Commercials that piss you off.

[Zbu Manowar]

My current hated commercial is that one with the silver car that either has the car driving through a playground suburbia or a prom downtown area with 'Forever Young' or some other sappy romantic past song playing while the car drives out of the town. You know, with the 'Leaving High School/Childhood' signs?

Does this just bug the piss out of everyone? The way it shamelessly ties their product to some pathetic needling for all of us to relieve some romanticized version of our past? Do we really need some shitty sedan to feel like children again??

AAAAAHHHH!!

Well, anybody else got one?

[James]

One I hate is for Optimum Online (cabe service in the tri-state area). This lady says "You hear the internet called the information highway. Now it's the information SUPERHIGHWAY!"

No, you dumb fucking bitch. It was ALWAYS called the information superhighway. >:

[Daphne]

that fucking car commercial with the barenaked ladies song in it.

[unclehobart]

I despise the one where the large black momma always embarrasses a family member while in earshot of 50 people. "Soooo, sweetie. Hows that laxitive working?'

[whoreable]

I hate the ones were people give a lexus with a giant bow on it. FUCK THAT. >:
________
NEXIUM LAWSUIT SETTLEMENTS (http://www.classactionsettlements.org/lawsuit/nexium/)

[Zbu Manowar]

Another one: that stupid Coca-Cola Girl who imitated all the voices. What I wouldn't give to have a Hell's Angel beat the hell out of her with a length of copper tubing.

[timrpgland]

I hate the Geico commercials and all those Aflak commercials.

[Zbu Manowar]

Aflak I hate more. The gecko is being overused, but it isn't as annoying as that damn duck.

[Protoclown]

Let's see...commercials I hate the most...oh, I know now!

ALL OF THEM.

[Daphne]

I don't know, I like the IKEA commercials with the lamp and the creamer. I think Spike Jonze did them.

[Anonymous]

I liked the Altoids one with the exploding hamster.

[Generator86]

I know that this isn't really considered a "real" commercial, but that fucking Kangaroo Jack bullshit still sends me into coniptions every time I see it.

On the flipside, any commercial starring a monkey is automatically one of the best ever.

[Bennett]

I agree with Daphne on the bare naked ladies one...

also, there is this commercial that plays when I visit my family around detroit for this hangover medicine called, "chaser"
It starts off with a couple getting ready for work in the morning, and the guy goes, "why are you so happy this morning, you drank more than I did." to which she replies, "because i took chaser."

I would've laid the serious smack down right on her un-hungover head if I was that guy, "thanks for telling me about chaser last night, instead of this morning you smug little bee-eye-itch."

[Ninjavenom]

Th ESPN ones with the guy in the cold, the one Kangaroo Jack one, the Lose a Guy in 10 Days one, and that FUCKING hamster blockbuster one.

[Zbu Manowar]

Is it just me or is Kate Hudson progressively getting uglier with each movie she makes? In that new piece of crap, her eyebrows look like they were stolen off of a Chinese corpse and glued to her face.

[Anonymous]

I love a lot of commercials actually - i love that nike commercial where everyone is running in a pack...
but my favorite are cotton commercials. Those are seriously fucking brilliant.


But I HATE those new Baileys commericals, and the Sam adams light commercial where the chick pokes her eye with her makeup (I wish that was real) and yeah I hate those commercials with the cars with the giant bows on them. I also hate diamond commercials (not the old de beers ones though, those were good). Oh and I hate that new commercial... I think it might be for jeans or something stupid, adn there isa guy and a girl and there are buffalos running at them.

[timrpgland]

I liked that Terry Tate commercial

[Zbu Manowar]

Nothing says 'overpriced faded jeans' like buffalo.

[Bennett]

The "zoom-zoom" commercials, and any commercial that has a baby doing something that it shouldn't be.

One of my great joys is watching local commercials (wherever I may be at the time) with second rate computer animation. for some reason they always crack me up.

