This just in......

[sspadowsky]

Dane Cook is still not funny.

[Mockery]

Have you heard his 2nd album? Horrible...

[Ant10708]

Dane Cook is the guy who did Tourgasm right? If so I agree he is not funny.

[Jeff The Ninja]

A few years ago, i thought he was funny. Then I matured. He reminds me of that jackass who sits in the back of the movie theatre during a slasher film barking orders at the actors on screen. We all know that the killer is in the closet now shut up.

[Sam]

A few years ago, i thought he was funny. Then I matured. He reminds me of that jackass who sits in the back of the movie theatre during a slasher film barking orders at the actors on screen. We all know that the killer is in the closet now shut up.

That's because he has a joke where he is talking about how he goes to the theater and black people have to tell him to shush because he is yelling at the characters. :(

[Girl Drink Drunk]

I'm happy to say I've never heard his standup act and the only instances I've ever had to hear about him were in scathing articles or that ad for Employee of the Month (whom I mistook for Ben Affleck) :)

[Ninjavenom]

blah blah blah blah

i hate everything that's popular blah blah


he's just overexposed. If he weren't so popular i'm sure you would like him. Did you see his first comedy central special? Now, Stephen Lynch, there's a guy worth hanging :-/

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Dane Cook is still not funny.

David Cross said it best. When asked if he'd rather listen to Larry the Cable Guy or Dane Cook, he said Larry the Cable Guy.

Owned.

And yes, he is overexposed. Vicous Circle? Only George Carlin should be allowed to do that shit. Cook has a few moments but there were comedians in his time that should have gotten the fame he has.

Mitch Hedberg we hardly knew ye. And try an Eddie Izzard album. That's comedy.

[Rongi]

he's just overexposed. If he weren't so popular i'm sure you would like him. Did you see his first comedy central special? Now, Stephen Lynch, there's a guy worth hanging :-/

dave chappelle is overexposed as anything, and i think he is hillarious. fuck dane cook. he makes gallagher look funny

[ScruU2wice]

blah blah blah blah

i hate everything that's popular blah blah


no he's just not funny anymore. It has nothing to do with popularity, the jokes he tells changed. Before I remember most of his jokes involved ultra contrived situations that never happen in real life like walking into the DMV and getting punched in the stomach to make you feel better about the wait, to just being very loud about everyday crap.

I'm sure your sense of humor differs from mine, and he might be funny in your scope which is totally fine because there is nothing and no one that can make that wrong. But when I watch his insomniac tour set, or his hbo special thing, I don't hear the same jokes that made me laugh a couple years ago.

[Black Flag]

ninjavenom i don't remember if i've ever spoken to you in all the years we've both posted on this message board, but i'd just like you to know that saying people are trying to pick up some kinda indie comedy cred by hating dane cook is kinda goofy

[Mockery]

Indeed, Cook's first album actually had some good material on it here 'n there. The bit about the Kool-Aid guy made me laugh when I first heard it. Problem now is, his "comedy" isn't funny and he's insanely full of himself.

Also, not sure if any of you caught his SNL appearance. It was painful to watch, yet the very next day, people online were saying how awesome and hilarious he was and I couldn't believe it. He didn't even make me crack a smile.

[Ninjavenom]

ninjavenom i don't remember if i've ever spoken to you in all the years we've both posted on this message board, but i'd just like you to know that saying people are trying to pick up some kinda indie comedy cred by hating dane cook is kinda goofy


granted, but that's how it seems to me. I thought his new album was good, although it indeed isn't the same as his first one. his stuff still makes me laugh, but i guess maybe i have a broader sense of humor than anyone else in this thread :O

[DehydratedPorkMan]

I saw him in a club about a couple months before he was doing his Comedy Central special and he did the Kool Aid bit and the "sweet sauce all on my pussy" bit. And my favorite is anything involved being hit/punched in the face. If he doesn't do it anymore, though, he's not worth it. He is very full of himself and I hope one day he goes away and does not become a George Carlin for our generation. I noticed they both like to talk about things we don't really talk about but all think about and I think Cook is a hack. Carlin is god and cannot be touched.

