Anal Sex <insert thoughts here>

[banshee]

what are your thoughts?


personally, I am a fan...I just had my very first few orgasms this weekend and it was from anal (yes I've had normal sex before, yes I've masturbated, never been able to get off...but at 19 years old I finally had an orgasm and it was from being fucked in the ass)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

You can't masturbate yourself to orgasm? :eek That's incredibly sad.

[Jixby Phillips]

HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!! :lol :lol :lol

[Pub Lover]

I couldn't masturbate myself to orgasm up until a few months ago, then Noob3 explained the mechanics of it to me, & I got it first try after that. :wank
<-- See!

[AChimp]

I THINK BANSHEE WANTS US TO INSERT MORE THAN OUR THOUGHTS HERE. :lol

[Jixby Phillips]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T UNDERSTAND

[banshee]

HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!! :lol :lol :lol

eh?


and you people aren't telling me what you think of anal sex...come on, stay on topic here

[FS]

My policy? One-way street.

[Carnivore]

http://home.attbi.com/~carnivorous/Exit.jpg

[Helm]

Sex is for the weak. Orgasm is for animals. :sexnazi

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!!"

Women should be able to orgasm with masturbation...

[kellychaos]

http://www.gneil.com/images/products/1slN2356.jpg

http://www.gneil.com/images/products/1slN2365.jpg

http://www.gneil.com/images/products/1slN2371.jpg

[executioneer]

http://www.speedysigns.com/images/osha/large/DANGER75.gif

:rolleyes

-willie

[AChimp]

http://www.mcdermottlight.com/images/sign%20men%20work.JPG

:wank

[Jeanette X]

"HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!!"

Women should be able to orgasm with masturbation...

Its mighty tricky for us. Not anywhere near as easy as it is for guys.

[sadie]

a few times, i've orgasmed without even touching myself. :)

[Jeanette X]

a few times, i've orgasmed without even touching myself. :)

Damn, you're lucky. That doesn't happen with most people.

[banshee]

"HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!!"

Women should be able to orgasm with masturbation...

Its mighty tricky for us. Not anywhere near as easy as it is for guys.

exactly...and for some reason it seems to be impossible for me....

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Well then go fuck yourself... up the ass. :)

[banshee]

I will...that's not as much fun as someone else fucking me in the ass, but it'll do

[James]

exactly...and for some reason it seems to be impossible for me....

It helps if you're not ugly. :lol

[Helm]

That wasn't funny :lol

[Anonymous]

It's fun. :rave

[Jeanette X]

"HES PROBABLY A WOMAN OR SOMETHIGN !!!!"

Women should be able to orgasm with masturbation...

Its mighty tricky for us. Not anywhere near as easy as it is for guys.

exactly...and for some reason it seems to be impossible for me....

Try doing Kegels or using a vibrator.

[banshee]

what are Kegels?

[kellychaos]

Kegelmaster 2000 (http://www.urinary-incontinence-sexual-dysfunction-help.com/kegelmaster_pictures.html)

[Captain Robo]

SODOMY MAKES YOU GO TO A BAD PLACE WHERE YOU WILL BE FURTHER SODOMIZED :O

[Protoclown]

I WANT TO FIND A GIRL WHO WANTS ME TO STICK IT IN HER BUTT :(

[executioneer]

LOL JESUS THINKS YOU'RE A JERK CAPTAIN ROBOT :lol

-willie

[MrAdventure]

i want a girl to wear my letterman's jacket (it's for me being a football star) because identity subversion is sexy

[banshee]

I WANT TO FIND A GIRL WHO WANTS ME TO STICK IT IN HER BUTT :(

dude, I'm sure Richmond is full of girls who would love for you to fuck 'em in the ass....and, if not, you could always visit Roanoke

[James]

Proto may be lonely, but he still has his standards. He doesn't want some ass-slut leftover from some other guy who's already worn her out and loosened her up. Right Proto?

Proto?

P... Proto?

[Jeanette X]

what are Kegels?

Exercises to stregthen the vaginal muscles. Makes it easier to come and gives you stronger orgasms. Also good at preventing incontinence.

