The most horrible thing about Episode 3 (SPOILERS)

[Protoclown]

Okay, so we've heard now that Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3, and we've heard that George Lucas is having the actors grow shaggy, 70s style hair, so that things seem to flow more "believably" into Episode 4.

But worse than either of those is the fact that Chewbacca is going to be delivering the twin babies of Luke and Leia. Yep, Chewbacca is Padme's fucking midwife.

:puke :puke :puke

[Rongi]

Well...at least he won't be able to ruin Star Wars anymore :(

Unless he makes a sequel to Return Of The Jedi

Good god I hope not :tear

[HickMan]

Look how far we got from the 70's! Ol' Georgie had something going on and then... POOF! Gayness! Just like that. Wouldn't Chewie say something to Luke? Or at least say something to Han to tell Luke? Gayness... Pure Gayness.

[Skulhedface]

"The FORCE! Any time some inaccuracy is pointed out, THE FORCE DID IT!" ~ anonymous quote (meaning I forgot the damn source)

[Miss Modular]

Okay, so we've heard now that Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3, and we've heard that George Lucas is having the actors grow shaggy, 70s style hair, so that things seem to flow more "believably" into Episode 4.

So Natalie Portman will be sporting a Farrah-'do in Episode 3?

Why don't they wear bouffants instead? I think the continuity would flow better, because I doubt Luke and Leia would be able to age twenty years overnight.

[El Blanco]

As long as Portman's clothing gets progressivly scantier, will it be so bad?



Oh, wait. Chewbacca. Ya. thats gonna suck.

[executioneer]

I thought I heard something about that way before they even started filming Episode 1 :/

-willie

[Zero Signal]

Um, Proto, where did you hear this from? And how much validity does it have?

I found this:

"Stylists have been working on Hayden Christensen's and Ewan MacGregor's locks to give them shaggy 70s-style dos so Episode III blends seamlessly with Episode IV - filmed more than 20 years ago."

on news.com.au, but only two cast members having that done? Who cares? I mean really.

[Protoclown]

I found it on www.theforce.net, under the Episode III Latest News section.

It is of course, suspect, as all the news reports are, but the people who run the website seem to believe it. Comes from an interview with Peter Mayhew, the actor who plays Chewie.

[Zbu Manowar]

I'm thinking of a word....it involves being a lazy writer and somehow making everyone related so you don't have to work on character development by making all of your creations related so any kind of development is implied, not actually created by any effort at all.....anybody know what I'm talking about? It's the same stuff that they used on the X-Men books until they forgot about Days of Future Past. What is it called again?

[AChimp]

:wah

Chewie gets to touch Natalie Portman and I don't!!!!! :(

[Zomboid]

Episodes 1 and 2 sucked so 3 was likely to suck too, but now it's simply confirmed :(

What I wanna know is, what the fuck is wrong with george lucas? Seriously, he must've lost his fucking mind sometime before episode 1.

[Zero Signal]

Episodes 1 and 2 sucked so 3 was likely to suck too, but now it's simply confirmed :(

What I wanna know is, what the fuck is wrong with george lucas? Seriously, he must've lost his fucking mind sometime before episode 1.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, however, I very much disagree.

[noob3]

The Jedi/Rebellion rule is corny. ANH/ESB rocked because the Empire was in control, towards the end of ROTJ it started to suck with the Ewoks and shit because the Rebellion gained power again.

This is why Episode 1 & 2 suck. Episode 3 will be rated R, man. It will have a sub g-movie like plot with Padme giving birth and shit, but then people will just start exploding.

[Zomboid]

Episodes 1 and 2 sucked so 3 was likely to suck too, but now it's simply confirmed :(

What I wanna know is, what the fuck is wrong with george lucas? Seriously, he must've lost his fucking mind sometime before episode 1.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, however, I very much disagree.

You liked episodes 1 and 2?

[crash0814]

I'm thinking of a word....it involves being a lazy writer and somehow making everyone related so you don't have to work on character development by making all of your creations related so any kind of development is implied, not actually created by any effort at all.....anybody know what I'm talking about? It's the same stuff that they used on the X-Men books until they forgot about Days of Future Past. What is it called again?

Uh...I dunno.

[Ninjavenom]

Let's be fair here, three things made episode one suck: Anakin, Jar-Jar, and the fucking Gungans. I'll let the japanese-accented Viceroy slide. Darth Maul was bad as shit, and i loved his death.

Two was medicore at best. Anakin, once again, ruined the shit out of the movie. Anakin and Padme's romance was far too corny. Maybe Lucas meant it to be that way because they were teenagers. I don't know. They could have gotten someone a little less generic for anakin, though. Christ, the kid looked like he was a fucking plaster-cast of someone just as boring and talentless. And i'm not forgiving Lucas for ruining Boba Fett for me. Ever. He was singlehandedly the coolest alien in Star Wars. Better than the Rancor, better than the Wampa, better than the Saarlacc, even better than that walrus-fella who got his arm chopped off. I forgot his name right now :(. But anyway, Fett was supposed to be some mysterious, destructive, twisted husk of something, not some rather faggoty aussie kid with curly black locks. I rooted for Fett when he tried to escape the Saarlacc, goddammit! Now i hope he just mysteriously bursts into flames in episode three, and he's WIPED from the trilogy. Thanks a lot george, i guess now i'll have to like Zuckuss :rolleyes. At least Yoda and Sammy kicked some ass. :/

As for 3, i still have hopes for it. In all honestly, i think it might turn out good. Anakin finally gets to be a bad guy again, and hopefully we'll get to see Obi-Wan toss him into some mean-ass acid. Yoda might kick some more ass, and i assume Sam Jackson's gonna die. I hope Billy Dee-Williams makes a cameo. :o

[Zero Signal]

Let's be fair here, three things made episode one suck: Anakin, Jar-Jar, and the fucking Gungans. I'll let the japanese-accented Viceroy slide. Darth Maul was bad as shit, and i loved his death.
Jar-Jar, while a tad annoying, does serve a purpose. Apparently, you were not paying any attention during Episode II, or perhaps you just like to open your mouth and let any nugget of ignorance issue forth.

