Who wants too..

[Lenor]

be my valentine? <3
haha

[Terra]

I will. drinks are on me and i'll hold your head over the bowl when you toss babe. that's just how wonderful a gal that i am is. :)

[MattJack]

valentines are for suckas, duh

[Terra]

i'm sending drunken boobie pictures to lenor whe she gets together with the gang. and phone calls too. the drunker the better...

[MattJack]

drunken boobie pictures? I'm going to mardi gras (as always) next weekend and I'll see a bunch of those. A lot of which, you really don't want to see, but drunken boobies none the less.

[Terra]

but not MY drunken boobies you fucking newb

[Lenor]

w00t I get drunken boobie pictures!!

[MattJack]

good one terra. I think I'm going to write that one down.. what was that, "newb?" Ok CHECK I GOT IT COOL.
Besides, how old are you? If you are 23 or above and have significant sized boobies, gravity has already been a merciless mistress to you. Keep that shit under wraps, yo.

[Terra]

good one terra. I think I'm going to write that one down.. what was that, "newb?" Ok CHECK I GOT IT COOL.
Besides, how old are you? If you are 23 or above and have significant sized boobies, gravity has already been a merciless mistress to you. Keep that shit under wraps, yo.

comming from a dickless wonder newb those are pretty tall words. when your done finding your cock long enough to fuck a gerbil and not get lost inside, come on back and play with the grownups. just learn to tuck that raisin back between your legs before you do battle.

[Zomboid]

Can you send me those tit shots too? Thanks.

[Seven Force]

i already have em :lol

[Cosmo Electrolux]

but not MY drunken boobies you fucking newb

wait a minute...you have drunken boobie pictures?

[Terra]

well yes. at the time it seemed a good idea and in retrospect i've received several proposals directly from the incident. but i wouldn't think it a good idea to do it again. well, unless i were drunk or something...

[Lenor]

This should be changed to the 'terras boobs' thread :/

[kahljorn]

we already have a thread about moustaches :rolleyes

[Zomboid]

:lol

....but I really would like to see.

[Goat Cheese]

:puke

:sixcharacters

[Cosmo Electrolux]

well yes. at the time it seemed a good idea and in retrospect i've received several proposals directly from the incident. but i wouldn't think it a good idea to do it again. well, unless i were drunk or something...

I've found that keeping my camera put away whilst intoxicated keeps me from taking compromising photographs of myself and others.

[Terra]

merlot, good times and plenty of pixels.

:/whoops wrong thread

[Cosmo Electrolux]

merlot, good times and plenty of pixels.

:/whoops wrong thread

drunk on Merlot and topless....with a high res camera nearby....

okay, I'll bite....let's see 'em.

[Terra]

i'm not drunk yet!!!

[george]

are you drunk yet?

cause i have a life you know :domo

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I got pretty buzzed last night, but I loaned my flash to a friend...no drunken boobie pics.

[Lenor]

That disappoints me greatly.

[MattJack]

comming from a dickless wonder newb those are pretty tall words.

:lol
You should insult me some more. I like to laugh. I thought dickless/small dick jokes were so jr. high. I guess my response is suppose to be, "NUHHH UHHH MY COCK IS ALL LIKE THERE N SH*T!!" Ah security ;).

Another great thing is you are all "newb!" I remember when you started posting on this board and still you haven't even achieved a chuckle from me, but that is neither here or there. I haven't reached 100 posts yet and still feel i contribute more than a half brain diesel dyke that cosmo jerks it to late at night.

Hey Cosmo, when are you coming to the rescue anyway?

when your done finding your cock long enough to fuck a gerbil and not get lost inside, come on back and play with the grownups.


I had a gerbil once, he bit me, I flushed him. It was a fair trade I thought.

