What's your sign?

[Geggy]

I'm a Leo.

In Chinese astrology, I'm a Dragon.

Burn, motherfuckers, burn.

[Tropical]

Gemini

Tiger

Siamese Tiger???

[glowbelly]

oooh! a fellow gem! i have 2 personalities. the mean one i named nadine. >:

[soundtest]

http://greetings.yahoo.co.jp/images_card/ykitty/010424/virgo.gif

http://www.newcastlechinatown.co.uk/nct/festival/Mythology_Zodiac_Animals/Snake.gif

edit: fire snake

[Blue]

I am Virgo and rooster. To find out your chinese sign and get an explanation here is a site... EDIT: I am a metal rooster http://www.paranormality.com/birth_sign.shtml

[Professor Cool]

Im a Pisces and a Wood Rabbit

[glowbelly]

imma wabbit, a wood wabbit to be exact.

[Alphonse]

Scorpio. :)

[Supafly345]

Cancer.

I'm a... a rat.

[Jeanette X]

I'm a Taurus, and a water dog. And according to Celtic astrology, I'm a willow tree. My Hawaiian astrology sign is Welo, the wild boar. In Aztec astrology, my day is 8 Mazatl (deer's head), and my week is 1 Ehecatl (the wind). According to Mayan astrology I'm a Red Lunar Earth.
Go here to learn your Celtic sign: http://www.metaphysicalzone.com/celtic/index.htm
Go here for Hawaiian astrology:
http://www.e-hawaii.com/fun/astrology/default.htm
Go here for Aztec astrology:
http://www.maths.uq.edu.au/~mrb/Aztec/
Go here for Mayan astrology:
http://www.icandosomething.com/mayancalendar/default.htm

[Esuohlim]

AQUARIUS
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes
to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-
Mole 17 hours a day

PISCES
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what
those idiots at work say

ARIES
The look on your face will be priceless when you find
that 40-pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a
hickey to Meryl Streep

TAURUS
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna
do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch
of stuff and then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today

GEMINI
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your
explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance
hurls a javelin through your chest

CANCER
The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the
rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while
taking your driver's test

LEO
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and
staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it
down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

VIRGO
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -
except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with
your head impaled upon a stick

That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least
a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets
and the stars could have a special deep significance or
meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let
me give you my assurance that these forecasts and
predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented
evidence, so you would have to be some kind of
moron not to realize that every single one of them is
absolutely true.

Where was I?

LIBRA
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone
much more talented than you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that
when your appendix bursts next week

SCORPIO
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall
screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your
low self esteem, you stupid freak

SAGITTARIUS
All your friends are laughing behind your back...
KILL THEM
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine
you've got hanging in your den

CAPRICORN
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful
person... but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never
never never never never leave my house again

[Cap'n Crunch]

SAGITTARIUS >:

[glowbelly]

According to the Hawaiian Calendar, IKIIKI is the "Warm Sticky Mating Moon" month.

warm sticky mating moon month.

that's all that needs to be said.

[Jeanette X]

According to "Native American" astrology I'm a beaver. Don't you just love they don't specify the tribe or even the fucking region?
Native American astrology
http://www2.itexas.net/~sparrow/nastrology.htm
And in African astrology (no mention of specifics here either), I'm "services to the neighborhood."
http://www.axiconworld.com/products/ap/african/african.htm
Hmm...according to this, I'm "the Flint" in Aztec astrology. Apparently it is a little more complicated than I had thought.
http://www.axiconworld.com/products/ap/aztec/aztec.htm
I'm also Horus in Egyptian astrology.
http://www.axiconworld.com/products/ap/egyptian/egyptian.htm
And finally, I'm Vrishaba in Indian Astrology.
http://www.axiconworld.com/products/ap/india/india.htm

[imported_Hollycaust]

seriously, don't you just hate it when the horoscope hints that someone you dislike is going to die or get knocked up, but doesn't??

[soundtest]

:lol @holly

[Schimid]

VIRGO, DRAGON :eek

[klownboy]

YO YO YO YO YO!!!
THIS IS BLOODY KLOWN BOY UP IN THIS JOINT!!
IM A BLOODY PIECES, AND A HORSE!

PEACE,

KLOWN
BOY

[Mike]

I'm a horse-dude with a bow and arrow and a dog...

Earlier this morning a mexican guy came up to me and said "hey how's it goin essay!". I replied that I considered myself more of a term paper, to be exact.

[Spectre X]

I'm a Capricorn and a Snake in Chinese astrology.

Also, LOL at Milhouse. LOL indeed.

[Perndog]

I'm Frederick the Clown, the thirteenth Zodiac sign who didn't get let into the club because astrologers are superstitious retards and are afraid of the number 13. >:

[Eternal_Champion]

OOh I'm a snake.

[FS]

In cosmological astrology, I'm the space cowboy, yeah. In Scicillian astrology, I'm the gangster of love. In French astrology, I'm Maurrrice.

[Rev. Danno]

No Fatty, you are an Ass Clown...
I am a Wood Hare, and an Aquarius III.
All I really want to be is A Fire Cowboy, and a Unicorn...

[Spooky]

I thought the Steve Miller reference was clever. I loled at it. :-(

edit: it was pretty much because i imagined that noise done with the guitar in the song after he says "Maurice". :/

[Skulhedface]

Taurus, born under the year of the rooster.

Although, if you look at less American websites, they will refer to that as the year of the Cock.

Lord only knows why we Americans would not want people going around talking about the Year of the Cock.

[Jeanette X]

Nobody besides Doopa cares about the other astrologies? After I went through all the trouble of digging them up? Fuck! >:

[soundtest]

whoa you sound like my mom

[Jeanette X]

whoa you sound like my mom
DON'T YOU GIVE ME ANY LIP! I SPENT 15 HOURS IN LABOR WITH YOU YOUNG MAN! >:

[kahljorn]

I'm a leo sun with scorpio moon and a Capricorn rising.

I enjoy long walks along nuclear waste disposal sights when the morning rays of sun are just hitting the smog, it gleamers so slightly off the mutated surfacewith such a beautiful magnificance, you almost expect an angel to rise up out of the sludge-- but rather it's a rabbit mutated with an eagle.

[Dole]

Whats your sign??? THIS ISNT WOODSTOCK.

[kahljorn]

I like the asses in your new avatar.

[Rongi]

I'm an aries and a horse. Nay :(

[Jeanette X]

I'm an aries and a horse. Nay :(
You're also a dick for not bothering to look at the other astrology links. >:
Fuck all of you. You don't appreciate me. :tear

[Comrade Rocket]

My sign is "Do Not Enter"

im so sorry :(

[kellychaos]

http://montgomery.cas.muohio.edu/meyersde/Humor/+SIGNS/Slow-Children-No-Hunting.jpg :lol :lol :lol

[Perndog]

What kellychaos isn't telling you is that his parents put that sign up to protect him.