What lethal ninja weapon would you like to master?

[HickMan]

Just thinking about what the Ninja Turtles use, I would have to say the nunchaku. Just because they are so graceful, and yet badass.

I saw a pair at Target being sold for three bucks. Yes they are foam, but I'm trying to teach myself how to use them, which is pretty lame but I don't care. I plan on buying some real ones in a while.

What would you use?

[Nerd]

http://www.superiormartialarts.com/wleimages/W420.jpg

I win.

[Professor Cool]

Shirukens I would like to whip those around all day.

[Perndog]

Already working on the nunchaku. I'd rather learn to fight with a sword..so much more dangerous-looking...heheh

[AChimp]

I would like mind powers to make people's monitors explode in their faces. >:

[Anonymous]

Is it worth pointing out that nunchaku aren't weapons that were used by ninjas?

[HickMan]

Hey, I said the Turtles. I didn't know :(.

Plus, I will read the cardboard top to the nunchaku: Ninja Nunchaku

[Anonymous]

Also, it might take a while to kill someone with two small sticks.

[Perndog]

While we're on that topic, ninjas didn't use katanas either, Nerd. >: They used ninja swords, which were straight and shorter than katanas.

[HickMan]

:( I still think they're cool.

[Protoclown]

Samurai are much cooler than ninjas. Ninjas are assholes.

[HickMan]

Let us make this the "Which lethal ninja or samurai weapon would you like to master?" thread starting now.

[Anonymous]

I'd want to master the use of poison. Screw honor.

[AChimp]

How about we just stop posting in this thread and hope it dies quietly with little fuss. >:

[Ninjavenom]

Samurai are much cooler than ninjas. Ninjas are assholes.


Pfft. Samurai were shitty, they unquestioningly did what they were told, be it good or evil. Ronin were worse, they were just murderers and rapists with expensive swords. Samurai sure did look cool, though.

If i were to master a ninja weapon, the very first thing would definitely be the shuko, sose i could climb shit really well. Those are actually tools, but they were pointy enough. Pointy enough to KILL. >:D

[wreckreation]

this thread offends me.
you stupid fucks.
"i'd use the kyoketsu shoge, because it has lots of capability and it works well against a variety of different weapons."

of course I already own one and know how to use it.

[Comrade Rocket]

I'm very good with a Staff, and I can hold my own with nunchaku or a sword.

But the weapon I would want to master is the Triple Irons. I saw someone use some on a documentary on ancent weapons. It was Neato Torpedo.

And the kyoketsu shoge is a stick with a chain, right. I thought it resembled a very crude fishing pole.

[CastroMotorOil]

I'd want to master the ninja sword, simple but damned effective.

[Protoclown]

http://home.swipnet.se/~w-50467/images/peacem.jpg

[ScruU2wice]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/321343/cy015.jpg

[wreckreation]

trigger you moron. You wanna talk the talk but you don't even bother to look on google.
kyoketsu is a ring or chain connecting a knife with a hook jutte and on the other end is a metal ring. It comes from the kumogakure ryu where it was used originally on sailboats in pirate type warfare to slash sails and swing from stuff. I like it becuase I can tie up a sword easy with it and maintain range.

JUST ASK ME HOW I KNOW

[Rongi]

I BET NON OF YOU FUCKS COULD EVEN HOLD A SWORD

[Emu]

I WANT TO DRIVE THE TURTLE BLIMP >:

[-chupapi-]

i would love to use april´s tits as a lethal milk spiter

[Professor Cool]

I BET NON OF YOU FUCKS COULD EVEN HOLD A SWORD

I like my avatar back >:

[Comrade Rocket]

trigger you moron. You wanna talk the talk but you don't even bother to look on google.
kyoketsu is a ring or chain connecting a knife with a hook jutte and on the other end is a metal ring. It comes from the kumogakure ryu where it was used originally on sailboats in pirate type warfare to slash sails and swing from stuff. I like it becuase I can tie up a sword easy with it and maintain range.

JUST ASK ME HOW I KNOW

I think I was asking you what it was like. The one i've seen was a short staff with a chain and in the end of the chain was this two sided sythe thing.

