The Apostrophe - Grammars Outcast

[Ninjavenom]

Why is it that the use of the apostrophe has declined over the past years? What is so hard about typing that one extra key? Is the rule too hard, maybe? "How do i know where to put it?" a young moron may find himself asking one day. Gee, it's not like it's been drilled into his brain since first grade that it shows ownership, now has it? Oh, is that, like, when someone owns something, you put it in their name BEFORE THE "S"?

Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK? Is it that fucking hard to use that little tickmark in a word? Shit, people aren't even using it in their signs and advertisements anymore. If Edna owns the cafe, it's Edna's, not EDNAS.

Or, what about the guy that abuses the shit out of the apostrophe? If there's plurality involved, he just chunks the ' before the "s" at the end. Boy, do i sure wish this guy well. It's Goats, not Goat's. A pack of wild mountain GOATS, not a pack of wild mountain GOAT'S.

OR COMMA HATER. I HATE COMMA HATER. What is so goddamn tough about using the tiny little tickmarks in your everyday language that makes you desire to write so it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO READ? If i had a nickel for every review i had to add an apostrophe or comma to, i sure as hell wouldn't be working for free anymore. >:

Or, what about I DON'T CAPITALIZE THINGS GUY? Die, die, die, die, die. I hope that I DON'T CAPITALIZE THINGS GUY festers in his own vomit as he lays in his death bed, suffering from a horrible case of Leprosy and Severe Butt Rot.

:explode

[noob3]

ur views on the world are too cynical for my classy humorical tasties

[executioneer]

lol, grammar's outcast :lol

-willie

[noob3]

When NinjaVenom first came to the boards, I was going to make a character to make fun of him. I had an awsome name planned out, I forgot what it was. It was like SamaruiDart or something gay. Yeah, it wasn't awsome. But neither are you.

And I'm awsome. Inside.

[executioneer]

:(

-willie

[FS]

I wish I could kill all people who use a capital letter at the start of every word, or even type in alternating caps, to be "different". I'd like to throw sharp metal models of capital letters at them.

[Spectre X]

I'd like to stuff the wooden models with a lot of splinters of the words that they mis-spelled down the stupid throats of those stupid sons of bitches.

[Secret Agent Vomit]

I hate it when people tell you not to type in caps because it's improper "netiquette".

That is SO retarded! :lol

[FS]

People who use the word "netiquette" should be beaten to death by a large man holding a teacup in his left hand, with his pinky pointing up.

[Pub Lover]

I wish I could kill all people who use a capital letter at the start of every word.
:(

[Anonymous]

i was just going to say :<

[MLE]

People who use the word "netiquette" should be beaten to death by a large man holding a teacup in his left hand, with his pinky pointing up.

:lol

[WorthlessLiar]

I think it's punctuations outcast.

[The Retro Kat]

People don't even realize what the apostraphe means, anymore. It's used to show missing text and letters. When we use it in the possesive, for example, it shows missing hi from his or her from hers. In old English, they used to say, that is Bob his book. Then they started saying Bob's. Or that is Sally hers tampon. Then it became Sally's tampon. It's not that hard of a concept, if people would just realize that, perhaps essays and such would be much better and less pissing me off.

[Mike]

Ninjavenom, stop being a whiny little bitch. If the meaning of a statement is obvious, whether or not it adheres to textbook grammar is beside the point. Does it really offend you that much? Do you feel so compelled to protect the sanctity of the English language that it gets your panties all in a bunch when you see a misplaced apostrophe or two? Loser.

[sadie]

mike, your mere presence is offensive. shut up and get the fuck out of here, you sniveling little bitch.

also, i'm so emotional and shit about this whole apostrophe-support thread that i can't even respond. i shall. let me get myself together tonight, as i sing rock and blues for the drunk wedding party ON THE LAKE and drink lots of CHAMPAGNE. venom: :love

[Immortal Goat]

"How do i know where to put it?" a young moron may find himself asking one day.


Or, what about I DON'T CAPITALIZE THINGS GUY? Die, die, die, die, die. I hope that I DON'T CAPITALIZE THINGS GUY festers in his own vomit as he lays in his death bed, suffering from a horrible case of Leprosy and Severe Butt Rot.

