jesus saves!

[Sergeant_Tibbs]

http://objective.jesussave.us

just thought everyone should see this.

[Big Papa Goat]

Savatage! :rock Music Forum! >: :(

[Perndog]

Logic dictates that if evolutionism is true and the eye was built incrementally over time from nothing to its present state of functional wholeness, then it must have at some point in the past been only half of an eye.

Only a moment's thought on this supposed ancestral eye lets us see that there would be problems: How would this eye be moved in its socket if it wasn't a smooth spherical shape? What would stop the seepage of light through the top? How would the lens keep from being deformed if it was not held equally on all sides? How would the eye jelly have kept from spilling out of the opened bowl of the half-eye?

LOL

This is a creation scientist mocking the ridiculous assertions of "evolutionists" - he is being completely sincere. I used to think these fundamentalists were just a little nuts. Now I know they're absolutely stupid. There are a thousand different ways I could make fun of this article, but none of them is really necessary in the face of the utter, almost painful idiocy of the whole thing.

The people on this website just lowered my average opinion of humans by about 5%.

[Sergeant_Tibbs]

I forget about the gem of the entire site, the pages meant for children: http://objective.jesussave.us/kidz.html. Here it states that dinosaurs are not dead, and that if you don't belive in god you drink too much coffee and hate everything.

[Jeanette X]

Dinosaurs are "gentle behemoths"?
I want a pet velociraptor. :(

[Dole]

"if you don't belive in god you drink too much coffee and hate everything."

Frighteningly accurate.

[Perndog]

Hey, I don't drink coffee, and I don't hate everything. Just everyone. ;)

[Spooky]

http://objective.jesussave.us/halloween.html

FUNNIEST PAGE EVER

edit: if i was a hacker, this page would be defaced right about now. :(

[Bennett]

share your faith with carved vegetables. :lol

[Spooky]

the guestbook is damn funny, too, its a bunch of goth kids going "LOL GOD SUX U ARE ALL GAY"

:(

I added something to it, initially. I was hoping it was full of people saying things like "thanks for the great site! praise jesus!"

but my hopes were crushed. >:

[Stabby]

This website has got to be a joke. Right? :(

I mean, just look at their Zounds Youth Rock Ministry (http://objective.jesussave.us/zounds.html) page.

http://objective.jesussave.us/fhoskins.jpg
Fred "Skeet" Hoskins? Lead Singer?
"Shouts out to OBJECTIVE: Ministries"???

They want to change the flag to put the word "GOD" on it?? (http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyflag.html)
Please tell me this is a joke site...

[Crimson Ghost]

Can jesus kill my boss? Please....

http://objective.jesussave.us/antitriclavianist.png

[Rez]

I LIKE THE LINK THEY GIVES.

this is our internet >:

[Spectre X]

everybody in favour of blasting the stupid out of the universe say aye.

AYE!

[FS]

It's got to be either an elaborate satire, or a site by people who're looking for exactly the kind of responses they're getting.

Jesus Himself preached to the whores and money changers, the very people most in need of his Love. These unsaved trick-or-treaters - innocent children tricked by secular society and their non-Christian parents into participating in occult rituals - are exactly the ones in need of the Good News of Christ. And there they are, right on your door step!

They're comparing children to whores :lol

[Rez]

the fratelli gang are jersk >:

[AChimp]

I think this is a joke. It seems a little far-fetched that people could get all up in arms about how many nails they stuck in Jesus.

Wait, nevermind. :(

[Immortal Goat]

Question number one:Deat God in heaven, is it truly possible that there are people out there that can blatently ignore the facts that science provides us and say they believe in a book that is mostly fiction?

Question number two: Why isn't this thread under the Philosophy/sociology/RELIGION/news/etc. forum?

[Bennett]

question no. 3: does a moment go by when you don't attack christianity? I don't believe in it either, but you blasting your science this, christians are so stupid bullshit is just as bad as the bible thumpers, so drop it.

question no. 4: ya' think it's a joke?

