first impressions

[baxter building]

ok, your first impressions of me:
generally annoying British person who is a bit of a smart arse, not too far from the truth. but lets see how i do with you lot.

Perndog, sees themselves as an official representative of the board. a logician who takes himself too seriously.

Max. probably clever. older than most of the people on here and has a sort of 'untouchable' status on the board.

Jixby. the weird kid at school, very funny but no one knows quite how to handle him. likeable in a naughy puppy kind of way.

sadie: one of these women who is not particularly witty or eloquent but people wont have a go at her because she is a girl.

Protoklown: i think i could like this fella. although I suspect that there is a major geek factor- maybe he used to be a gamer?

carni: puts on a good show of hate but i suspect he is really a big softy I bet his girlfriend and him are a real fluffy couple.

Spadowsky: one of the more literate and open minded people I have seen on here.

other thoughts as I get to know everyones names.

[Dole]

FUCK MY PEOPLE

[Schimid]

:wah

[sadie]

utterly fascinating.

[Big McLargehuge]

I declare war on the UK :posh

[Les Waste]

HEY WEHRE TEH FUCK AM I ON THAT LIST?!?!?!?!!?!?!/

ILL THINK ILL STARTE MY OWN LIST OV WHO I LIEK AND WHO I HATE

:daisyhead

[kellychaos]

"Judge not, lest ye be ..." Aw, fuck it! You're a tool. :/

[Esuohlim]

AS LONG AS I'M STILL FIRST ON RETRO KAT'S DEATH LIST, I DON'T MIND. >:

October 28 2027 :(

[MrAdventure]

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, OLD??? THAT'S A LUAGH :lol

[Protoclown]

Perndog is our official representative?

Shit, I don't even think I've noticed more than a couple of his posts.

[glowbelly]

my hand smells like my crotch.
this is happening more and more often.

[Les Waste]

Well maybe that wouldn't happen if you'd just keep your hand out of there :rolleyes

Baxter also called Perndog "them."

Baxter also assumes that our first impression of him is that of a smart ass. At leat he got the annoying part right >:

[mburbank]

Dole; Do you really think this guy is English? I mean, I could be wrong, hell it turned out Ronny and the Kap'n actually were black, so I guess anything can be anybody.

But this guy sort of strikes me as the fat lonley kid in high school who thought it would make him cool to adopt a british accent he thought was really good but actually sucked, and it became a compulsion and he couldn't turn it off even after the most severe beatings.

[glowbelly]

it is after 8pm where dole lives, so he will not be responding to you this evening because he has no internet at home.

otherwise, i agree with you.

[Rongi]

Two asskissing threads in one day. Wow

[FS]

other thoughts as I get to know everyones names.

Oh my God, he's going to get ALL our numbers. None of us are safe of his razor-sharp observations.

You're next! YOU'RE NEXT!!

[baxter building]

see you just love threads that feed your ego's.
at least one person is pissed off because they didn't get a mention.
shame that dole is not going to be around as us British folk could have a natter. and the fact that his sig is from Alan Partridge and i know that Hemsby is a place in norfolk might pursuade you that I am indeed a UK citizen. although I couldn't give 2 orange shits what you think.
the fact is a know a lot about you lot from your insane ramblings- and you know Jack about me.

Glowbelly seems a sharp one- i guess she is one of these 'old school' board members. I would say quite a creative type- very neptunian.

I bet the board webmaster whips you all into shape when you bad. and I assume that 'Doopa' is his girlfriend, although i haven't seen her post much. From the fact that so many of you a from Virginia you probably went to school together and this board offers you a way to stay in a state of perpetual adolescence and avoid the adult reality. fair play to that.

[Pub Lover]

I got bored yesterday & finally went & started on ripping the floor up in my basement, & to my surprise I found that the planks were just nailed to the dirt... WHAT SORT OF COMPLETE RETARD NAILS WOOD TO DIRT?! >:

[Bennett]

"baxter building" is a subtle reference, that is actually meant to throw us off track to the fact that this guy is one of....

THE WATCHERS! :faint

[FS]

Midget. :)

[mburbank]

I take it all back, Bax. I'm devestated by your insight. Seriously, your smart, empathic... It's almost spooky how great you are.








doofus.

[Daphne]

HEY WEHRE TEH FUCK AM I ON THAT LIST?!?!?!?!!?!?!/

ILL THINK ILL STARTE MY OWN LIST OV WHO I LIEK AND WHO I HATE

:daisyhead

:lol :love bobo

[baxter building]

lets see Max,
you are a forty something, slightly overweight- but not by american standards. you put yourself down when it comes to your appearance. but you shouldn't- take a look in the mirror and say 'I may have a receding hairline and expanding waistline but by god I still have a twinkle in my eye and can raise more wood than they brought up from the Mary Rose.' Now make love to wife with the passion you had before the kids came along.

[FS]

Max doesn't have a receeding hairline. He has a full, masculine mop of hair.

[Perndog]

The characterization of me is too wrong to bitch about it, so let me just restate the fact that baxter is way too full of himself and needs a forcible trepanation (http://www.trepan.com/home.html) to let some of the hot air out.

[baxter building]

so what are you his hairdresser?