They could have gotten someone a little less generic for anakin, though. Christ, the kid looked like he was a fucking plaster-cast of someone just as boring and talentless.
Maybe they had you in mind when they cast him.

And i'm not forgiving Lucas for ruining Boba Fett for me. Ever. He was singlehandedly the coolest alien in Star Wars. Better than the Rancor, better than the Wampa, better than the Saarlacc, even better than that walrus-fella who got his arm chopped off. I forgot his name right now :(. But anyway, Fett was supposed to be some mysterious, destructive, twisted husk of something, not some rather faggoty aussie kid with curly black locks. I rooted for Fett when he tried to escape the Saarlacc, goddammit! Now i hope he just mysteriously bursts into flames in episode three, and he's WIPED from the trilogy. Thanks a lot george, i guess now i'll have to like Zuckuss :rolleyes. At least Yoda and Sammy kicked some ass. :/
What the FUCK are you talking about? Boba Fett is a HUMAN; he always was and not this weird fucked up shit you evidently pulled out of your ass. Humans start as children, remember?

You make it sound like Boba does not even grow up and he is like that throughout the rest of the movies. :rolleyes

[Command Prompt]

I think one day they should take the top ten star wars nerds and the top ten star trek nerds and let them battle to the death inside a steel cage ring with weapons.

If you've ever watched that "Beat the Geeks" game show I think one good look at the Star Wars special guest geek will now settle all past, present and future arguments about star wars.


PS I think that the new episodes really suck. I think the real reason they suck is that the sucky actors in the movie know the movies suck, but they are nobodys that need the money but still can't force themselves to belive that the movie doesn't suck.

George Lucas has obviously become addicted to those cigarettes that are dipped in embalming fluid and is selling out his franchise to get the cash to pay for his habit. Just like T3.

[AChimp]

Episode 1 and Episode 2 both smoke long cocks. >:

Episode 1 for all the same reasons that have been outlined already, and I especially hate Episode 2 for having made Anakin some pouty faggot.

The CG effects were used WAAAAAAAY too much. What the hell is wrong with Warwick Davies in a Yoda costume? You know they were overdoing it when Padme bites that piece of fruit in midair and the alignment is completely off. >:

[Zero Signal]

What the hell is wrong with Warwick Davies in a Yoda costume?He is only 3x Yoda's size, that is all. :rolleyes

[Bennett]

The purpose that Jar-Jar served to advance what was to begin with a shitty plot didn't justify Jar-Jar-Blackface.

I also must agree that Boba Fett was ruined by Episode II. Why did Lucas feel the need to explain everything? It was obvious that a large part of his appeal was the mystery. And the fact that we didn't know that he was human, we didn't know his background, we didn't know exactly how he got his get-up made him even more of a bad-ass. And then when we find out that he's just a clone of his father, who is the original bad-ass... sorry, but I had higher expectations of Boba Fett than to find out he was just a clone, and his whole motivation is the death of his father? Can we find something a little more tired? Yeah, that background info really made Boba Fett seem cool... thanks for filling us in George.

Here's the other major issue I have with over-explaining... the whole metachlorean thing. This completely destroyed the force. The Force, the art of being a Jedi, was always much more mystical and spiritual, than whether or not you had a certain amount of metachloreans in your bloodstream. Go back to ESB, and listen to yoda talk about the force, he says it flows throughout the universe, and even mentions that the force is in a "rock"... how many metachloreans does that rock have.

George Lucas is a no-necked-frog-faced-bitch. I rant no more.

[Zero Signal]

Go back to ESB, and listen to yoda talk about the force, he says it flows throughout the universe, and even mentions that the force is in a "rock"... how many metachloreans does that rock have.
Metacloreans do not exude the Force, the allow one to control it. Is that really so hard for you to understand?

[Bennett]

Is it hard for you to understand that it was much more interesting when it wasn't based around some pseudo-science bullshit? Is it hard for you to understand that by saying that it's metachloreans that allow one to control the force, it turns into something that is inside your blood and not inside your soul. Is it hard for you to understand how episodes I and II are festering piles of shit?

[Zero Signal]

Is it hard for you to understand that it was much more interesting when it wasn't based around some pseudo-science bullshit?
Yeah, I forgot it was science fiction. :rolleyes

Is it hard for you to understand that by saying that it's metachloreans that allow one to control the force, it turns into something that is inside your blood and not inside your soul.
You must have fallen asleep through every single Star Wars movie. It DOES take what is inside of your soul; hence, the Light and Dark sides of the Force. What propagates the ability to actual use the Force is irrelevant compared to the sheer will of determination it takes to wield it effectively.

Is it hard for you to understand how episodes I and II are festering piles of shit?
In your opinion, perhaps.

[Bennett]

I would consider it to be more fantasy than science fiction, but that is my opinion...

by your own words, if it is irrelevant, what purpose can it serve? What good was done by introducing metachloreans?

[CastroMotorOil]

it really is much more fantasy then science fiction. It contains wizards, heroes, damsels in distress, and evil warlords. Boba fett really was not ruined much for me, considering he does not wear his fathers armor, he is still a badass and stuff, plus is you read any of the books he does not die in the sarlacc, he kicks its ass. The midichlorians thing sucks, but t does not go against anything in the other movies. They are what give living things the ability to manipulate the force. Technically all livings things have them, only some people have more. The force is still mystical and shit, its described as a religion is ep 4. grr im way to big of a star wars geek. i bought galaxies the day it came out :(

[Zero Signal]

I would consider it to be more fantasy than science fiction, but that is my opinion...

by your own words, if it is irrelevant, what purpose can it serve? What good was done by introducing metachloreans?
Science fantasy is a more applicable term, I suppose.

Did I say it was completely irrelevant? No.

"What propagates the ability to actually use the Force is irrelevant compared to the sheer will of determination it takes to wield it effectively."

