omg, near death experience =.(

[imported_Hollycaust]

So early today in the student parking lot, some girl wearing a burka was booming down the road with murdah rap. I was scared for my life, 'cuz you know, incoming car bomb =.( and I was stuck in the middle of a lane. I mean, doesn't burka + rap = terrorism, declaration of war or something!?#?


I think I'm going to need a support group for this incident =.( Has anyone else had a near-death experience?

[Jixby Phillips]

My dad almost killed me onmce :(

[BaronVonBoner]

Whenever I read hollycausts posts I contemplate suicide.
DOES THAT COUNT?

[James]

*hugs Holly tight, and kisses her all over*

I'm so glad you're alright, sweetie. :(

[Mike]

That's not a near-death experience, that's just a girl wearing a burkah in a car. People like you make me sick.

[Command Prompt]

Nothing gets through you. Excepts sarcasm. And reality. Go away.

[HickMan]

Has anyone else had a near-death experience?

I almost hit my head on teh floor. :melt

[James]

That's not a near-death experience, that's just a girl wearing a burkah in a car. People like you make me sick.

Dude, what the fuck is your problem? This girl was scared for her life because some funny-speaking Hindu beeyotch was going to carbomb her, and you go and insult her? You're a lowest peice of scum I've ever met, and I hope Burka lady rams her deathmobile right up your insensitive ass.

[Les Waste]

Anybody who responds to a Hollycaust post with something like "YEAH I KILL MYSELF EVERY TIME YOU POST CAUSE YOU SUCK LOL" is a retarded-ass cunt monster who thinks they'll finally be able to fit in somewhere by flaming somebody they assume we all hate.

Hollycaust rules >:

[jin]

Chojin says i love holly because she is like a female version of me.

I always thought my boobs would be bigger.

AHEHAEhaHEhAEH

[imported_Hollycaust]

James, I now realize how every minute of our love counts <3 From now on, I'm going with you to strip malls with your pals, to "work" with that female co-worker of yours that you do every sat etc... but if you don't want me to, I'll understand. I'll cook you dinner and set up your porn mags on the table as usual, either way makes me happy <333

People like you make me sick.

Are you going to crash your jet into my home tomorrow, Sept 11 stylz?

Hollycaust rules >:

And then some ^_^

I always thought my boobs would be bigger.

Tell you what. Let's make a pact. We'll go under the knife together. Instant double D's loloalokl

[imported_Hollycaust]

Whenever I read hollycausts posts I contemplate suicide.
DOES THAT COUNT?

Oh, quit comtemplating and actually do it >: because it would be really cool if one day you pressed a littllllleeeee too hard on that razor blade and your mom walks in and finds, boohoo, that you have bled to death on the bathroom floor the night before.
See you in hell psycho.




Also, tampax pearl is the best ever. Remarkable shiny thing!!~

[ScruU2wice]

OK, Hollycaust this is really important, when you saw the person in the burkah, was she cross-eyed?

[imported_Hollycaust]

Well, I would only be able to tell if she was coming right at me, guy! THINK!!!!

[BaronVonBoner]

Anybody who responds to a Hollycaust post with something like "YEAH I KILL MYSELF EVERY TIME YOU POST CAUSE YOU SUCK LOL" is a retarded-ass cunt monster who thinks they'll finally be able to fit in somewhere by flaming somebody they assume we all hate.

:lol
Your kidding right?

[Supafly345]

You stereotyped the poor woman. I wonder how she feels... everyone fearing her because of the way she looks... not getting any business at her convenience store... slowly planning her revenge...
I suppose most people in my part of country don't think much about terroists. Maybe it is because we were so far away or maybe all the coffee saturation has shot our brains. Mmmmm... coffee...

[Anonymous]

I know how she feels. The other day, I saw a latino, and I almost died.:(

[Pub Lover]

http://www.geocities.com/braindeadjimmy/fanpic/fanpic-burka.txt

[imported_Hollycaust]

You stereotyped the poor woman.

