MOCK WARS 2K7: Round 3 - Results

[Mock Wars Admin]

Chojin VS CaptainBubba
Winner: Chojin (20 to 5)

Orange Juice Bruce VS THE MOCK WARRIOR
Winner: THE MOCK WARRIOR (15 to 10)

And the winner of the Mockery VS THE WORLD grudge match is:
Mockery (16 to 1)

Your Round 4 (Finals) matches are as follows:

Chojin VS THE MOCK WARRIOR
Max Burbank VS Lenor (Grudge match) [IN PROGRESS]
Grislygus VS Gabby Gaga (Grudge match)
WHAT VS Seven Force (Grudge match)


The grudge matches will begin immediately. The date of the final ranked match has been agreed upon between the contestants and will begin this Monday and run through Wednesday.

[DuFresne]

Holy sweet hopping Jesus T. Christ on a pogo stick...it's sort of like the lamest internet supersissy slap fight ever conceived by man. TIMES TWO! The two fights of round three was sort of like a Mock War, but after some kind of vampiric comedy sucking attack, where all the Funny has been bled out.

On the other hand, this third round is a glorious kindness to us all...because the voting for the rest of us doesn't even need to be considered. At all. Not for much more than a minute.

See...we're almost all going to unanimously vote for Orange Juice Bruce and Chojin. Because we all HAVE to vote for Orange Juice Bruce and Chojin. It's not just because they made the slightly less sad attempt in this round, though that does also seem to be the case. But more importantly, because last year's Mock War came down to these two simpering fuckwits. And if the whole thing comes BACK down to the same two simpering fuckwits again and again, it invalidates the entire idea of the Mock War actually being a competition. It's just a series of hoops for the same two shitheads to jump through year after year. It gives us EVERYTHING to look forward to next year...when anything actually resembling comedy and mockery takes yet another swan-graceful header into yet another empty swimming pool...another rigged dive

Fuck it. Why wait for 2008 or the entries of the next Mock War to actually VOTE on the next Mock War. The thing OJB is going to say next year about the asparagus is going to be funny, but Chojin's joke about the third nun is going to totally blow him out of the water. So next year, I vote Chojin in the finals.

OJB v. whoever he was up against
Weiner: OJB

Chojin v. that dude.
Weiner: Chojin

Raise your glasses with me, kids, and let's have a quick toast to the impending twin matched set his and hers death rattles of Choice and Comedy. L'CHAIM!


:six characters

[Chojin]

OJB isn't in the finals, you tit.

[DuFresne]

Duh, you retard. I was pointing out how Jaeger made an ass of himself.

[Zomboid]

He did that before the votes were all counted and I thought that everyone "got" that.

[Orange Juice Bruce]

I SHOULD be in the finals, but a few voters accidentally voted for Mock Warrior. I'm sure they see their mistake. Better luck next time Warrior. :)

[DuFresne]

Oh, I'm sorry Zomboid I didn't know the fun had officially ended. So how does the fact that OJB didn't win not make Jaeger's post more hilarious, exactly? Sure it was misguided before, but now it's officially wrong. My apologies for finding that funny.

[Chojin]

Maybe you could have used your six characters to explain that.

[noob3]

I SHOULD be in the finals, but a few voters accidentally voted for Mock Warrior. I'm sure they see their mistake. Better luck next time Warrior. :)

:lol :lol :lol

[Lenor]

Sorry my fighting sucked.

P.S. Go Get Em'