Chimp's New Big Thread

[AChimp]

Who knows? Maybe I'll fill this one up soon. :(

[noob3]

Noone cares anymore, sorry.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

So.. very.. true... To little too late.

[Jixby Phillips]

achimp you are a little baby virgin shut up

[FartinMowler]

For a smart boy he does seem to be a pussy..he's a smart pussy :)

[AChimp]

I said maybe. :lol

:(

[kellychaos]

This thread made me sad.

[Anonymous]

so, you have to go into detail about how the last one ended

and how you somehow managed two relationships and an intact virginity

[kellychaos]

aChimp posted a link to that thread not too long ago. It took me three days to chip away at it due to alternating spurts of interest, disinterest and simian narcissism ... AND STILL NOT MONKEY SEX! >:

[Anonymous]

i'm talking about the last relationship, you faggot

i was around for the old thread unlike some hilarious newbies

[kellychaos]

i'm talking about the last relationship, you faggot

i was around for the old thread unlike some hilarious newbies

Neither am I, you nancy. He posted a link to the board you all spawned from.

[Anonymous]

1. 'neither am i' isn't a sensible response to anything i said
2. i started posting two boards ago

[kellychaos]

1. 'neither am i' isn't a sensible response to anything i said


:/ You're right. what I meant to say was that I wasn't talking about "this" board either.


2. i started posting two boards ago

I'm nopt sure whether we're talking about the same board or not, then. All I know is that it wasn't this one. :(

[Anonymous]

'i was around for the old thread unlike some hilarious newbies' was in reference to the old thread on the old board

in conclusion, you are gay :<

*let it be known i'm only arguing with you to pad this thread. in the name of tradition.

[kellychaos]

in conclusion, you are gay :<


In conclusioner, Not everyone can be as much the party girl as you


*let it be known i'm only arguing with you to pad this thread. in the name of tradition.


Can't argue with tradition. :(

[Anonymous]

STOP REPLYING KELLYCHAOS

[AChimp]

I thought I did talk about how my last relationship ended. :/

Ah well... maybe later tonight I'll post about that story again. The long and short of it, though, is that you can't be old-fashioned and a feminist at the same time without appearing cheap. I suddenly found myself with reduced access to a car, and she had just bought a new car, but she didn't "drive to guy's houses."

She especially didn't like it when I said she could drop me off at my neighbour's if she was that anal about it. I thought I was being funny. :)

Anyways, she got really offended and started telling me how a "gentleman" was supposed to act around a "lady," hung up on me a bunch of times (and dammit, she beat me to it on the last time I ever talked to her on the phone. I wanted to hang up! >: ), then stopped talking to me for a week all because I asked her if *maybe* she could drive once in a while.

The best line from her when I finally went to get all the stuff I had loaned her was, "I don't know if I want to be with you anymore if you're going to act like this over something small. What would you be like if something big ever happened?" :lol

The latests one, though... I'm still baffled and depressed. :(

[Anonymous]

You talked about the breakup with the first before, but we haven't heard anything about the new one other than she'd rather watch a sitcom than be with you.

for some reason it intrigues me :<

[AChimp]

It is because you are sadistic. :(

I have done too much thinking over the last couple of months. I guess the whole thing boils down to: how the hell do you go from "I'm getting used to the idea of not being single anymore" to "I don't think we should be dating" in the span of a few days?

Of course, there's lots more to that, but I'm too lazy to type it now. :(

[Rev. Danno]

You crazy Canadian monkey...
I don't know if they teach this in sex ed in Canada, but in the USofA they teach us a very useful phrase... Chicks are dumb! It boils down to the fact that women don't know what the hell they want, & the other problem is men KNOW what they WANT!!! So my advice is to become gay, have all the sex you want, & make fun of women with your new gay Canadian monkey friends... or you can ignore women for a few years, play D&D, go to college, women are kinda slutty in college. Your final choice is to die alone, having your greatest acheivement being a few odd posting on a humor site's music site, & a cook book no one will buy...

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"or you can ignore women for a few years, play D&D, go to college, women are kinda slutty in college. "

He is already in University. :lol

[Rev. Danno]

Really... Well Achimp, you are screwed... Stock up on hand lotion, & be prepaired to die alone...

[Anonymous]

i second the gay thing

[AChimp]

Thank you for all the helpful advice. >:

[Anonymous]

you're welcome, sugar

[AChimp]

Actually, this that really was good advice. :O

I will try to talk to her tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Whenever I see her. :)

[AChimp]

She told me to talk to her on Friday. :O

[Anonymous]

softening you up for a break-up :<

[AChimp]

Maybe. :eek

I need to think of things to say that will get me on her good side. ;)

[Anonymous]

she's already made her mind up.

[AChimp]

Maybe. :(

But I will wear a clean t-shirt anyways. That always seems to help.

Actually, she told me to talk to her on Friday because she has an exam coming tomorrow and several labs to do in one of her summer courses and doesn't want to be distracted by DEEP THINKING. :chatter

[Anonymous]

that's another way of saying "don't bother me while i hump this other dude"

i got to level 3 and took a proficiency in speaking woman :<

[Pub Lover]

AChimp, this person of which you speak never was 'your girlfriend', she just used you as a study aide & for tech support. :)

[AChimp]

You are not being supportive. :(

[Professor Cool]

I'll support you cause chimp. A lost cause, but still a cause.

Go get em', chimp!!! :) :/ :)

[AChimp]

THAT'S THE SPIRIT. :(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Instead of going to the movies with his friends, Chimp is going to waste his Friday in another attempt to reignite this relationship. :/ Not a good idea.

[Anonymous]

You should go to the movies, chimp. She'll use it as a guilt trip bargaining chip to help her dump you, but she's gonna do it anyway.

If she loved you, she'd find the time to talk to you before friday. 'Simple as that.'

[Jixby Phillips]

Don't go to the movies OR try to rekindle your relationship. I mean, what good movies could possibly be out right now?

[AChimp]

Instead of going to the movies with his friends, Chimp is going to waste his Friday in another attempt to reignite this relationship. Not a good idea.
I already told you I work tomorrow night and have to study for my exam on Monday. >:

Bar none. :(

[AChimp]

Anyways, I figure that there's no harm in talking to her tomorrow. I don't really have any hopes, but there are a few things that I'd like to straighten out.

[Baalzamon]

Anyways, I figure that there's no harm in talking to her tomorrow. I don't really have any hopes, but there are a few things that I'd like to straighten out.

yeah, theres no harm in it.

from what youve told me though, I think It'd be best for yourself if you go into it simply to get closure, and for nothing else.

It really doesnt sound like shes interested, or that it will change any by tomorrow.

Its the uncertainty thats been fucking with you. Above all else, eliminate the uncertainty tomorrow. dont let the conversation turn into some ambiguous "maybe later" "not right now" type of shit, because then it will just bother you for another 3 months, and just keep repeating on you.
:chatter

Get to the point, get it sorted out, and maybe you'll still be "friends", whatever the fuck that means :blah

Just finnish it, so it doesnt fuck with you even more for the next year and a half.

[kellychaos]

Get to the point, get it sorted out, and maybe you'll still be "friends", whatever the fuck that means :blah

Just finnish it, so it doesnt fuck with you even more for the next year and a half.