I do play with grownups, in fact I do everyday. Trying to sound like you are smarter than a desk isn't really doing you any kind of a service. Like I said, security is pretty sweet. You are still about as clever as a retard that can't read or write and is always pissed off because he thinks the other retards in his class are fucking retarded. PLEASE DON'T REPLY SAYING, "WELL ATLEAST HE'S SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW HE ISN'T THE MOST RETARDEDDDDDD HAHAHAH! SMALL DICK LITTLE MAN BANANA MANGO GRAPE MAN!"

just learn to tuck that raisin back between your legs before you do battle.
I don't really get this attempt of a joke. I mean I guess I can barely see the raisin-cock joke/analogy, but it is about as weak as a cripple with leukemia and the brain of lenor.

PLEASE INSERT 2 COINS TO CONTINUE. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5...

:lol Just keep replying to me and let your own stupidity produce the comedy!

[liquidstatik]

MattJack you're the best newb to come around in a loooongg time ;o

[MattJack]

Liquid, can we be friends?

[Terra]

kee-ryst i posted that days ago and your just now mustering the gumbas to come back with a response?

or did it take you that long to find your dick, jack off and calm down over this?

[MattJack]

Actually, I have been busy with life and didn't even bother looking in loveline. Even so, it's a message board, not a chat room and maybe you don't understand the difference. I'm not very shocked if you don't, mainly because I know you don't know the difference between a bathtub and your mother. So I'll just let this one slide, mmkay?

However, you got me, I was looking for my dick! I found it, but my hands were quite too large to "jack" it. I cried myself to sleep knowing that I'd never find a woman who would love me (aka fuc* me), the self pity I felt was so crushing that I listened over and over again to the song "What's Love Got To Do With It?"

How's your loverboy? Oh wait, didn't he run away from you (like out of state) as fast as he could?

[liquidstatik]

Liquid, can we be friends?


http://www.njgayguys.com/files/FrontPagePix/Gay_Guys.jpg

[MattJack]

as long as you're the one with the mustache ;)

[Terra]

be careful. mattjack is running low on preparation h

[MattJack]

http://img2.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/82fa4778ee.jpg (http://www.freeimagehosting.net/)

[Terra]

cosmo,

tribute to mattjack: lets roll...

huggies, buttpaste, analplugs

[Cosmo Electrolux]

A plunger, anal beads, and a tube of industrial lubricant

[Terra]

uranium supository, a raincoat and a cork

[Cosmo Electrolux]

rusty bayonette, a pound of rancid bologna, and a package of Depends (size XXL)

[Lenor]

DAMMIT WHO WANTS TO BE MY VALENTINE?

[Terra]

I AM TRYING TO SPAWN!!!

baby powder, a frisbee and edible used condoms

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a half bottle of Manishewitz, two shots of tetracycline, and a ken doll wrapped in duct tape

[Terra]

an innoculation for hpv, a random bag of candy, and two tickets to the zoo

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a bottle of "natural male enhancement" pills, a bowl of vanilla pudding, and a copy of "stark raving nude" magazine

[Terra]

a sesame street coloring book, a bottle of "no doze," and onion dip

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a jar of jalepeno bean dip, a tube of minty fresh Pepsodent, and a crudely drawn picture of Richard Nixon buggering an otter

[Terra]

a photograph of linden b johnson eating bush's baked beans, a jar of old pickeled eggs, and a bag of red hots

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a sepiatone photograph of Elenor Roosevelt spread eagle, a pickled pigs foot, and a bag of stale Funyuns

[Terra]

an old sack of potatoes, one shriveled bratwurst (courtesy of my ex), and a black and white still of a vigoruosly fornicating circus bearded woman

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a microwave burrito, a dry, wilted, smelly taco (courtesy of MY ex), and a poor quality 8mm film of Rich Little getting assraped.