[Jeanette X]

They want to change the flag to put the word "GOD" on it?? (http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyflag.html)
Please tell me this is a joke site...
The current Flag of the United States of America (for the benefit of non-Americans and poorly educated Public School graduates). While beautiful, an ignorant foreigner might mistakenly suspect we were Astrologists or some sort of Stripe Fetishists instead of proper Christians
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

[Immortal Goat]

Were you talking to me, Bennet? Because if you were, then you obviously did NOT read my post. Nowhere in it did I attack the whole of Christianity. I have no problem with Christianity, and many of my friends are Christian. What I DO have a problem with is when people are purposely ignorant of what has been proven to be factall for the sake of keeping their faith. If there faith depends on following the bible word-for-word, then their faith is not strong, but rather the reverse. They find comfort in the words of the Bible, fine, but to lock yourself away within it's contents is nothing but ignorance. They fear the truth just as they fear hell.

I like Christians, I like Christianity. I do NOT like ignorant people, and that is what the people that wrote that article are. The book of Genesis was invented for the same reason that ALL mythology was invented. To explain what could not be explained. Now that there is science, the book of revelation is no more factual than anything you would read in a High-School mythology book.

[kellychaos]

Congrats! You've just turned a thread that was making fun of a website into something that SHOULD be on the philosophy forum. :irony

[Bennett]

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=3993

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=4505&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=50

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=6282

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=6268

you have some issues with religion, which is fine, but the way in which you engage in discourse about it is not. There are things that will never be explained. Personally, I find it hard to believe that people believe in the things they do. But I do not believe that it is EVER my place to say that it is stupid to believe in something.
(which in essence you did by saying: "there are people out there that can blatently ignore the facts that science provides us and say they believe in a book that is mostly fiction? "

People have faith in certain things... and if I choose to tell them that they are stupid I am just as bad as that asshole that comes up to me while I'm smoking a cigarette at the bus station and asks, "Do you know if you're going to heaven when you die?"
I Lie and tell him that I am because I've accepted Jesus Christ as my savior... He's happy to have come across another good christian brother and I'm happy that he left me alone.

Regardless, this website is a joke (literally).

goddamnit can we move this thread now?

[Rez]

"Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence?


Teens:
Called "Mall Rats" in their nihilistic Secular culture, they can often be found hanging around malls after public school doing nothing constructive. Teens paradoxically desire to be "different" but also to fit in. Use this contradiction to your advantage by pointing out how all the people around them are "tools to Secularism" while offering them the chance to join in the Love of Christ. Emphasize "coolness" of Jesus and offer "Radical Salvation". Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets.

[Mockery]

http://objective.jesussave.us/jesusolantern.jpg
"Share your faith with carved vegetables"

I guarantee you, if any pumpkin was going to be smashed by yours truly on Halloween, that one would be the #1 on my list.

"Hand out Bible tracts not candy"

These are EXACTLY the kind of people that I absolutely despise.

[Bennett]

Bible tracts in my candy would warrant a return trip to that house...

there's just something about the line: "share your faith with carved vegetables" that is grotesquely funny... ever see the Roberto Benigni scene from "before night falls"?

[FS]

Emphasize "coolness" of Jesus and offer "Radical Salvation".

I can so imagine a guy dressed up in a badly fitting neon-colors jogging suit littered with buttons, telling people what a "hep cat" Jesus is and occasionally taking out his pocket jive dictionary to throw in some new terms.

[Rez]

i like this one better
http://objective.jesussave.us/johnbaptist.jpg
"BOO! I'm John the Baptist, and these are my many exciting exploits..."

sad thing is... i di dress up as john the baptist when i was in 4th grade... i couldnt run very fast so tag sucked, and i had a paper bag...

so the next year i was a woman, w/ a nice dress, lipstick, earrings, and had a purse.

now i carry a shot glass.

[Drev]

THat John the Baptist pic could be photoshopped for super happy fun time! :)

But don't expect me to do one. :(

[Perndog]

I almost feel dumb for taking so damn long to get the joke.

This is quite possibly the most elaborate parody I've ever seen. There are things on that site that are very obviously not sincere (look at pastor's corner), yet most of the members have e-mail addresses @youthpastor.org and stuff like that (along with one at occultmail :rolleyes). It almost seems as if half the site is real and half of it is a parody, like some guys hijacked it or something.