[Ninjavenom]

I realize that Jar-Jar had a purpose, but he could have been far less annoying about it, just as the Gungans could have been.

Very funny comment, Zero :rolleyes. Shit, i'm not claiming to be different than other people or any of that other bullshit. What i'm whining about is how the kid they picked looked like some doofus they just picked off the street as they drove by him. I have seen at least six other people on my school alone that look just like him. His performance was awful, too. He delivered his lines with a hackney and played-out manner. Maybe it's just the way the lines were written. I don't know, but it bugged the shit out of me.

Also, you misinterpreted what i said about Fett. His appeal was that no one knew what, or who the hell he was. You only say he's human because you know that now. Before episode II, he was whatever anyone wanted to imagine him being. Don't tell me you knew he was human then, either. He never talked, and his shape could have been that of any humanoid creature, not just a human. He was mysterious, and dangerous, that's all we knew. Now we know that he's some curly-haired Australian clone boy. That completely ruins everything about him. I can't think of him as a mysterious and ruthless bounty hunter when i see him from now on, because i saw him as a child. He was a boring, blubbering crybaby, and as Bennett said, his motive was old and tired.

[Skulhedface]

Well, it was only one or two lines, but Boba Fett DID talk.

"Bring Solo to the ship" or something like that.

Ahh, but he didn't have an Australian accent! P'shaw!

[Bennett]

Whether it is completely irrelevant, or irrelevant compared to something else, the question still remains, what good does it do to advancing the already established story?

[Rongi]

I wish someone would just assasinate Lucas :(

[ShanghaiOrange]

"The FORCE! Any time some inaccuracy is pointed out, THE FORCE DID IT!" ~ anonymous quote (meaning I forgot the damn source)

That's from the Simpsons except it was "A wizard" instead of "The Force". It's from the one with Xena.

[El Blanco]

"Bring Solo to the ship" or something like that.

"Put Captain Solo in the crago hold."


BOW TO MY UBERGEEKDOM!!!

I like the background Fett was given in the books. He was a lawman who went after a crooked politician and was banished from his home planet. He wasn't evil for the sake of being evil. It was because he had a black and white view.

And Zero, have you been to http://www.stardestroyer.net ? I think you'd like it.

[Protoclown]

Okay, let me lay this out for all you Boba Fett fans. His "badass appeal" ended the very SECOND he was killed by a blind man with a stick. I liked him when I was younger, and he certainly does look cool. But now knowing all of his past, knowing who his "father" was and how he grew to hate the Jedi makes his eventual chumpy death all the more pathetic. At least "daddy" got his head cut off by a Jedi rather than being ACCIDENTALLY KILLED by a cripple.

And don't even give me that crap about how he survived and is such a badass in the books. Most of those books are shit. Yeah, it's really cool that Dengar helped him out after he escaped the Sarlaac. And then Boba Fett was the best man at Dengar's wedding. Yeah, that's just awesome. Oh, and then there's the fact that a naked Princess Leia was thrown into Boba Fett's quarters in Jabba's Palace, so Boba Fett, being a hardcore proponant of JUSTICE, covered her with a blanket and gave her his bunk, while he slept on the floor. What a great guy! I love how the special edition of ROTJ pretty much negates all of that shit about Boba Fett being this really moralistic guy by having him macking on the scummy dancing chicks. In the movies, he is a scummy bastard.

And the fact that George Lucas felt the need to insert him into the New Hope special edition just makes him suck even more. Now, rather than being the most fearsome bounty hunter in the galaxy, he appears to be little more than one of Jabba's cronies, just hanging around the big fat slug like he's got nothing better to do. In ROTJ he was just killing off some time after dropping off a bounty, spending some cash, having fun with the ladies...but the New Hope thing was just gratuitous. And it completely changes my perception of the character.

As for the prequels, on SOME levels I enjoy them both. However, neither one of them even COMPARES to the weakest of the original three (ROTJ, in my opinion). George Lucas has done a piss poor job of fitting them seamlessly into the overall story. Rather than plan everything out ahead, it seems that he's just pulling shit out of his ass and now he's struggling to fit big square pegs into little round holes. And he's talking about going back and revising the OLD trilogy so it all fits together. That's backasswards. He SHOULD have written the new trilogy to fit with the old from the beginning.

Let's face it, George Lucas is a very poor, sloppy storyteller. He's a GREAT idea man, I'll give him that, but his ideas are best when they are actually executed by other people (as evidenced by "Empire Strikes Back", directed by Irvin Kershner and written by Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett from Lucas' ideas). If he was smart, after the complete travesty that was "The Phantom Menace", he would have admitted that he's VERY rusty and let someone else have the reins for the next two movies, while he fell into an Executive Producer role. That could have salvaged things.

As it stands now:

* Jar Jar Binks is the worst character ever made in any story ever.

* The love story between Anakin and Padme is fucking ludicrous ("you just slaughtered a bunch of women and children??? that's so hot! wanna fuck???")

* Anakin is a character for whom the audience has NO empathy whatsoever (and that was vital if we are to feel that his downfall is tragic in any way).

* Qui-Gon Jinn was a fucking useless character and it makes the whole "Yoda trained Obi-Wan" thing a bunch of bullshit.

* Darth Maul may have looked cool, but as a character, he sucked. And an old man (Count Dooku/Darth Tyrannus) showed him up, even if that old man IS Christopher Lee.

* I can accept that Artoo and Threepio don't remember any of the events in the prequels, as they can have memory wipes (though Artoo may remember since nobody can fucking understand him anyway and he's a devious little shit), but I CANNOT ACCEPT that nobody else remembers them. I've heard the whole "Droids are as commonplace as toasters and no one would remember them" argument before, but these two droids presided at Anakin and Padme's FUCKING WEDDING. I would THINK they might remember that. Oh, sure, Darth Vader may be having some huge internal monologue on Cloud City about how he remembers building that droid (a protocol droid for his mother?? why the fuck would he have made his mother a DIPLOMAT with dainty hands that can't even use tools??), but since the audience doesn't KNOW about it, it doesn't do us a lick of good. That little connection between characters is utterly pointless and serves no purpose except for giving fans a reason to give a knowing wink and nod when they see something they recognize on the screen.