[noob3]

so have cosmo & terra copulated yet

[Terra]

so have cosmo & terra copulated yet

when i get the correct sized rectal thermometer that can read my basal body temp, there's no stopping this freight train

[Terra]

a microwave burrito, a dry, wilted, smelly taco (courtesy of MY ex), and a poor quality 8mm film of Rich Little getting assraped.

great pixel shot of rosie o'donnell getting fingered by king kong, a year old california roll, and some melted candy corn

[Cosmo Electrolux]

great pixel shot of rosie o'donnell getting fingered by king kong, a year old california roll, and some melted candy corn

A grainy black and white photograph of bigfoot jerking off, a moldy cup of pudding, half a twinkie with a cigarette butt in it, and some cold, greasy bacon

[Esuohlim]

This thread is gay

[xbxDaniel]

no, you're gay!

How is that not six characters?

[Terra]

A grainy black and white photograph of bigfoot jerking off, a moldy cup of pudding, half a twinkie with a cigarette butt in it, and some cold, greasy bacon

wet beef jerky, a dead possum in the middle of the road with a cigar hanging out of it's mouth, a teaspoon of cum from mattjack (all he can do in ten years, the dickless wonder), and a picture of nessie banging theeverlovin' shit out of mattjack.

milhouse i'm so glad you have me on your ignore list.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

a cold dog dick hot dog, a piece of that dried mustard from the rim of the jar, a dead dog with Mattjacks dick still buried in it's cold ass, and a powerpoint slideshow showing the natural progression of Mattjack going from masturbating to Mr. Rogers to his molesting of homeless men in the shelter men's room.

[Esuohlim]

I took you off because you post too much for the ignore function itself to not be annoying. It's easier to just skip your posts over I've decided.

CAN I PLAY THIS GAME TOO, A POLKA-DOTTED HAND GRENADE, FIVE BAGS OF USED POPSICLE STICKS, A TUBE OF LIP GLOSS, AND A PARDON FROM THE GOVERNOR (this is great, let's make it go on ad nauseum in several threads)

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I took you off because you post too much for the ignore function itself to not be annoying. It's easier to just skip your posts over I've decided.

CAN I PLAY THIS GAME TOO, A POLKA-DOTTED HAND GRENADE, FIVE BAGS OF USED POPSICLE STICKS, A TUBE OF LIP GLOSS, AND A PARDON FROM THE GOVERNOR (this is great, let's make it go on ad nauseum in several threads)
Jeez, I'm sorry Milhouse...I apologize for not meeting the high standards you demand in posts on this forum. Henceforth, I will make it my mission in life to uphold the standards of the I-Mockery forums and to make you and other fat tongued, lard-assed 10th grade cum burps proud of me. Once again, please accept my most humble apologies.

With that being said.....I thought I'd check out some of your posts so that I could follow in your footsteps. let's see.....
Yes I like my copy of Pokemon Silver ok shut up >:
interesting....not only does this tell me you're approximately 14 years old, but it tells me you will never, in your lifetime, see a womans genitals unless you peek into the room where your mom is changing. Quality post...top quality

For the last few days I've made the same delicious sandwich which I don't think has a name (SO IT'S THE "MILHOUSE SANDWICH" FROM NOW ON). The ingredients are as follows.

Two slices of fresh bread
Buffalo-Style chicken
Finely shredded mozzerela cheese
Shedded crispy lettuce
Hidden Valley Ranch dressing
Louisiana Hot Sauce

After making the sandwich, you put it in a toaster oven for about 30 seconds (or a microwave if you want to make a fag sandwich), and add the hot sauce at the end.

I've been eating this for lunch every day for about a week and it gives me mouth orgasms. :(

again, another top notch post. This is not only a nauseating recipe, but offers insite into your personality. You seem to really go the the creamy, white sauces on your food, as well as creamy, gooey white cheeses. I'll leave this to the others to make the "fag" jokes...I'll mearly say that you make poor nutritional choices, but make some damned fine posts.

and last, but not least....