:explode

Hmmm, well now, a little bit of self-hatred going on here, I see...

[Mike]

mike, your mere presence is offensive. shut up and get the fuck out of here, you sniveling little bitch.


Uh....No thanks :)

[Ninjavenom]

That's the problem, Mike. This gets under my skin very much because when apostrophes are not used or are used improperly, they completely bastardize the meaning of the sentence, rendering it nearly illegible. When i can't read a sentence because of the lacking commas or apostrophes, the spelling errors become compounded and the sentence becomes one big pile of grammatical shit. The saddest part here is that the foreign guys who post here have grammar and english far better than some of the other idiots on the internet. For shit's sake, even Retro Kat knows how to use them! I don't see what's so tough about using an apostrophe to make your sentences a little easier on people to read.

The comma is also forgotten often in the english language. It's used to serparate ideas. Whoa now, think you can handle that, computer-using America? Think you can comprehend how to use the comma correctly? Are you, sure it's not, too hard for you, to learn? >:

Everyone fucks up sometimes, but for crissakes, you can't just ignore the fucking apostrophe! It's like swapping every letter "s" from now on with "z". Utterly retarded, i hope everyone guilty of this is sent to taiwan sodomy camps, where they will stay for the rest of their lives.

[kahljorn]

Can we discuss the semi-colon and the colon next, and maybe the hyphen dashinator?

[Ninjavenom]

Those are used FAR less in english than the comma and apostrophe.

[kahljorn]

I would like to know their proper usage, I'm afraid I may have forgotten.

Can we have a thread for teaching math and physics too?

[Jeanette X]

uh, what?
Allow me to demonstrate.

Beowulf, in Old English:

Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum, meodosetla ofteah,
egsode eorlas. Syððan ærest wearð
feasceaft funden, he þæs frofre gebad,
weox under wolcnum, weorðmyndum þah,
oðþæt him æghwylc þara ymbsittendra
ofer hronrade hyran scolde,
gomban gyldan. þæt wæs god cyning!


Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, in Middle English:

Whilom, as olde stories tellen us,
Ther was a duc that highte Theseus;
Of Atthenes he was lord and governour,
And in his tyme swich a conquerour,
That gretter was ther noon under the sonne.
Ful many a riche contree hadde he wonne,
What with his wysdom and his chivalrie;
He conquered al the regne of Femenye,
That whilom was ycleped Scithia,
And weddede the queene Ypolita,
And broghte hir hoom with hym in his contree,
With muchel glorie and greet solempnytee,
And eek hir yonge suster Emelye.

Shakespeare's Hamlet, in Early Modern English:

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell
me one thing.

[Ninjavenom]

The colon is used to dictate the beginning of a list or to show an example.

-Things to do tomorrow:
-I.E.:

The semicolon is used to show the separation of two loosely related
things or ideas.

-In the jungle we found a Triceratops; it cost us several hundred dollars worth of gasoline and supplies.

The hyphen is used when you want to combine two nouns, or two other unrelated words.

- Peudo-intellectual
- Spider-Man

Does that help, smartass?

I kind of failed math, though. :(

Also, if i met someone who used Jen's example, i'd more than likely begin saving money for an uzi and a bus ride.

[Helm]

Ottawa:

A castle, some trees and a lot of red flowers.

Welcome to Canada.

[FartinMowler]

DID YOU NOTICE THAT CHOJIN'S LADY LAUGHS AT ALL HIS STUFF!! hE MUST BE DrUGGING HER!!!!

[MLE]

i didn't laugh at him, i laughed at Fat Satan's comment.. :(

[Anonymous]

YOU SLUT :<

[MLE]

you know you love it.

[Anonymous]

:conspiracy

[noob3]

I miss Noob3's grrrllllfriend :(

[Anonymous]

me too :<

[Mike]

Well Ninjavenom, your last comment may actually be the most intelligent argument I've read in a while. Although I do my best to produce legible text online, I do hold to my previous point. If the point being made is clear, then I think some errors should be forgiven. If your point in complaining is that it annoys you when you read what you consider to be the product of stupidity or unintelligence, then this thread just blends in with the lameness of the general "People Suck!" rants.