* Midichlorians COMPLETELY remove the mysticism from the Force. I don't care if they were there the whole time or not, I didn't want to know about it. The old trilogy was science fantasy, the new ones are unmistakably science fiction.

* For all of Yoda's talk in TESB about how weapons were pretty much unnecessary if you were badass enough with the Force, he sure as hell throws all that out the window to give the audience a bunch of CGI eye candy. I would have been MUCH more satisfied if Yoda had just dropped the ceiling on Darth Tyrannus or something. It would have been more in-character.

* There is NO logical reason to include Chewbacca into ANY of the prequels. To do so is contrived bullshit. A cameo MIGHT be acceptable, but if he delivers Luke and Leia as Padme's midwife, that might just be the lamest thing EVER.

* Why exactly were the Seperatists in "Attack of the Clones" seperating in the first place? Why do I get the feeling we're never going to hear more about that little story?

* A four-year old child could see through Palpatine's clumsy, ham-fisted machinations. And yet the Jedi and ALL OF THE SENATE could not.

* Yoda and Mace Windu talk about how they have a really bad feeling about Anakin, Yoda says there is a great darkness surrounding him...then they both just sort of shrug and move on with whatever they were doing.

* Anakin was NOT a great warrior when Obi-Wan met him, as he said in "A New Hope".

* Whatever happened to all those alien races that seem to be quite prevalent in Episodes I and II? Even on Tattooine, we see a lot of new and different aliens that we never see again. On Tattooine. I realize that this is a problem when you create a series of movies out of order, but it makes suspending my disbelief awfully difficult. I can accept that SOMETHING horrible probably happens to Naboo in Episode 3, otherwise it's pretty insane that we never hear of it or the Gungans again.

* That "cutesy" scene in AOTC with Yoda and all the Jedi children makes me want to punch somebody.

* The Jedi, to put it plainly, suck. All they ever do is sit around on their little chairs and get their asses kicked by assembly line robots.

There's a LOT more I could go on about, and I'll probably add to this thread as I think of them. The point is, I DO enjoy the prequels on SOME basic level, they are good eye candy for the most part, but the story is weak, clumsy, sloppy, and it does NOT cleanly fit into the overall whole. I still enjoy the old movies, but these new ones are so riddled with flaws it is a lot more difficult to just sit back and enjoy them. ESPECIALLY when you try to take them into context with Episodes 4, 5, and 6.

[Zero Signal]

And Zero, have you been to http://www.stardestroyer.net ? I think you'd like it.
Interesting, indeed. They bring this up when talking about the ion cannons:

"Also of interest is the fact that the ship has already been hit by a powerful ion bolt that defeated the shields; but this second bolt is meeting resistance as well. This must indicate that ISDs have either isolated or redundant shield systems. Perhaps the conning tower has its own dedicated shield system?"

I thought this was made clear when one of the Executor's shield generators is destroyed during the battle at Endor, and one of the officers tells Admiral Piett that the bridge deflector shields are down.

:/

"Intensify the forward batteries. I don't want anything to get through."

"INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!!"

"Too late!"

:)

Ubergeekdom, indeed. heh

[Ninjavenom]

Here, here. :posh

I agree with all o' that except for Boba Fett being knocked out by a blind man with a stick. Never read about that. I don't think. It's not really bad ass that he had help escaping the Sarlaac, (which i misspelled terribly, several times) but the fact remains that he escaped in the first place. Who else in the galaxy is going to get out of a monster lined with razor sharp, downward pointing teeth? I wish now, though, that he had just been burned to death by that thing. And yeah, most of the books are shit, that's why i only read four or five of them. :/

[noob3]

Uhh, did you not even see ROTJ? Han spins around and he falls into the pit.

[Ninjavenom]

He didn't die there. Or are we talking just exclusively about the movies?

[Protoclown]

Yeah, Han was blind, and he had a stick. And he accidentally killed Boba Fett.

I'm talking about just the movies, because the books aren't canon. In fact, most of them are shite.

[AChimp]

Boba was great because we don't even get to know his name until the last movie. At least, I don't think that his actual name was mentioned in Empire, anyways. :/

Another one of his lines was, "He's no good to me if he's dead."

I thought this was made clear when one of the Executor's shield generators is destroyed during the battle at Endor, and one of the officers tells Admiral Piett that the bridge deflector shields are down.

"Intensify the forward batteries. I don't want anything to get through."

"INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!!"

"Too late!"

I'm confused by your comments, Zero. It was always my understanding that since the shields were down, they increased their firepower to have a greater chance of blowing up stuff before it got close to the ship. :/

Of course, it's late right now, and my brain isn't working properly. :(

[El Blanco]

On the whole "blind man with a stick"- IIRC, George Patton died rather uncerimoniously when a drunk driver plowed him. I certainly don't think that takes away from his "badass" image.

But, I do agree that Ep2 and ANHSE took away from his image (even if they can be explained away).

because the books aren't canon

They are official. They are cannon except when the movies contradict them (which has happened a lot in the last 2). The only ones that aren't referenced are the anthologies.

In fact, most of them are shite.

Doesn't mean they aren't official. Hell, your standards disqualifies the vast majority of Star Trek movies and tv from any arguments.

Yeah, it's really cool that Dengar helped him out after he escaped the Sarlaac.

In Tales of the Bounty Hunter (an anthology BTW), Fett gets himself out. Dengar showed up and got him medical attention to repay him for the mercy Fett showed him.


And then Boba Fett was the best man at Dengar's wedding. Yeah, that's just awesome.

OK, that was crap.

Oh, and then there's the fact that a naked Princess Leia was thrown into Boba Fett's quarters in Jabba's Palace, so Boba Fett, being a hardcore proponant of JUSTICE, covered her with a blanket and gave her his bunk, while he slept on the floor. What a great guy!

What does that have to do with justice? Chivalry ya, but we aren't talking about that. You wanted him to rape her? That would be a crime.

