Stupid things you did as a kid.

[Dire Flamingo]

After seeing the movie "Pochahontas" where she does the dive off the waterfall, I attempted to do the same dive, arms spread, from the high dive at my pool and messed my belly up pretty bad.

I wanted to play with my brother's fish, so I picked up a big plastic one and shoved my arm into the tank to interact.

I chased an ice-cream truck and had no idea where I was.

I kept my rabbit in my bedroom for a week or two after seeing a crappy horror movie about killer bees because I thought they were going to kill her.

In 1st grade, when it was time to tell jokes, mine was "What does a lake say when his nose is blocked up?" and loudly answered "GOD DAM!" which knocked me back a star on the Good Deeds board.

Luckily, I didn't seriously injure myself. Except the two failed attempts at bathing my cat.
It goes on.

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

Were your parents cousins?

[FartinMowler]

My parents keep telling relatives a story about me flushing an Apple down the toilet :/

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

Were you bobbing for it?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I flooded my house because of that scene from home alone.

I tried to flush my cat down the toliet every day 3 times a day for about a year.

I ran across the street and got grounded for 3 months.

And the best one ever: I blew up a microwave with a knife that I put in it.

[sadie]

i loved the baby ducks to death. :(

[RaNkeri]

I sold my Sega Genesis :tear

[Noodles]

i loved the baby ducks to death. :(

YOu squeezed them to death?

[Dire Flamingo]

Were your parents cousins?
Nah, no inbreeding here. I just have an impressive resume.
I WAS A LOVEABLE SCAMP.

[Angryhydralisk]

I rode my bike and played chicken with a telephone pole.

[Emu]

For a long time, I thought Indian money was comprised of tiny colored crystals.

[Wiffle Bat]

I collected broken glass thinking they were precious stones and jewels.

I acciddentaly ate a whole spoonfull of Wasabi thinking it was Guacamole.

[noob3]

when i was a wee one i shit my pants, boy was that stupid! how old are we talking here? when i was in elementary school some girl said I had "jelly rolls" so i pushed her off the fucking swing that bitch!!

[Schimid]

I thought my grandmother was my best friend. And that she was my age, and also male.

When my mom told me that my aunts were indeed referred to as "aunts", I cried because I thought they got turned into insects.

[DuFresne]

I gave a lot of kids the middle finger in first grade, not knowing what the middle finger meant. I thought it was just a cool thing I learned to do with my hands. They didn't appreciate it the way i did. :(

[Sacks]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v161/Sacks/kkpb.jpg

[DamnthatDavid]

when I was in Preschool, I decided to help my dad thatch the lawn while he went to the garage to get more gas for the thatcher, and I put my hands on the engine trying to push it. Boy, did my hands blister up.

My friend and I in kindergarten went exploring in the forest behind his house and got lost for 3-4 hours.

In 5th grade at a Family Camping ground, I got angry at my Mom for not bringing along my bicycle after she promised so I yelled at her and said "fine, I'll walk home and get it" she said "Go ahead" and I tried to walk the 30 miles home along the mountain highway, finally being picked up by a cop at 1 in the morning about 16 miles away.

I ruined a friendship by making a joke on a female friends myspace about how drunk she was the night before at the bar. She was in a custody battle for her kid at the time, she got really angry and I haven't talked to her in about a year. (latest dumb thing)

[EisigerBiskuit]

I tried flushing the toilet with a christmas ornament. Why? I don't know, but my hand bled for a while.

Jumped into a pool and hit my chin.

Got dragged into a stick sticking out of the ground when my dog chased something. Stitches ahoy.

Threw a building block when I was 5 and hit my cousin in the head. Her cries ached me. :(

[Schimid]

I gave a lot of kids the middle finger in first grade, not knowing what the middle finger meant. I thought it was just a cool thing I learned to do with my hands. They didn't appreciate it the way i did. :(

OH MAN, I did that once. My class was talking about fingers in first grade or something and everyone put up their index finger. Some kids tried to be funny and put up a pinky, or ring ir something so I, not wanting to be left behind in this wave of social reform, put up my middle finger and the entire class gasped.

My teacher called me up, horrified, whispered in my ear to not do that, and I went home so, so confused.

[Fathom Zero]

I stole tires (not off of cars) and made a mountain out of them in the sixth grade.

[Esuohlim]

I bit a teacher and ran out to the playground. I hid in the slide for an hour before they found me. :(

[Sacks]

I gave a lot of kids the middle finger in first grade, not knowing what the middle finger meant. I thought it was just a cool thing I learned to do with my hands. They didn't appreciate it the way i did. :(

OH MAN, I did that once. My class was talking about fingers in first grade or something and everyone put up their index finger. Some kids tried to be funny and put up a pinky, or ring ir something so I, not wanting to be left behind in this wave of social reform, put up my middle finger and the entire class gasped.