[ArrowX]

wait wait! People Compare Cook to Carlin? Thats not even possible, they both have entirely different styles of stand up. I had assumed that every generations George Carlin is George Carlin until the fateful day when he dies and standup comedy is forever a thing of the past.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

wait wait! People Compare Cook to Carlin? Thats not even possible, they both have entirely different styles of stand up. I had assumed that every generations George Carlin is George Carlin until the fateful day when he dies and standup comedy is forever a thing of the past.

I wasn't comparing them. I was calling Cook a hack. They both like to bring up suffering and things we remember but don't talk about.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Carlin is great but I fucking love Richard Pryor. He was great.

[Zomboid]

Last night I was linked to an audio file from the radio or something where joe rogan was talking about how dane cook steals other comedian's material. Also, I watched employee of the month, knowing it'd suck but hoping there'd at least be a few laughs but no. So I kinda don't like the guy either right now :O

[GADZOOKS]

Dane Cook is for the kids. Like Drawn Together, I think it's garbage but most younger people do, it's THEIR thing and I will never get it.

Also, Zelda, I would like to know what are your top three stage performances you like of Pryor's. I really think you are a kid who saw one of his movies or heard his Sunset Strip performance and by that alone you think he's the best.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

I bet he likes Richard Pryor only because he's supposed to. He's the number one comedian and yet I still never listened to him. I only heard one bit. It was fucking hilarious but I forgot it.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Live in Concert, I ain't dead yet, and Here and Now.

:blowme

[GADZOOKS]

Took you long enough to wikipedia that.

AND I AIN'T DEAD YET IS A DOCUMENTARY ON COMEDY CENTRAL, YOU DUMMY.

[ArrowX]

I still have my George Carlin records but my players pin snapped a year ago :(

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Took you long enough to wikipedia that.

AND I AIN'T DEAD YET IS A DOCUMENTARY ON COMEDY CENTRAL, YOU DUMMY. I didnt wikipedia shit. Or IMDB. And if you want another then fine. Ill have " Still Smokin' " for 500.

[GADZOOKS]

Another One? I said stage performances and you named a documentary about him, you have no idea what you are talking about.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Pretty much.

[Ninjavenom]

you can't steal material in stand-up comedy.


Also, i know i'll get crucified for this and it's probably hypocritical, but i think Carlin is overrated and boring. He tells these long-ass fucking stories that don't go anywhere >:O

[Zomboid]

Of course you can steal material. It's also pretty fucking pathetic when it happens.

[ScruU2wice]

you can't steal material in stand-up comedy.

I really don't know if you were serious or not, material can definatally be stolen. You're not gonna get far without people noticing that your joke has a strikingly similiar premise to someone elses joke. whether it's intentional or not people notice when something is "like" something else. It's kinda like plaigirism at higher levels; it doesn't really happen word for word but ideas are taken.

The only really notable case I can think of is with Dennis Leary and Bill Hicks

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Leary#Accusations_of_plagiarism

[Zomboid]

http://media.putfile.com/Joe-Rogan-Exposes-Joke-Thieves

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Of course you can steal material in stand-up. I was listening to a Bill Hicks album and they both spoke about basically the same suffering conditions in the Gulf War and how it was entertainment. Then he said Carlin's abortion quote.
"Did you ever notice that women against abortion are women you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place?"
Carlin did change, yes and he does talk longer and he does go on rants, but he doesn't go as far as, say, David Cross (who I still like). If you heard Cross's records they can get pretty preachy.
On a closing note, I have a Steve Martin 78" that I just found at the flea market.

[sspadowsky]

i hate everything that's popular blah blah


he's just overexposed. If he weren't so popular i'm sure you would like him. Did you see his first comedy central special? Now, Stephen Lynch, there's a guy worth hanging :-/

No.