Then it would be called "Chimp's Little Thread". >: Nuff said.

[AChimp]

Exactly. :rolleyes

[AChimp]

Okay, I talked to her. It didn't really turn out the way I expected it. In fact, it didn't really turn out as anything. :/

She was writing an exam today, so I waited outside the class and studied for my exam on Monday and she was surprised to see me, but was friendly. She said that she had to work that afternoon so any talking that we did wouldn't last very long.

I didn't want to start off with TEH SERIOUSE, so I just asked her how she was doing, how was class, etc. and then we walked around for a bit and everything seemed to be going good. She acted the same way that she had months ago. :/

She wanted to wait around outside her class to talk to other classmates about the exam a bit, and she had to give a paper to her lab partner, so I stayed with her and we talked some more.

Then more people started coming out of the exam room and she talked with them. I couldn't really participate in the conversation, so I just sat there and studied a bit more. Then, when those people left, she looked at me and said, "I'll be right back" and then went a little ways off to talk to one of her other classmates who had just appeared.

Okay, fine. I stayed there. No big deal.

She started walking back, but before she was halfway back to me, a couple more people came out of the room, including her lab partner. Of course, they started talking about the exam. That's all right, though, I thought. I do the same thing after big exams and tests.

However, after about 5 minutes, she looked over at me and blinked, then said, "Are you waiting for me?" Everyone in her group started staring at me.

"Uhh... yeah."

"Well, you can go. I've got a few places to go before I go to work."

"Uhh... okay... *pause*... are you available on Monday?"

"No, Monday is bad. I've got a lab, and so is Tuesday."

At this point, the group started to break up and she started walking away.

"So, uhh... what's a good time then?"

"I dunno. Just find me."

"That's what I have been doing."

"Oh, well then just e-mail me with a time."

"You haven't been checking your e-mail."

"Yeah, I'll get around to that sometime."

"Uhh... okay... bye?"

:(

I don't get it. Why be friendly to me when there's no one around, but then treat me like shit when there are other people around? I should point out, though, that it seems like she only treats me like shit when they are people that I don't know, yet she does.

It's almost as if she has to prove something to them, or something. :/

[Jeanette X]

I would dump her if I were you. If she doesn't think you are good enough for her friends, then dump her. And that crap about "gentleman" and "lady" made me want to puke. Get rid of her. You deserve better than that manipulative bitch. :pac

[AChimp]

The "gentleman" and "lady" stuff was the first one and she is long gone. In fact, I haven't seen her in over six months, so as far as I know, she might have died. :)

It is a new girl that is bothering me now. :(

[Baalzamon]

"You haven't been checking your e-mail."

"Yeah, I'll get around to that sometime."


that is what we call an "excuse" and its a very bad one too. Everybody checks their fucking email! she is lying to avoid the issue, and she will continue to do so, because she fears confrontation, and you are letting her get away with this.

She's obviously not interested, and instead of having the guts to say so, she is letting you follow her around aimlessly hoping that you might get a relevant piece of info from her, someday, maybe.

IMO thats way worse than just coming out and harshly telling yo that shes not interested. at least if she did that you'd know whats going on, and the matter would be resolved for both of you.

She is a coward, and you deserve better.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

What a bitch. My recommendation: Go back and hang around Bailey's Western Civ class. All the cool girls are in that class. :love

[AChimp]

I could use my Yanni-Fabio joke again. :)

Ah well. I will have to brood about this more and become depressed again and then go harass her again. She still has one of my textbooks. LOL.

[fatbinge]

Rough.

Edit: Sorry chimp, apparently you didn't think that was sufficient.

Don't think about it any more. Or else... pop. She's unaware of the power she has.

One other thing, i'm not going to go out of my way to talk to her, but if the opportunity comes up at school, i'll give her my mind.

[AChimp]

I am enraged by your one word response. >:

This thread is about finding answers! :tear

[Anonymous]

i have no idea why i like chimp :<

um, anyway, even though you probably think that there's no-one else 'interested' in you, ditch her, please. you aren't going anywhere with her anyway and all roads lead to sol on this issue

[Baalzamon]

chojin is right man, just forget about her already.

I you have any self respect at all you should stop pursuing this obviosly futile relationship.

[AChimp]

If I stopped pursuing the relationship, there would be no point in this thread. :rolleyes

i have no idea why i like chimp :<
:love Chojin :love

[Baalzamon]

If I stopped pursuing the relationship, there would be no point in this thread.



Myabe if you stopped pursuing this relationship you could focus your attention on finding another woman to write a thread about :/

maybe you could even find a normal one, without stupid emotional issues and stuff :O

[AChimp]

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST FIND ONE. >:

:fudgee-o :(

[Baalzamon]

LOL

but ey, this is "chimps big thread" not mine, if we're talking about me we have to make another one, which I dont intend to do :p

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chojin has a point for once! Chimp, as Bob Dylan famously sang, "You ain't goin' nowhere." In fact, you're already there.

[ziggytrix]

Dude, the faster you get over her, the faster you can turn this into emotionally abusing her, instead of the other way round. Think ya can do it?

[AChimp]

But being mean would totally ruin my chances. ;) :(

[Anonymous]

why do you ask for advice if you're going to blow it all off with a gay quip?

[AChimp]

Because it was only recently that I started getting some non-gay quip advice. >:

The balance of gay has shifted. :(

[ziggytrix]

I'm dead serious. If you can figure out how to send the signal that you aren't pleased to see her, aren't nervous, etc, you'll be much better off.

[AChimp]

Hmm... so you're saying I should make her feel guilty for giving me the shaft and make her beg ME to take HER back? :)

[kellychaos]

Be like Fonzi ... and what is Fonzi? ... that's right, he's cool ...BE Fonzi ... invite her to the soda shop, punch the jukebox so that it plays a romantic lil diddy and then snap your fingers in such an authoritative way that it sends her scurrying into your arms and slow dancing to the melody of an old Platters love ballad. :)

[AChimp]

I think I'll just be myself. :(

[Pub Lover]

Yeah, that has always worked so well up till now. >:

[Baalzamon]

fuck man, stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it already. its getting damned annoying.

If you really like her that much that you cant just let it go, your only option is to push the issue untill you are either accepted or get turned down in the harshest way. Its the chance you have to take, but at least the issue would be resolved.

Shes making excuses to avoid exactly this. It will never happen unless you force her to find 5 fucking minutes to talk to you.

But seriously, if shes being as much of a bitch as you make it sound like, I cant see how you actually would like her that much, and in that case you should just forget about her, and then you wont have to deal with it anymore.

I like my second option better, its easier, and I think I've heard enough to confidently say that it is the right course of action in this case.

on the other hand the harsh dumping that could result from the first option would make a better thread ;)

It all depends though. Is your heart set on her? are you madly in love with her and cant be with anyone else...

answer that question, then decide what you are going to do.

[Protoclown]

That's how girls are, man. You show some interest, and they get cold and run away. It's all part of the game. You need to catch her in a net and bash her skull in with a sharp and heavy rock.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chimp, you know how dating and fishing are sometimes compared? Well, when you go fishing, sometimes you catch nothing, sometimes you catch something tasty, and sometimes you catch a beast fit only for the deepest pits of hell. Well, what you have on your hands is a case of the latter.