[Jeanette X]

see you just love threads that feed your ego's.
at least one person is pissed off because they didn't get a mention.
You actually took that seriously? :lol
shame that dole is not going to be around as us British folk could have a natter. and the fact that his sig is from Alan Partridge and i know that Hemsby is a place in norfolk might pursuade you that I am indeed a UK citizen. although I couldn't give 2 orange shits what you think.
So why are you telling us?
the fact is a know a lot about you lot from your insane ramblings- and you know Jack about me.
And this matters because...?
I bet the board webmaster whips you all into shape when you bad. and I assume that 'Doopa' is his girlfriend, although i haven't seen her post much.
Re, alias Doopa, is Rog's wife, not girlfriend. (unless I am mistaken :/ )
From the fact that so many of you a from Virginia you probably went to school together and this board offers you a way to stay in a state of perpetual adolescence and avoid the adult reality.
Apparently you have not looked at the member lists. :rolleyes

[Les Waste]

I AM NEW TO TEH BOARD AN D I WILL START INSULTING AND TRYING MY HAND AT "MOCKING" THE OTHER MEMMERS OF THIS FORUM BOARD, AFTER ALL THIS IS A BOARD CALLED I MOCKERY, MEANING "I MOCK OTHER PEOPLE" SO THIS IS OVBIOUSLY A FLAME BOARD, MEANING ITY IS INTENDED FOR ME TO "MOCK" OTHER PEOPLE, DUH GET IT?!?! :rolleyes

[pissed off salesman]

evaluate me, guy!

[Rev. Danno]

I heart you JeanX...
Also the new brit needs to shut the hell up...
Don't make me get Colonial on your ass...
Your empire is crumbling, your Queen will soon die, you'll soon have King Blondie...
You are frm a third rate, third wold Industial nation... everyone can beat the UK, even Canada(maybe)...
I am so drunk...
(but I still heart JeanX, and all the other hot girls w/ glasses on this board, well maybe not HR, not till next year at least... Mmmmm Chojin, I could really go for a Chojin and tonic right now....)
Dude, I'm so drunk.... I'm useing four "." instead of three".".
Rock on................................................ ...........................................
PooP!

Battle Of new Orleans you Limey fuck!!!

I love you Jonny Horton...
c
No offece Dole, you rock... I'm just saying this to piss of the rest of th e Brits I don't like...
The Queen Mum was a sloppy bitch!
Wait, being from the uk, and having the name dole, is like being from the US and having the name Wellfare...
FS, I like you but I hate all Scandinavian countries (except for Iceland, someday they may win in football, and that song contest all of euprope compates in,,,, & also they someday may win something that means someting... But the people are nice, well spoken, & are the salt of the earth, unlike the finnish, & the Danish... Danish are like the european equals to hobbits, not in size.... but in attitude.... too much of that halfling weed....)
Rock out w/ your cock out...

[Dole]

Max: Yup, he is a brit. He used the word 'mentalist' which is an Alan Partridge reference- a uk (godlike) comedy show that has yet to be exported...

[Les Waste]

Dude, I'm so drunk.... I'm useing four "." instead of three".".
omg, That's great to hear that somebody else actually knows what an ellipses is. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten in screaming arguments at people who, for some reason, think there isn't a right way to write ". . ." and think that it must therefore be equally correct to write it as "...................."

[Helm]

I hate this thread.

[kellychaos]

Uncanny insight! :eek Do you have a website? OMG!! ASL?

[mburbank]

Well, dole, it's alright. Vinth doesn't make me feel ashamed to be American after all.







Just ashamed to be a primate.

[Big McLargehuge]

OMG MAX YOU'RE BLACK??????????

[Dole]

'No offece Dole, you rock... I'm just saying this to piss of the rest of th e Brits I don't like...
The Queen Mum was a sloppy bitch! '

No offece taken dude. I hate my countrymen/women too. And the queen Mum was indeed, a 'sloppy bitch'. 'SLOPPY BITCH!' I cried as I finally got to view her coffin after queueing for 6 hours to see it, after she went all dead.

[Perndog]

Why would you stand in line for six hours to see anyone's corpse?

[Dole]

CRUSTY LOVE. Duh!

[mburbank]

Dole, you make me larf.

Are you familliar with Robin Hytchcock at all? I've seen him in concert several times, and what you miss on his albums is his ramblings between songs which I find to be a type of humor that has no paralell in America.

Alexi Sayles. Is he still around? None of his work makes it over here anymore if he is.


Britt bashing aside (and I love any form of xenophobia) for most of my adult life I was only capable of dating your countrywomen. Strangely, or perhaps fortuitously, I married an American.


Bax is almost certainly a for real Britt, but he reminds me in every way of the MOST boorish of American Anglofiles.

A very good college friend of mine from England was once asked by an American family he was visiting if they had July fourth in England. All he could say was "Yes".

[Dole]

Hehe...thats funny!

Never heard Robyn Hitchcock...can you recommend anything?

Alexei Sayle (singular) is still around...he just did a book signing in Brighton. He isnt on telly much these days...I did used to enjoy his show 'Alexei Sayle's Stuff' -did you ever get that? Twas rather odd.

I would happily relate my experiences of dating English women, if any of them ever actually agreed to go out with me.

[mburbank]

"Groovy Decoy" is my favoritest because it's got "I often dream of trains" and (I think) "My wife and my dead wife".

I'll look it up and let you know if there's anything in particular you can listen to on line.

We VERY briefly got "Alexi... stuff" and I really wished we'd had it longer, as his stuff is hard to get all of in one listening.

[kellychaos]

Why would you stand in line for six hours to see anyone's corpse?

I would stand six hours in line to view your corpse ... as long as I was permitted to have a wooden stake whith which I could stab you repeatedly and visciously in the heart when my turn in the queue came about. No offense. :/

[mburbank]

I would stand six hours in line to see pretty much any corpse. But that's just me.

[kellychaos]

Real corpses are more fun. Those damn morticians ruin everything. No chance to become a zombie after they're done with you, no sir! >: