The Official "FUCK VALENTINE'S DAY" Thread

[James]

With VD right around the corner (Haha, get it? VD is Valentine's Day but it's also Venerial Disease!), I figure it's time we had this thread.

So, post some of your past VD experiences (Valentine's or Venerial). None of the good ones, though. We don't need any of your happy ending bullshit ruining this thread. >:

I'll start off with mine.

Senior year of High School, I went all out for Valentine's Day. There was a girl who I really liked, and she mentioned she liked koalas. So I went online and bought her a little Valentine's bear. Then while searching the site some more, I found a koala, so I got that one too. Anyway, I also bought 2 roses, some boxes of chocolate, and a beanie baby pony, (This was all for 5 different people).

So here's what happened. My friends were kind of making fun of me for getting all this stuff. I gave one girl a box of chocolates (nothing else. she had a boyfriend, and I didn't wanna give the wrong idea), and she gave me a hug. That shut my friends up.

Then, the girl I liked, I gave her a rose and chocolates, and told her to meet me after school. Now, I should point this out: The two bears didn't seem like that big a deal... til they arrived, in really huge house-shaped boxes. The bears were like 18 inches in size, and the site said they were 10. So I knew that I was gonna wierd her out giving her these two giant bears. I might as well have dressed up like Cupid and humped her leg.

Moving on, I gave another good friend of mine a rose and chocolates, and a friend of mine was right there saying "Man, James is a little Cassanova! Look at you, man."

Then I gave this other friend of mine the pony (she kept saying she wanted a pony, so I got the beanie baby as a joke sort of present), and I gave her chocolates. She hugged me. I gave another friend chocolates.

End of the day, the girl comes by. I give her the two bears, and a letter telling her about how I felt (as if the giant bears weren't a dead giveaway). I told her not to open the letter until the weekend, because we'd then have a week vacation, which would give her time to "get over it" if need be.

So, yeah. 5 girls, 2 hugs, $60 less in my wallet.

Oh, and the girl I liked didn't speak to me again for the rest of the year. I don't blame her.

[Helm]

With fifty bucks you could have bought a class whore for an evening of proper VD celebration. Fucking give-me-a-gift-so-I-will-not-put-out day.

[AChimp]

You should have hid your boner while talking to her. :(

[Les Waste]

GODDAMMIT >:

If woman want the fucking right to vote and be treated as equals and be protected by anti-murder and rape laws, they don't fucking deserve to have me waste my goddamn money on them so I can get absolutely nothing in return.

>: >: >:

[Helm]

anti-murder LOL

[Rev. Danno]

the worst for me was 2/14/'94
My mother died two days after my 18th Birthday.
My girlfriend broke up with me, & my mother was coming to pick me up from the party I was at, & while I was waiting for her to get me she was broad sided by a semi-truck.
I was so mad at my mother because she woulnd't come to pick me up. I had to sit at this party, & watch my ex hang all over this new guy she had left me for. my ex got tired of watching me mope around the party and told me she'd give me a ride home.
I found out my mother had died by seeing my younger brother, & mt Father standing on the side of the rode with the Parametics, & Police. She died on the way to the hospital.
Golly Jamesman, I'm sorry that girl never talked to you again,
If thats the worst thing that ever happened to you count your self
lucky.

[LegoLars]

i suck ass. that's why i hate VD

[Jixby Phillips]

In high school I made some SUPER CYNICAL MEAN valentines day cards and gave them out for laughter :lol me and my friends set up a booth next to some gay school club who was selling valentines day cards for the school and we got them all pissed off and I almost got the shit beat out of me by a nerd lol

This girl jumped on me and humped me because it was so cool 8) she did that once some other time but I don't remember why. I think she was a whore or something lol

[Krythor]

:lol

[sadie]

damn, danno. that's pure suckiness. :(

valentine's day sucks. since when does buying someone some shit mean something? fuck that.

[mburbank]

Dano, is that story true? If it is, you can win every time anybody complains about anything. Which is kind of a silver lining, I guess.

[slavemason]

The first VD present I got for my Lady was a cast iron skillet. The old ladies she worked with told her then and there that I was a keeper. Scrambled egg love oh yeah.

[Protoclown]

Dude, like ANYbody is going to care that it's Valentine's day. Everybody is more concerned with the REAL cause of celebration this week: DAREDEVIL DAY! :love

[glowbelly]

i'm having an anti-valentine's day party at my house on saturday, february 15. if you know where i live, you should show up.

[Protoclown]

I WISH I COULD COME :(

Oh, and two things in response to this thread:

1. Danno, I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss you suffered. I can't even imagine such a thing.

2. To me, the obligatory Valentine's Day gift giving seems an extremely shallow and hollow act. I make a vow right here and now, that if I am ever lucky enough to find myself in a loving relationship, I will NEVER buy a box of chocolates or give a crappy Hallmark card, or in fact, do ANYTHING for Valentine's Day out of an obligatory sense of duty to show my love. I will in fact, give gifts on any other day BUT Valentine's Day, what I WANT to give, WHEN I want to give it, and something that has MEANING, not some factory produced card. And on Valentine's Day, I will show my love in other, more meaningful ways than Hallmark or Hershey's could ever understand. SO SWEARS PROTOCLOWN! (I had to end it with that comic book feel, sorry)

[whoreable]

word.

i dont do shit for valentines day and i dont think i ever should.
________
White Girls live (http://www.girlcamfriend.com/webcam/white-girls/)

[Rongi]

What the hell is 'Valentines Day' :/?