[fatbinge]

Good analogy.

Oh boy, wednesday is tomorrow. It's yet another chance to put this thing to an end. In all likelyhood, this thread will be active for at least another 6 months. :(

[Anonymous]

no, if he ditches her then it can go back to 'Best way to get a girlfriend' instead of 'what best to do with girlfriend'

i like the former a lot better anyway ;>

[AChimp]

:lol

Yes, tomorrow I will try to talk to her again, and if she refuses, I will be mean. :(

[soundtest]

http://www.sound-test.org/barf/vs.png

[Rongi]

:lol

[MrAdventure]

lol @ soundtest :(

ps. hi fatbinge. :(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chimp, where's the new, messy details? :(

[fatbinge]

ps. hi fatbinge. :(
Hi baby :yum

[Royal Tenenbaum]

I thought you died or something? :/

[AChimp]

I was going to wait outside her class for her to arrive this morning, but when I walked through the door into Armes, she was walking through the other door! It totally threw me off and I forgot everything that I was going to say. :(

So, I looked like an idiot and apologized for it and stuff. She seemed kinda amused. I'm going to write her a letter instead, because I obviously suck at talking. :/

[Baalzamon]

rough

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Why didn't you just empty a round into her? >:

[Anonymous]

lol :<

[glowbelly]

i say just ignore the cunt.

[AChimp]

Once I am done the letter, I will. If she wants further contact with me, then she can initiate it, dammit.

Chicks like handwritten letters in blood, right? :(

[Mockery]

Karen, lend Chimp your dildo. He needs a friend.

[AChimp]

:)

[Baalzamon]

you absolutely MUST post a copy of the letter before you send it to her.

so we can offer advice of course ;)

[AChimp]

HOW BOUT NO. >:

[Baalzamon]

:lol

I'm just kidding, relax.

[Baalzamon]

but yes, hand written in blood is the shit.

once she smells your blood she'll be all over you man, trust me ;)

[AChimp]

The letter has been delivered! :eek

[Baalzamon]

:eek

you deliver in person or mail it?

OMG she could be reading it right now :chatter

[AChimp]

In person. The D-Man went with me as back up in case she started biting. :eek

But she didn't bite, and took the letter and said she would talk to me later. I don't know how much later.

I don't even know if she'll actually read the letter, but it doesn't really matter now. :(

[kellychaos]

Once I am done the letter, I will. If she wants further contact with me, then she can initiate it, dammit.

Chicks like handwritten letters in blood, right? :(

"It's been said that if you put a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters, the group would eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare. I say, "Who cares? You got a million typin' monkeys in one room! How cool is that?!?!"

-- Brad Osberg

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Worst... quote... ever. Let's hope she reads the letter and feels so bad she jumps off a bridge. :)

[AChimp]

Maybe. :eek

I really don't know how she'll feel. She might feel bad, or she could laugh her ass off and do a jig. :(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"she could laugh her ass off and do a jig."

She's going to have sex with a black guy? :)

[AChimp]

LOL. :(

[Protoclown]

Eh, she'd just cheat on you anyway if you got serious with her. That's what people do.

[AChimp]

I don't think so, but I may never get the chance to know, so :(.

>:

[Protoclown]

Hey. I'm trying to help you think positive here by telling you that all you missed out on was eventual heartbreak anyway.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Chimp, why are you still sad? Hasn't this thread produced sufficient proof that she is a no good bitch? Get over it! You're way better off without her.

[AChimp]

Because there's lots of background information that I've never posted that all adds up to make me sad. >:

:(

[Baalzamon]

Since things just seem to be getting progressively worse for you, I'm going to have to put my money on the letter being ignored, never responded to, and then she pretends it never existed.

It will go soemthing like this:

"I'll get around to reading that sometime, I just dont have time right now"

will then progress to:

"oops, I think I lost it"

and then...

"letter, what letter?

Not that I want that to happen to you, but thats my best guess. :/

[AChimp]

Well, then it will be time for Attack of the l33t HaX0r! >:

:(

No, I think she will read it. But, she will probably say something gay like, "I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything." As usual. :(

[sadie]

a few things i learned from reading this quickly-expanding thread:

1. chimp is a wuss who not only plans to reuse lame jokes to attract the opposite sex, but also takes a friend with him to hand-deliver a secret love letter to a girl who's obviously blowing him off (though i too like him for some reason. :().
2. chojin is hot for chimp, like a shark sensing the monkeyblood of emotionally-weak rebound secks.
3. snakeass is a fucking idiot. (oh wait. i already knew that. :O)

[kellychaos]

"she could laugh her ass off and do a jig."

She's going to have sex with a black guy? :)

I'd reply with "worst ... quote ... EVER" but that line was your own idiotic thought ... which makes it even worserer. :)

[AChimp]

1. chimp is a wuss who not only plans to reuse lame jokes to attract the opposite sex, but also takes a friend with him to hand-deliver a secret love letter to a girl who's obviously blowing him off (though i too like him for some reason. ).

The D-Man really didn't come with me for the sole purpose of helping me deliver the letter. He was off photocopying some stuff at the time. :(

And I only reuse kinda lame jokes in an endearing way. >:

Anyways, I have come to two possible conclusions about this whole situation.

Conclusion A:
She used me to get easy help with all her classes this year and only pretended to like me the whole time. Once I was technically no longer of any use to her (after exams were done), she dropped me.

Conclusion B:
She really does/did like me, but is afraid of relationships because of all the shit that happened to her before.

:(

[Jixby Phillips]

I want the backstory.

[Baalzamon]

I have the backstory, somewhat, and I would guess that both A and B are each partially true.

She does like you, is afraid of a relationship, but overcame that fear long enough to get help. Now that she doesn't need you anymore, she is backing off again.

But, untill you get a response to that letter there is no way to be sure.

If there is no response of substance, i would suggest that that be taken as proof that A is indeed the full truth. wouldnt you say so chimp?

[AChimp]

You are wise for someone who intimidates women so much that they avoid you. :eek

Yes, in my letter, I said that she could take as much time as she wanted to respond (within reason! -- I had to add that clause because sometimes you have to talk like a bloody lawyer to her ;) ), but if she had absolutely no intention of responding, just send me an brief e-mail with something like "fuck off" in it so I don't spend days wondering about it.

Since there has been no brief message to that effect, I can only assume that a) she hasn't read it yet or has no intention of reading it, or b) she is still working on a response. :/

No response at all ever means I become very vocal with any denouncement I make and hopefully force a very public confrontation in which I make her cry. >: >: :(

[MLE]

maybe that'll be good for her >: :(

[AChimp]

In a "tear her down and build her back up" kinda way. :)

[Baalzamon]

You are wise for someone who intimidates women so much that they avoid you.


:bow

I guess sitting in my basement alone crying gives me lots of time to think and ponder. :tear

Speaking of which, what if she is intimidated by me, and the fact that as your friend I am associated with you has forced her to avoid you as well as me just to be sure she stays away from me!? :eek

OMG, I fucked you over by accident! :P

well, probably not ;)


Yes, in my letter, I said that she could take as much time as she wanted to respond (within reason! -- I had to add that clause because sometimes you have to talk like a bloody lawyer to her ), but if she had absolutely no intention of responding, just send me an brief e-mail with something like "fuck off" in it so I don't spend days wondering about it.


