BUMP! The most incredible thing I ever saw

[pjalne]

A friend just sent me a clip from a Chinese fantasy porn movie. It contained a big Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-like fight where two warriors (one man, one woman) were fighting not with swords, but with sex, using such techniques as 'invincible mouth', 'light touch' and 'the so call invincible wheel', where the guy lies on top of the woman and spins around like a fucking carousel. When the guy thrusts his penis into the woman, it makes a sound similar to the laser beams in Star Wars, and he is able to rape her while jumping two hundred feet through the woods. It all ends when the warrior performs the 'wonder screw', where he literally fucks her into the ground, burrows through the earth like a fucking mole, and surfaces only to ejaculate four gallons of semen while crying 'Ejaculation!'. This fires his opponent into the sky Team Rocket style, and the semen hits some trees that burst into sparks and flames.

It was pretty hardcore.

[FS]

I'm going to assume this is a cartoon, and if not, I have to see it.

[O71394658]

Sounds like a day at the mall... :/

[pjalne]

It was live-action, and it actually seemed to have pretty decent production values. I'm working on a way to distribute it withouth exceeding my domain's space constraints and this board's guidelines.

[Anonymous]

i've seen part of it

[KILLADEUCE]

Kinda reminds me of a scene i watched in "La blue girl" or whatever... Pretty wild shit.. I don't think anyone can do outrageous wack pr0n fantasies like the Japenese ;)

[pjalne]

You wouldn't happen to know what it's called? I've only got this one clip, so I haven't got much to work with.

[AChimp]

That movie was on Stile Project years ago. I remember it well! ;)

I forget what it was called, though.

[mburbank]

"Seabiscuit"

[AChimp]

:lol

[pjalne]

:/

Well, I managed to upload it. Since I'm not sure if the board allows linking to porn, I guess people who are interested can pm me for a link (EDIT: Not anymore, you can't). I'll probably pull the file down in 24 hours. Or 48. Or 31, just FER TEH CRAZYNESS

[Mockery]

Max, that was too damned funny. I think it's just cuz the title Sea Biscuit amuses me to no end, but still... :lol

And Pjalne, that sounds like a pretty amusing movie, even if it is porn. At least it's crazy asian porn and not stupid american drunken girls gone wild porn.

[pjalne]

EDIT: Lost and gone forever

[mburbank]

A thousand years from now, "Girls Gone Wild" will be concidered America's only valid contribution to world culture.

[AChimp]

If you're worried about consequences :rolleyes, put the link in the Porn thread in General Blabber.

[pjalne]

That's comforting coming from AChimp, Master of Not Having His Posts Fucking Deleted.

I hadn't seen that thread before, and if skat links aren't picked up by the radar, this shouldn't either:

EDIT: Linkie gonie

[AChimp]

My posts aren't really being deleted. Mock just prints 'em out and wallpapers his bathroom with them.

Because I tittilate.

[Poxpower]

You know when people say "you can't make this stuff up" when someone does something incredibely clumsy and funny?
I guess you can make that kind of stuff up.

That sounds like the sweetest thing ever. If you have a tape of it, I'd gladly sent you like 5$ for a copy of it. Or just find a way to put it on the net in episodes or something.

Seabiscuit hahaha

[Comrade Rocket]

If you can give us the name i'm sure we can find it online, or using a file sharing program.

Asian porn is the best porn. the girls moans perce the ears

[FS]

Now that I have seen it I have this to say: if American/European porn was even half as spectacular as this, my porn collection would be substantially larger.

Also, the next girl I have sex with is going to find out the power of the invincible wheel.

[pjalne]

Hell yeah! The entire Kama Sutra hasn't got shit on the invincible wheel.

I asked the guys over at the old XE forums, and some guy knew the title: A Chinese Torture Chamber Story. I just ordered it, but I had to order from American Amazon, which means it won't be here in a month :/

Best part? It's not even a porn movie.

[pjalne]

Well, I found a copy, and I think this justifies a plug.

http://www.encyclopedia-obscura.com/moviestorture.html

http://www.encyclopedia-obscura.com/gphcs/moviestorturewheel.gif

It was a pretty unique movie.

[Zhukov]

I've seen that particular part. Although it was part of another porn film, about making porn films.

The director was watching the spinning porn to get inspiration to make his porno.

[Cap'n Crunch]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/361255/moviestortureick.jpg

:lol :(