[Stabby]

http://www.angelfire.com/wi3/rgounder1/images/somethingawful/rejectedvalentines/sapprv-cookdinnerbitch.jpg

[Mockery]

I will NEVER buy a box of chocolates

Then you're a fool. Those chocolates are damned tasty! The whitman's samplers with the chocolate caramels!!!!!! :faint

It's the obnoxious pink plush toys 'n crap that I hate. It's like the entire world becomes pink for a day and you're supposed to give your loved one something like this:

http://store6.yimg.com/I/bear-gear_1726_8920664

Re and I are gonna go out for a nice dinner that night... sure as hell beats a goddamned stuffed bear. >:

If you're gonna give somebody a plush bear on Valentine's Day, it had damned well better be a Mori Chack bear:

http://www.ufocatcher.net/ufoplush/bearbrick/images/chax2.jpg

:domo

[Rongi]

My mum usually sends me a card, and thats it. Valentine's day for me is like any other day, except on this day there are thousands of crappy tv specials :(.

[Anonymous]

My guardian force and I buy each other crap all the time, but I think and hope she's gonna get me a stun baton because I never shut up about wanting one. :(

But she has had pretty bad luck with Valentine's day and relationships ending on or around that day. One guy she dated broke up with her before it and then got back with her just after it and did the same thing on her birthday. If he was just doing it to avoid gifts, that is both the most horrible and hilarious thing I've ever heard.

*By the way, I think it's funny to hear virgins bitching about buying presents on VD to 'justify your love.' It's just something nice to do, the weight of the relationship doesn't hang in the balance. And if it does, you're going out with a daffy motard to begin with. Personally, I'm jus gonna make somethin cool myself. Probably. Ab dunno. ;<

And I love Valentine's day, mostly BECAUSE it rose-tints mah world. ;>

PINK FOREVAH

** USE OF THE WORD 'VIRGIN' DOES NOT IN ANY WAY CONDESCEND TO YOU FAGGOTS, IT'S JUST THAT JIXBY GOT ME HOOKED ON IT AS A DEROGATORY TERM. FUCK YALL HATAS RIP BABYGURL.

[Rongi]

My parents once broke up on my mom's birth day, then on christmas, and once on their aniversery :(.

[slavemason]

Valentines Day reminds me that we need more angry gods and fiery volcanoes.

[Ninjavenom]

I'm with proto and whoreable. Who needs a calendar to tell them when to show affection? :/

[Anonymous]

It's just like any other worthless holiday for which you don't get time off of work; an excuse to rape the consumer of more of their money in a fit of frivolous, contrived commercialism.

But I don't see why you have to hate it more than any other 'holiday,' other than because it's the cool thing to do.

[Rongi]

Yeah but valentine's day is just a reminder that everyone is happy with someone else except me :/

[whoreable]

I GET GOOD STUFF AT CHRISTMAS. AND I BUY VERY LITTLE. I AM AN ASSHOLE
________
FISTING GIRL (http://www.fucktube.com/categories/571/girl/videos/1)

[Ninjavenom]

I don't really hate Valentine's day, though i think that what people construe it as is worthless. If you wanna buy your woman flowers or candy, great. But if you feel like you HAVE to because Hallmark says so, you've got the holiday all wrong.

[Mockery]

It's just like any other worthless holiday for which you don't get time off of work;

hol·i·day n.
A day free from work that one may spend at leisure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event.


It's not a true holiday if you don't get time off of work. >:

[mew barios]

i like valentine's day. i mean :/ i never buy anything. but yknow, sometimes you get all caught up in the hustle n bustle of the everyday, and it's just nice to take that time out and let your frens know how much you love em.

plus all that candy goes on sale the next day. it's like halloween: the sequel :o

[Anonymous]

lol :(

[MrAdventure]

Does that make Easter and Christmas sale candy a spin-off series? :(

[Protoclown]

I don't hate Valentine's Day more than I hate most holidays...I just think that obligatory gifts are shallow and meaningless.

[mew barios]

easter and christmas are kinda in a whole different class. cuz they're not affiliated wit satan n junk.

[MrAdventure]

Leave It To Jesus :rolleyes

[GnrySgtHartman]

You have pretty eyes.

[Malevolent]

Would a lady in the audience please translate the following from Womenese to English?

"You don't have to get my anything for Valentine's Day. I don't want anything."

[Protoclown]

Okay, I don't speak Womanese, but MY interpretation of that...you don't have to get her anything, but you'd damn sure better do SOMETHING to show her that she means a lot to you!

