BUT IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY YET

[Skulhedface]

I figured this is a story and I'm bored so here we go.

Last night we went out to the bars. There's not much else to do on a Thursday night, and everyone else has the same idea, so our circle of friends congregates at this bar.

We get there and it's more or less horrible right off the bat (As soon as I walk in, there's my ex, all smooching it up with her new dumbass boyfriend, but that's not what this story is about). We all sit there and drink our beers, play a few games of pool, when out of nowhere my ex announces that I'm not going to be there on Wednesday so I should take my birthday licks now.

To fill in the backstory, you put your arm against a wooden post and take fists in the bicep equal to the number of years old you're going to be. The two biggest fuckers in town are the ones that administer the licks, and I've seen guys twice my size actually start crying.

Anyway, my ex won't keep her damn mouth shut so I just decided, since I wasn't going to get out of this that I'd take my licks like a man. But at least now I can go out on my birthday this Wednesday without fear of a beating.

I got all 22 of my licks and actually handled it well (maybe having a healthy buzz is what numbed a lot of it).

But then I got the ultimate revenge. Girls get licks too, just on the ass and not the arm. Spankings. After taking all those licks, having my arm look like it was hit like a mack truck, I reminded them that HER birthday was two days after mine, she'd be 21. So she took her licks, she took it well but could not sit down for the rest of the night. :)

The point to this story: None really. Just a story. For the bored.

I woke up with a BAD hangover (they gave me two free shots of Jager after the licks), a bad bruise on my arm, and a smile for knowing my ex probably feels the same pain heh heh heh.

[Generator86]

1. You're only gonna be 22? Damn, you're an young'in.

2. Hangovers from Jagermeister? That's like nectar from the gods, as far as I'm concerned. I've never once had a hangover from that beautiful, BEAUTIFUL opaque liquor.

3. Good for you! Exes(for the most part) always deserve what's coming to them(unless you were a prick, then you get back what you dished out, but somehow I don't think that's the case in your situation).

4. Well, I know it's been said many times before to you, no doubt, but it's pretty much downhill after you hit 21.

Anyways, happy(the word that's opposite of belated[I can't think of it at the moment]) birthday!

[Skulhedface]

1. Yea, may still be young, but since you say it's all downhill after 21, my downhill slide is only a year in the making (tries to be optimistic) :lol

2. I was hung over and VERY dehydrated, which I think was why I DID feel so hung over. Nevertheless I still made it to work, but let's just say that that was one painful day.

3. My ex did get what she deserved, if you paid attention to the other thread :lol

4. Damn it.

[Spectre X]

if this was a story for the bored, why am I even more bored after reading it?

[Cap'n Crunch]

That plain out sucked.

[Skulhedface]

No one forced you to read it, Mr. Popinski.

[Cap'n Crunch]

I know, but it still sucked.

[Skulhedface]

Fair enough.. wanna tell me WHY it sucked?

I'd accept criticism if I was actually trying to write a decent story, but you're criticizing me for putting something I just basically threw on the board. I didn't put much thought into it, I was just telling a story.

[Cap'n Crunch]

You wasted 2 minutes of my time. That is why it sucked.

[SenorSalsa]

WHy diddnt you say "i dont want licks?". See if you were a ladies man like i am you would suggest that they lick your face, and they probably would because girls love you and I.