I see you have been paying attention to me. If it truly is as clear as this, you should have your answer soon.

A "fuck you" would no doubt suck but it would clear things up.

A real response would depend on its content of course.

In the case of a complete lack of response, IMO you would be well within your rights to consider it an insult of the worst kind, and would thereby be justified to do what needs to be done.

Just dont get her mad enough to send Tony after you, because then I would be obligated to help you out, and that would be really painfull for everyone involved. Lets avoid that please.

[AChimp]

Tony has been fucked over by girls enough to take my side, I think. :(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"she could laugh her ass off and do a jig."

She's going to have sex with a black guy? :)

I'd reply with "worst ... quote ... EVER" but that line was your own idiotic thought ... which makes it even worserer. :)

Obviously you haven't seen Gangs of New York you fucking moron.

Sadie, just because the only sexual relationship you have at the moment is some type of weird satanic incest with your son doesn't mean you can take it out on the rest of us. Please, just kill yourself already.

[AChimp]

Please.

This thread is about consoling me and coming up with ways for me to play mind games. >:

[Baalzamon]

If she doesnt respond to you...

Write her another note, this time make it about how you arent interested in her and asking her to stop pursueing you. Let her down easy by telling her you like her, but just as a friend, and if she cared about you she would accept that, and stop hitting on you, etc, blah blah blah

Deliver this note exactly one week after the previous note, and feign complete ignorance of the existance of the first note. Be extremely nice to her to the point of irritation. Constantly apolagize and tell her you are sorry for leading her on, its your fault, she'll get over you, etc.

This will totally fuck with her, and she will be extremely confused.

How is that for mind games?

[sadie]

snakeass, the only satanic thingy i have going on currently is this ritual voodoo doll explosion ceremony which will hopefully end in your demise. so shut up. fool.

[AChimp]

I think I'm gonna cry. :tear

[Baalzamon]

If you cry she wins man!

take controll!

Make her do enough crying for the both of you!

[AChimp]

Krazy Canuk just told me that when he talked to her last week (he was the one who told her that she should talk to me, and that's why she was waiting, and that's why I ended up standing there like an idiot), she said that she thought I wanted to take revenge on her or something, so she was avoiding me.

:(

[Baalzamon]

take revenge on her?

that probably means in her mind the whole issue had been resolved a long time ago (i.e. "no").

So now the way she sees it you are trying to "get back at her" for the rejection.

So in her mind she has already "dumped" you. That means it is a massive failure on her part to properly communicate.

She just assumed that you picked up on the secret woman language vibes, which is a pretty fucking stupid thing for her to do, because men dont understand the secret woman language. everyone knows this.

So chimp, are you still not convinced that its a definite no?

I for one have been fairly certain of this since halfway through page 1 of this thread.

Have you simply moved on to the furious avatar of vengence stage?

If so she would indeed be correct about the revenge thing.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

She's a bitch. :rave

[AChimp]

:(

You don't understand. This seriously sucks. Why the hell would anyone think that I would be out for revenge!?? I mean, yeah, I'll joke about it on a fucking Internet message board but I'd never do anything in real life. I've never done anything like that!

I can't believe that's what she thinks I'm like. :(

[Jixby Phillips]

Do the two of you even really fucking know each other?

[AChimp]

I thought I did. :/

[Baalzamon]

Yeah, thats quite a slap in the face. She should know you better than that by now.

It almost sounds like she's trying to figure out why the hell your still going after her. like, "WTF does he want, didnt I dump that guy 2 months ago?"

I know its harsh, but if thats the way she sees it, who knows what she would think of your intentions.

You have not yet recieved a response to your letter. She is stalling, because she sees the issue as resolved and mute, and has no inclination to delve back into it. She will continue to do so untill you go away.

The longer you sit there, waiting for the chance to have a "serious discussion" about your "relationship" with her the longer you will suffer, while all the while she will be completely oblivious to this because in her mind this is OVER, and has been for weeks. She doesnt care anymore.

She doesnt even care enough anymore to give you the god damned courtesy of filling you in on all of this. She's just going to let you smash your head into the wall again and again and again, untill you knock yourself unconscious and suddenly stop bothering her. She will not even notice when this happens.

This is a terrible thing for her to do to you, but you have to put that aside for a minute and realize that you are going to have to just move on on your own. She is not going to tell you what to do, so stop waiting for her to.

She is not going to feel sorry for you, the people on these boards are not going to feel sorry for you, and unless you stop feeling sorry for yourself you will never get past this. This shit happens to everyone at some point, deal with it.

And if you are worried about the continuity of your thread, I would like to inform you that this whole issue was resolved 3 pages ago. unless she actually responds to your letter, bitches you out in public, or jumps you for some gross monkey secks, this thread is over. Otherwise I think I have summed up very well where the whole thing is going.

If you want the thread to grow, you have to put this behind you and actually start doing stupid shit to put on the board, which we will then make fun of you for. That makes a thread, not this dead end crap.

And your personal mental health should also be more important to you that having a big thread for a bunch of people who dont even know you to read. you already had that.

[Baalzamon]

Do the two of you even really fucking know each other?



I thought I did.

Come on man, from where I was sitting the two of you shared more knowledge about computer science than you did about each other.

And yes, I am insinuating exactly what you think I am here.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

It's obvious that she is completey obilivious to all normal, social conduct. Just drop kick her and be over with it.

[Protoclown]

stage a fake suicide attempt citing her as the reason and maybe you can get a sympathy fuck, it's the best you can hope for

it's BOUND to work, give it a try! :thumbsup

[GÃ¥te]

Have I missed something?

[Baalzamon]

stage a fake suicide attempt citing her as the reason and maybe you can get a sympathy fuck, it's the best you can hope for

it's BOUND to work, give it a try! :thumbsup


That has to be the absolute worst idea I've ever heard.

And I predict that it would not work too.

[kellychaos]

Quoting Scorcese's absolute worst movie ... and I'm the moron? :thehand

[Protoclown]

I predict that Baalzamon won't get jokes :rolleyes

[kellychaos]

:sarcasticallyimpaired :(

[Baalzamon]

I predict that Baalzamon won't get jokes


I got it, I'm just spelling it out for chimp, because he might miss it, and being a little depressed, i wouldnt want him to actually take you seriously.

[Anonymous]

thanks, mom

[AChimp]

:goth

I may be depressed, but I'm not that depressed. :rolleyes

I'm gonna try to ask her what the hell is up tomorrow. You see, I already told her once that I wouldn't go off and plot revenge against her. Apparently, she didn't believe me and I don't really want her to go on any character assassination sprees with respect to my reputation. Although, it's quite likely that if she started telling people that I was plotting revenge against her, they would just be like, "WTF? Chimp? He's a pussy man."

I've got no idea what she thinks, but I'd like to find out. Most likely it's something bad, like tying her to a railway track and laughing maniacally and wearing a black cape and tophat.

Apparently, she's got some trust issues, which isn't really surprising. Her last boyfriend was a really asshole and fucked in the head. He was completely controlling and got insanely jealous when she would talk to other guys, and even told her once that he had stabbed himself with a needle that he found in the park, causing her to sit in the hospital for half a day, waiting for the results of a hepatitis test... her own (BTW, he just told her that to mess around with her). But, he did "sweet" things, like giving her flowers, etc. Then one day he just dumped her out of the blue.

