Geggy
May 29th, 2003, 12:31 PM
Last weekend, I visited a friend in philadelphia. The original plan was for us to go camping and biking in west virginia but was dropped due to weather. He still lives with his parents so I had no other choice but to sleep over their house for 4 days. The family is strictly conservative jewish and follows long list of rules to live by. I hadn't had a clue of what the rules were, i didn't even know they had rules. I end up breaking three rules, anyway. They were...
1. I had a bowl of cereal with a spoon i picked out from the meat silverware tray. Little did I know they seperate silverwares for two different food groups, one tray is for meat which represents death. another is for dairy which represents life. Death spoon scooping the life out of honey nuts cheerios surely got them aggravated.
2. After a traditional friday evening jewish family dinner, we all kicked back and watched a movie. I was the last person to hit the sack. Beforehand, i noticed they had left the lights on in every room. I was like, 'what the fuck are they doing wasting electricity?' so i went into every room and turned off all the lights. next morning, his parents came into the basement where i slept, kicking and screaming. Shouting along the line of 'you're not supposed to turn the fucking lights off until the next day, you catholic heathen!' i guess there are reasons for them being cheap, to be able to afford to pay for electricity on every friday night.
3. I walked into the living room where my friend's 20 year old sister were chilling by herself. I decided to join her to watch tv. As i was just sitting down, she walked right out of the room without saying anything. I took it personally. Later on I found out a guy and a girl aren't supposed to be in the same room of the house alone. jewish people are much sicker than i originally thought.
I told them they should've had a handout for every non jewish person who walks into the house. They said it would be 80 pages long, they would break some rules before they even finish reading the list of rules. thanks to the jews, i'm going straight to hell when i die, all because of the death spoon.
1. I had a bowl of cereal with a spoon i picked out from the meat silverware tray. Little did I know they seperate silverwares for two different food groups, one tray is for meat which represents death. another is for dairy which represents life. Death spoon scooping the life out of honey nuts cheerios surely got them aggravated.
2. After a traditional friday evening jewish family dinner, we all kicked back and watched a movie. I was the last person to hit the sack. Beforehand, i noticed they had left the lights on in every room. I was like, 'what the fuck are they doing wasting electricity?' so i went into every room and turned off all the lights. next morning, his parents came into the basement where i slept, kicking and screaming. Shouting along the line of 'you're not supposed to turn the fucking lights off until the next day, you catholic heathen!' i guess there are reasons for them being cheap, to be able to afford to pay for electricity on every friday night.
3. I walked into the living room where my friend's 20 year old sister were chilling by herself. I decided to join her to watch tv. As i was just sitting down, she walked right out of the room without saying anything. I took it personally. Later on I found out a guy and a girl aren't supposed to be in the same room of the house alone. jewish people are much sicker than i originally thought.
I told them they should've had a handout for every non jewish person who walks into the house. They said it would be 80 pages long, they would break some rules before they even finish reading the list of rules. thanks to the jews, i'm going straight to hell when i die, all because of the death spoon.