THERE WAS A THREAD WITH ONE EXCLAIMATION POINT AND A THREAD WITH THREE EXCLAIMATION POINTS AND SO I FELT THIS THREAD WAS NECESSARY

I think that this post is eveything a quality post should be. No "ad nauseum" posts in other threads, even though the entire post is in "caps", I think that could be forgiven considering the content and the humor presented. I say, Bravo...this is the I-Mockery standard for posts in a forum.

now, Terra....where were we?

ah, yes...


a pair of queen sized control top pantyhose filled with cold oatmeal, a dead carp, an oil paining of Abe Lincoln fisting U.S. Grant.

[Terra]

Post. Post. Post, more posting. Posting to Terra. Grumble. Post. Post. Post.

i knew you couldn't ignore me. yeah i post everywhere, right? general blabber, loveline and mockwars. man i just take this WHOLE forum over don't i?

[Terra]

now, Terra....where were we?

ah, yes...


a pair of queen sized control top pantyhose filled with cold oatmeal, a dead carp, an oil paining of Abe Lincoln fisting U.S. Grant.

george washington finding his teeth and missing glove up his wife's ass, a beached wombat, and a goat's bladder filled with a roto virus

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Thomas Jefferson giving 'ol Sally a cleveland Steamer, a beaver with a combover, an old douchbag filled with nitro glycerine

[Schimid]

As hilarious as you guys are, what with listing intentionally disgusting, horrible things and whatnot (did you know Kenan and Kel did that too? At the end of, like, every episode? Hilarious!), I'm afraid I'm going to have to lock this thread. Don't bother to post anymore, guys! It won't work!

[Cosmo Electrolux]

what? no picture of yourself? I"m shocked...SHOCKED!!

Now piss off....I'm trying to moisten her up and relieve her of her underclothes....and you're fucking it up for me!!

[Terra]

yeah schimid, hit that ever popular ignore button that milhouse brags about!

now cosmo? mudjerk says we only have three pages of foreplay. it's time to step this up a piece;

connan obrien slipping jim carey a coney island, mattjack with a tube hanging out of his ass, and a long island ice tea filled with glass.

[Esuohlim]

Where the hell do you come from where ranch-style chicken, lettuce, cheese, and hot sauce is nauseating? If you can tell me, then I'll allow the black hole of creativity that is this thread to continue.

[Chojin]

guys the thread is locked didn't you see schimid's post why are you still replying

[Lenor]

Damn, cosmo, you should just take over my thread with milhouse.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Where the hell do you come from where ranch-style chicken, lettuce, cheese, and hot sauce is nauseating? If you can tell me, then I'll allow the black hole of creativity that is this thread to continue.

Alabama

[Cosmo Electrolux]

yeah schimid, hit that ever popular ignore button that milhouse brags about!

now cosmo? mudjerk says we only have three pages of foreplay. it's time to step this up a piece;

connan obrien slipping jim carey a coney island, mattjack with a tube hanging out of his ass, and a long island ice tea filled with glass.

well Terra, we can either start a new thread, resort to PM's, or ...

Matt Damon blowing hot Ranch Dressing on Meatjacks ass, a half ounce of horse cum on toast, and a shot glass of Thorazine and Cheap vodka

[Terra]

why can't we do all three?

a little ripple with a prozac chaser, sturgeon eggs on a day old racoon carcass, and mattjerkies' dick (what little there is of it) turned inside out in a wind tunnel

[Terra]

oh, i sent you the pm. you'll have to start the new thread.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

we can..and will.

A bottle of "middle of the road" merlot, chicken eggs scrambled and served on toast (sorry, I'm hungry) and can we stop talking about meatjacks dick...it's insignificant and tiny...I'd rather talk about our eventual "encounter"...unlike meatjack's encounter..in a truck stop mens room

[Cosmo Electrolux]

oh, i sent you the pm. you'll have to start the new thread.

I got your IM...and replied....I'll start as many as we need :love

[Terra]

that'sa my guy!!