Oh no, you have it all wrong! It's not just her. Every time I see a guy with cornrows booming down the street or some midget behind a raised truck (which is ugly fyi), I get scared as well! :(

I know how she feels. The other day, I saw a latino, and I almost died.:(

How could you compare my experience with such a trivial matter?! :tear A latino branding a gardening rake doesn't pose as much a threat as a veiled killer behind the wheel.

http://www.geocities.com/braindeadjimmy/fanpic/fanpic-burka.txt

I'd believe it. They're easy.

Your kidding right?

http://www.daye1.com/reeds/torazbld.jpg http://www.louisxvimannequins.com/special_fx/wrist.jpg

Do it.
Thanks!

[James]

Holly, I am requesting that you take a picture of you holding up a sign that says "I LOVE JAMES." The sign cannot be photoshopped.

If you do this, and post it on these boards, I will know once and for all that you are not a character, and I shall marry you.

[FartinMowler]

James is a leg humper.

[Anonymous]

I know how she feels. The other day, I saw a latino, and I almost died.:(

How could you compare my experience with such a trivial matter?! :tear A latino branding a gardening rake doesn't pose as much a threat as a veiled killer behind the wheel.

James is lucky to have a character like you all to himself.

[Daphne]

Anybody who responds to a Hollycaust post with something like "YEAH I KILL MYSELF EVERY TIME YOU POST CAUSE YOU SUCK LOL" is a retarded-ass cunt monster who thinks they'll finally be able to fit in somewhere by flaming somebody they assume we all hate.
AGREED! :)

Has anyone else had a near-death experience?
Before I go on, I want to add that it was really dark out, and this is Canada so I'm not used to guns!
One time I was with my friend and we needed a light for our cigarettes, so I asked this kindly looking old man with a duffel bag if he had a light. He starts rummaging through his bag all weird and muttering, and then out comes this gun . :eek
I stepped in front of my friend to shield her, that was my first reaction, and then the dodgy old fuck pulls the trigger and low and behold it's a lighter. :/
I felt dumb afterwards, but it's nice to know I'm thoughtful in a crisis, I guess.

[kellychaos]

If it was a rifle lighter, you may have gotten hurt. :eek

[Daphne]

why do you even bother talking to me?

[kellychaos]

You're kind of hot when you're angry. Cyber? :love

[Daphne]

you've never seen me angry.

And no thanks to the cyber, if you're this bad at being funny I shudder to think how bad you are at anything else.

[kellychaos]

You're kind of hot when you're semi-angry. Cyber? :lol

[Mike]

thinks they'll finally be able to fit in somewhere by flaming somebody they assume we all hate.

LOL, you fucking wish. I love how every other thing people say is "wow you're trying to fit in, you suck". I DONT CARE.

Anyway, I was responding the way I did because no, it was not that funny even if it was supposed to be sarcastic or jokey or something, and if she was serious then she's an ignorant bitch. Either way I think she sucks and I don't care if you want to blow me or call me a legit mocker or what. And yes, I know you have been here forever and you have cool friends that you've never even seen. I don't know you, I don't give a fuck. Sure you might actually be cool, I have nothing against any of you. If you're ever in the Denver Metro area IM me and I'll get you drunk or something.

[kahljorn]

Interested in a near death experience, want to know more? Please press one.

Try the traditional shamanistic ethneobotanic known as datura, that's right, datura. Used oft throughout time, by such people as the aztecs, witches(Hardcore witch potions that really worked), Native Americans and many other cultures. Also known as Jimson weed, hell's bell's, loco weed, angel trumpet.. it's gauranteed to give you a good near death experience, kill you, or make you insane.
It is said learning how to use the datura itself is a spiritual experience, if you cannot make it through, it will consume your soul. It is a direct link to the spiritual world, it's fun for the whole family.
USER BE CAUTIONED, MAY SEE CRAZY FACE CHANGING PEOPLE. MAY FALL THROUGH FLOORS, MAY RUN INTO INVISIBLE FORCEFIELDS THAT ARE REALLY WALLS BUT YOURE IN A LITERAL WAKING DREAM SO YOU DONT THINK THERES A WALL THERE SO YOU RUN INTO IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN. STAIRS? STAY AWAY FROM STAIRS, YOU CANT SEE THEM, YOULL THINK ITS A FLOOR. INSTANT BROKEN RIBS. Cars? Invisible, you're roadkill. SMall pebbles? You think they're diamonds, you could kill a demon who's trying to steal it from you but it's really your aunt jain who wants to borrow some eggs.
MOST IMPORTANTLY beware the bacterial growth that will eat away at your hand slowly, it's dangerous, you have to embrace your lucidity my friends. Give it a spin or two, fell the Magnetic Reinforcement of corsculating primal forces shaking your body, like candy wrapped goodness whispering sweet practicalities into your ears you always knew but always regressed. STRIVE ITSTRIIIEVE. Once that instinctual curve grabs your every angle it's just a matter of your presence upon the world, the personal gravity of your soul. The bacteria lives wiiithin.

