WTF?

[Les Waste]

AnUnknownTipster: Did he mention the FANTASTIC brunch at my husband's brekfast nook
Les Waste: I don't know who you are :-(
AnUnknownTipster: why im Les Waste, i do articles for advance titan for UofW, but you can call me Bobo
AnUnknownTipster: and you?
Les Waste: which UofW?
Les Waste: >:o
AnUnknownTipster: DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU
Les Waste: but. . .
Les Waste: that's MY life! :-(
AnUnknownTipster: Its my life - bon jovi
AnUnknownTipster: i rock the oshkosh
Les Waste: Bon Jovi is a royal pain in the ass >:o
AnUnknownTipster: and some people confuse me with the ted danson character Becker
AnUnknownTipster: now thats a pain in the ass
Les Waste: so when the hell do I get this brunch I was promised?
AnUnknownTipster: it at the breakfast nook
Les Waste: But Chris Becker doesn't have a breakfast nook, let alone a husband
AnUnknownTipster: but first to discuss some guideline
AnUnknownTipster: i am taking over your life
AnUnknownTipster: you had a good run, but were gonna have to replace you with a youngster with a little more spunk and PIZZAZZ so to speak
Les Waste: finally
Les Waste: I was starting to wear down
AnUnknownTipster: well this will give you new batteries
AnUnknownTipster: while i take over your life, you get a cousy job as Resident Hobo in a New York alley and will get a bottle of booze every month, lifetime supply of newspaper scraps, and a shopping cary
AnUnknownTipster: *cart Excuse me im quite estatic by the whole thing
Les Waste: sounds acceptable!
Les Waste: will the booze be rye?!
AnUnknownTipster: anything from rye to crystal or however p.diddy says it
Les Waste: I can't afford that on a bum's salary!
Les Waste: it seems like you haven't thought this through properly >:o
AnUnknownTipster: oh no we provide it TO YOU
AnUnknownTipster: see where a generous company part of the Pod People Programe or P Square for short
Les Waste: but a bum drinking Crystyle would look suspicous!
AnUnknownTipster: we replace the bottle with a old hickory bottle
Les Waste: someone would say "how did that bum afford such a high end champange?" and that's when people will know I'm been replaced by a Pod person
AnUnknownTipster: not even jesus would know
AnUnknownTipster: because we have someone replacing jesus
Les Waste: yeah but they'll see what it is after I pour some out for my fallen homies >:o
AnUnknownTipster: you will be a white bum mr. becker
AnUnknownTipster: we dont have enough shoe polish to coat your body
AnUnknownTipster: although i know someone in marketing would love to get their hands in that action
AnUnknownTipster: speaking of which, while we replace Chris Becker, there will be slight changes
Les Waste: can I finally become a fat latino woman?
AnUnknownTipster: A white Bum mr. becker
Les Waste: I mean Chris Becker :ROLLEEYS
AnUnknownTipster: we gave the fat latino lady to feorge forman
AnUnknownTipster: get it Forge Forman
AnUnknownTipster: HE ISNT REAL
AnUnknownTipster: nor will be you
AnUnknownTipster: now please let me tell you about the new chris becker
Les Waste: no
Les Waste: I'm gonna go take my contacts out instead
AnUnknownTipster: sir you are a quitter
Les Waste: but they hurt my eyes :-(
AnUnknownTipster: therefore im am now putting you on clone prbation
AnUnknownTipster: no crystal, just urine
AnUnknownTipster: indian american bum, not white bum
Les Waste: but urine smells like asparagus :-(
Les Waste: loo, that's the funniest thing I've ever said
Les Waste: I hope the new chris becker is as funny as the old one :D
AnUnknownTipster: that will be your last words
Les Waste: :-(
AnUnknownTipster: THe new chris becker has the wit of george carlin the speed of Ceasar Chaves, and the gurth of Miles Davis
Les Waste: he sounds like an impressive fellow!
AnUnknownTipster: the new chris beck will also be a bi0curious playboy from San Fran who enjoys sports, jocks, and cocks
Les Waste: He'll work hard, and he'll play hard ;-)
AnUnknownTipster: did i mention he is cursed with impotency
AnUnknownTipster: also, chris becker will no longer write for advance titan, he will now write for vouge on fashion tips for a bodacious bod
Les Waste: man, the new Chris Becker sounds so much cooler and smarter than me :-(
AnUnknownTipster: oh and no more soul patch, that cause nothing but trouble
Les Waste: hey >:o
AnUnknownTipster: people will confuse your from the gay guy from Im With Busey
Les Waste: I don't have just a soul patch, I have a goatee too >:o
AnUnknownTipster: well BAHHHH to you tooo HAHAHAHA
Les Waste: I'm gonna post this conversation

[Cap'n Crunch]

He said he was me, you and Milhouse. My money is on Milhouse though. :(

[ScruU2wice]