[Anonymous]

you suck

[Cap'n Crunch]

I really hate Mike.

[Anonymous]

you suck too

[noob3]

I remember when she tried to buy Adderall by replying to some kid who posted here :( I don't think he posted again after that :(

Now she has a job and a life and dosn't have time to play with me on the internet :( :( :( SHE'S TOO BUSY TWEAKING ON ADDERALL :(

[Cap'n Crunch]

you suck too

But not as much as Mike. :)

[noob3]

no

[mew barios]

i'm the 'i don't capitalize things' guy. :(

[Mike]

:troutslap

[kahljorn]

I'm too busy tweaking on tweak :(

"Does that help, smartass?

I kind of failed math, though."

:) yes, it's good to know I was right about most of the usages. What about the kind of hypen usage like... John gave me three crayons -- red blue and green -- so I colored a picture of a trick. Is that the proper usage? More or less, I couldn't think of a Good example-- Candy is good for the brain they say.

[Anonymous]

BE INSULTED DAMMIT

[kahljorn]

:wah
How's that?

[The Retro Kat]

Jeanette, I love decripting middle English. :love

[Jeanette X]

Jeanette, I love decripting middle English. :love
I actually plugged the decripted version into the Dialecitzer to get the idiot version, but thank you. :bow

[Anonymous]

pyp in the pyph thread already, JX

[Jeanette X]

pyp in the pyph thread already, JX
Pyp? Pyph? :confused

[Anonymous]

post yer picture post yer picture here

[Jeanette X]

post yer picture post yer picture here
The goat woman avatar is close enough.

[Helm]

No she's not :Iknowwhatyoudidlastshower

[Ninjavenom]

Mike: I'm not whining about people forgetting or mistakenly typing out the apostrophe, i'm whining about when it's hard to read because of said lack of punctuation. When i can understand the idea, then generally i'll let it go, no harm done.

Kahl:

John gave me three crayons - red blue and green - so I colored a picture of a trick

would be correct. The semicolon would do well here:

I couldn't think of a Good example; Candy is good for the brain they say.

Mew: I'm biased because i don't already hate you, even if you're I Don't Capitalize Things guy. I'm sure this is very comforting coming from a guy on the internet who you've never met. :posh

[Zero Signal]

MR. APOSTROPHE AND MRS. APOSTROPHE HAD TEH SECKS AND MADE MR. QUOTES

' + ' + TEH SECKS = "

[Anonymous]

J: no it isn't

i'm gonna stop paying attention to your threads if you don't post in there >: grr

[LegoLars]

WHY CAN'T Y'ALL JUST WRITE IN SWEDISH SO THAT I, WON'T MAKE STUPID GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES THEN!

bastards

:)

[mew barios]

ninja: actually it is comforting to know. i'd be sad if you secretly hated me, cuz i like yeeeeeew. :o

[Ninjavenom]

We should so totaly make out now. :love

[The Retro Kat]

Since Jeanette brought up some older literature, (I think that was from Cantenbury Tales), why do people think Shakespeare wrote in old English. He wrote in god damned modern English. I hate people who don't know a damn thing about the English language.

[Anonymous]

uh, what?

[The Retro Kat]

You see, contrary to the popular belief that people spoke the way Shakespeare wrote in that time, they spoke in pretty much modern English. I'm a Shakespeare fan, Titus, Hamlet, Caesar, you know, the tragedies, and people often tell me that Shakespeare is written in Old English, that is followed by me pistol whipping them for being such blatent retards. SHAKESPEARE IS WRITTEN IN MODERN ENGLISH.

[Anonymous]

i have a scientific observation that involves myself observing things :picklehat

everyone I have ever heard complain/nitpick/freak out about - grammer, spelling, punctuation, etc. are slow readers with poor or average reading comprehension

everyone that I know that spells/punctuates/grammers badly, or doesn't care about that stuff- are fast readers with very good reading comprehension

I admit I don't know tons and tons of people, but of the people I know, this is true

[FS]

LIES, AND FABRICATIONS. >:

I've got this thing about proper grammar and spelling for myself. If I'm typing even just a little note to remind myself of something later, and I make a mistake that I decide to just leave there, I might go back in the end to correct it anyway.