I've gotten in a few Sword fiights but I normally ditch the sword for a staff. What this has to do with anything... I have no idea. I thought I would share.

[wreckreation]

Fights my ass. your biggest fight was with your dick.

"The one i've seen was a short staff with a chain and in the end of the chain was this two sided sythe thing. "
It's not like they vary much. Whatever you saw was not a kyoketsu. Thats like saying i saw a pair of nunchucks but instead of a stick on one end there was a metal ball.
to re-iterate: fights my ass. Maybe you and your kiddie friends play in the back yard and call it a fight. If thats the case i'm sure your "I'm very good with a Staff, and I can hold my own with nunchaku or a sword. " is very credible.

[Comrade Rocket]

I have Scars all over my shoulders and hands. I Assure you that all the fights I have been in were the real thing. It was for fun, but it was real.

[wreckreation]

hahaha you know i am right. You playing "fight club" little boy?
scars just prove you suck anyways. any REAL fight with a REAL sword would result in fatality. any REAL fight with a REAL bo would result in broken bones and missing teeth.

[Comrade Rocket]

We never tried to kill each other. And the reason I have the scars is cuz we taught each other how to use the weapons, and we didnt always know the right way to use the weapons.

I obviuosly dont have the skill you have. And this is a fight I don't really feel like being in. I answered your "questions" so drop it.

[the_dudefather]

i would like to have a large wasp hive fused to my back, or the club from shogun assassin.

or a LEPRACHAUN STICK! leprachuans are ninjas, right?

[Jixby Phillips]

let me know when this thread is open to post in thanks

[Protoclown]

wreck is the only person in the world who knows about martial arts :lol

[Dole]

tell that to this guy:http://www.dfcom.freeserve.co.uk/hbw/images/hkp_fingerwalk.gif

[Dr. V]

While we're on that topic, ninjas didn't use katanas either, Nerd. >: They used ninja swords, which were straight and shorter than katanas.
The ninja sword is called a Bokken.

I would like to master the little poison tipped spikes or the Shuko which isn't really a weapon but a set of claws worn on the palm to climb shit really fast.

[wreckreation]

http://www.redmarcial.com.ar/images/bokken.jpg
these are bokken. they are made of wood. All bokken are made of wood. Ninja's didn't use wooden swords.

[Anonymous]

That is very interesting. So interesting, in fact, that we must now fight with knives.

[Protoclown]

Ninjas may not have used bokken, but they ALL listened to Dokken! :rock


http://www.myrevelations.de/site/gallery/bah/dokken.jpg

[AChimp]

Proto, you have disturbed me beyond belief. :(

AND I LIKE IT. :love

[MK IV]

By ninja sword I think people mean whats often reffered to as a Ninja-to , which is basicaly a long Tanto , made in a similar way as a katana , but folded less and produced more *cheaply* . And uncharacteristic of japanese blades by the fact it was straight and not curved.

[Helm]

In greece we learn to break you with our bare hands >:

And we've been doing it for 3000 years

http://www.sylpher.com/helm/aaanir.jpg

See how that statue is giving it to the other statue? THAT'S the greek way motherfuckers! First you rape the other guy to break his spirit, and then you break his bones for good measure >:

Ninjas ain't got shit on greek homowrestling I tell you.

[kahljorn]

"any REAL fight with a REAL sword would result in fatality."

YEA CAUSE WRECK KILLS PEOPLE ALL DAY CAUSE HE"S A SECRET ASSASSIN THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT AND HE WORKS FOR THE GOVERNMENT AND EVERYTIME HE COMPLETES A MISSION HE POSTS ON I-MOCK HOW HE RAPED A MONK WITH HIS KNEECAP.


I'd like the Si in one hand, and probably one of those stick things in the other. WHat are they called?
Oh well, Si's are cool. I love Si's. I wish I knew how to spell Si. I also wish I knew what the stick things were called, budokain?

I also wouldn't be opposed to a Si and a short sword of some form.. preferably something that can thrusty thrust.

[Spooky]

it's sai.

