Good Advice

[MisSFiT]

I read a sign yesterday that changed my life...

It said: "Don't play leapfrog with a Unicorn"

Just thought I'd share my life changing experience, feel free to share yours.

[DeadKennedys]

Peppy told me to do a barrel roll. And I did it. Really helped me avoid enemy fire.

[executioneer]

you can't polish a turd unless it's been bronzed or really heavily shellacced or something

[FartinMowler]

If you have fair skin and red hair don't lay on a rocky beach with your balls exposed :\

[GADZOOKS]

give a dog a bone, leave that dog alone

[Esuohlim]

Instead of trying to sneak a marble rye back into your fiancée's parents' house you should just apologize for your own parents' rude behavior

[Seven Force]

Never turn your back on a chinaman

[executioneer]

don't deal with.. bald cubans

[DeadKennedys]

http://www.violetcrown.com/abdul/images/sxsw2e9.jpg

And that's why you always leave a note!

[Sethomas]

DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

[MattJack]

Despite popular belief, a pregnant woman ain't nothin to fuck with.

[kahljorn]

Instead of trying to sneak a marble rye back into your fiancée's parents' house you should just apologize for your own parents' rude behavior


Damniiiiit JEEEEEEEEEEEERRY

[RaNkeri]

Never place your toaster under the fire alarm. :\

[Fathom Zero]

When building a fire, don't burn green leaves.

[executioneer]

a spoon-full of sugar will help the medicine go down

[MisSFiT]

Don't ever kick a boy in his privates, unless he's trying to rape you.

[executioneer]

that one is bull you sohuld always kick boys in privantes how else will they learn what the world is like

[Darryl]

so we learn to be the kicker or the kickee :(

[executioneer]

or to wear a cup

[Darryl]

http://www.danmarproducts.com/catPictures/9825-black-child.jpg

[Sacks]

Never play cards with a man who's name is the same as a city or state.

[DeadKennedys]

Never trust a man whose last name could be his first.

[FartinMowler]

Don't be a Dick


http://re3.mm-a1.yimg.com/image/1940111091

[Dr. Boogie]

Flammable and inflammable mean pretty much the same thing.

[ArrowX]

It is never wise to look for lucky pennies on the freeway.

[MisSFiT]

Don't be a private dick.

[MockMeAmadeus]

Life is not always about dicks. Whether they private or public be.

[DeadKennedys]

If testicles come together, thine act is homosexual.

[MockMeAmadeus]

:lol Shakespeare

[Fathom Zero]

To get the best results, apply liberally.

[Esuohlim]

Don't tug on Superman's cape, guys

[Fathom Zero]

Don't spit into the wind, either.

[Esuohlim]

Furthermore, don't pull the mask off ol' Lone Ranger :x

[Sacks]

Never mess with the wife of a jealous man.

[executioneer]

wrong song :x

[GADZOOKS]

You can't have your dog and eat it too - Old Chinese Proverb

edit: I KNOW

[DeadKennedys]

Stick On, apply directly to the forehead!

[MisSFiT]

If you shave yourself with a bic razor do not throw rubbing alcohol on yourself afterwards.

[MockMeAmadeus]

Don’t cut a corner at 100 miles an hour in front of the cops. They will demand that you put the corner back.

Prevent death on the roads, drive on the pavement.

If you should get a flat tyre, it is customary for the man to pump first, and then followed by the woman. However, make sure that before you drive off to get out of the car and fix that damn tyre.

Be careful of a woman that points two 38’s at you. She just might have a gun in her purse.

Ok, at least I’m trying. :\

[Cosmo Electrolux]

never trust a woman or an automatic weapon

[MisSFiT]

Ouch!

Wait, didn't we go through this before? :\

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I don't think so. How about this:

never get into a pissing match with a skunk.....I learned that in divorce court.

[Archduke Tips]

Never go to the Hitachi Station looking for power converters.

[DeadKennedys]

Tosche Station

[MockMeAmadeus]

LUKE: Me and my friends were going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters...
OWEN: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now come on, get to it!>:

(Heisted of Wikipedia :))

[executioneer]

guys maybe he's not talking about the same thing you are did you ever think about that

[Perndog]

I never understood why Owen thought picking up power converters was a waste of time. Maybe they're for car stereos or something. You know those teenagers and their loud music.

[JB_Man]

Don't punch the pandas

[MockMeAmadeus]

Don't take good advice.

[MockMeAmadeus]

Punch the Pandas

[DeadKennedys]

Picking up power converters was probably their equivalent of picking up a new muffler for your car or some cd's, followed by wasting time with your friends. Uncle Owen was such a tightass.

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/4149/owenandberurb3.jpg