[AChimp]

"You don't have to get my anything for Valentine's Day. I don't want anything."
That soooo means she wants you to take her to a tittie bar. :)

[Les Waste]

plus all that candy goes on sale the next day. it's like halloween: the sequel :o
OMG That's right!! :eek

Last year I went to K-Mart like 2 or 3 days after Valentine's Day to exchange my roommate's broken copy of Echo the Dolphin for Dreamcast (I hate that fucking game >:) and they were selling the biggest fucking boxes of Whitman Sampler's for a buck a piece. They were double deckers! You eat all the candy on top and there was another layer! That's all I ate for four days.

:)

[The Retro Kat]

You don't have to get my anything for Valentine's Day. I don't want anything.


All I have to say is it's bullshit. She wants stuff. You best get her some shit or no fucking for a long time, or she dumps you.

[Mockery]

plus all that candy goes on sale the next day. it's like halloween: the sequel :o

:lol Those lil' cinnamon candies... :o they r00l!

[sadie]

wtf is a guardian force?

[Anonymous]

It's an inside joke from Final Fantasy 8...summons were called 'Guardian Forces,' but abbreviated to 'gf' in the menus. So, it's like a backwards reference. Yeah.

[sadie]

oh. :rolleyes

[Protoclown]

Like, oh my GOD! DORK ALERT!!! :lol

[PREP~*~*~*]

awww you need a teddy bear!!! :boohoo :) Muah~*~*~*

[Anonymous]

Like, oh my GOD! DORK ALERT!!! :lol
LIKE, YOU DIDN'T NEED TO ANNOUNCE YOUR ENTRY INTO THIS THREAD! LOL! COMEBACK! :lol

[roonTing]

VD is GREAT for men. It lets us get away with only showing our love, something that should already be known and appreciated, but isn't, only once a year. YAY LOVE DAY!

[Carnivore]

I don't like holidays that make me poorer.

[roonTing]

Poorer in pocket, but richer in LOVE carnie. :) :rolleyes :gay :hangself

[jin]

I NEED A HUG.

[PREP~*~*~*]

I like VALENTINE'S DAY....i like every holiday because i like shopping and buying things for ppl...its fun, i don't care if i go broke.....if buying a $120 dollar shirt puts a smile on one of my friends' face, then its all worth it... :)

[Protoclown]

However, if buying a $120 shirt puts a swarm of locusts or say, a cup full of battery acid on your face, it's MORE than worth it.

[DiRt GuY]

Oh boy, Ravekitty is back!

[Blackjack]

I pride myself on never havin been anything but single on Valentine's Day.

BUT if any of you happen to be at the Old Heavygate Inn tonight, we're having a beach party, with Hawiian shirts and a sandcastle building competition, in a pub, with no references to Valentine's day whatsoever. See you there!

http://www.299springvale.clara.net/art/new18.jpg

That's me in the Heavygate at New Year, dressed as Jimmy Saville...?

[Protoclown]

Dude...you TOTALLY look like Brent Spiner in that picture.

[James]

I await Chojin's photshopping skills, to provide a word bubble for the fellow on the right-hand side.

[Blackjack]

Yeah, check out the Papalazzarou dressed guy! He even had clothes pegs in his coat like in the TV show!

http://www.299springvale.clara.net/art/new4.jpg

Rock on. :rock

[James]

In that first pic, he just looks like, "Yes... enjoy it while you can. Soon, she will be mine. Muahahahahaha!"

[Matt Harty]

Valentines day can get screwed sideways for all I care, i'm miserable either way.

Today was the first time I had a girlfriend during v-day, and the fact that i'm forced to by her the chocolate and presents is a load of shit. I skipped the flowers too.

I pondered bringing in a bag of seeds and saying "Plant your own fucking flowers" :dunce

[Mockery]

Our V-Day consisted of going into Carytown, looking at all the cool shit in Plan 9, getting some food at "The Eatery" (one of the best places to get cheap 'n tasty food in Richmond), going to an independent video store to rent a bunch of Twin Peaks season 2 episodes, and buying some new comic books (I got a Flaming Carrot comic that has Christopher Walken, Luciano Pavarotti, and Fabio in it! :love)

And now we watch Twin Peaks all night. A fine V-Day. :rock

http://209.95.35.130/covers/99/99373.jpg

[Anonymous]

yep and I bought arkham asylum comic, some matte finishing spray for pastels, and ate shrimp fried rice
besides twin peaks I also rented "six ways till sunday" because I heard is was supposed to be a good movie



as for valentines day -

I hated/dreaded valentines day as a little kid because every year they made you make this sorta heart shaped "mailbox" out of construction paper with your name on it and hang it on the wall, then on valentines day all the kids would drop off their cutey little cards in peoples "mailboxes". And I was the only kid that NEVER fucking got a damn single valentines :(

[Malevolent]

I thought you were going to say that you always cut on the unfolded side and ended up with two half-hearts :lol

[Protoclown]

Dude!! Reid Fleming, World's Toughest Milkman rocks! Karen introduced me to him!

[Mockery]

Hehe yep. You'd love what Flaming Carrot did to Raphael in some of the earlier comics. It rocks.