I'm bagging on Dane Cook because he's not fucking funny. Period. I've watched his act, and I've watched that godawful abomination called Tourgasm. He has no jokes. I'm not a comic myself, but it seems to me that if you're in the comedy business, you'd want to keep a few of those on hand.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Remember that comedians don't really tell jokes. You just have to have the talent of being funny. You weave together stories and small insights and one-liners but no real comedian actually tells just jokes.

For some reason I think Dane Cook sold stand-up out. At least Chapelle had a decent show.

[sspadowsky]

No. Comedians most definitely do tell jokes. Jokes are what make comedy, um, funny. It may come across as a story or insight or what have you, but everything about that story is carefully calculated to garner a specific reaction, i.e. laughter. Setup --> Punchline --> hahahahaha. That is a joke. Dane Cook does not have those. He has meandering stories that don't really go anywhere. He says "dude" and "brah" a lot, and gesticulates wildly. That is all.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

No. Comedians most definitely do tell jokes. Jokes are what make comedy, um, funny. It may come across as a story or insight or what have you, but everything about that story is carefully calculated to garner a specific reaction, i.e. laughter. Setup --> Punchline --> hahahahaha. That is a joke. Dane Cook does not have those. He has meandering stories that don't really go anywhere. He says "dude" and "brah" a lot, and gesticulates wildly. That is all.

Okay, just checking to make sure you didn't imply that comedians tell shit like "A penguin walks into a bar" or the Aristocrats.

I think his Comedy Central bit, aside from saying punching someone in the face (because I love that term) was a big "fuck you" to the comedy spectrum. The worst was when he would fall on the floor and talk to the camera and compare his show to a rock 'n roll show. I think that's what he wants to be, a rock star in the comedy world. Not happening. But you do see it. He's loud, vulgar and stupid, just like a real rock star!

[ScruU2wice]

Remember that comedians don't really tell jokes. You just have to have the talent of being funny. You weave together stories and small insights and one-liners but no real comedian actually tells just jokes.

Yes they do, they're just so good at it that you can't tell.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Remember that comedians don't really tell jokes. You just have to have the talent of being funny. You weave together stories and small insights and one-liners but no real comedian actually tells just jokes.

Yes they do, they're just so good at it that you can't tell.

Forget it. That's not what I meant, but nobody can see that.

There's a difference between jokes and joke-jokes.

[sadie]

go ahead and flog the dead horse. you know you wanna.

[sspadowsky]

Forget it. That's not what I meant, but nobody can see that.

There's a difference between jokes and joke-jokes.

You're absolutely right. And Cook has neither.

I understand what you're saying, Porky. But let's not get sidetracked here. The important thing to keep in mind is that Dane Cook blows. There are millions of people who don't realize this, and it's important to get the message out there.

I would rather watch 36 straight hours of Carrot Top than another 5 minutes of Dane Cook.

[Grislygus]

EDIT: Crap, missed the boat. IGNORE ME.

[Krythor]

you can't steal material in stand-up comedy.

A fantastic Stewart Lee bit about Joe Pasquale stealing a joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YE9Kthyaco

[Black Flag]

you can't steal material in stand-up comedy.

man, i'd really like to hear why you think this

[Dr. Boogie]

I liked his first album, too, but I have to admit it has been a while since I last heard it. The second one was pretty flat, though, so I lost interest.

For anyone curious about what jokes he stole, but not so curious that you would look for them yourself, here's a ytmnd that someone made using an MP3 that compared his version of the jokes with Louis CK's:

http://danecookisahack.ytmnd.com/


Also, I saw his SNL monologue the other day and realized that he stole his joke about getting the wrong shoe size from Todd Lynn.

[Spengler]

Hilarious impression of Dane Cook. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7JyTKYjflQ)

[SLjimbolian]

George Carlin and Dane Cook don't even belong in the same sentence.

[ArrowX]

I already said that :(

I to be honest he has awesome energy on stage and its contagious to the crowd, thats why his act is popular. People have a slight disconnect when the comedian that isn't funny is doing nothing to draw attention. Cook is always moving and falling down and gesturing so you don't notice it as much. But if you just hear him hes a fucking hack. Hes not effective aurally so hes effective visually.