[FS]

http://www.evilkandee.net/forum/uploads/photo-7.jpg
Who is this sweet girl? Sorry i haven't been around long enough to know who she is, but her smile just brightens my day. I'd like to do something nice for this girl, she looks so innocent and happy. Does anyone know who she is? I'd love to meet her and just do something kind for her in return. :)

[kahljorn]

I'd like to meet her and have sex :(

[kellychaos]

She doesn't cyber. :(

[kahljorn]

I meant meet up, as in... meet. Are you this person, dancingtigerchaos?

[kellychaos]

:lol nah ... I'm a dude but apparently she's my arch-enemy ... not by my intentional doing but I guessed she has vowed to be a defender of "all that is Jizzboy" putting her in the enemy camp ... whateva.

[Anonymous]

http://www.popnko.com/mockpic/kellychaos.gifhttp://www.popnko.com/mockpic/kellychaos.gifhttp://www.popnko.com/mockpic/kellychaos.gifhttp://www.popnko.com/mockpic/kellychaos.gif

[kellychaos]

That quote was taken out of context. >:

[Zhukov]

I thought kellychaos was a lady. :/

[Daphne]

:lol nah ... I'm a dude but apparently she's my arch-enemy ... not by my intentional doing but I guessed she has vowed to be a defender of "all that is Jizzboy" putting her in the enemy camp ... whateva.

You are so fucking STUPID Kelly! He's talking about the girl in the picture
(here http://www.evilkandee.net/forum/uploads/photo-7.jpg )

and that's not me you fucktard.

And you aren't my 'enemy' I don't know you! I just think you're the most unfunny person I've ever seen online.

[FS]

I'm sorry, please delete this thread.

[kellychaos]

Great! Now I've got all the people you've met offline to be unfunnier than. >: File that under "I don't give a shite". :)

[Big McLargehuge]

Kelly sure does suck, huh guys :lol



I hate me. >:

[kellychaos]

I hate you more ... you're the suck suck suckiest ... thanks for ruining this thread ... dude!

[Big McLargehuge]

Your lack of creativity astounds me, I think Max could sue you for plagarism.

[imported_Hollycaust]

Oh, I bet ya'll thought I died on Sept 11 and all, but I didn't so y'all can stop grieving now!!!1!

And what's with this shit about me being a character?!????????

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid81/p78302fa3371136fd2e4b4bc62f57ac10/faf914ff.jpg




GET OVER IT, I'M HOT AND REAL.

[imported_Hollycaust]

So anyways I just took a shower like an hour ago it was nice and hot and I lathered my fake tits

[klownboy]

YO YO YO YO!!
ITS BLOODY KLOWN BOY UP IN THIS JOINT!!