I also sometimes purposely neglect to use capital letters or punctuation in chatrooms and instant messengers to avoid looking like a dork. :(

:issues

[Mockery]

*fights urge* *resists* BAH! I HAVE TO SAY IT!

You spelled "grammar" as "grammer" :lol

[Ninjavenom]

I like to think that I have excellent reading comprehension, and read at a fairly high pace, and that's why it annoys me when certain punctuations are omitted. I read by them, and then I have to stop and go "what the fuck?" What did I just read? It becomes rather annoying when it's your job to un-retard some of the reviews people send in. I had to stop doing the Friday the 13th: Part Six one I just got because it was so badly written. Not that I'm whining about my job, mind you, but I just can't understand what would drive someone to neglect such a basic facet of writing in the English language. Also note my capitalization of the letter "I" from now on, noted by Rog to be rather hypcritical when i'm bitching about using apostrophes. >:

:grammarnazi

[Mockery]

I have decent reading comprehension, but I'm definitely one of the most ill-read writers you'll find. I read books very slowly. I can read shit on the web forever, but when it comes to books, I can read like 20-30 pages max in one sitting before I get really agitated. I'm still in the middle of that Lloyd Kaufman book that came out a few months ago.

[kahljorn]

You spelled something wrong ninja :( I won't tell you, it's part of the treasure finding.

Doopa... when you say that, do you mean people who talk like... "u r lik so kewl nd stuf" and have other spelling handicaps?

[Ninjavenom]

:o

Good call, Kahl. I don't think i'll fix it, though. Can't believe i missed that one. :(

[kahljorn]

It's made of Gold, it can stay there always so you can give it an occasional shine..

[Esuohlim]

Besides e-mail addresses, what is the "@" used for?

[kellychaos]

LIES, AND FABRICATIONS. >:


I also sometimes purposely neglect to use capital letters or punctuation in chatrooms and instant messengers to avoid looking like a dork. :(

:issues

e.e. cummings would be proud ( :)

As long as the point is not lost in the communication, I have no real problem with grammar. If one's grammar and/or spelling is soooo bad that you can't comprehend what they're trying to say, I find it annoying. THAT has nothing to do with MY reading comprehension so much as the other fella's failure in getting his thoughts down correctly before posting them ambiguously.

[Protoclown]

I've seen Jeanette's picture :)

neener neener neener :P

Oh, and I get annoyed by grammatical fuckups too, and I'm a pretty quick reader.

[Ninjavenom]

That @ McGillicutty is used as just a quick abbreviation for the word "at".

[Esuohlim]

Th@ is useless. :(

[MrAdventure]

http://www.emimusic.de/emi_at/images/cover/150/0724385407420.jpg

MC HAMMER? MORE LIKE MC SUCKS AT GRAMMAR! :lol

http://www13.homepage.villanova.edu/kelman.wieder/images/Slammer.jpg

SLEDGE HAMMER? MORE LIKE SUCKS AT SLEDGE GRAMMAR! :lol

http://www.strictlymint.com/online_store/store/images/thumb_989.jpg

MR. ALEX GRAMMAS? MORE LIKE MR. ALEX I SUCK AT GRAMMAR! :lol

http://www.spies.com/~artemis/wedding/prophotos/grammas.jpg

A PAIR OF GRAMMAS :lol? MORE LIKE A PAIR OF SUCKS AT GRAMMAR! :lol

http://thad.notagoth.org/baby_pictures/baby_cage.jpg

STUCK IN THE SLAMMER? MORE LIKE I'M SORRY I'M BAD AT GRAMMAR! :lol

[Jeanette X]

I've seen Jeanette's picture :)

neener neener neener :P

Oh, and I get annoyed by grammatical fuckups too, and I'm a pretty quick reader.
Speaking of which, can you e-mail me them? I can't bloody find them on my comp. Send them to JeanetteX@earthlink.net