So, now she won't let anyone get close, and anybody who does "sweet" things obviously HAS to be trying to mess with her. No close attachments, either, because people who you are close to WILL ALWAYS hurt you, no matter what. :(

[Cosmo Electrolux]

they will Chimp....they will. :(

[AChimp]

No, I meant the "Oh shit, the world is ending" hurt.

[Baalzamon]

Well, you are going to have to drill through all the layers of bullshit with her, and from the sounds of it you have not really been sucessfull so far.

It doesnt look like patience will get you any further than you have already gotten.

You have to become heavy handed with it. If she wants to hide behind her paranoia, and brush you off, so be it, but make her do it with full understanding of what she is doing.

If you force her to look at what shes doing, she will either realize she is being stupid, or will continue to remain just the way she is now. At least that way theres a chance.

[Anonymous]

chimp, baal's totally hitting on you

[Baalzamon]

:lol

[AChimp]

His penis intimidates me. :eek

[Baalzamon]

:meat

;)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"WTF? Chimp? He's a pussy man."


You forgot a comma, you pussy. :/

the only satanic thingy i have going on currently is this ritual voodoo doll explosion ceremony which will hopefully end in your demise.

Actually, I just made all that shit up. But, interestingly, you didn't deny the incest. You are a real sick fucker.

[Baalzamon]

Dont forget man, this is the same person who practically shit herself over Snake's drunken antics.

Theres only one other person I can think of at the moment who hates snake with a passion for no reason, and I think him and her have one thing in common, mental instability ;) (you know damned well who I'm talking about)

Snake is practically an instant sense of humor test, and she failed it big time.

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and bitch about how "inapropriate" it was, but hell, now that I look back the reaction was more rediculous than the comments themselves.

Hell, I bet you'll even come out and try to say this is all snakes fault or something. That or my "intimidating" penis ;)

[AChimp]

Tony actually did that on his own. She just never bothered stopping him.

And besides, I bitched her out for that and she promised to never complain about my friends to her friends again before consulting me. She also offered to talk to Solid after to apologize, but he never responded to my ICQ messages. :(

[fatbinge]

Chimp, you really need to raise her guilt levels.

[Baalzamon]

And besides, I bitched her out for that and she promised to never complain about my friends to her friends again before consulting me. She also offered to talk to Solid after to apologize, but he never responded to my ICQ messages.

Fair enough. Nice to know you stood up for your friends.

And fatbinge is right, she should be more guilty. Do not rest untill she feels worse than you, because the person who feels the best wins!

[AChimp]

I could put her head in a vice. :/

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Why don't you do one of those really sweet jump kicks where you crush her chest with one blow? :)

[Protoclown]

Snake is practically an instant sense of humor test, and she failed it big time.

Wouldn't Snake have to actually HAVE a sense of humor in order to be any sort of measurement thereof?

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Perhaps my humour doesn't translate well into text, similiar to your b.o..

[Protoclown]

O. M. G. I take that back, that was hilarious.

[AChimp]

Excuse me, but I seem to recall that this is Chimp's Big Thread, not the Let's Compare Cocks Thread. :rolleyes

[Cosmo Electrolux]

is this the same girl you were seeing in the old forum?

[Baalzamon]

Excuse me, but I seem to recall that this is Chimp's Big Thread, not the Let's Compare Cocks Thread.

Fuck you

a) You are the one who started talking about other peoples cocks in the first place, so what do you expect?

b) This thread has been boring for like 5 pages already, because you are just sitting there brooding instead of going out and causing a humiliating confrontation to post about.

c) Even if you do talk to her today, If anything interesting happens, you will probably refuse to tell any of your friends about it, only to post it a week later (on a public forum for all to see), when people stop paying attention to you and you crave the spotlight again.

[AChimp]

is this the same girl you were seeing in the old forum?
No, this is a new girl. She is a much better catch than the last one, but I have experienced great difficulties reeling her in. I am reluctant to use the bat. :(

Fuck you

a) You are the one who started talking about other peoples cocks in the first place, so what do you expect?

b) This thread has been boring for like 5 pages already, because you are just sitting there brooding instead of going out and causing a humiliating confrontation to post about.

c) Even if you do talk to her today, If anything interesting happens, you will probably refuse to tell any of your friends about it, only to post it a week later (on a public forum for all to see), when people stop paying attention to you and you crave the spotlight again.
Proto is right. You don't have a sense of humour. :(

This thread is no different from the old one where I sat here brooding instead of going out an causing confrontation.

Plus, I realized this morning that I can't talk to her today because her class ended yesterday, hence she is not here. I suppose I could wait outside her exam room tomorrow, but that would just be gay. That leaves phoning or waiting until Monday, and you know how much I hate the phone. :(

[Cosmo Electrolux]

women suck. give up and become a drunk....thats what I did.

[Protoclown]

Proto is right. You don't have a sense of humour. :(

Actually Chimp, I was talking about Snake. Although it would follow that Baalzamon doesn't have one either, if he thinks Snake is funny.

[AChimp]

Solid actually is quite funny in real life. His brand of humour doesn't translate well into text because it's usually the tone of his voice and various other antics that contribute to teh funnay (such as crotch grabbing). ;)

Still, though, I wouldn't really count "take her back to your place" as any kind of instant humour test. >:

[Royal Tenenbaum]

I don't grab my crotch, at least not in front of you. :(


Chimp, if you can't even call her, and feel comfortable with her on the phone, then it really is, as Beck would say, a lost cause.

[AChimp]

Hey, I don't call anyone. ;)

[Royal Tenenbaum]

You also don't have sex with anyone. Connect the dots.

[Baalzamon]

Hey, I don't call anyone.

And this is what you get for being such an antisocial loser.

Its a wonder you have managed to hang on to this many friends. not through any effort of yours obviously.

[Anonymous]

Chimp, I wouldn't listen to Baal. He's trying one of those 'break-you-down-and-build-you-back-up' scenarios. Then he'll lay that 'friends make the best lovers' line on you.

Learn from my mistakes.

[Baalzamon]

:lol

Thats funny, but chimp isnt my type

[wreckreation]

BRING ON THE HOT SEX

[Dole]

PICK UP LINES THREAD >:

[JixbyPhillips2]

CHIMP IS A VRIGIN OMG :(

[Krythor]

wtf??? >:

[Schimid]

OMG!

[AChimp]

I got drunk yesterday. :(

[Baalzamon]

lol, where and with who?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I see you've taken my advice, Chimp...:(

[AChimp]

At Mr X's. :O

So, you see, there was no time to use the phone. I wouldn't have been able to find the buttons. ;)

Except, Mr X kept throwing up, and he kicked me out before I could make a move on his sister! :O

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you should have at least face fucked your friend.....:|

[AChimp]

His sister and I can hold our liquor and made fun of the people who were throwing up. ;)

[Baalzamon]

At Mr X's. :O

So, you see, there was no time to use the phone. I wouldn't have been able to find the buttons.

Except, Mr X kept throwing up, and he kicked me out before I could make a move on his sister! :O


of course he threw up, he always does :)

Dammit, he came by my house and I wasnt home! I could have been there too. Damn him for showing up unanounced instead of calling to let me know ahead of time.