My teacher called me up, horrified, whispered in my ear to not do that, and I went home so, so confused.

Haha, this reminds me of something I actually did.

When I was very young, preschool-kindergarten probably, I started experimenting with my middle finger, and being yelled at and told that it meant something awful only fueled my curiousity. So I guess my incapability to control my fingers made my mother hatch this plan to tell me that if someone sees you flippin' the bird, they'll shoot it right off your hand. This concept terrified me, and somehow it came together in my head that there was an elite and massive team of police sharp shooters on buildings and unmarked cars just waiting for someone to slip up so they can ruin the shit out of you. I kind of wish this was the case, because then I'd know what I want to be when I grow up.

[Chojin]

lol @ sacks' first post :<

We were playing king of the hill at my middle school and some teacher told us to stop and i called him a faggot ;< he was all WHAT DID YOU SAY and i said, UHHH, I SAID HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW HOW KING OF THE HILL IS PLAYED and he was all WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY? '...BEN.' BEN WHO? 'BEN ROGERS.' OKAY.

And he stormed off. I'd later have him as a teacher throughout high school and he was a pretty chill guy. He never mentioned it again, so I guess he forgot ;<

by the way just between us guys my name is not ben rogers

[ArrowX]

when I was about 8 I was digging trenches in the back yard for my plastic army men and after getting about 4 and a half feet i hit a buried natural gas line in my curiosity I dug around it until i had unburied about 3 feet of it, then my mom came running out of the house screaming at me not to touch it or I'd blow up the entire neighborhood.

[Schimid]

I used to hide in the circular jean-display-things at department stores and giggle my little head off. My mom told me that if I did that, the pants would bite me, so I never did it again.

I took the meat out of hamburgers and just ate the hog dog meat without the bun until I was, I think, 12? 14? I stopped because it's super unfilling.

I didn't know which shoe went on which foot until I was about nine or ten.

When I was a kid, I used to get made fun of a lot by the other guys on the playground (loved by the girls though ;D ) and as a result I still have sort of a tendency to be waaay too super-competitive. One time my grandmother and I were playing Captain America and the Avengers for the NES and we were playing the Duel mode. I would play as Iron Man because he was the only character that could fly and shoot directly below him, which led to me chasing my grandmother all around the stage and ultimately killing her. After she started choosing Iron Man and figured out how to fly, and I picked Hawkeye out of pity and couldn't win, I went into a FURIOUS RAGE and threw my NES controller into her eye.

I was a dumb kid.

[Terra]

i used to hang upside down on the monkey bars until i passed out. i got a three day reprieve from school because i hit the sandbox so hard it made my 1rst grade teacher almost faint. i dunno, the world made more sense to me upside down and i hated circle time

[Dire Flamingo]

Terra, your story was heartwarming. :)

[Sacks]

I used to hide in the circular jean-display-things at department stores and giggle my little head off. My mom told me that if I did that, the pants would bite me, so I never did it again.

I took the meat out of hamburgers and just ate the hog dog meat without the bun until I was, I think, 12? 14? I stopped because it's super unfilling.



I was a dumb kid.

My mother told me the jean racks collapse all the time and a bunch of kids die that way all the time. :<

[Preechr]

Some older kids gave me acid on a camping trip when I was 13 and I took it, which in retrospect was kind of stupid, but I wanted them to like me.

I'm pretty sure I had done some much stupider things prior to that, but I can't remember...

I've been good since then, except when I can't remember.

[Evil Robot]

We used to blow up dead rabbits with blockbusters. It made a god awfull mess and smelled like shit.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

i used to hang upside down on the monkey bars until i passed out. i got a three day reprieve from school because i hit the sandbox so hard it made my 1rst grade teacher almost faint. i dunno, the world made more sense to me upside down and i hated circle time Why would you sleep at school?

I also chopped off my sisters betti spaghetti dolls heads and buried them at our old house. She found out and dug them up and buried them with their bodies 2 days later for a funeral.

Also when I was 2 at my Great Grandpas funeral I supposedly fell down and screamed shit like 3 times and the pastor guy stopped talking. I ran over to my parents wondering what I did wrong.

Oh yeah and the last thing I can think of now was at my old neighbor hood I was asked by a lady with my friend to take down her deck. I was like 7. So we knocked off all the rails that hold the banister. Then I got the cops called on me and my parents had to pay a 300 dollar fine. My friend got off scott free. Asshole.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

In grade 1, I peed my pants when I was on top of this playground

Also, when I was young, I was at this golf course, and after seeing one of those golf carts , I wanted to drive one. Apparently, I nearly ran into my grandfather and hit a tree.

[kahljorn]

I spit milk out of my nose at some lady because i was dared to.