[Pliers the Goron King]

This thread sucks

[Jeanette X]

I like scimitars.
http://www.bdancer.com/med-guide/images/swords.gif
I'd dance seductively up to my foes, and while their eyes are glued to my whirling sword and swaying hips, I'll chop their heads off before they even knew what hit them.

[Jeanette X]

Double Post.

[wreckreation]

double idiot.

oh kahl. you really got me there big guy.
i've never been in a real fight with a real blade or any real fight with any weapons at all for that matter. I dont go looking for fights except for on the net. Hence i am not dead or dismembered. I never said i'd been in a sword fight. DUH, that shit is dangerous!
lay off the pot.

[MK IV]

This is a Ninja thread Jeannette.
And of course a Ninja's favourite weapon is a scimitar :(

[Professor Cool]

Mk, really how would you know, do you know or know anyone who does know a ninja. If you say yes, your a fucking liar.

I think wreck is the only one who really knows what he's talking about here.

[MK IV]

I know that Scimitars are of middle eastern Origin, and Ninja's are Japanese.
And its quite unlikely for a sword to get imported all that way, especialy seeing as how the only place Iv ever heard of , that shipped swords to japan , was china, and that was around before 8th century AD , after that japan started making there own swords.

[Professor Cool]

I was kidding, GAWD >:

[Dr. V]

http://www.redmarcial.com.ar/images/bokken.jpg
these are bokken. they are made of wood. All bokken are made of wood. Ninja's didn't use wooden swords.
Yeah they did. I've read a bunch of stories about ninja's using both.

[MK IV]

I was educating GAWD :(

[Ninjavenom]

I know a decent amount of crap, but not as much as Wreck does. I've only got a few books about it, more about technique than history. However, i do know enough to know that using a wooden sword would be pretty useless to a ninja. It's too much to carry around, it's ineffective, slow, and useless as a tool. Also, finding a log or a piece of wood shaped into such a way that using it would be akin to a bokken would probably be a far shot from what you'd really find in the woods. Everything they carried had multiple functions, whereas a bokken has only two possible uses: as a crappy staff or a crappy sword.

[Jeanette X]

This is a Ninja thread Jeannette.
And of course a Ninja's favourite weapon is a scimitar :(

I didn't see any objection to Helm's Greek homowrestling. >:

[Spectre X]

Helm is the master of homoerotic funniness. :(


I would like to have a robotic arm that shot donuts and ice-cream and that had a big claw come out of the front.

[HickMan]

Get out of my thread. >:

[Spectre X]

no. I'm sorry.

[Comrade Rocket]

Think of a bokken like this.

It was made of wood so it was cheap. It was lighter than a sword. And sence it broke bones and didn't cut there was no messy blood getting all over and given you away. Also, contrary to popular belife, ninja did make mistakes. And with a sword that didn't cut, they wouldn't have an accident while jumping around.

But thats my opinon.

[kahljorn]

"oh kahl. you really got me there big guy.
i've never been in a real fight with a real blade or any real fight with any weapons at all for that matter. I dont go looking for fights except for on the net. Hence i am not dead or dismembered. I never said i'd been in a sword fight. DUH, that shit is dangerous!
lay off the pot"

Damn.... I thought you were a ninja? You were my childhood hero... I used to believe in you. :wah

[Anonymous]

Box Cutters.

Helps in taking control of an airplane.

[Anonymous]

He's got ya there! :lol

[Anonymous]

Wreck and ninjavenom are full of crap. While swords were commonly used by ninjas in the feudal age, the ninja's most common weapon was the world's first sidearm. The device itself was little more than a crossbow with gunpowder, called a gen bo after its inventor, Genrai Tsubasa. The gen bo was actually a very quiet weapon, as the noise caused by the explosion from the gunpowder was channeled through the device's handle, thus making it difficult to hold onto after firing. As a result, most ninja discarded their gen bo's after only a single use, making very sure to make their single shot count. After shooting, the ninja would break and scatter the remains of the gen rai, thus insuring that the device would never fall into the hands of their enemies.

Today, archaelogists are still trying to determine the exact way that the ninja were able to make this primitive, but remarkable, weapon.