So what was this, a bunch of his sisters friends over having a party and you guys decided to join in?

[AChimp]

No. It was just me, him and Stef and the TV. :O

[Baalzamon]

I know you are home and reading this, so go on ICQ for once dammit

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Whippitch.

[wreckreation]

HI FUCKER

[AChimp]

HELLO WREAK. WANT SOME OF MY FUN FRUITS? :)

http://www.preparedfoods.com/archives/2002/2002_4/images/vitamins2.jpg

[Royal Tenenbaum]

:whatafag

[AChimp]

First phoning attempt!

Answering machine. :(

[AChimp]

Heh... second calling attempt yesterday was thwarted by a city-wide power failure. :(

[KILLADEUCE]

Why not take the phone cord and rap it around her scrawny neck?

I feel ya man... Woman play these godamned mind games it seems- Especially when you tell them how you feel... It's real bogus. You're best bet is tp keep you're mind occupied with other things like Studying and Drinking fine lagers. (Or more Prefferably a fine stout from ireland by the name of Guinness...)

I can tell you from experience that you are in a unhealthy situation and will only prolong the inevitible. Believe me i know how shitty it is to hear this, i've been down that road before (christ- i bet everyone here has at one time or another)

You're best bet is to just walk away... Sure you might play those "What-if" scenarios's in the mind and such, but they go away with time, and if anything -you dont do or say anything to compound the issue-

I'm still personally a little pissed off about that -"Are you still waiting for me?" "Well, you can go. I've got a few places to go before I go to work." -
Comment she made... Thats fucking raw -G

Is it me? Or is it incapable for woman to realize that they can serisouly hurt our feelings sometimes (It's prolly that they just don't fucking care)

You deserve better than that man...

[Baalzamon]

mmmmmmmm.... Guiness :yum


Oh, the rest of the post was really good too ;)

[Baalzamon]

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

posted by O71394658 in jixbys thread. here it is in case you missed it.

Read it. every page, then continue



Chimp, listen to me very carefully... you have unwittingly become an "intellectual whore" (see site). Accept it and move on.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to the best of us :(

Now that you understand it you can handle it better, but you need to accept it.

[Pub Lover]

First phoning attempt!

Answering machine. :(
second calling attempt yesterday was thwarted by a city-wide power failure
The Gods are against your union. :boohoo

[KILLADEUCE]

OMG- This about sums up my last "Relationship"

Cuddle Bitches
cuddle bitch(n) - a guy who never gets to sleep with a girl but gets to have intimate moments with her like cuddling, spooning, or otherwise being affectionate. Usually this will occur in private. She probably considers him a really sweet guy, which is the kiss of death.

First off, cuddle bitches are bad, bad things to be. Maybe the worst thing to be. I mean, being an Intellectual Whore is bad, but being an Intellectual Whore who has to endure blue-balls is bordering on criminal.

As to how it fits into the framework of the ladder.

Basically this is just a guy who has a very high position on the friends ladder. So far up the friends ladder that he gets the dubious honor of getting to provide all the intimacy that a girl is missing when she's off fucking guys who basically don't care about her like outlaw bikers and band members. So he gets to be the proxy father/confessor/friend/teddy bear for her, depending on what she is missing at the time. Perhaps the only consolation of this is a ladder jump to the real ladder seems statistically a little more likely to succeed. Of course, when one is that high up the fall is dreadful indeed.... (Oh yes it is)

How do we know this? Well, if a woman had a nice loving boyfriend then he would be doing all the cuddling and whatnot and likely wouldn't stand for a woman maintaining a stable of cuddle bitches. Unless he's completelty pussified, in which case she's likely fucking some other people anyway.

For guys unacquainted with Ladder Theory, it is even worse. The cuddle bitch often thinks he is on the good ladder as opposed to the real ladder. So he gets all excited about his position instead of realizing he is being completely used. So this poor tool is really setting himself up for a fall at that point. (This is getting a little too specific at this point... I mean this is EXACTLY how it went down PITY ME)


Shit... I am still Falling now, it's been about 5 weeks-

ARGHHHHHHHHGHGHHGHHHHHHHHAHHGSHAHGghgghahFGADSKLHB KNSKLNSDLKNSD...................

Thanks for bringing this back to my attention, i scanned through it when i first saw it posted, finally broke down and really read it... Wow... Almost Prophetic wisdom- Chimp a defnite read man, it won't help the pain, but it may help the perspective- It definitely helped mine.[/b]

[Baalzamon]

Wow, that really sucks man. Have a guiness :/

I've never had the misfortune of being a cuddle bitch, but I am always on the bad ladder instead of the real one, and looking back I see now that I have an unfortunate predisposition for the intellectual whore position :(

After I read that whole site I started to realize just how oddly true it seems to be. It seems that a lot of the things I have seen in the past can easily be explained by it, with uncanny accuracy.

Chimp, think about how the last one ended and you will see exactly why. The ladder theory fits that situation perfectly.

[KILLADEUCE]

HAHAH actually I been sucking down Crown Royal like i was a spokesmodel for Seagrams after this last one.. I honestly thought i was on the "Good" ladder the whole time.

Seeing as this is Chimps thread i won't go on about my prob's but i do wanna say this,

IF anything reading that ladder theory helps because it made me realize I'm not the only one that has gone through a situation like i had (and as such i think it may be helpful to chimp) For some inane reason, it feels good to know other people have been in similar dilema's, (only slightly tho')

Only time can really heal things like this... and finding other woman to pursue.

As hard as it can be sometimes to acknowledge, in some cases it is THE FEELINGS that you had when with a person that felt so good, not the person itself (Which is also why it hurts so much when you don't have those feelings anymore)
Having said that, there is always recourse in the knowledge that it IS Statisically probable that someone else out there can invoke the same feelings in you. As such remember: There are always others out there, and ones that even treat you like you should be treated- AND LAY YOU TOO!

It's all a matter of patience and time...

(God i wish i could take my own fucking advice)

[AChimp]

I read the ladder theory long ago. >:

It was funny. :(

[jin]

I have aspirations to become both an Outlaw Biker and a Band Member.

[KILLADEUCE]

I read the ladder theory long ago.

It's not enough to just read The ladder Theory my boy... Ya gotta live it... Ya gotta Breath it...

If one did, they'd prolly never get laid again...


Or would they?!! :lol

[AChimp]

Eh... the ladder theory is satire. If you were to "live" the ladder theory, you'd end up being one of those asshole guys that picks up hot chicks at bars and then dumps them off at the side of the road (exaggeration, but you know what I'm getting at).

I refuse to stoop to that level, even though I've experimented with it. See, quite a few weeks ago I decided that I might make myself feel better if I started thinking of girls as mere objects, and it did work for a while... until I started feeling guilty and stopped. :(

[Baalzamon]

Oh yeah, the ladder theory is totally geared towards the type of situation where you are simply trying to fuck anything that will let you.

It only applies very loosly to actual relationships between thinking reasonable people(at least you would hope thinking and reasonable)

In real life I would never let ladder theory be any more than a tool to estimate other peoples attitudes towards you at a given moment.

It has some points about the general behaviour and attraction trends and can help predict where things are going, and how to influence them, somewhat, sometimes, maybe.

