Masturbation injuries

[CaptainBubba]

At least 3 big ones come to mind with me.

1. When I was 12: I somehow injured myself on the cap area and it hurt so bad that I told my parents I zipped my dick up accidently so that I could go to the doctor. He said it was bruised pretty badly and to leave it alone. I couldn't touch it for 1 week,

2. When I was 14: I chaffed it so badly from a 4 in a row pleasure-myself-a-thon that it was pink and raw and I screamed my ass off when i got in the shower. I couldn't touch it for two weeks.

3. Two weeks ago: I have big calices on my palms from weight lifting and sometimes hard dead skin hangs off where the calices are. One of these pieces of dead skin lacerated my dick as I was masturbating, causing massive bleeding and excrutiating pain. It still hurts a little.

I like masturbating. :)

[Jeanette X]

Maybe you should use some lubricant...

[Jebus]

Dude, what's with calling it the "cap," it's the head. And I've never injured my penis. I try to take care of it.

[noob3]

I once sliced off my penis to masturbate. Hey, how else was it going to get into my anus?

[CaptainBubba]

You're all just jealous. >:

[Esuohlim]

I irritated it too much and some pus came out of it once. :(

I hope you got the joke. :(

Cap'n Crunch didn't. :( :(

[FS]

You need to start showing your penis love and respect.

[sadie]

my penis especially loves being doused with rigor mortis sauce (http://www.hothothot.com/cgi/Products.cgi?index1=sku_number&search_on1=hs179).

[FS]

Because of the name, I at first thought it was some kind of prolonged erection tonic, and wondered how you'd use it without getting ideas of necrophilia into your head.

[Jeanette X]

Background: Priapism is the presence of a persistent, usually painful, erection of the penis. Although frequently idiopathic, priapism is associated with some systemic diseases. Priapism also is associated with the use of intracavernosal injections of medications to treat impotence.

Pathophysiology: Priapism is a persistent erection of the corpora cavernosa of the penis, originating from disturbances to the mechanisms that control penile detumescence. This process affects only the corpora cavernosa. The corpora spongiosum of the glans penis and surrounding the urethra remain flaccid.

Two types of priapism are described. Arterial high-flow priapism usually is secondary to a rupture of a cavernous artery and unregulated flow into the lacunar spaces. This type of priapism is usually not painful. Veno-occlusive priapism is usually due to full and unremitting corporeal veno-occlusion. Prolonged veno-occlusive priapism results in fibrosis of the penis and a loss of the ability to achieve an erection. Significant changes at the cellular level are noted within 24 hours in veno-occlusive priapism, whereas arterial priapism is not associated with fibrotic change.


Frequency:


In the US: Arterial high-flow priapism is a rare entity and is usually secondary to penetrating penile trauma or a blunt perineal injury. Patients with sickle cell disease are prone to veno-occlusive priapism. In one study, 38-42% of patients with sickle cell disease reported at least one episode of priapism.
Mortality/Morbidity:

Deaths have been reported in patients with sickle cell disease presenting with priapism, but cause of death usually is not related to the priapism per se but to complications from the underlying disease process.
Morbidity is related to long-term impotence, primarily with veno-occlusive priapism, when diagnosis and therapy have been delayed.


If you aren't careful, you might really hurt it for good.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

This thread is fucking brutal. I have never once hurt my penis. I keep good care of it. >:

[CaptainBubba]

THEN YOU AREN'T DOING IT RIGHT BITCH. >:

[wreckreation]

I once bruised my penis trying to fit it into my vagina.

[sadie]

yah, fs, but it's hot-hot-hot and you can't get any stiffer. :P

and :love hermaphrodite. :love

[Helm]

My penis is stronger than god.

[Anonymous]

Noob is funnier than me ;(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Carrot Top is funnier than you.

[Anonymous]

Zing.

[Protoclown]

ONE TIME I MASTURDABATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AND I GOT RUN OVER BY A CAR DOES THAT COUNT LOL

[Captain Robo]

WHAT IS MASTURBATE?

[sadie]

My penis is stronger than god.
omg. :(

[Ninjavenom]

The girls claim that having sex with me is like fucking a steel girder of PAIN. >:

[Helm]

The girls claim that having sex with me is like fucking a steel girder of PAIN.

Yoda taught you well.

[CaptainBubba]

OMG YOU PEOPLE JUST DUN GET IT! GRRR! >: >: I AM SO FUCKING PISSED AT ALL OF YOU GUYS!!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!! :shakingfist

But seriously, I dunno bout you fellas but after a hard day of doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing I like to materdbate, and I like to do it in a violently unrelenting and vicious fashion. Sometimes I eat a bowl of oatmeal afterward.

Proto: DID THE CAR RUN OVER YOUR FAT BLACK COCK?

[kellychaos]

:meat <- To Proto for your persistence in getting the job done. :)

[Biledriver]

Not from Masturbation, but oversexing caused me to cum blood one time....

hehehe....

[Helm]

My penis is stronger than god.
omg. :(

Yes, exactly. Praise it. And then bring me a beer.

[Geggy]

his one time when i was 14, I was jerking off with my penis too close to a playboy magazine, i accidently gave it a paper cut. The scar is still there.

[sadie]

no problemo on the praise, helm. ;)
and maybe, just maybe, i'll bring you a beer after you MOW THE FUCKING LAWN and PICK UP YOUR GODDAMNED STINKY SOCKS.

[Helm]

http://www.sylpher.com/helm/Image087.jpg

[sadie]

:love so get your own beer, dear.

[Zosimus]

you guys make my dick hurt! :x

[Rongi]

ONE TIME I WAS MASTURBATING AND A SPANISH GUY CUT ME AND STOLE MY WALLET :lol

[Cybernetico]

heh

Thi is one of my "no comment" threads

[wreckreation]

Thank you for posting. :)

[Cybernetico]

http://www.ncaabbs.com/newgraemlins/sloth.jpg

[wreckreation]

http://www.angelfire.com/ab7/flashfanatic/masterchief.jpg

[BlueOatmeal]

One day I was masterbating and when I reached my peak at a record 5 seconds I streched my legs out and got a horrible cramp and couldn't move for a good few minutes.


So there I am on my bed, limp penis in my hand, covered in semen hoping that nobody decides to come in my room and see whats going on.


Nobody did so I cleaned up and continued on my shameful life.

[SisterOFMercy]

:)

[Cybernetico]

My penis was chopped off in a truffle shuffle accident


Poor Secret Squirrell has never been the same since