[Anonymous]

Fuck, I want one.

[Protoclown]

http://www.redmarcial.com.ar/images/bokken.jpg
these are bokken. they are made of wood. All bokken are made of wood. Ninja's didn't use wooden swords.
Yeah they did. I've read a bunch of stories about ninja's using both.

COMIC BOOKS DON'T COUNT :lol

[wreckreation]

full of crap?
ha.
Yeah i know all about that. Thats why japan made firearms illegal and got so far behind on the technology curve until the west forced them to open up. But don't say that I am full of crap on something i spend 4 nights a week doing just because I didn't mention something.

[wreckreation]

oh i forgot about this
"It was made of wood so it was cheap. It was lighter than a sword. And sence it broke bones and didn't cut there was no messy blood getting all over and given you away. Also, contrary to popular belife, ninja did make mistakes. And with a sword that didn't cut, they wouldn't have an accident while jumping around. "

swords have scabbards, so the user doesn't get cut while moving around. bokken are usually heavier than swords to provide better training for the user. Plus, without the benefits of a blade why wouldn't they just use a hanbo or something? Why go through the trouble to use a piece of wood the way you'd use a sword when it's not a sword?

[Bennett]

you spend four nights a week assuring you'll never get laid?

[kellychaos]

I thought that scabbards were used mainly to protect the blade's edge and finish.

[wreckreation]

lol i NEVER get laid. :(



The scabbards also make a tight friction lock on the blade. They won't just fall out.

[Bennett]

I don't know shit about all this... don't some scabbards actually kept the blade's edge sharp? Or is that bullshitlie.

[wreckreation]

I don't think that they sharpen the blade, but keeping it out of air contact will keep it from oxidizing and dulling a bit. It's good to keep it put away.

[Rongi]

I STAND BY MY ORIGINAL STATEMENT :|

[Anonymous]

full of crap?
ha.
Yeah i know all about that. Thats why japan made firearms illegal and got so far behind on the technology curve until the west forced them to open up. But don't say that I am full of crap on something i spend 4 nights a week doing just because I didn't mention something.

You're right as far as the Japanese ban on firearms, but the role of the west is slightly different.

You see, when the westerners first arrived in Japan, their own weapons bore no competition for the ninja gen bo. At the time, there was a leader of a clan of ninja named Kenji Amano. Amano was a young man when he came into the leadership, and as a result, he sought a way to quickly expand the power of his clan in any way possible. His method of choice: sell the secret of the gen bo to the westerners.

The westerners were initially slow to trust Amano, as they had all heard tales of the treacherous ninja soon after they had arrived in Japan. They finally gave in, however, because they were intrigued when Amano demonstrated the power of the gen bo to them, and they needed the technology to improve upon their own rifles.

Amano was ousted from his clan soon after it was discovered that he sold the secret of the ninja's prize weapon to the foreigners. The details of his removal are unknown, and Amano himself was not heard from again. The westerners, hearing of Amano's death, claimed that their weapons were of technology from their home countries, since there was no one left that would refute their claim.

[HickMan]

http://cartoons-etc.com/cowboys.jpg

[wreckreation]

i guess amano san told you that? :P


lets just end this.
the larger mortars were called "ohzutsu", and the hand cannons were "sodezutsu". The europeans had knowledge of rifling by 1498 and european firearms were introduced to japan in 1543. Ninja firearms at the time were not much more than hollowed out tree trunks and wooden tubes. Definitely no rifling. So there was no technology exchange from japan to europe, but the ninja did learn fast and advanced their firearms quickly.
so is this gonna come down to our sources?
it's a bit lame that you'd learn( or attempt to learn) so much about a subject without actually bothering to study it in the physical sense. Whats the point of studying the history of an art without studying the art itself?

[Mockery]

I study martial arts and I have a lot of fun with it. I'll eventually choose some weapons to learn, but I'm more interested in mastering fighting without any weapons at all. It just seems a lot more practical since I don't forsee myself walking around town with a katana in hand anytime soon.