Go to these links for instructions:

http://www.mypleasure.com/education/sexed/kegels_for_better_sexual_health.asp

http://www.epinions.com/kifm-review-53B0-EBB9557-38EE5206-prod4

[Jeanette X]

Kegelmaster 2000 (http://www.urinary-incontinence-sexual-dysfunction-help.com/kegelmaster_pictures.html)

http://www.mypleasure.com/store/assets/product_images/0580.jpg

The Pelvic Flexer. FDA-approved design.

Whoopsie. Double post. :(

[DonkeyMolester]

Kegelmaster?
Oh the humanity :lol

[HickMan]

I'll never do it up the brown eye, I heard it makes girls poopie everwhere. And when you get it out, you got a stinky dick. What if the hole closed? What will you do? WHAT WILL YOU DO? I'll play it safe and not go for the dirty tunnel.

[Biledriver]

Anal Beads? Just remember to pull them out slowly!

I'd give a girl anal if she so well desired.....

[Bod]

Use lubrication because love doesn't oil the wheels of your back passage.

[HickMan]

Still, why would you want to stick your dick in some uncharted areas. Too dangerious. TOO risky. Besides, who would wanna have a poopie penis?

[Cybernetico]

and it was from being fucked in the ass


Are you a girl?

:/

[wreckreation]

this isnt a flame board

[Anonymous]

this isnt a flame board

[Jixby Phillips]

this isnt a flame board

[Cybernetico]

OK

[Ooner]

Still, why would you want to stick your dick in some uncharted areas. Too dangerious. TOO risky. Besides, who would wanna have a poopie penis?

It's cleaner than you'd think.

Unless she's got one on deck when you get started

Yay for ass-dicking.

[Cybernetico]

It's not really clean.

While my mom was in nursing school, some guy had this tube in his rectum. The guy coughed and the tube shot out onto the yucky and dusty floor. Then the docter put it back in without cleaning it claiming "it can't get much dirtier"

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Is your mom over 100 years old? I mean, back in the 1800s they used to do shit like that because they didn't know better. :p That's probably the worst Doctor ever.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

...

[HickMan]

I still don't see the point of anal sex. >: You people are sick.

[BlueOatmeal]

Boy all this anal sex talk got me all hot and bothered!


Anyhoooo I was on the somethingawful forums reading about funny sex-pereinces (muhahahahah clever) and it came (hehehehe "came", so godamn clever I shoot myself!11) to this story about a guy fucking a girl in the ass. Well it seems he pumped a little to hard and the little hole on his peepee head got split on the sharp little "assbone" (fuck you I don't know anatomy)

Doesn't that make you shit yourself with laughter?


HAHAHAHA Shit comes out of the ass and the ass is used for anal sex! Good Lord I think I'm going to cry!

[Jeanette X]

Thats impossible. The tailbone doesn't enter the colon.

[BlueOatmeal]

I didn't know if it was true or not, I just read it on somethingawful and decided to share it.

[banshee]

and it was from being fucked in the ass


Are you a girl?

:/

yes, I'm a girl

[Esuohlim]

Girls don't go on the Internet :rolleyes

[wreckreation]

ugly ones do ;)

[Jeanette X]

ugly ones do ;)
>:

[Freakmandu]

*shakes head and sighs*

The blind leading the blind!


Very amusing to read, but if this level is of sexual nous is indicative of the general population I despair for the future of mankind.

[HickMan]

I want to know the reason of wanting to do it up the poopie hole?
I just don't see the point.

[Esuohlim]

CHANGE YOUR FUCKING AVATAR AGAIN. THAT ONE'S GETTING OLD. >:

[Freakmandu]

I want to know the reason of wanting to do it up the poopie hole?
I just don't see the point.

The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings - you never had your anus played with? Im not talking penetration here, just stroking or tickling. Combine it with oral sex and its pretty mindblowing stuff.

So far as penetrative anal sex is concerned - its a totally different sensation to vaginal sex. Unless youve actually done it, it would be very difficult to describe - but it is incredibly erotic and pleasurable. Done properly, there is no pain - although a slight discomfort may be experienced while the sphincter is relaxing.