[Schimid]

No! You fools! What have you done!

[Schimid]

http://www.your3dsource.com/bugkillerlamp_b.gifRED ALERThttp://www.your3dsource.com/bugkillerlamp_b.gif

poST OvRWFLow
*bwoop bwoop*

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007
http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=120&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/image.php?u=2221&dateline=2007

[Cosmo Electrolux]

don't try to stop us, man....we've gone too far!!

[Schimid]

http://www.your3dsource.com/alert.gifhttp://www.your3dsource.com/alert.gifhttp://www.your3dsource.com/alert.gifhttp://www.your3dsource.com/alert.gif

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpg
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpg
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpg
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/young.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpghttp://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f184/Schimid/SIR-resize.jpg

[Schimid]

you have unleashed hell

[Lenor]

schmid ur releasing hell :/

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Actually Schimid is cracking me up...:lol

[Terra]

i want schimid to solemly hand over our keys to sex hell. i hope he acts just like howie mandel.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Schimid, do as she asks and no on gets hurt...

[Lenor]

Or you could always, sew your face to the carpet?

[Terra]

it's been done before. i heal quickly

[Lenor]

Terra, are you ever so lucky to have obtained, one of the most unique human gene's ever? The inability to feel pain, only pleasure, Ebbs syndrome (dont quote me on that), I do belive is the medical term.

[Terra]

i hear there is even a vizine for that too

[Lenor]

I WAS ASKING YOU A HONEST QUESTION, TERRA!!!

oh, I just got that joke as I was asking you what it would meen. HA YOUR FUNNY GRL!

[Terra]

i guess i feel pretty lucky. if i actually felt pain i would have left here long ago. conversely, if i were allergic to ugly i would have never set foot in mockeryville. :)

[liquidstatik]

there wouldn't be any mirrors in your house either, huh :x

[Terra]

...and here you come again on the heels of the obvious. son the ugly stick has seen better days after one chance whack at your face

[Lenor]

danny is all emo lookin.

ITS HOT.

[liquidstatik]

i am pretty hot, tho ;)

[Cosmo Electrolux]

danny is all emo lookin.

ITS HOT.

let me guess, he has black hair, a nose and or lip ring, backwards hair, a penchant for describing his angst and how no one understands him, a soulful and thoroughly depressing myspace page where all of the photos are from above or at odd angles, wears womans pants, and rarely bathes.

[Terra]

let me guess, he has black hair, a nose and or lip ring, backwards hair, a penchant for describing his angst and how no one understands him, a soulful and thoroughly depressing myspace page where all of the photos are from above or at odd angles, wears womans pants, and rarely bathes.

...and he lives in a trailor on government subsidy property

[Lenor]

One, can not always control who they are attracted too, whether physically or mentally.

So please, pardon my non-interest in the preppy assholes I attend school with, that only want to converse about how much money they will inherit from daddy when they take over his company.

[liquidstatik]

let me guess, he has black hair, a nose and or lip ring, backwards hair, a penchant for describing his angst and how no one understands him, a soulful and thoroughly depressing myspace page where all of the photos are from above or at odd angles, wears womans pants, and rarely bathes.

im so sorrryy cosmo but the only thing you got right is that i wear girrlly pants :x

IM ACTUALLY QUITE A HAPPY PERSON, HUN :D

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you can't be happy and emo, man. If you're happy, then you must be a preppy or some kind of christian freak....backwards hair and girlpants are not conducive to happiness. You're pensive, forlorn , and unloveable...you are emo, boy.

[Lenor]

Cosmo, unlike you, we are generation Y, which meens were young, dumb, and full or hormones.

Apparently, that does not stop in guys.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you got the dumb part right, and you are full of something, but I wouldn't call it hormones

[Lenor]

SUGAR AND SPICE!

[Cosmo Electrolux]

SUGAR AND SPICE!

if those are the ingredients for worthless, then yeah, I guess you're right.