[Daphne]

Is it just me or is Kate Hudson progressively getting uglier with each movie she makes? In that new piece of crap, her eyebrows look like they were stolen off of a Chinese corpse and glued to her face.

:lol fucking funny.

[Stabby]

There are very few 'good' commercials.
But one commercial that really annoys me lately is the Verizon one with the guy and girl at the end of their date. Phrases like "hit up your whole crew", "don't trip!", and "text me later" make me want to funnel flamming rubbing alcohol into my ears.

[GnrySgtHartman]

Any commercial that makes you think you help terrorists, the worst one being about the minivan (or another car im not sure), That if you buy or drive one, you help support terrorists. They capitolized on this idea from 9/11 and has made me pissed ever since.

[Zomboid]

The fucking commercial with the dumb bitch "dancing" in a car and the one with that fucking annoying barenaked ladies song are my two most annoying.

Also, that jeans commercial where those two people have buffalo run by made me seriously consider suicide. I give up on humanity on a daily basis :(

[James]

Can you hear me now?

Gooood.

[Rongi]

I detest any commercial that advertises the following

cell phones
taco bell "food"
any kind of clothing
any thing that cooks stuff
any kind of religious gospel cd
any phone serivice commercial (Carrot Top)

the list goes on and on

[AChimp]

Can you hear me now? Fuck. >:

[Zbu Manowar]

Okay, here's one: any commercial that now equates marijuana use to snort cocaine and raping the elderly. Not to defend a drug, but marijuana is right up there with alcohol with its effects. Fuck, it's quite obvious this is a bit of propragada thanks to the Pres. Of course, you won't see his drug of choice--alcohol--portrayed this way, heaven forbid. ;)

[CrapOnAStick]

Also, that jeans commercial where those two people have buffalo run by made me seriously consider suicide. I give up on humanity on a daily basis :(

Don't remind me. >:

[sadie]

"hey. what's up?"
"nothing much. just having a pick before class."
"yah. i could use a pick myself."

>: >: >:

[JeefGyle]

I hate religious gospel CD commercials too, and they are always like 10 fucking minutes long >:

I liked the old commercial for that Yanni CD. :)

[Zbu Manowar]

Christian Rock is an oxymoron. I don't know if I can take a 'group' seriously if their fanbase is nothing more than a bunch of people who look like they came directly from work, hold their hands up, and look like they're to ignore the nastiest fart to ever escape a Sumo Wrestler's ass.

I notice that one of the 'bands' is called Delirious. How apt.

[Zbu Manowar]

Okay, another one: The Dr. Scholls 'Gellin' one where a bunch of idiots make up rhymes and shit to sell some arch supports.

God. "That's my foot you're smellin cause I'm sooooo GELLIN."

[punkgrrrlie10]

I don't really watch tv so I can't think of any offhand, but I saw a billboard that pissed me off.

It was rosie the riveter with the caption "we can buy it"

:explode

[Malevolent]

I'm going to have to go ahead and agree wholeheartedly with Daphne. I absolutely hate the Mitsubishi Lancer commercial with the suck-ass Barenaked Ladies. I also hate the Mitsubishi Eclipse commercial with that crappy 'Without You' song and the girl in the front seat dancing like a reject.

[Zbu Manowar]

She was dancing? I thought she was having a seizure and the company was trying to get the elusive Newgrounds.com consumer.

[Zomboid]

She was dancing? I thought she was having a seizure and the company was trying to get the elusive Newgrounds.com consumer.

What's even better is the moron in the back trying to "funk out" too.

[Zbu Manowar]

I didn't notice...which is probably for the best knowing how they portray men dancing as a cross between a man fending off a beehive that just fell into his pants or the liquid heat scene from 'Revenge of the Nerds.'

[Zbu Manowar]

Okay, now here's a big one: "Kids Bopz" commercials in which parents are given an easy alternative to today's pop music that is just full of sex! Now, instead of having overtanned underweight divas do it, you can listen to kids sing today's hits!