I love how the special edition of ROTJ pretty much negates all of that shit about Boba Fett being this really moralistic guy by having him macking on the scummy dancing chicks.

So, flirting with a girl at a bar makes you an immoral heathen? shit, guess I'm going to hell.

* The love story between Anakin and Padme is fucking ludicrous ("you just slaughtered a bunch of women and children??? that's so hot! wanna fuck???")


They had both been raised in emotionally crippling enviorments. How well adjusted do you think they should be?

* Darth Maul may have looked cool, but as a character, he sucked. And an old man (Count Dooku/Darth Tyrannus) showed him up, even if that old man IS Christopher Lee.


And a very powerful Jedi master, not an apprentice like Maul.

* For all of Yoda's talk in TESB about how weapons were pretty much unnecessary if you were badass enough with the Force, he sure as hell throws all that out the window to give the audience a bunch of CGI eye candy. I would have been MUCH more satisfied if Yoda had just dropped the ceiling on Darth Tyrannus or something. It would have been more in-character.


Unless, him and Dukoo were going at each other with force powers. That could have really taken Yoda's concentration.

Whatever happened to all those alien races that seem to be quite prevalent in Episodes I and II? Even on Tattooine, we see a lot of new and different aliens that we never see again. On Tattooine. I realize that this is a problem when you create a series of movies out of order, but it makes suspending my disbelief awfully difficult. I can accept that SOMETHING horrible probably happens to Naboo in Episode 3, otherwise it's pretty insane that we never hear of it or the Gungans again.


Palapatine was notoriuosly anti-nonhuman.

Shall I go on, or can I safely assume you are all bowing to my......


UBERGEEKDOM

[Zero Signal]

I thought this was made clear when one of the Executor's shield generators is destroyed during the battle at Endor, and one of the officers tells Admiral Piett that the bridge deflector shields are down.

"Intensify the forward batteries. I don't want anything to get through."

"INTENSIFY FORWARD FIREPOWER!!"

"Too late!"

I'm confused by your comments, Zero. It was always my understanding that since the shields were down, they increased their firepower to have a greater chance of blowing up stuff before it got close to the ship. :/

Of course, it's late right now, and my brain isn't working properly. :(
What are you confused about? I was just wondering why, in that quote I posted above from that site that Blanco linked to, they were posing the question regarding whether Star Destroyers have separate shielding for different sections. I stated that I thought it was made evident with the Executor when the two A-Wings take out one of the deflector towers and one of Piett's officers immediately tells him that the bridge deflector shield is down.

[El Blanco]

It's not like your point and his contradict each other. Aren't you reaching the same conclusion?

And you gotta love the tactical analysis and the hate mail sections.

[Bennett]

Proto, you rock...

I guess other than the contradictions and the outright suck-factor of the prequels (all the stuff you mentioned), the main thing is that they don't add anything to the story. It seems like Lucas is more interested in connecting the trilogies with tidbits like Anakin building 3PO and cameos, than actually focusing on a good story. And it seems like he's definitely created more inconsistencies.

It's like the special editions of the first trilogies. He said that he wanted to do all the things that he couldn't do due to technology at the time of the films' releases... but what did he add? Han shooting Greedo in self defense, a useless scene with Jabba where he says basically the same thing that Greedo did, and a couple of Jawas screaming "Utadie!" He's just full of shit.

[Protoclown]

On the whole "blind man with a stick"- IIRC, George Patton died rather uncerimoniously when a drunk driver plowed him. I certainly don't think that takes away from his "badass" image.

I see your point, but this is fiction we're talking about here, where everything happens by the author's design. I would expect a more satisfying end for a character who is supposed to be such a badass.

because the books aren't canon

They are official. They are cannon except when the movies contradict them (which has happened a lot in the last 2). The only ones that aren't referenced are the anthologies.

They may be "official", but George Lucas shows them no regard whatsoever with the way he contradicts the shit out of them in the movies. So how much weight should we really be giving them? Although, to be fair, Lucas has shown an equal amount of disregard as far as the contradictions with the old MOVIES goes, so hell, maybe we should give them the same weight as the films.

[In fact, most of them are shite.

Doesn't mean they aren't official. Hell, your standards disqualifies the vast majority of Star Trek movies and tv from any arguments.

I don't really see why you mention this. Yes, I agree, most of the Star Trek stuff sucks. But what does that have to do with ANYTHING?

Yeah, it's really cool that Dengar helped him out after he escaped the Sarlaac.

In Tales of the Bounty Hunter (an anthology BTW), Fett gets himself out. Dengar showed up and got him medical attention to repay him for the mercy Fett showed him.

Maybe I'm wrong here, but isn't that pretty much EXACTLY WHAT I SAID? That's the exact story I was referring to. (Also, that book sucked, not a single good story in the bunch...the IG-88 one was particularly laughable)

Oh, and then there's the fact that a naked Princess Leia was thrown into Boba Fett's quarters in Jabba's Palace, so Boba Fett, being a hardcore proponant of JUSTICE, covered her with a blanket and gave her his bunk, while he slept on the floor. What a great guy!

What does that have to do with justice? Chivalry ya, but we aren't talking about that. You wanted him to rape her? That would be a crime.

Yeah, and it would have been more realistic. I can't swallow all that "I love justice" bullshit. He certainly doesn't act that way in the movies, even if you look at the original trilogy. Working for the most evil son of a bitch in the galaxy, fraternizing with KNOWN criminals, gangsters even. Boba Fett is scum, not some heroic lawman.

I love how the special edition of ROTJ pretty much negates all of that shit about Boba Fett being this really moralistic guy by having him macking on the scummy dancing chicks.

So, flirting with a girl at a bar makes you an immoral heathen? shit, guess I'm going to hell.

No, but it certainly reinforces the scummy persona that was already there. The books tried to paint him as this noble lawman whose ONLY concern was his obsession with justice. I got the impression that he felt he was above "cheap sex" in the books. The ROTJ:SE portrays him as a guy who likes to party with CRIMINALS and PIRATES and get himself some pussy on his time off.