[sspadowsky]

I can understand that he's animated on stage, but even that doesn't hold up. I've only seen him on TV, never just heard a recording. And he still wasn't funny.

The other night, I was over at a friend's house, and his roommate was watching that fuckin' Tourgasm silliness. The part I enjoyed most was watching the three unfunny nobodies that Cook brought out with him. They all walked around with a constant look of dumbfoundedness that seemed to say, "Oh, Jesus, I better milk the fuck out of my fifteen minutes before they figure out I'm not funny." And I KNOW that was the look, because I saw it on Pauly Shore's face back in the 90s.

But I digress. Of the roughly forty-five minutes I watched, approximately three minutes of it was acutal guys on stage, and none of that three minutes was funny. The rest of it was them bickering like whiny prima donna bitches. But what I noticed was the roommate. HE wasn't laughing at it, and I'm pretty sure he was high.

To which my friend replied, "That should be Dane Cook's slogan: 'So Lame, Even Pot Can't Make Him Funny.'"

[ArrowX]

I remember laughing my ass off watching him, back in grade 8 :(

[ScruU2wice]

I would rather watch 36 straight hours of Carrot Top than another 5 minutes of Dane Cook.

He was hilarious in Pauly Shore is Dead and Reno911, because he was just a dick about being Carrot Top. He's honestly funny in cameos when he's acting or being full of himself.

[Dr. Boogie]

I don't think that anyone is trying to make a case for Tourgasm, though. The other commedians on that tour just sucked, and were whiny, especially the fat bald guy. They had him on Tough Crowd a couple times, and he was exactly the same as he was on Tourgasm.

Come to think of it, Dane Cook was on Tough Crowd, too. I don't think he even bothered to say anything, though.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

George Carlin and Dane Cook don't even belong in the same sentence.

oops.

I saw half the comics on Tough Crowd in performance, too. Jim Breur (or however you spell it=heckler magnet. All he does is bag on the crowd Michael Richards style. Come to think of it, every comedian I've seen from TV that I've seen on stage (Angel Salazar, Aeries Spears, Nick Dipaolo, etc.) just make fun of the crowd. Anyone can do that, there's no humor to it.

Speaking of flogging dead horses but not that I'm complaining, it's taking us 3 pages to explain that Dane Cook is not funny.

[Zomboid]

I liked his first album, too, but I have to admit it has been a while since I last heard it. The second one was pretty flat, though, so I lost interest.

For anyone curious about what jokes he stole, but not so curious that you would look for them yourself, here's a ytmnd that someone made using an MP3 that compared his version of the jokes with Louis CK's:

http://danecookisahack.ytmnd.com/


Also, I saw his SNL monologue the other day and realized that he stole his joke about getting the wrong shoe size from Todd Lynn.
Yeah, the clip in the ytmnd is one of the same as in the joe rogan thing. It's pretty hard to say he wasn't blatantly stealing from the guy. There was another one too where Louis CK was talking about naming his kid FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF and dane cook went and talked about naming his kid BBBBBBBLLLLAAAAAAAA or something like that about 5 years later.

[xbxDaniel]

And here I was, thinking I just wasn't getting it.

[sspadowsky]

Speaking of flogging dead horses but not that I'm complaining, it's taking us 3 pages to explain that Dane Cook is not funny.

No, it really only took one sentence. The rest has been expounding on the many reasons why he's not funny. It's sorta like when John Gotti went to trial. You knew the fucker was guilty as sin, but the prosecution had to go through the motions of presenting evidence.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Speaking of flogging dead horses but not that I'm complaining, it's taking us 3 pages to explain that Dane Cook is not funny.

No, it really only took one sentence. The rest has been expounding on the many reasons why he's not funny. It's sorta like when John Gotti went to trial. You knew the fucker was guilty as sin, but the prosecution had to go through the motions of presenting evidence.

Here's another reason he's not funny. He takes his clothes off during performance. Attention whores=barf.