I pushed some kid off of the jungle gym (or maybe it was me who got pushed off, can't remember) because he said he was going to be the green ninja turtle.

[sadie]

YOu squeezed them to death?
yes. :( but it was an accident. it was my first experience with death. i was about four, and i blamed it on my little brother. :(

when i was in kindergarten, a little boy told me to say the first part of "dictionary," which i did, having no idea it was a bad word. my teacher made me go sit in the little curtained time-out cubicle. i still didn't know what i did wrong. :(

[MetalMilitia]

I decided I could run away from home and live off a nearby pear tree.

I don't know why I wanted to run away as home life was pretty good, I guess I just heard too many famous 5 audio books.

[Mad Melvin]

I poked a dog poo with a stick and smelled the poo-ish end of the stick real good. I threw up.

[Sacks]

Oh yeah and the last thing I can think of now was at my old neighbor hood I was asked by a lady with my friend to take down her deck. I was like 7. So we knocked off all the rails that hold the banister. Then I got the cops called on me and my parents had to pay a 300 dollar fine. My friend got off scott free. Asshole.

I don't get this. Was the lady pulling the greatest caper of all time? Why didn't you explain that she told you to? Did SHE call the cops?

[DuFresne]

Hey guys one time when i was a kid i was under 18, what a dumb thing to do right :lol

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Oh yeah and the last thing I can think of now was at my old neighbor hood I was asked by a lady with my friend to take down her deck. I was like 7. So we knocked off all the rails that hold the banister. Then I got the cops called on me and my parents had to pay a 300 dollar fine. My friend got off scott free. Asshole.

I don't get this. Was the lady pulling the greatest caper of all time? Why didn't you explain that she told you to? Did SHE call the cops?

No the landlord did because... I dont know. All I know is that my parents said to not knock the deck down when I moved here and I got pissed off at them for awhile.

[corpexec44]

When I was 12 we took one of my friends moms maxi pads and put ketchup and mustard on it and attached it to his neighbors front door. We were complete a-holes and lucky we didn't get a serious assbeating :/

[executioneer]

one time my cousin and i put a ziploc bag full of gasoline on a old log back in the woods and set some lit matches below it and then shot it with bb guns, then (we thought) put it out

man, did we have to haul a lot of buckets of water out there when all that smoke started!!

[kahljorn]

lol at the matches thing with a bb gun.

A friend and i were trying to shoot a match to light it on fire once, but I got tired of it so i went inside to get a drink. When I came back outside he was standing like two feet away from it and trying to shoot it. he shot and about 20 feet away we heard glass shattering. We told him he shot the window out and he said, "No it hit the garage" and my other friend and me were all, "NO YOU SHOT THE WINDOW OUT" and he was all "Oh shit!"

[Rongi]

I used to hide in the circular jean-display-things at department stores and giggle my little head off. My mom told me that if I did that, the pants would bite me, so I never did it again.

that made me laugh because i used to do the same thing

i went up to a black lady at a super market and called her Oprah

i asked my mom what "masturbate" meant. i thought it had to do with super heroes for some reason

i ate laundry detergent :(

[kahljorn]

yea i used to hide in those circle things and collect those plastic clothes pins that are usually all over the stores but especially under those circle clothes racks and then i would make a necklace with them or throw them at my sister or we would have some type of competition involving who could get the most.

[Rongi]

oh one time i threw one of our cats into a steaming bathtub. it died, but i didnt find that out till i was 15. i guess i just assumed my mom gave it away :(

[Jixby Phillips]

RONGI HOW COULD YOU

YOU ARE A MONSTER

RONGI :( :( :( :(

[Chojin]

why would your cat die if thrown into a bathtub

[Rongi]

he was a little kitten and i guess the water was so hot is scalded him to death

just thinking about this makes me sick :(

[Rongi]

RONGI HOW COULD YOU

YOU ARE A MONSTER

RONGI :( :( :( :(

it was an accident i thought the kitty wanted to swim around i was like 5 years old :(

[ArrowX]

thats heartbreaking :(

I want to mail you a cat now, smothering sadness in kittens helps anything.

[Rongi]

i have two cats now named Bigsby and Cleo :D

[noob3]

In elementary school I just decided to sneak out of the schol & walk home. But when I got to my house, the door was locked so I walked up to the closest store to my house, I couldn't remember my dad or mom's work #s so I called my school and pretending to be my uncle & got my dad's number. You know, so I could get into my house.

