The Official NBA Playoffs thread

[GAsux]

Yeah so if you don't like sports, you can start your own lame thread about how gay sports are and all that good stuff.

Anyway, my beloved Lakers are on the ropes, but if they can pull one out tomorrow at home, they've got a sporting chance. I think San Antonio is the best team in the league though. Tim Duncan is the man.

As for the Dallas-Sacramento series, what a strange match up. Two blow outs by the Kings, one blow out by the Mavs, and now a nutty double OT game. Weird. The West is definitely the most entertaining and I think the Western Conf Final will determine this years NBA champ.

I haven't even watched much of the East. I keep waiting for Detriot to meltdown but so far they have proven me wrong. I think the Nets are the team to beat though. The Suns should have never traded Jason Kid.

[Anonymous]

Hey, remember those crappy movies that Shaq made? Those movies sure were crappy.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Shaq-Fu and Kazaam, you also forgot about all of those terrible video games.

[Sam]

Kazaam was a crappy movie, not a terrible video game.

[Les Waste]

Shaq-Fu, Charles Barkley's Shut Up and Jam, and Michael Jordan's Adventure in the windy city were all the reasons why Shaquille O'Neal, Charles Barkely, and Michael Jordan were never in any of the NBA Jam games, because of licensing.

[Black Flag]

Webber is out. :(

I've been hoping the Kings would take it this year, but I don't think they can beat LA or San Antonio without Chris Webber. I do think they can still beat Dallas however.

[James]

Fuck basketball. NBA Street is a fucking awesome basketball game. I'll take any of you on with my giant alien robot. >:

[Les Waste]

Nobody can beat me and my Yeti in NBA Street >:

[GAsux]

Losing CWebb hurts. But both the Kings and Mavs have five guys that can put up 20 a night. That series is definitely not for those who appreciate good fundamentals and sound defense. Every game is going to be a shoot out to the end.

I think if the Spurs get past L.A., they'll be on the fast track. Unless Dallas/Sac. can shoot the lights out against them and put up 115 points a game.

[Black Flag]

I'd love to have the Pistons beat the Lakers in the finals...that'd be beautiful.

[AChimp]

Space Jam was quite possibly one of the shittiest movies ever.

[Anonymous]

Indeed.

We can't forget to mention Dennis Rodman, either, what with Double Take and Simon Sez. So which of those three has the worst movie career.

[Mockery]

This just in:

Jose Canseco will soon be writing a book about the darkest secrets of the NBA. Rumor has it, he will expose the truth about the cock fights that they hold underneath the courts while dining on bald eagles.

[Les Waste]

Space Jam was quite possibly one of the shittiest movies ever.

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=3371

>:

[Captain Robo]

Fuck you both. I wanted to make a thread about how shitty space jam was.

[Les Waste]

YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE >:

[GAsux]

Go Lakers.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Fuck the Lakers.

The Spurs may be the team in the West, but Robinson is becoming more and more of a liability. There's only so much Duncan can do.

I KNOW it'll be a team from the West who wins it all, but I'd LIKE to see the Nets do it.

[GAsux]

If I wasn't from L.A., I wouldn't like the Lakers either. Nobody likes a winner.

[kellychaos]

Webber is out. :(

I've been hoping the Kings would take it this year, but I don't think they can beat LA or San Antonio without Chris Webber. I do think they can still beat Dallas however.

Dear Mr. Chris Webber,

Thank you for helping to screw up the University of Michigan's basketball program for the next couple of years and then lying about it. I hate you. Have a nice day. >:

[Generator86]

God-dammit!!! How the hell could San Antonio have let the Lakers take two in a row from them? I mean, both of the games in L.A. didn't even LOOK like the Spurs from the previous two games. As much as I love David Robinson, and I have since he was a rookie, it's good that this is his last year. He's maybe 60% of what he used to be. I'm still gonna miss him, though.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

If I wasn't from L.A., I wouldn't like the Lakers either. Nobody likes a winner.

It has nothing to do with that, I had them pegged to still go all the way throughout most of the season, simply because they know how to win when it's important. I likewise think that Kobe Bryant is now the best ball player in the leauge, hands down.

What I don't like is Shaquille O'Neal. I think he's a big cry baby, and were he not 10 feet tall and 600 pounds, he wouldn't be nearly as effective a player as he has been. I think Rick Fox is a punk, and despite by admiration for him, I think Phil Jackson is highly overrated (as are most winning coaches, of course).

[GAsux]

Kev,
I can think of ten guys off the top of my head who cry ten times more than Shaq. Shaq never bitches about calls. No team in the entire league complains more about officiating than the Kings. Which is ironic, because they are such poor free throw shooters.

Regardless, I don't think Shaq is a bad player at all. For a man his size, he has excellent foot work. He is a competent passer and can dominate any single player and most double teams presented to him. Remember the days when people used to purposely foul Shaq to put away game? Those days are gone. Honestly, is there a better center in the league?

I'm not a fan of Rick Fox either, although he's a solid defender. Robert Horry is past his prime as well. No disrespect, just the fact of the matter. I also think the Lakers should have kept van Exel. He bring much more to the table than Fischer does.