And the true hilarity is listening to these idiotic kids sing. Now I know what Muzak in hell sounds like: a bunch of kids singing Sugar Ray's "I Just Wanna Fly." Now that's comedy.

[Zbu Manowar]

Okay, anybody seen the one where this eight year old kid starts talking about how if he wets himself at a slumber party he'd be 'afraid?' And how wearing underroos-sized pull up pants will solve this?

Tell me I didn't just imagine this.

[AChimp]

I hate all that shit that overly protective parents "need" to keep their children from seeing anything questionable. >:

You can be damn sure my kids will be listening to Eminem in their crib. >:

[Zbu Manowar]

Don't shoot yourself in the foot, man. If anything, make your children watch questionable stuff that rocks like anything by Peter Jackson pre-LOTR, Friday the 13th to Number 6, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and GWAR.

If you're going to scare your children, you might as well do it with something you like and that rocks. Fuck scaring them for spite's sake.

[Daphne]

Okay, anybody seen the one where this eight year old kid starts talking about how if he wets himself at a slumber party he'd be 'afraid?' And how wearing underroos-sized pull up pants will solve this?

Tell me I didn't just imagine this.

You didn't, it's terrible.

My god, can you imagine being the poor kid who did this add? He's going to be wetting himself for the next 20 years of his life, what with the amount of kicks to the sack he'll be getting from his school bullies!

[Zbu Manowar]

That's what I thought. He's doomed himself in anything he does because of that damn commercial!! How can he even date without having the girl wonder about his leaky bladder? ;)

[Zomboid]

OH SHIT! You mean that one where the kid says something like "and now my brothers just say I'm a normal kid now"? When he smiles near the end I always get the feeling he just pissed himself and is smiling cause he's retarded or something.

[Zbu Manowar]

Yup. The kid with the black background behind him and spouting dialogue that's just too PC for a kid to speak it.

And here's another that's a strictly Detroit one for this law firm: at this junkass convenience store, a kid asks for a candy bar. The mom grabs this kid and screams "I CAN'T, WE DON'T HAVE THE KIND OF MONEY!!" Then she goes up to the cashier and says in a perfect calm voice: "I'd like $100 worth of Easy Picks Lotto Tickets, please."

This apparently is a commercial for gambling addiction. But it comes off as the woman is a completely abusive retard who honestly thinks $100 worth of Lotto tickets--not the scratch off but the actual ones--is going to make her hit it big. This isn't gambling addiction, this woman is bone stupid!!

AHHHHHH!! Oh, my head hurts now.

[CastroMotorOil]

Zbu, i hate the commercials around here too, they are all sooooooo bad. I don't know if D.O.C. is a national eyeglass chain but I HATE those commercials with richard goldblum or whatever the fuck his name is dancing around in his "Sexy Specs" I have glasses and they are not fuckign sexy so stop pretending they are GODDAMMIT.

[drumaster]

anti-marijuana ones blow fat knobs

[Zbu Manowar]

Zbu, i hate the commercials around here too, they are all sooooooo bad. I don't know if D.O.C. is a national eyeglass chain but I HATE those commercials with richard goldblum or whatever the fuck his name is dancing around in his "Sexy Specs" I have glasses and they are not fuckign sexy so stop pretending they are GODDAMMIT.

No, I witnessed them. And it's damn sad becaue I remember when that Richard guy had dignity. You know how priceless dignity is? It's worth not dancing like an idiot just to hock stupid glasses and pretend your ten years younger than you are.

I tell you, I hope that guy broke his ass or had it kicked by somebody who knew how to dance. Nothing like sad white folks trying to jive solely to sell shitty frames.

[Les Waste]

The local commercials in my area are the worst fucking things ever >:

Except for ads for 1-800-Collect and cell phone services >:

This thread has done nothing but make me mad. Which has cut 2 years from my life. Thanks for reminding me of all the horrible, horrible commercials I hate, jack asses >:

[Zbu Manowar]

I've forced you to read this? Cool. Now, obey my will...obey my will....