AnUnknownTipster: S- Scrupilous
c- crucial
r- ridiculous
u- undergarments
U2- Bono
w- welcomed
i- vanilla ice
c- coo coo acoo
e- eggs
ScruU2wice: nice!
ScruU2wice: i couldnt figure on out for C
AnUnknownTipster: WHICH ONE
AnUnknownTipster: lol
ScruU2wice: haha
AnUnknownTipster: hey its Les Faste
ScruU2wice: hey
AnUnknownTipster: W-W-W-Waste
AnUnknownTipster: WWW.myhouse.org
ScruU2wice: way to spam
ScruU2wice: lol
AnUnknownTipster: Spam to way
AnUnknownTipster: shutup you call it a crib
AnUnknownTipster: IM Les Waste and tell him i took his idenity and challange him
ScruU2wice: okay dokay
AnUnknownTipster: hurry
AnUnknownTipster: SN: Les Waste
ScruU2wice: i tried iming him once he wouldnt talk to me
AnUnknownTipster: WELL
AnUnknownTipster: COMEON
ScruU2wice: im talkin, im talkin
AnUnknownTipster: tell him about the challange
AnUnknownTipster: and the brunch at the breakfast nook afterwards
AnUnknownTipster: COMEON
AnUnknownTipster: QUIT SEXING HIM UP, HE WONT HAVE THE WILL TO CHALLANGE
ScruU2wice: i told him
AnUnknownTipster: tell him to IM me PRONTO, and the challange will begin
ScruU2wice: off course it wouldnt make total sense to im him yourself
AnUnknownTipster: that would be shellfish
AnUnknownTipster: Selfish
AnUnknownTipster: Mellon Lellon Po Pellon
ScruU2wice: the message has been sent
ScruU2wice: your deed has been done
ScruU2wice: now for my bounty
AnUnknownTipster: MY BOUNTY LIES OVER THE OCEAN
AnUnknownTipster: MY POGO CAPNCRUNCH IS ME
ScruU2wice: so im pawn in your overall sinister plan
AnUnknownTipster: POGO YOUR NUTS
AnUnknownTipster: POG-HO
ScruU2wice: pogo is not my fetish
AnUnknownTipster: sodomy is correct
ScruU2wice: how so
AnUnknownTipster: WHAT IT SUKAH
ScruU2wice: sukah, eh... is that ona them jap-a-nese cars
ScruU2wice: why speek you not
AnUnknownTipster: im talking to 10 other jixby wannabees
AnUnknownTipster: settledownNOW
ScruU2wice: am i number 10
ScruU2wice: well
ScruU2wice: y am i not loved :-(
AnUnknownTipster: becaus elover is for lovers not for quitters
ScruU2wice: bah
ScruU2wice: if i wasn't such a quitter id think of a witty response to that
ScruU2wice: got one
ScruU2wice: oh no nevermind
AnUnknownTipster: BY BYE PRISSY PANTS
AnUnknownTipster signed off at 9:53:30 PM.

[Cap'n Crunch]

afterbirthface: who are you?
afterbirthface: WTF
AnUnknownTipster: WHAT THE FRANK?
AnUnknownTipster: i got a million of them
AnUnknownTipster: A CHA CHA
afterbirthface: No you don't. >:[
afterbirthface: Who are you?
AnUnknownTipster: ScruU2wice: am i number 10
ScruU2wice: well
afterbirthface: Are you Milhouse?
afterbirthface: BACKWARDS
AnUnknownTipster: Im Bachalor Number 1 " Im you common jixby phillips character that loves cats and rockin the vote"
AnUnknownTipster: but you do LAVE KATS
afterbirthface: I am a dog person. :rolleys
AnUnknownTipster: and i am a day person
AnUnknownTipster: this conversation is OV-AR
afterbirthface: ******.

[Professor Cool]

This is internet terrorism

AnUnknownTipster: HEY CRACKAH
TheProfessorCool: Good Evening
AnUnknownTipster: Shutup ******
TheProfessorCool: what!?!?!?
AnUnknownTipster: YOUR A LOOSE CANNON BITCH, YOU NEED TO BE SIDE STEPPIN OUTTA HERE
TheProfessorCool: now you see here pal, never in my life have i sidestepped
AnUnknownTipster: DONT BE PLAYIN
TheProfessorCool: Playing what :-(
AnUnknownTipster: THE DATING GAME
AnUnknownTipster: Im a crackah that outta control and i pimpslap tha bitches and hoes
AnUnknownTipster: AND I ROCK YOUR COCK LIKE A FORD SPEEDWAGON

Im taking my AIM icon off, I can't have perndog sending me loveletters anymore

[Les Waste]

AnUnknownTipster: no crystal, just urine
AnUnknownTipster: indian american bum, not white bum
Les Waste: but urine smells like asparagus :-(
Les Waste: loo, that's the funniest thing I've ever said
You know what? That "but urine smells like aspearagus :(" line there, in that context, is the funniest thing ever.

You know what? Fuck you all. Die and burn in flames. >:

[Spooky]

Amen, and may they drown in a bunch of avalanch-dislodged bolders.