Unreal.

[Stabby]

I almost feel dumb for taking so damn long to get the joke.

This is quite possibly the most elaborate parody I've ever seen.

I think you're right. I found this on bouzou.com:
Creation Science Fair: Hoax or Real?

Is this site, Creation Science Fair, an elaborate hoax in the same vein as Penguin Warehouse or Dog Island? The people and places mentioned on the site (Dr. Richard Paley, Marian County, Fellowship University) cannot be found except on this site. It is very, very over the top. Objective: Christian Ministries is the same site that claimed Macintosh computers were satanic. That site also went on a tear about a heresy called triclavianism.

One theory: it is actually a publicity stunt for the parody site, Landover Baptist,. It may also be a troll (as in flamebait). The blog, Lipstick Librarian, gives some of the reasons for thinking it is a hoax. The Mac thing really got some people riled up and Applelinks Web site presents evidence of the site's bogusness. About.com has checked in with its opinion of the site's hoaxicity. I did not find anything on the Web that corroborated that Objective: Christian Ministries was in fact, authentic.

Contagious media? Parody? Flamebait? If so, it is a pretty good job. And a more than a little bent and dark.



It has to be a hoax. A VERY well done hoax. I can breathe a sigh of relief now knowing that my Halloween won't be tainted by finding Bible passages in my Kit Kats.

[Rez]

wow... that was extremely well done... i even sent off a few emails noting how the elephant does a seig heil... and the game theory is full of crap...

[Immortal Goat]

Although this IS an elaborate and very well done hoax, there is a bit of sad truth to the matter. There ARE people like that out there. I can't even take a shit in a public restroom anymore without the words "If you were to die right now, would you go to the Kingdom of Heaven?" in my face. For the love of FUCK, do I need to think about that while I am lightening my load? When I am in there, I think of cleansing my BOWELS, not my SOUL!!!

[FS]

Fucking get over it.

[kellychaos]

"Hand out Bible tracts not candy"

These are EXACTLY the kind of people that I absolutely despise.

Where are bible tracts in relation to apples with inserted razor blades on the Halloween hierarchy?

[Spooky]

http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif
http://objective.jesussave.us/godlyusflag.gif

[glowbelly]

i have a belt buckle:

http://glowbelly.homestead.com/files/i-1.jpg

[soundtest]

that is one of the coolest belt buckles i've ever seen :eek

[Spooky]

belt buckles are for kids who listen to saves the day and dashboard confessional. :(

[glowbelly]

i'm 28 and don't know either of those bands. now what, fucko?

[Immortal Goat]

You're 28?! :eek

[kahljorn]

"This will help create in the child a positive association with Christianity, countering the anti-Christian indoctrination rampent in secular society."

Now we have proof they use subliminal messaging and mind control :O

http://objective.jesussave.us/secularbeards.gif
The forces of Secularism just keep trying. It would be comical if it weren't so dastardly.

I so want a shirt like that.[/i]

[glowbelly]

You're 28?! :eek

yes. i'll be 29 in 8 months. that means i'll be 30 in 20 months. did you think noob3 was kidding when he called me "mom?"

[Spooky]

i'll be 19 on halloween. :(

[Drev]

i'll be 19 on halloween. :(

You better get some damn good candy. >:

[Immortal Goat]

http://glowbelly.homestead.com/files/reeses.jpg

It's just that this doesn't seem like something most adults would do...

I SALUTE YOU!!!

[Geggy]

Glowbelly suffers from what's called a peter pan syndrome. Her mind's wandering off in the never never land.

[Perndog]

You liar, glowbelly. You're too hot to be in your late twenties. ;)

[FS]

http://www.fragile-minds.com/fatsatan/sigs/dogflag.gif

[Ghost of Fraiser]

Kanga-Jew :lol

I'm 28 also >:

[kellychaos]

Adults don't eat candy.

[Snatchtastic]

Jesus invented candy.

[kahljorn]

Damn right I did.

[Emu]

Yes, this website is, like Landover Baptist they link to, elaborate satire, according to the people at the Atheist Network message boards.

[Skulhedface]

Jesus Saves...

The rest of you didn't clip your coupons.