* The love story between Anakin and Padme is fucking ludicrous ("you just slaughtered a bunch of women and children??? that's so hot! wanna fuck???")


They had both been raised in emotionally crippling enviorments. How well adjusted do you think they should be?

Please. It's still absolutely ludicrous. "No, Annie, we can't be together, it just won't work. No! Absolutely not! I'm serious! We can't even be seen together! What's that? You killed a bunch of women and children? Well, maybe we can get together after all. "

* Darth Maul may have looked cool, but as a character, he sucked. And an old man (Count Dooku/Darth Tyrannus) showed him up, even if that old man IS Christopher Lee.


And a very powerful Jedi master, not an apprentice like Maul.

They both have the same title, "Darth", which I believe denotes their rank. Maul may have been relatively inexperienced, but I believe he was still a master. In the same sense that while Darth Vader was a master, he was still Palpatine's apprentice simply by virtue of his being Palpy's bitch.

Whatever happened to all those alien races that seem to be quite prevalent in Episodes I and II? Even on Tattooine, we see a lot of new and different aliens that we never see again. On Tattooine. I realize that this is a problem when you create a series of movies out of order, but it makes suspending my disbelief awfully difficult. I can accept that SOMETHING horrible probably happens to Naboo in Episode 3, otherwise it's pretty insane that we never hear of it or the Gungans again.


Palapatine was notoriuosly anti-nonhuman.

Riiiight, so he magically exterminated entire SPECIES of aliens who were widely spread throughout the galaxy? Wow, talk about thorough.

[AChimp]

What are you confused about? I was just wondering why, in that quote I posted above from that site that Blanco linked to, they were posing the question regarding whether Star Destroyers have separate shielding for different sections. I stated that I thought it was made evident with the Executor when the two A-Wings take out one of the deflector towers and one of Piett's officers immediately tells him that the bridge deflector shield is down.
I told you my brain wasn't working properly. :(

[El Blanco]

Riiiight, so he magically exterminated entire SPECIES of aliens who were widely spread throughout the galaxy? Wow, talk about thorough.


Just exactly how many planets and charecters were seen in the original trilogy? Not many when you think about it.

[Protoclown]

So all the aliens we see all over the place in Tattooine in Episodes I and II either left altogether or were completely wiped out?

I realize it's possible that there just weren't any dugs in the cantina that fateful day when Obi-Wan and Luke showed up, but still...it's just one of those things that makes it a little harder to swallow.

[El Blanco]

So, there wasn't a rich variety of aliens in the cantina or Jabba's palace? Are we talking about the same Star Wars?

[Zomboid]

What annoyed me about the yoda thing is that he always seemed like he was the wisest fucker in the world and didn't NEED to fight. In episode 2 he's jumping around like a ball of cgi shit. You could argue that it was years earlier and eventually he becomes more powerful force-wise, but he seemed too different to me.

[ziggytrix]

The only way a user of the light sight of the force can attack someone is with a lightsaber. Vis-a-vis, honorable combat.

As I recall, Yoda was basically invulnerable to Dooku's force-based attacks. It was only after those, that Dooku got out his lightsaber, and Yoda's response might as well be, "Well if that's the way it's gotta be..."

[Protoclown]

So, there wasn't a rich variety of aliens in the cantina or Jabba's palace? Are we talking about the same Star Wars?

I think you missed what I was saying entirely.

[CaptainBubba]

George lucas probably cried after he found out no one like the first movie and that makes it all better for me.

Someday when I have spawn, I will show my offspring the original 3 episodes and when they ask me, as I asked my father once, "Why are they episodes 4 though 6 and not 1 through 3?", I will tell them that there are three episodes created in my time, which ruin the movies. Having just seen the original three they will know the greatness of them, and empathize with me for my loss in having them ruined for me.

I will henceforth from that day never allow episodes 1 through 3 in my home and encourage them to never view them.

Episodes 1 and 2 are that bad, and I'm not expecting anything from episode 3 excpet suckitude and some cameo suckitude. :(

[El Blanco]

I think you missed what I was saying entirely.


The way I understand your point is that you feel that there is no way to explain the lack of creatures we see from Eps 1&2 in the OT.

If thats not it, please clarify.

[CastroMotorOil]

On the species comment, There would be less nonhuman species openly walking about the streets on a tatooine city as the empire ahted them, and tatooine is an imperial world. They do show up in the cantina and in jabba's palace, known lawless areas. wher ethe imperials turn a blind eye really. And for the original triology in general, it takes place over a much smaller number of planets, tatooine, yavin 4, hoth, dagobah, moon of endor, you see dantooine before it goes bye bye, and that is about it. On on its a rebel base before the rebels had wide support meaning it was mostly human. Endor we see the damn ewoks. Tatooine has aliens, hoth has alien animals, not many nonhumans in the rebel alliance yet though. The first triology it muc hmore specific a story the nthe second, the second is much braoder, showing the galactic events that cause episodes 4-6. At least on this topic the difference between triologies can be explained. On the droids comment, i jsut was to kill georgie boy for taking crack while writing these new movies.

[El Blanco]

you see dantooine before it goes bye bye, and that is about it.

Actually, it was Alderaan we see blown up. Dantooine was the system Leia gave Tarkin when he asked for the rebel base. It was their previous HQ. They mention it later after Alderaan went boom to say how it was abandoned.

Once again.....all of you....bow to it

[Poxpower]

Who gives a crap about alien diversity on Tatoine? I didn't actually see if I could match them the PM ones with the ANH ones in the Cantina...
Anyways, I believe that the old movies worked waaaaay better because they have that kinda "oldie" feeling to them, but yet manage to have really good special effects and costumes and caracters and... puppets! Anyone remembers how people were mad that Jabba was a huge lump of CGI in the special edition of ANH instead of that fantastic puppet?

Anyways, I think that the movies and the books should be taken separately, because no one cares about the books anyways.. I have read like 10 of them a few years back, and remember almost nothing.