[imported_Hollycaust]

wtf darkie? must be a project thing


Before I go on, I want to add that it was really dark out, and this is Canada so I'm not used to guns!
One time I was with my friend and we needed a light for our cigarettes, so I asked this kindly looking old man with a duffel bag if he had a light. He starts rummaging through his bag all weird and muttering, and then out comes this gun . :eek
I stepped in front of my friend to shield her, that was my first reaction, and then the dodgy old fuck pulls the trigger and low and behold it's a lighter. :/
I felt dumb afterwards, but it's nice to know I'm thoughtful in a crisis, I guess.

oh fuck, that is scary :/// that's almost on the same grounds as feeling you're going to get raped 'cuz the guy approaching you is black

[soundtest]

i just read this thread. :lol + :love @ Daphne

[imported_Hollycaust]

Anyway, I was responding the way I did because no, it was not that funny even if it was supposed to be sarcastic or jokey or something, and if she was serious then she's an ignorant bitch. Either way I think she sucks and I don't care if you want to blow me or call me a legit mocker or what. And yes, I know you have been here forever and you have cool friends that you've never even seen. I don't know you, I don't give a fuck. Sure you might actually be cool, I have nothing against any of you. If you're ever in the Denver Metro area IM me and I'll get you drunk or something.

Mike, seriously, stop acting like you're on Jenny Jones

"You dont know me, sit down bitch, you dont know me"

[Schimid]

IT MUST BE THE JENNY JONES SHOW WHERE THEY CHECK IN ON PEOPLE THAT WERE ON THE SHOW BEFORE BECAUSE HE'S BEEN GONE FOR TWO FUCKING WEEKS.

[klownboy]

THATS FUKIN BLOODY RIGHT!!

[imported_Hollycaust]

oh, I bet Mike died through some lame shit like falling down the stairs
who wants to bet?

[Schimid]

SHUT UP

[imported_Hollycaust]

slow your rolls, mack daddy

[klownboy]

SHUT THE BLOODY FUCK HOLE YOU BLOODY MUTHA FUKA!!
JUST BLOODY KIDDEN!! LO BOODY L

[CaptainBubba]

Shouldn't you be at James' bedside Holly? Hes sick. :(

Also you never answered a question I made in a previous thread concerning a threesome between the three of us. It still plagues my thoughts every night:

WILL THERE BE SEXING INVOLVED????

I DEMAND A PROMPT AND FRANK RESPONSE. >: >:

[Spooky]

I hate you more ... you're the suck suck suckiest ... thanks for ruining this thread ... dude!

that's really not funny unless someone else says it. :rolleyes

[klownboy]

WHOS A HOE?! WHOS A HOE?!


basterds :troutslap

[imported_Hollycaust]

klowieboy, settle down

captainbubba... only if i have a good chance of becoming a gold digging trophy wife =.)

[klownboy]

FINE ILL TRY... F*CK I CANT!!

[James]

klowieboy, settle down

captainbubba... only if i have a good chance of becoming a gold digging trophy wife =.)

:(

[kahljorn]

|

Line.

[Mike]

Oh that's me...I fell down the stairs and died.. SEE YOU IN HELL!!!

Actually I've been in school, and I competed in the regional concerto competition (violin gigs and shit).

Considering the context of my post I was talking ABOUT you, not TO you, holly, so thanks a whole heap for responding to other people's shit way WAY FUCKIN LATE! However, thanks for pointing out my post's unintentional tendency to lean toward the comments of the kind of trash who go on talk shows. Now I understand why you felt so compelled to respond, you must have thought it was your place as a skank 'n shit.

[imported_Hollycaust]

OMG MY BAD!!! PLEASE BEEP ME WHEN YOU LEAVE A RESPONSE SO I CAN GET BACK TO IT WITHIN 35987 SECONDS THANKS!

And listen, about this "skank n' shit" thing, we have already established this k?!

[Mike]

Whateva, I do what I want!

[kahljorn]

LIKE DOING HANDSTANDS ON SKATEBOARDS

:skaterforlifewhoisapunkrockerwhodoesthingsoutside ofsociety

Look at my pretty leotard.

[Mike]

Na, I don't like leotards. Those things would probably squeeze my junk.

[kahljorn]

Yea, they might be a little uncomfortable on your breasts.

[Mike]

Yeah you would know, your tits are bigger than mine.

[kahljorn]

Only because I'm not a 12 year old girl :/

[Mike]

But I am? Time to send out all those "guess what, you're a lesbian!" notices.

[kahljorn]

that would be funny if santa had said that, but otherwise it was just gay.



pun?

[Mike]

That's right. My post likes buttsex. Do you?