[Generator86]

LAKERS=GONE!!!!!

And honestly, fuck Nick Van Exel. That worthless piece of shit grew up and played H.S. basketball in my hometown, and all he's done is bitch about how tough life was for him, even though he got a scholarship to the most exclusive school in Kenosha, just for his basketball abilities, while his mother "worked hard" at Chrysler, making around $18 an hour. What a fucking crybaby pussy bitch.

I'd root for the Mavs if it wasn't for him.

[GAsux]

Yeah, about that. See I didn't really say that I wanted to make out with Nick Van Exel. I didn't even say that he'd be a swell guy to share a malt liquored beverage with.

I was actually just pointing out that he's a pretty solid basketball player at the point guard position and the Lakers would have been better off keeping him. I don't really care if he beats his baby's momma, or sells crack to kids.

As for the Lakers, these things happen. I guess you can't win EVERY year. You know, it's ironic that the Lakers have won more championships consecutively than some franchices have in their combined history.

[KevinTheOmnivore]

Kev,
I can think of ten guys off the top of my head who cry ten times more than Shaq. Shaq never bitches about calls.

Right, but as soon as the team started losing, rather than being a man and a team leader, rather than confronting the Laker B-team and rallying them, he smeared them in the press.

Also, why did he wait so long to have his toe surgery? Is pre-season and camp unimportant? Maybe the results of this series with the Spurs will make him think otherwise next time. A big reason they couldn't get things going this season is because they started out w/o Shaq, and then never got to mesh with him.

Perhaps "cry baby" was the wrong use of words, but I think "selfish" fits him well.

Regardless, I don't think Shaq is a bad player at all. For a man his size, he has excellent foot work. He is a competent passer and can dominate any single player and most double teams presented to him.

Don't get me wrong, I think Shaq is one of the most dominant players the game has ever seen, but I think size and muscle have a lot to do with this. I'll give you the fact that he's decent on his feet for his size, but that doesn't make him Hakeem or Kareem. I think that right now however, Tim Duncan is without question better than Shaq. He certainly has more raw talent than Shaq.

Remember the days when people used to purposely foul Shaq to put away game? Those days are gone. Honestly, is there a better center in the league?

Right now, as I said, Duncan.

On the fouling-- isn't this also attributable to rule changes in the NBA?? I thought there was a reason hack-a-Shaq became less prevolent, besides the fact that he became a little bit better a free throws.

[Hobo Renee]

Hahaha, the Lakers are fucking out of the playoffs! Now all I need is for Mike Bibby to get back his game and Sacramento will finally be known for something good.

[GAsux]

This would be about that time of year that Kings fan perform their annual ritual of coming up with excuses as to why their beloved team didn't make it to the finals. I'm sure it has everything do to with C Webb, and absolultely nothing to do with inability to play defense.

Sacramento Kings = :(

[Generator86]

You've got to admit, though, that losing CWebb was a HUGE setback for the Kings. What are they gonna do, have fucking Vlade Divac dominate in the paint? Please. You can't just rely on Bibby and Petrovic to light it up from outside all throughout the game. I must admit that tonight Jim Jackson was helping out with pulling up the slack, but too little, too late for the Kings.

It's going to be one fuck of an interesting series, though. I know that Dirk Nowitzki lit the Spurs up during the regular season, but as we all know, the playoffs are an entirely different story. Eh, one way or another, go Spurs!

[Evil Robot]

GAsux, YOU ARE SO FUCKING DEAD. I AM GOING TO STALK YOU AND KILL YOUR FAMILY WHILE YOU ARE TIED TO A RADIATOR. I WANT YOU TO FEEL PAIN TO NO END. IF NEED BE I WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE FOR THREE YEARS OF BRUTAL TORTURE.
I HATE YOU THAT MUCH FOR STARTING THIS THREAD AND I HOPE YOUR MOTHER DIES OF BREAST CANCER.

[GAsux]

Evil Robot,
Thank you for giving me the attention that my parents never did. Can I get a hug with all that foreplay?


For the record, I'm not saying that losing C Webb didn't hurt. It surely did. But still, if the Kings could play some D things might have been different. It's plagued them for three years. They've got an outstanding offense. They just can't defend. Van Exel averaged 12 ppg in the regular season, but went for 25+ ppg against the Kings off the bench.

I still think the Spurs are probably the best team in the league. As much as I hated to admit it, Timmy is the man and he definitely validated his MVP selection against the Lakers. I suppose I'll probably pull for the Spurs too. It's less painful when you can at least say you got beat by the Champs!

Robot,
Call me. We'll make out.

[kellychaos]

Jason Kidd >:

[GAsux]

That's what Phoenix fans have been saying to two years. You think they'd like to have the Marbury trade to do over?

[kellychaos]

Well, we're going to New Jersey for the next one. Aren't there some kind of itialian stereotypes out there we can employ to say ... break a wrist or something if he doesn't wise up? :)

[Generator86]

And the Spurs choke. AGAIN.