Boba Fett...Yeah, I though they ruined it in RTJ when Han "killed" him, but that still didn't take away from his badassness TOO MUCH. He was so badass because he just never did anything, he was very calm, always in place, so he had that kinda mysterious "don't even think about messing with me" feel to him, and plus, HE caought han while the whole damn Imperial fleet was too icompetent to do so.
But why he was in episode2??? Who the HELL knows. Totally unjustified cameo crap. I don't want to know that 20 000 Boba Fett clones exist, that takes away almost everything from the caracter :( I didn't mind the small Fett though, just out of place.

Yoda looks too real now. It's creepy because you know he's not a puppet, not made out of matter anymore. I like the old SW because everything had that feel to it, that materialistic feel... Cause you knew they built the Ships and all.

Darth Maul was a waste. Qui Gon also, and his existence alone fucked the whole trilogy. No comments on the Gungans, everyone hates them, and they didn't even give jobs to 100s of midgets like the ewoks did.

Padme + Anakin = WTF. Never seen a more predictable and cornier scenario. Anakin was a terrible actor anyways.

C3PO built by Darth Vader??? R2D2, helper of the old republic??? BattleDroids BEFORE Stormtroopers? It's going to take more than a "you'll find they are immesly superior to droids" to convince me! I mean, come on, JEDI MASTERS RUN FROM THE DESTROYER DROIDS! How could they possibly be less good than Stortroopers who even Leia can shoot dozens of.


Well, no point ranting of hopid E3 will be better, you know it will suck, just hope that this Chewie thing is another runor to screw with the fans while they wait. Or else, I will undergoe a lobotomy to erase all memory of the prequels from my mind.

[Skulhedface]

Well, I'll bitch and moan about it, as will we all, but there's no denying that our asses will be in those seats when it sees theatrical release.

I can't help it. While not being THE uber-geek, I am amongst the uber-geeks.

So I'll be there. At best, I'll have only wasted two and a half hours and seven bucks.

[Protoclown]

Boba Fett...Yeah, I though they ruined it in RTJ when Han "killed" him, but that still didn't take away from his badassness TOO MUCH. He was so badass because he just never did anything, he was very calm, always in place, so he had that kinda mysterious "don't even think about messing with me" feel to him, and plus, HE caought han while the whole damn Imperial fleet was too icompetent to do so.

No, he didn't. He just FOUND Han. Then, like an incompetent child, he called the Empire and Big Daddy Vader to come and take care of him. Then he stood there smugly in front of a PLATOON of stormtroopers and was just like "Nyah! I caught yas, see?"

He didn't do ANYTHING on his own except trail Han. Sorry if that doesn't strike me as terribly "badass".

[El Blanco]

While not being THE uber-geek, I am amongst the uber-geeks.


Thats right. Bow to your god.

He just FOUND Han.

No, he knew what Han was going to do. He just had to wait until the Millenium Falcon made its move.

Then, like an incompetent child, he called the Empire and Big Daddy Vader to come and take care of him.

Or, maybe he called Vader to collect the bounty and pay him.

Besides, thats using a resource he had available. You don't last long in his profession playing Rambo all the time.

Sun Tzu would have been very proud.

[Protoclown]

Yeah, and he simply tracked Han and then called the Empire so they could catch him. Which is exactly what I said before.

Which may make him good at surviving his job, but it's pretty damn far from "badass".

[El Blanco]

Its pretty much what a Green Beret is trained to do in his spot.

You've got some weird ideas about badass.

[Krythor]

"You don't last long in his profession playing Rambo all the time."

Cute.

Jango Fett slightly ruined the mystery of Boba Fett, but who really cared that much anyway? He had such a small role that any other random bounty hunter could've filled anyway, and he accomplished A) Finding Han Solo and B) Being an extra in a battle scene 30 minutes into ROTJ. Great. Jango Fett's inclusion gave us the, in my opinion, best action scene of the two new movies. Possibly one of the only scenes worth watching the new movies for.

If I mentioned everything I found bad about the new movies, I would just be reiterating everything that's been said a dozen times before. All I'll say is, the one thing that's infuriated me more than anything else, more than Jar Jar, more than the pathetic battle droids and the annoying droning noises they make, more than the dull acting and corny script... Phantom Menace's plot. Great, taxes are raised and a couple of guys are stuck trying to get parts for their ship. GO TEAM JEDI, I REALLY FUCKING CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO THESE HEROES. I mean seriously... the first movie was about the bad guys trying to blow planets up, the second was about revenge (Or "Striking Back," if you prefer,) the third, even more attempts at making random planets explode. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that seems like a winning formula to me.

I'm not asking for an exact copy of the original trilogy, but perhaps if the gist of what was going on in Episode II was spliced with some features of Episode I to create an almost decent beginning to the new trilogy, and the presumably darker and, also presumably, more entertaining section of the new trilogy was split into the final two episodes, I might give a shit what happens.

[El Blanco]

I didn't mind Jar-Jar that much. I thought 3PO was always way more annoying. And I just don't get all the cries of racism.

Anyway, the plot to Ep 1 wasn't actually that bad if they highlighted Palpatine a little more. Then you would get all the underhanded work going on and the tax issue would actually make a lot of sense. I just wish they hadn't used so much CGI to do everything. But, Lucas is the grandaddy of CGI, so I will let it slide.

Ep2? I had no intention of following a plot. Its not like the OT was Shakespeare. I was just stoked to see that last 30 minutes and natalie portman in that tight leather corsette (Lucas designed it himself, pure genius) and the white leia type outfit with the ripped mid-riff.


Damn, be back in a few minutes. I got....uh...something...to do.

[Poxpower]

He didn't do ANYTHING on his own except trail Han. Sorry if that doesn't strike me as terribly "badass".[/quote]

Fine, then he's a smartass. Besides, it was him vs the whole cloud city, and he wasn't supposed to kill them, so what could he have done. Wait, don't answer that..

[Protoclown]

Boba Fett's a limp wristed ninny. Just face it already.