While reading it it is also easy to point out so many situations you may have witnessed in your life that are rationalized by Ladder theory perfectly, which in my opinion is the fun of the theory altogether.

[Baalzamon]

I refuse to stoop to that level, even though I've experimented with it. See, quite a few weeks ago I decided that I might make myself feel better if I started thinking of girls as mere objects, and it did work for a while... until I started feeling guilty and stopped.


Thats not really the point of the theory IMO.

The idea is to try and figure out why a some girls are too fucking stupid to figure out that the tatoo'd biker who beats the shit out of them and ignores them whenever they get bored probably isnt the best guy for her.

Its also to help normal guys stay the fuck away from these women so they dont end up becoming intellectual whores or cuddle bitches.

All it really talks about is avoiding traps, like the one you are in right now chimp.

As far as helping people like us actually get women, it has very little to offer.

[Anonymous]

J: ME FUCKING TOO. I want to get a tour bike one day and then just roam the country with all my shit under the seat. I'd get in adventures and have to kill people. It would rule all.

[jin]

I wish my life was a Bon Jovi song. :(

[AChimp]

The last couple of day's accomplishments:

1. Convinced krazyCanuk to ask her why I'm on her block/ignore list in MSN. Will buy him some Subway food if he convinces her to talk to me. ;)

2. Phoned. Was told by dad that she is not at home. Dad said he would say I phoned. At least I was told she wasn't at home BEFORE he asked my name. ;)

3. Saw her today getting notes from friends outside of class. Was ignored conspicuously.

:(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

SHE FUCKING HATES YOU, YOU DUMBASS! GET FUCKING OVER HER ALREADY GOD DAMNIT! IT'S SO PATHETIC! FIND SOMEONE WORTH GOING AFTER AT LEAST!


If she doesn't call you back after 2 I want you to swear to never think about her again.


Also, you guys talking about the ladder theory and testing it out... you fail to understand that women are looking for the looks/power/money aspect of a relationship, something you can't provide. :/

[KILLADEUCE]

Also, you guys talking about the ladder theory and testing it out... you fail to understand that women are looking for the looks/power/money aspect of a relationship, something you can't provide


HAhah no shit man, i couldnt agree with that more... Infact all of what ya said royal...

Chimp If she has you blocked on msn etc take the hint .... Walk away, find another girl and rub it in her godamned face... Or not... but move on, it's for the best O.G...

As for the ladder theory, it is tripe... But i found it quite insightful while searching for reasons as to why i never got laid in my last relationship... If anything it was a pretty humorous read.

[AChimp]

:O

I talked to her today. She was friendly, and the D-Man and Baalzamon were there to confirm it.

I asked her if she wanted to go out for coffee or something to talk, and she asked me if there was a specific reason why I'd like to go out and talk, and I was all like, "No. ;) " Then she said that she was busy over the weekend, which is understandable with an exam next week, and it's the long weekend so she was going out somewhere on Monday. I expected her to say she was busy at the moment, but at least she is being nice. :)

Then I complimented her on her new Hello Kitty binder, and she stood right beside a door that kept opening and closing. I told her that she was going to get hit by the door, and when she did I laughed at her, and she was all like, "Yeah, fuck you." and we said goodbye. :)

I'm not depressed anymore. :)

For now. >:

EDIT: Did I mention that she was the one who walked over to me? Cause she did. >:

[KILLADEUCE]

Hold ya head my friend... Hold ya head...

Go grab a brew and have fun for the weekend!

[AChimp]

She suspects that I still want to talk about our relationship, and my letter, because that's why she asked. ;)

She asked all quietly, too. :)

I dunno, but I still think that there's a chance. I'm not going to be a big homo about it all this time, though.

[O71394658]

Since you won the draw, you could easily just send the Triad brothers over to talk to her...

[AChimp]

No, I only won protection on this board. For everything else, I have make gifts like the rest of you.

[O71394658]

Oh...my bad.

But seriously, if she just blows you off like that, do you really believe she's interested?

:confused

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Wow, you poor delusion sucker. I hate this! I hate hate hate this! I hate to see a friend of mine waste so much fucking energy by beating a dead horse. :( Just please please please please get over her and do yourself a favour. There are very very few women worth this much shit.

[AChimp]

Gay. >:

[O71394658]

I think she doesn't like you...but she's just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Just leave her. I think she already left you. :/

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Gay. >:

Yes, you are being extremely gay.

[Baalzamon]

First of all, you didnt tell me that you had gotten Crazy kanuk to get her to talk to you, and that changes things a bit.


I talked to her today. She was friendly, and the D-Man and Baalzamon were there to confirm it.


Yes, she was friendly to you. No that doesnt necessarily mean anything. especially if it was Kanuk who convinced her to talk to you.

I think she doesn't like you...but she's just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Just leave her. I think she already left you.

Truer words where never spoken.


In all fairness, yes you did get her to talk to you, and agree to talk to you at a later date. Thats a good thing, but it took you how many weeks + external assistance to do it?

I will reserve judgement untill this plays out, but you should listen to these people man.

Everything about this points to her attempting to get this out of the way without hurting your feelings.

I dunno, but I still think that there's a chance. I'm not going to be a big homo about it all this time, though.

Maybe now that she realizes what a homo you've been about it shes just trying to do you a favour by clarifying things in a way that will allow you to retain what little dignity you have left. It seems reasonable, because I never really thought she hated you or wished you harm.

When she tells you that shes not interested (and I'm 99% sure she will), please do the right thing, by thanking her sincerely for finally saying so, and then leave her the fuck alone before you mess yourself up again.

On the other hand if you can actually pull this off I will personally take that all back and congratulate you, and possibly even buy you a Guiness.

[AChimp]

I think she doesn't like you...but she's just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Just leave her. I think she already left you.
I'd rather find out from her straight up, though, than guess. She has told me that she still likes me, but has never said "I'm not interested in you," etc. If she doesn't want me around, then she needs the balls to say so. >:

Tropical and soundtest have convinced me that great patience is required, and I have been a gay homo for wanting to rush everything. I had to be called grasshopper before I understood that. :(

EDIT: Baalzamon, you flip-flop on your position too much. >:

krazyCanuk has not talked to her since I convinced him to convince her to talk to me (i.e. I only talked to him yesterday and he hasn't talked to her in that time, so no outside assistance was involved today.) :P

[Baalzamon]

EDIT: Baalzamon, you flip-flop on your position too much.


Too fucking bad. I'm just trying to analyze everything and make sure I give you advice from a variety of different angles.

Would you rather I take one position only and just continually tell you you are gay and stupid like snake pretty much does?

And do you want me to buy you a fucking beer or not? The point of that was to motivate you to prove me wrong ;)

[AChimp]

I threw your whole post into doubt with the rest of my edit! >:

:(

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Would you rather I take one position only and just continually tell you you are gay and stupid like snake pretty much does?"

YOU SHOULD! Because what he is doing is gay and stupid, a waste of time, and is getting him nowhere but stalkerville. Chimp, take this advice from a friend of yours who has actually managed to get a girlfriend and has actually had sex, forget about her! You'll find another girl.

[Baalzamon]

I threw your whole post into doubt with the rest of my edit!


you wish.