YOUR CLOTHES ARE RED NOW!!

[MrAdventure]

DOMINO'S DOTS ARE COMING!

WWOOAAHH!

Then the latest Subway commercials, more specifically that one with the two fucking blondes.

--"Subway club with hot peppers"
--"Because we like it hot."
--...."Just give me what they're having."

"I'M SORRY SIR JARED'S PENIS IS NOT A VALID MENU CHOICE" :rolleyes

[CastroMotorOil]

I HATE JARED :die

[Ninjavenom]

Good calls, adventure.

[Lord Darian]

:bestthread

[Bennett]

The subway commercials with the new guy are far worse than the Jared ones... I'm thinking of the one where he tells the guy at the drive thru: "Menu, it's not even on your radar screen." The Clay Henry one is pretty bad too.

I was always hoping that Jared would get stomach cancer from eating all that subway.

[Zbu Manowar]

I was always hoping that Jared would get stomach cancer from eating all that subway.

Nah, he deserves constant but violent diarrhea. Try imagining him trying to peddle Subway's crap when he suddenly blows the back of his oversized khaki and splatters the wallpaper with his green fecal matter.

That's revenge enough.

[Ninjavenom]

That fucking McDonalds salad commercial. Ugh. Actually, just about ALL mcDonalds commercials piss me off, like the one where the woman is all excited that she's getting some sort of shitty product for free.

[Zbu Manowar]

That reminds me of the most unintentionally funny McD commercial I ever saw where they tried to make all their employees are champions and such or geniuses, basically trying to convey that most successful people start off slinging burgers and fucking up their skin thanks to corrosive grease.

Then, at the end, a group of children come in and on the screen it says 'Future McDonalds Employees.' :lol I mean, come on, the American Educational System isn't THAT bad, is it?

[Zomboid]

I just saw a new subway commercial that has that annoying guy on a bus talking to some other guy on a bus about the new subway subs which makes everyone on the bus get off at the next stop to experience the greatness >:

I still hate the one with "cause we like it hot" the most, but this is right up there with it.

Btw- Zbu, did you post at the old boards? :/

[Geggy]

I rarely watch any tv but I do remember the advertisement for the Dodge Neon. The phrase "Hi." became the car's trademark quote. My ex drove the Neon at the time and everytime i rode in her car, people would say Hi to the car and not to us. It was pretty fucking annoying. That's what I get for going to college in the friendliest town in America, ROCHESTER, FUCKING NEW YORK.

[Skulhedface]

The BIGGEST insult of all, as if MTV didn't make him reek of "Corporate Whore" badly enough, now we're subjected to a Pepsi Twist commercial featuring none other than all the Osbournes.

MAN, how I have lost all respect for the Grandaddy of Metal. http://www.abc-kid.com/heman/pictures/tn_010_jpg.jpg

[Skulhedface]

and btw, now I feel all horrible, because I drive a Neon. BUT, it's a '95 neon. Before those damn commercials. Well, maybe now I feel a little better.
http://www.abc-kid.com/heman/pictures/tn_010_jpg.jpg

[Anonymous]

Right now, that PS2 Everquest commercial is getting on my nerves. That guy in the beginning rolls his eyes into the back of his head, and then says "it's time to slay the dragon." It's just creepy.

[Ninjavenom]

I know firsthand that Everquest players are FAR too lethargic to stand up and play at the same time.

[Skulhedface]

Wanna know the WORST local commercials?

Try living in Louisiana (hint: To remove the stereotype, there's a lot more metalhead and goth kids here than rednecks.. even Phil from Pantera was born here)

BUT, Louisianans (I DETEST the fucking term 'cajun') are doing nothing to help themselves with that stereotype. Every commercial here has something to do with some thick-accented bastard screaming "aieeeee" before saying something about "eatin'm s'm crawdads" At least our Mardi Gras commercials kick ass. Too bad 1/2 of them are "Girls Gone Wild" ads.