When I called my dad he knew what was up & yelled at me, but by the time he got home school was over. So I just sat in my backyard being bored the whole day & it was definatley not the awsome day I had imagined when I was sneaking out of school :(

[liquidstatik]

one time in elementary school we were at reccess, and i had to piss reaaaaallyy bad, but my teacher wouldn't let me go inside to the restroom, so i whipped it out and pissed on the water fountain in front of everyone ;<

i almost got in lots of trouble, but my mom took up for me ;o

[Esuohlim]

i went up to a black lady at a super market and called her Oprah

Haha I did this once too

[GADZOOKS]

I started a gang in the 5th grade :lol

[kahljorn]

A gang tried to beat me up in 5th grade >:

[liquidstatik]

lol ;o

my friend got beat up for his bicycle when we were in 8th grade

it was a 20 yr old blaaaacck guy with some thug name i don't remember :x

[kahljorn]

this guy who was my friend n like 3rd grade decided it would be a good idea to beat me up for no reason, i hadn't even seen him for two years. So he started running after me and i ran from him and when he got close i ducked down and he fell down lol.

[Rongi]

i also used to think that if a girl was on a box of cereal, boys werent allowed to eat it. and if a black kid was on a box of cereal, white kids werent allowed to eat it either

which sucked because the girls and the black kids were always on the best cereals. the white kids were on the unsugared, gross ones >:

[THE MOCK WARRIOR]

Did you only eat Retard Crisipies?

[Grislygus]

Whoah! Save the good ones for the ring, champ.

[Rongi]

Did you only eat Retard Crisipies?

yeah it was terr-

HEY WAIT A MINUTE

oh man i walked int othat one didnt i :hifive :picklehat

[zeldasbiggestfan]

one time in elementary school we were at reccess, and i had to piss reaaaaallyy bad, but my teacher wouldn't let me go inside to the restroom, so i whipped it out and pissed on the water fountain in front of everyone ;<

i almost got in lots of trouble, but my mom took up for me ;o This had me in tears.

[Mad Melvin]

I remember when I was in third grade, me and my friend used to pick on this kid on our class, but we really went too far when we took his sweater by force, put it into a toilet, peed on it and made him watch the whole show. He started crying and we just laughed. I feel really bad about it now.

[the_dudefather]

there was this kid I hated, and to get back at him one day I vomited into his hat that was sitting on the ground, got sent to bed early, but it was sooooo worth it

[Noodles]

When I was like 7 I put my pet rabbit in a toy dump truck I had, then I would make the truck go down hills and go off ramps I set up...my rabbit was pretty banged up.:\

[sadie]

i also used to think that if a girl was on a box of cereal, boys werent allowed to eat it. and if a black kid was on a box of cereal, white kids werent allowed to eat it either

which sucked because the girls and the black kids were always on the best cereals. the white kids were on the unsugared, gross ones >:
i love this.

[deuce]

Once we did a school project where we put eggs in an incubator and watched them hatch. After they all hatched I got to take one home and keep it. One day I got this genius idea that I wanted the chicken and my cat to be buddies. I took the chicken out and held it in the palm of my hand in front of our cat for a couple minutes, and as soon as I thought that they were going to get along the cat picked the chicken up in his mouth and ran off.

Poor chicken......

[zeldasbiggestfan]

:lol whyd they let you take one home?

[Goat Cheese]

I wanted a slip and slide really badly, but my parents didn't want to buy me one so one day I took a bunch of garbage bags and set them on the floor. However the floor was covered in gravel. SHARP GRAVEL. So I turned on the hose and jumped and got a gut full of racks and pain. The clincher is that I did it a few times before I realized what was wrong.

[Terra]

another dickless wonder was born

[Chojin]

i was going to be all 'this thread is about stupid things you did as a kid terra, why don't you try participating' until i realized she was

[RaNkeri]

During my years in elementaryschool, I used to annoy the shit out of my upper classmen, who would then chase me around the school halls and yards. It was great fun, mostly because of the adrenalin, and even more funnier when me and some of my friends worked as a team. I got caught quite often though :(

[ArrowX]

I hope they beat the everloving shit out of you too.

[RaNkeri]

I hope they beat the everloving shit out of you too.

I'd reffer it more as "slapping"

[liquidstatik]

oh yeah one time i put a pencil under my sister right before she sat down, because of looney toons. the led broke off in her butt :x

[W01fman]

Speaking of putting things in your butt. Skatermonkey should be here any second.

[AngryTinyMan]

Well, this one time, like fourteen or so years ago, I apparently was mad at my sister for something, so I closed the garage door on her leg. I didn't break it or anything, but it really scared her.

How someone lets their leg get stuck beneath a slow-moving garage door, I really don't get.

[Emu]

A few years ago my cousins were driving a golf cart around and my brother was riding on the back of it. They hit a bump and he fell off. When my cousins had noticed they had lost him, they threw the cart into reverse and backed over him.

lol

[SKATERMONKEY]

when i was a kid i had adhd i would do really annoying things like talk loud, run around the house and eat dirt. when i was at school i would eat glue and paint. also open a pair of scissors in my mouth until this one time they opened in my mouth and my jaw dislocated and i couldnt get them out and had to have a girl to help me.