You disproved a single point, and one that my argument did not rely on in any way. Just because there was no outside assistance does not mean that she wanted to jump in your pants :P

You look like your a lot more level headed about it this time around, and thats good. I'm just trying to help you keep it all in prospective. Hold it together and things will work out.

YOU SHOULD! Because what he is doing is gay and stupid, a waste of time, and is getting him nowhere but stalkerville.

Its one thing to advise him and tell him what we think the consequences of his actions will be, its quite another to just insult him mercilessly. Its not really going to make him want to listen to us, is it chimp?

I'm more of the opinion that he'll get the "just friends" deal. It will only lead to stalkerville if he acts like a homo about it. So I advise that he takes it in stride and tries to end the conversation on decent terms. I do not advise that he is "gay and stupid".

And I see no reason to tell him that he shouldnt even try. He could actually prove us wrong, despite the odds against him. I for one would be happy to see him succeed. I simply dont think he will in this situation, but it cant hurt to try as long as he handles it properly. It is fairly safe IMO for chimp to talk to her, even if it doesnt work out, because he has a really good chance of salvaging dignity in the situation either way.

You are just pissed off because if Chimp actually pulls this off he will have a girlfriend that you hate. Thats too fucking bad. Just because you cant handle each other doesnt mean that he should just give it all up to keep you happy. Just because you hate her doesnt mean he has to too.

There are lots of decent people that you hate, for no other reason to be a difficult son of a bitch, and If I just stopped talking to all of them for your sake I would have a lot fewer friends.

Leave Chimp be, let him make his own mistakes.

I feel my only duty here is to tell him what I think will happen. If he doesnt listen to me, calling him gay and stupid wont change his mind, so I see no purpose to it.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

Wow, that was retarded. *DELETED*? I could care less about her; I don't hate her, but I don't particuallarily like her, I don't really have an opinion on her except that she treats *DELETED* like shit. I definitely won't be mad if he hooks up with her. What do I care, I have a girlfriend, I'm extremely happy in my relationship, and I want all my friends to be happy.

[Baalzamon]

So chimp, whats the deal?

BUMP

Did something bad happen that you dont feel like talking about?

Or did you decide you are better off just letting it go and decided to leave her alone?

Feel free to give yes or no answers to those questions. I have no interest in any more than that.

I doubt you are interested in telling all of us personal details at this point anyway.

I'm just curious considering your level of excitement a week ago, and the fact that there has been no post for 6 days.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

maybe she killed him. :/

[AChimp]

I haven't talked to her for a week, so nothing has really happened. Maybe I will see her on Monday. :/

I'm not going out of my way to see her or anything, though. I must have patience. ;)

[Baalzamon]

Oh yeah, I'm sure in a few months she'll still feel like talking to you ;)

:lol

[Royal Tenenbaum]

"Leave Chimp be, let him make his own mistakes."

[Baalzamon]

I said nothing about lighthearted sarcasm

[Royal Tenenbaum]

BULLSHIT! :lol

[Baalzamon]

:lol

Whatever man. If its funny and its not too mean, I'm saying it, and I dont give a shit.

[Protoclown]

I don't believe this, but I actually agree with Snake.

Chimp, forget about her, you're wasting your time, and you're headed straight into stalkerville.

If she actually wanted to talk to you, she would make herself available to talk to. And I'm not talking about once or twice out of some sense of duty or in an attempt to put closure on the situation, I'm saying she would actually MAKE AN EFFORT to spend time with you.

She's not. So obviously, this is going nowhere.

Hell, I used to think you had to struggle to convince girls that you were worth their attention. That you constantly have to strive to convince them to like you. That you regularly have to deal with being ignored if you weren't convincing enough. That's just how I thought it worked. But it's not that way. It's not that way at all. You really DON'T have to beg for female attention, even though that's what I always thought you had to do to get it.

The problem is that you're obsessing. I used to do that with girls I liked, and now that I've started seeing it in other people, I'm realizing what a huge problem that was for me. And it's probably why I never had a girlfriend.

Give it up and move on, dude. This is TOTALLY not worth it. I promise you it's not, and I don't even know you or her.

[AChimp]

:(

I know you're right. The letter made me feel a lot better, and I have no expectations anymore. If she wants to talk to me, well, maybe she will sometime in the future.

It's hard to ignore it, though. This is still gonna bother me for a long time. :/

[Anonymous]

if it makes you feel any better, i stalk my girlfriend too :<

[sadie]

the only difference is how the attention is received.

[Royal Tenenbaum]

I agree with Protoclown agreeing with me.

[AChimp]

I AM CURED.

[Anonymous]

The only difference being I don't follow her anywhere and I have sex with her :<

[sadie]

do you guys check out the guys together, chojin? >:

[Anonymous]

yes :>

[kellychaos]

BUMP!

< Kellychaos Looks Around Then Yells For Echo >

Yeesh! I thought this would be bigger by now. :/

P.S. ... and Baalzy, quit livin' vicariously through the Chimp. It's not healthy. :becauseicare :(

[KILLADEUCE]

Hell, I used to think you had to struggle to convince girls that you were worth their attention. That you constantly have to strive to convince them to like you. That you regularly have to deal with being ignored if you weren't convincing enough. That's just how I thought it worked. But it's not that way. It's not that way at all. You really DON'T have to beg for female attention, even though that's what I always thought you had to do to get it.

The problem is that you're obsessing. I used to do that with girls I liked, and now that I've started seeing it in other people, I'm realizing what a huge problem that was for me. And it's probably why I never had a girlfriend.


Proto, this is very well put. I am now just starting to realize these things myself- And i couldnt agree more.

I think everyone should go through a situation like this once in their life so they can become better at working with the opposite sex and better themselves when the next girl/guy comes around. Experience comes with learning from mistakes-

[Protoclown]

What if you only learn from watching other people make mistakes? Does that count as "experience"?

[Krythor]

SEINFELD RERUNS DON'T COUNT :lol

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I still think Chimp should sleep in her back yard and jack off in her mailbox...>:

[soundtest]

Girls like a challenge as much as guys do (or don't). If a girl knows you like her and are obsessing over her she'll either a) get bored if she liked you, or b) get creeped out if she didn't. Act like you just don't give a fuck and you have better things happening and she might be interested. Brush her off! Make it look like you're a real mover and shaker! All about attitude and balance. But wtf do I know... my advice is listen closely to any ladies that replied here.

[OperationScuzBucket]

Wow this sounds really familiar. There's this guy who's liked me for about a year now...we'll call him "Carl" for explanation purposes. I thought he was cool at first, but then he got really frustrating and creepy. To this day he's still trying to get me to go out with him. I was really nice at first, trying my best not to hurt him while letting him down and even acting really friendly, but he was a stubborn boy and wouldn't take a hint, so I ended up telling him I was a lesbian....that fell through when I dated a guy a few weeks later. When he bitched to me about it, I was mean. I've started just telling him straight-out that he annoys the shit out of me and that I'm not attracted to him at all, and yet he's STILL trying. He wrote me a poem. A BAD poem. "I think of you, I'm thinking of me, will you and I become a we?"

...ick.

My point? She doesn't like you. I can tell because she's acting just how I used to act around "Carl". You may not be like him (for your sake I hope not...) but she is definitely not right for you. Move on before she gets completely pissed and turns into psycho-bitch.