Fecal matter isnt a problem if you wear a condom, and in any event a recently evacuated bowel is quite clean, and contains less bacteria than your mouth.

Anal beads are excellent fun - time each bead's withdrawal with the throb of the orgasm and things get very intense.

The "point" of anal sex is the same "point" as oral sex. In effect, there is no point - its just bloody good fun.

[Sam]

:bestthread

[aeQea]

..

[aeQea]

..

[Protoclown]

You fucking suck.

[aeQea]

..

[Jeanette X]

Freakmandu, that was very informative. I look foward to you sharing your wisdom here. Welcome to the boards. :)

[JeefGyle]

I wanna have anal with my girlfriend, but I know she never would. I have joked about it before to get her stance on it, and she has straight up told me she never would. I would also like to try filming our sex, but she says she won't do that either. Anyone have any ideas for persuading her? No I don't want to hide the camera somewhere.

(Please exclude any forms of violence, drugs, or rape)

[Jeanette X]

Maybe if you had her to peg your ass with a dildo and showed her how much you enjoyed it she would.

[aeQea]

..

[Ooner]

I wanna have anal with my girlfriend, but I know she never would. I have joked about it before to get her stance on it, and she has straight up told me she never would. I would also like to try filming our sex, but she says she won't do that either. Anyone have any ideas for persuading her? No I don't want to hide the camera somewhere.

(Please exclude any forms of violence, drugs, or rape)

GHB or Rohypnol

Because those aren't drugs.

Or you're trying to be funny... and failing.

I'd suggest taking Jeanette's suggestion seriously. Maybe not a dildo, but next time she gives you head, grab some lube and let her do a little finger stuff at the same time. Then it's your turn. Maybe she'll dig it, and you'll get some. Maybe she won't but you still get some fun fingered blowjobbery. Win/win.

[aeQea]

..

[Esuohlim]

OMG. PAUSE. (NO HOMO).

>:

[Protoclown]

In my mind's eye, aeQae is snapping his girlish fingers in a "Z" shape and standing defiantly with his hand on his hip with an "I don't think so!" look upon his elfin features.

[Cap'n Crunch]

I wanna have anal with my girlfriend, but I know she never would. I have joked about it before to get her stance on it, and she has straight up told me she never would. I would also like to try filming our sex, but she says she won't do that either. Anyone have any ideas for persuading her? No I don't want to hide the camera somewhere.

(Please exclude any forms of violence, drugs, or rape)

Set up a hidden camera, blow dry ice in her face, and get anal while she is passed out.

[aeQea]

..

[Protoclown]

You're a heinous cunt dripping.

[Sam]

Anal sex at noon taxes Lana

[Esuohlim]

OMG THAT CAN'T BE A PALINDROME. IT DOESN'T READ THE SAME BACKWARDS. :rolleyes

Come on, Rongi. You know you want to say it. :rolleyes :rolleyes

:rolleyes

[Rongi]

http://www.laze.net/images/rains/mick-funk.jpg

[Les Waste]

L O L

aeQea, you fucking suck. The internet and life as a whole would be more enjoyable and fulfilling if you took the time to figure out how to get jokes. Getting jokes will not only help you understand humor you currently aren't smart enough to get, but it just might also help you to understand yourself a little better.

;)

[kellychaos]

This thread turned out to be more gay than I, in my wildest dreams, could ever have imagined was possible.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

And if anyone has wild, gay dreams, it's you.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was having anal sex with my sister, and I accidently ripped her rectal lining. She bled all over the place and we had to go to the emergency room. She had to have surgery and couldn't sit down for a month. But we look back on it now and just laugh.

[kellychaos]

And if anyone has wild, gay dreams, it's you.

Serious gay inquiry disguised as a juvenile taunt. The door's unlocked ... step out of the closet. I'm not here to judge.

[Esuohlim]

That's just a more sophisticated way of saying "NUH-UH! YOU'RE THE GAY ONE! >:"

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Plus, my joke actually made me laugh. :/

[wreckreation]

At least someone did then!