[Skulhedface]

There's another commercial I can live without: The Girls Gone Wild commercials. ESPECIALLY those fucking "Doggy Style" ads. If you wanna know what I mean, try watching Comedy Central ANYTIME past midnight, and check the commercials. Sure makes watching The Critic and Duckman a pain in the arse.

[vicmackey]

I am really starting not to like those damn Dr. Scholls gel inserts commercials. "You gellin'" "I'm gellin like a felon." I want to shoot everyone of those bastards. :die

[FeuerAffe]

Today I saw Celine Dion in a commercial for the Chrysler Town and Country, making this minivan some kind of tender, caring environment for her and her kid. It made me want to hurt things. :(

The Osbournes Pepsi Twist one is damn annoying too. Please die Kelly...please. I mean, your brother is annoying too, but you...

[pissed off salesman]

I like the cell phone commercial with the monkey with the cold and the commercial wit a ranch full of weiner dogs

[Skulhedface]

Just remembered, and I actually can't believe no one else has brought this up:

Those Darren's Dance Groove commercials. ARGH!!! IS IT REALLY NECESSARY TO SMEAR YOUR COMMERCIAL FECES ALL OVER MY TV?!?

[Psycho Squid]

The commercial that I hate the most are the one for Suncoast Video with that guy that acts like a retard because he can't remember the title of the movie that he wants so he tries to act out the movie for the video store clerk. God this fucker is more annoying than Jared from Subway.

[Daphne]

have any Canadians here seen the 'Buck-a-Day' commercials?

those are SO awful I don't know one person who doesn't freak out and yell when they come on.

Like the one with the impossibly ugly girl dancing to bad techno?? Who thought she was hot enough to put on TV??

[Zbu Manowar]

I am really starting not to like those damn Dr. Scholls gel inserts commercials. "You gellin'" "I'm gellin like a felon." I want to shoot everyone of those bastards. :die

No kidding. It's sad to retards act suave over FOOTWEAR.

And Darren's Dance moves is painful. I mean, grow some balls, man. Stop running around like a fem!

[timrpgland]

Right now, that PS2 Everquest commercial is getting on my nerves. That guy in the beginning rolls his eyes into the back of his head, and then says "it's time to slay the dragon." It's just creepy.

Hehe, but the game itself is fun so I like the commercial. :) Damn, where are those fucking dragons? I want one to kill me. :(

[Zomboid]

have any Canadians here seen the 'Buck-a-Day' commercials?

those are SO awful I don't know one person who doesn't freak out and yell when they come on.

Like the one with the impossibly ugly girl dancing to bad techno?? Who thought she was hot enough to put on TV??

THANK YOU!

Me and my friends have been bashing those fucking things since the first one. "Do you think you really waaaant a clo-one" "No way!" .

AAARRRGGGGHHHHH! What annoys me the most is that there's like 5 different ones now. That one where the fucking ugly bitch is dancing is the worst >:

[Anonymous]

I don't watch TV, but I do wake up to the radio every morning, and those commercials are actually worse.

I really hate two right now; One starts off with:

Did you know that the average income of a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer is now over $70,000 a year? *SCCASRARARTCH* Of course you do. After all...you've probably heard this commercial more than a...few times before.

Really, I fucking hate anything with dramatic pauses in it. It makes me pay attention to it to mentally guess the exact moment they'll start speaking again. And it's gay.

The other one I really hate is new and it's talking about winning $100 from something gay I don't know and one of the annoying talking heads is rambling on about how his aunt Edna looks like Benjamin Franklin and how patriotic she is.

[Daphne]

THANK YOU!

Me and my friends have been bashing those fucking things since the first one. "Do you think you really waaaant a clo-one" "No way!" .

