see her titties right?

dude when can't you see thier titties? man it's turning out you were never as smooth as i believed in the first place i am losing hope in you dude

[BlueOatmeal]

Hey now, I never said I was smooth. I'm sorrry for letting you down. I'll try extra hard from now on.

[mischief]

why don't you charm a girl with a present?

[sadie]

can you say "materialistic"?

[MetalMilitia]

Don't give me that. All girls love preasents and you know it, Sadie.

[Terra]

No we don't like "preasents."

:spellcheck :D

[mischief]

I can say it, but what will that do exactly?

[Terra]

It will brand you a sleaze and you will end up with an unending supply of used jizz.

Don't go there "gurlfriend."

[mischief]

and that's wrong why exactly?

[BlueOatmeal]

Oh man I am so crushing on this one girl that I hang out with alot. Its a huge crush. I am SPRUNG!!