[Anonymous]

I'll admit it made me laugh :<

[wreckreation]

but you really do have wild gay dreams. :(

[Grim Symphony]

My first experience with anal sex was quite enlightening. I was seeing this one guy (amazing lover, but turned out to be a jerk...just my luck) and we were having sex, and he pulled out and pressed it up the other hole. He asked if it was ok to try, and I was so horney at that point I would have done anything he asked. So he took it slow and easy, and though a little alien, I really got into it.

My theory is dont knock it if you havent tried it at least twice (it might not have been done right the first time)

[wreckreation]

you're not a very good liar. or you are really loose.

[kellychaos]

Plus, my joke actually made me laugh. :/

It made me laugh too ... damn it! :/

[Esuohlim]

IS GRIM SYMPHONY A WOMAN? :eek

IS SHE A GOTHIC WOMAN? :eek :eek

[Grim Symphony]

LMAO
A woman, yes.
A gothic women, not really, but I have been called that often.

As for being a lier or really loose, I am neither. Perhaps someone just has a complex where their cynicism rules their life and they have no control over what they say or do.

[Helm]

The bacteria that resides in your cunt shouldnt be carried to your anus, for you risk infection. And vice versa. You stupid bitch.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"As for being a lier or really loose, I am neither. Perhaps someone just has a complex where their cynicism rules their life and they have no control over what they say or do."

I thinhk you are a liar too. You need a ton of lube from what I've heard.

[wreckreation]

From hearing stories... and personal experience, i know you either are really loose or a damn liar. Lube is a big plus, but not necessary. However, he must've had a tiny, finger sized dick or you'd be in some pain. Considerable stretching must go on before you go any further.

[AcjBizar]

you are a liar too. You need a ton of lube from what I've heard.

You either heard wrong or were mistold.

[Ooner]

you are a liar too. You need a ton of lube from what I've heard.

You either heard wrong or were mistold.

Another loose one? :/ :lol

Maybe Grim's vagina was just gushing and lubed everything up enough

But anyways. Lube. For serious. :(

[AcjBizar]

Another loose one? :/ :lol



You'd have to ask my ex.

[chrissi]

Well I've had anal sex a few times. The (was gonna be) first time we warmed up to it very slowly... him probing me with his fingers first, very cautiously.... it (the fingers) kind of hurt, there were spots that particularly hurt for some reason, but eventually they went away.... haha, actually the FIRST time, we COULDN'T GET IT IN :p. It just hurt too much and I felt like I was going to fucking tear. Apparently we thought we were using lots of lube but we weren't...

But then we tried again a few months later and warmed up to it the same but used about twice as much lube... it just slid right in :D it didn't particularly hurt but I did have to ask him to stop a few times to let me relax. It didn't really feel so great for me, but it wasn't too unpleasant, either, so I have no objection to it.

I used to be really (no pun intended) anal about it, I just didn't want to think about anal sex ever but I realized that was very closed-minded. You have to at least consider the possibility that it isn't completely disgusting :p That's what I did and now I'm fine with it.

Since then we have about 3 or 4 times.... each time we need less and less lube. The last time we did it without lube and it didn't hurt (no he's not small, that's not why :p). So yeah, my view on anal is... if you like it, you like it. If you don't, you don't. But it's stupid to object to others liking it. It's not a disgusting activity. I can say that my boyfriend's dick didn't have a single bit of shit on it after anal :p It didn't smell funny either... well, maybe a little.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Wow, he must have split your ass open. You should still probably need lube the fourth time unless he worked you like a whore.

[wreckreation]

do you even have any experience on this issue?
you don't always need lube. thats just what the guides say for the first timer scared stiff girls who got convinced into trying it by their b/f's because they want to please their mates out of fear they will leave. :lol

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Actually, no I don't have any anal sex experience, nor do I want anyway.

[Protoclown]

You should probably break up with your boyfriend right soon, then.

[chrissi]

Oh uh. I should have mentioned that there was lube from the condom. So, I don't really know if you can do it without any lube at all but there wasn't very much on the condom... y'know, just a regular lubricated condom. It didn't hurt though.