AAARRRGGGGHHHHH! What annoys me the most is that there's like 5 different ones now. That one where the fucking ugly bitch is dancing is the worst >:
:lol that made me feel so much better reading that! It's nice to know others out there feel the pain we feel.

I HAVE to find a pic of her! She's such a fucking mutant that it honestly bothers me when i look at her. How would look at that face and want to give it money? Unless it's to make her go away or get a nose job!

[Zomboid]

Yep, she's actually gross to look at. She looks like a cross between a camel and skeletor. I'm scared :(

[Skulhedface]

Since Chojy brought up radio commercials...

The only ones I can think of offhand are of course the Geico commercials (at least on TV, they TRY to be funny) and anything with Rush Limbaugh giving the whole hearted support. The only thing Rush Limbaugh should be pitching are Tums, Preparation-H and perhaps the company that makes the little cushions that fit on your toilet seat.

[Jeanette X]

Another one: that stupid Coca-Cola Girl who imitated all the voices. What I wouldn't give to have a Hell's Angel beat the hell out of her with a length of copper tubing.

Good Lord...I know...I fucking hate that one too!

[Jeanette X]

Yup. The kid with the black background behind him and spouting dialogue that's just too PC for a kid to speak it.

And here's another that's a strictly Detroit one for this law firm: at this junkass convenience store, a kid asks for a candy bar. The mom grabs this kid and screams "I CAN'T, WE DON'T HAVE THE KIND OF MONEY!!" Then she goes up to the cashier and says in a perfect calm voice: "I'd like $100 worth of Easy Picks Lotto Tickets, please."

This apparently is a commercial for gambling addiction. But it comes off as the woman is a completely abusive retard who honestly thinks $100 worth of Lotto tickets--not the scratch off but the actual ones--is going to make her hit it big. This isn't gambling addiction, this woman is bone stupid!!

AHHHHHH!! Oh, my head hurts now.

You would simply be amazed at how often things like that happen in real life. Personally I am in favor of contraceptive laced blow-darts.

[Jeanette X]

There's another commercial I can live without: The Girls Gone Wild commercials. ESPECIALLY those fucking "Doggy Style" ads. If you wanna know what I mean, try watching Comedy Central ANYTIME past midnight, and check the commercials. Sure makes watching The Critic and Duckman a pain in the arse.

I FUCKING hate those Girls Gone Wild commercials. Why, oh why, do my fellow women DO THESE THINGS?!?!?!

[Jeanette X]

The commercial that I hate the most are the one for Suncoast Video with that guy that acts like a retard because he can't remember the title of the movie that he wants so he tries to act out the movie for the video store clerk. God this fucker is more annoying than Jared from Subway.

Ahhh! That happens in real life too!

[Jeanette X]

I just saw a commercial that enraged me. Picture this:

The American prarie. Bison. Coyotes. Prarie Dogs. Unspoiled wilderness.
Suddenly....a rumble in the distance! The animals look up, nervous...
The rumble grows louder! The coyotes run! The prarie dogs hide! The bison stampede!
In a cloud of dust appears...A CAR! A male singer begins to croon, "Like a rock...ooooohhh..like a ROCK!"

Now what the hell is up with this?! Wanton destruction of the environment?! Disturbing nature?! This is supposed to be the sales pitch?!

[Anonymous]

I hate those mattress commerials where they talk about how their mattress is made from crap that NASA came up with.

They have a woman who says the mattress, "feels like it's forming its own glove to me." What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is the mattress cutting off the blodd flow to your brain, lady?

And then they show how a glass of wine set on the mattress won't tip over if a woman jumps on the bed. That'd be a great feature to have if I ever decide to serve drinks off of my damned mattress.

[Skulhedface]

Can this be expanded into infomercials? If so, I'd like to include anything that has the suffix "-Master" in it, e.g. ThighMaster, Ab Master, Ass Master...

[Skulhedface]

As much as I hate those Verizon commercials I found this funny as hell:

http://members.aol.com/xundeadnationx/images/verizon.jpg