[Ninjavenom]

ZUCKUSS. ZUCKUSS. ZUCKUSSSSSSSS!
http://hjem.get2net.dk/babyfett/4lom/zuckuss.gif

[Skulhedface]

IG-88 DAMMIT!

He might've been a puss, but if you read the books, he WAS the Death Star.

So there.

*takes Uber-Nerd crown*

[Protoclown]

Yes, but that is the single worst Star Wars story ever written. Kevin J. Anderson is a horrible writer :(

[El Blanco]

Someone clearly hasn't red the Black Fleet Trilogy.

Or The Crystal Star.

Or most of the New Jedi Order books.

*takes back crown and beheads usurper*

[Skulhedface]

New Jedi Order pfft.

Timothy Zahn is the only competent Star Wars writer I know of.

[El Blanco]

He is taking it back over now. He is writing all the post NJO books for a while.

And is it just me, or is this whole "bio-technology" concept that has dominated sci-fi the last few years retarded?

[CastroMotorOil]

I'm just starting the NJO books, they seem pretty cool, and yes im sick of the biotech concept. I think it is Starcraft's fault. Damn Zerg. I so just wish they ressurect the Emperor again, and he wipes the Vong out in like 2 days. GO DARK SIDE.

Anderson wrote the Jedi Acedemy triology right? that was a damn good one.

And i liked the Boba Fett stories but IG-88 was retarded. But who okicked his ass? Boba.

[El Blanco]

He kicked his ass and blew him up like 4 times.

[Protoclown]

KEVIN J ANDERSON SUCKS :lol

[Skulhedface]

Well of course maybe I'm biased about it.

I read the entire Thrawn trilogy and was blown away, then I read one of Barbara Hambly's books and was disappointed. THEN I got a hold of a Kevin Anderson book and just said "Fuck it. I'll stick with canon for now."

And that is no small feat, what with Lucas himself fucking the trilogy up.

Maybe he should let the guy who directed ESB (his name slips my mind right now) direct the third prequel.

[Poxpower]

The guy who directed ESB is Irvin Kershner ( meh close enough).

Boba ain't a ninny to me. He may not do much in the movies, but he does more than those other bounty hunters... Aw, screw this.

Lobo! Lobo! Lobo!

[FS]

First off, this thread made me LOL because I agree with much of it.

Second, I think "Darth" is to Sith as "Master" is to Jedi.

Third, anyone who liked Darth Maul's death scene really needs to rewind that scene and check out Maul's spectacularly plastic puppet face/empty sleeves with gloves sewed onto them after his upper torso makes its first spin. It's absolutely baffling.

Lastly, I can't say much more than I already did in my review and am only left to wonder how Episode 3's suckage will compare to Episodes 1 and 2. But I take comfort in the fact that people here will be ready to exchange the most awful moments of the movie in a way that makes me laugh again.

George Lucas, you incompetent fuck.

[Perndog]

I think people bitch too much about Star Wars and how the prequels don't live up to the original trilogy. So maybe George Lucas is fucking up a story that has great potential. Deal with it. There are thousands upon thousands of other stories that have been written or will be written that will be just as epic, just as fantastic as Star Wars, and movies will be made for some of them, and some of those movies will be as good as they're supposed to be. What's the point in moaning endlessly about one series? If Episodes 1 and 2 bother you, just keep watching 4-6 and be satisfied with that. Is everyone such a narrow-sighted fanboy that they just can't let go, as if Star Wars is some sacred golden calf? Go watch Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings, or read some books. You want sci-fi? Watch ESB again and wait for the next big series.

[Bennett]

Yeah everybody, just because something you love is conceivably ruined, why bitch about it? More movies are going to come out, so we can just wait for them!!!

That is about the stupidest logic I've ever seen. Sure, it would be great, and I'd be completely satisfied if I could go back and watch the original trilogy. Unfortunately, I probably won't be able to do so, unless I get the bootleg DVD. Because as it stands, Lucas plans on going back and ruining them as well, if he ever re-releases them. Will it be okay if I wait and bitch about it then.

oh, and die.

[Zomboid]

No shit. I don't get how some people don't understand the need to bitch.

[ItalianStereotype]

hell, some of us actually liked Episodes 1 and 2.

[Command Prompt]

I just bought Knights of the Old Republic for my X-Box and its way more interesting than this thread.

[Protoclown]

And yet...here you are.

[Command Prompt]

Fine I got killed by a Sith Jedi and now I am stuck. You got me >:

[Rongi]

I have that game too :(. I'm on the sewer part. I got it like, 2 days ago.

[Bennett]

Just finished it an hour ago. It was much better than episodes I and II. I'll go back now and do everything darkside.

[Command Prompt]

As if you even did the light side first you little goodie two shoes

Its time you learn the ultimate rule of Bioware RPGs - EVIL ROCKS OVER ALL ELSE

[the_dudefather]

i am not a big star-wars fan, but here is what i see:

-when lucas had an appertunity to expand on the SW universe by making prequels, what does he do? create a new exciting story? no, he insists on looping everything from the old trilogy the new trilogy for the sake of the fans (whom he seems to annoy the most). Chewie in EP3 will suck, a cameo would have been cool, but full character involment like this is lame.

-cheesy jokes in ep2, at one point: "your going to be the death of me". how i chuckled

-luke in ep2. holy shit, when watching ep1 i said to myself "the mother is going to be killed and luke is going to go evil". wafer thin surprize.

-stormtroopers, super efficient clone death troops in the new trilogy, idiots in the old trilogy. EG: serching for r2 and cp30, the knock on a door, wait a scant second and move on.

-complecating the plot, when you look at the old trilogy there is a simple and effective plot, but since then books and other spinoff have created backgrounds and links between characters who made a 2 second apperence in the background of a movie. therefore the new movies have to compensate for all this by linking characters and creating wierd plots involving politics and scientific theories and shit

anyways, i like the starwars movies, but lucas has gone mad with power since the 70s.

BTW: i apoligise for any inaccurices or whatever hardcore Starwars fans would disagree with