I just saw a Louie CK special on HBO. He's just as bad, but with less hair and more unnessecary vulgarity.

[Rongi]

i guess maybe i have a broader sense of humor than anyone else in this thread :O

i like you and everything, but that's just a stupid thing to say.

[Black Flag]

"broader" is pretty much just the positive spin on "lower standards"

[Rabid Child]

the only good thing he did was his first Comedy Central Presents special, everything else is terribal and is in my to 100 people that annoy me and i include myself in that list

[Chojin]

Uh, to be honest, those jokes in that ytmnd didn't sound stolen at all.

[Rabid Child]

some of the jokes he did i like, wouldnt of been funny other then the way he tells them, I admit i have them but i dont listen to them anymore. the ones i like would have been stupid otherwise, i need to play them again in order to list examples. I am Selling them in the not to distant future. Im shure i can get about 20 bucks for both of them in a bundle from kids @ School

[Girl Drink Drunk]

maybe what we have to do is hire some "people of African descent" to heckle Dane Cook throughout his set, and BAM! Racial tirade-style career suicide:lol

[DehydratedPorkMan]

maybe what we have to do is hire some "people of African descent" to heckle Dane Cook throughout his set, and BAM! Racial tirade-style career suicide:lol

Dane's not an idiot. He's just unfunny.
And Michael Richards will always be remembered for Stanley Spadowsky. Fuck Kramer. And my memories of UHF are tarnished now.

[Rabid Child]

Dane Did have a heckler at one of his shows, its on one of the cds, that was the best part him yelling at this drunk guy

[sspadowsky]

I saw his first Comedy Central special the other night (taped in 2000, according to the program guide), which was what prompted me to start this thread in the first place. That guy is on a comedy treadmill of suck. He started out unfunny, and has gone virtually nowhere since.

[Rabid Child]

Ok I just watched and listend to it again and I take everything I said back He SUCKS, At least i could sell they and get a chunk of change

[DehydratedPorkMan]

I saw his first Comedy Central special the other night (taped in 2000, according to the program guide), which was what prompted me to start this thread in the first place. That guy is on a comedy treadmill of suck. He started out unfunny, and has gone virtually nowhere since.

Speaking of treadmills, that treadmill music video is funnier than anything Dane Cook did.

Except he says, "Punch you in the face" a lot.

Ok I just watched and listend to it again and I take everything I said back He SUCKS, At least i could sell they and get a chunk of change
Buy some Mitch Hedberg CDs.

[Grislygus]

Speaking of treadmills, that treadmill music video is funnier than anything Dane Cook did.

BAH, trendiness.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

BAH, trendiness.

You gotta admit, four hipsters lip synching/dancing on treadmills is more entertaining than Dane Cook throwing water on his face and pretending to be an alien.

[Grislygus]

Alright, I will. But only because your take on zeldasbiggest fan is surprisingly apt.

[DehydratedPorkMan]

Say huh?

[Rabid Child]

[quote]
Buy some Mitch Hedberg CDs.

which CD of his is better, I'm a fan of the comedy central stuff i've seen

[Grislygus]

Say huh?


You know who he reminds me of? Pip from South Park. He's always there but doesn't really do anything too bad but everybody makes fun of him. I'm gonna call you Pip from now on.

[sspadowsky]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/58680?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Hehehehehehe.

[BlueOatmeal]

In Soviet Russia, Jokes tell comedians.

LOL2DAMAX

[Supafly345]

Girls like dane cook, so I is er euhuf

[Miss Modular]

David Cross said it best. When asked if he'd rather listen to Larry the Cable Guy or Dane Cook, he said Larry the Cable Guy.

And that's really saying something, since Cross and Larry have had a feud for some time now.

Oh yeah, and Dane Cook BLOWS. He and Ned, er, Carlos Mencia can suck my left one.

[Schimid]

Talking about Mencia, oh man, I love this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsq1uTLBHBc

Mencia gets ousted by Joe Rogan, Ari Schaffer, George Lopez, Bobby Lee and others.

[Fathom Zero]

I'm lovin' it.