[wreckreation]

sticks, rope, knives, loose change, keys, chains, blunt objects etc.
ALL PRACTICAL

not to mention what you learn about unarmed combat from fighting with a sword. You get WAY better at evasion and distance. You learn the mechanics of different types of weapons and can apply it to unarmed situations. Overall, training with a bunch of different weapons and the right attitude allows you to improvise anything as an effective weapon. Few people really think they will need to know sword fighting to get in a sword fight.
What do you study anyways? Is it a practical art?
I thought you did it for exercise.

[HickMan]

Nunchaku are portable, but thats obvious. I carry my (padded) ones wherever I go for some reason. :/

[wreckreation]

prolly cuz you are a fag.

[HickMan]

SO>:

[Mockery]

What do you study anyways? Is it a practical art? I thought you did it for exercise.

Naturally I do it first and foremost for exercise such as stamina, muscle gain, and improved flexibility. I sit behind a computer 90% of the time so it's great for that. But I've always been fascinated with martial arts and I really enjoy sparring now. As for weapons being practical, like I said, I'll learn them when the time comes that my teacher brings it up. Right now I simply want to focus on the training without the use of weaponry. I have enough to learn in that arena as it is...

As for having the "right attitude" as you put it, you seem to be highly critical of anybody who even mentions martial arts... almost as if they're not allowed to talk about such things around the almighty Wreck. You come off way too i your face and egotistical about it.

Relax.

[Cap'n Crunch]

THE WEAPON TUM TUM FROM THE 3 NINJAS HAD.

[wreckreation]

FUCK YOU ASSHOLES YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING >:>:>:


no duh. it's i-mockery so i mix my personal beliefs with an asshole attitude. i pretty much respect anyone who does martial arts as long as they aren't in it just to fight.

[Anonymous]

i guess amano san told you that? :P


lets just end this.
the larger mortars were called "ohzutsu", and the hand cannons were "sodezutsu". The europeans had knowledge of rifling by 1498 and european firearms were introduced to japan in 1543. Ninja firearms at the time were not much more than hollowed out tree trunks and wooden tubes. Definitely no rifling. So there was no technology exchange from japan to europe, but the ninja did learn fast and advanced their firearms quickly.
so is this gonna come down to our sources?
it's a bit lame that you'd learn( or attempt to learn) so much about a subject without actually bothering to study it in the physical sense. Whats the point of studying the history of an art without studying the art itself?

You know what? I think it will come down to sources. Who would feed you such nonsense about ninja-kind?

Now, me, I've laid out the bare facts for all to see.

[wreckreation]

masaaki hatsumi
17th soke of takagi yoshin ryu
26th soke of shinden fudo ryu
14 soke of kumogakure ryu
28 soke of kukishinden ryu
14th soke of gyokushin ryu
34th soke of togakure ryu
28th soke of gyokko ryu
18th soke of gikan ryu
18th soke of koto ryu

he is the grandmaster of bujinkan.


now what are your sources?

[Protoclown]

And I said that ninjas all listen to Dokken and that's true too you know

[DJ Potatoe]

I once new a guy named: Stealthy Howard-The Neon Ninja.

He was so good at sneaking up on you, and in any condition and wearing any color....not just black. So, to prove himself, he started wearing multi-colored Gis. He was sooooo good too....just about anywhere...even with neon pink (Chojin's fav color) on he could put a stop to villainy in the worst ways.

Stealthy Howard, I'm going to write about you in my "..And That's My Hero" essay in school this week.

[Anonymous]

masaaki hatsumi
17th soke of takagi yoshin ryu
26th soke of shinden fudo ryu
14 soke of kumogakure ryu
28 soke of kukishinden ryu
14th soke of gyokushin ryu
34th soke of togakure ryu
28th soke of gyokko ryu
18th soke of gikan ryu
18th soke of koto ryu

he is the grandmaster of bujinkan.


now what are your sources?

My main source is an account written by one of the few survivors of a ninja raid in which the weapon was used. The man in question was Sota Tanaka, a noteable citizen from Edo.

The account of the westerners recieving the gen bo technology is from the journal of a minister who was with them when they first arrived in the country, a man by the name of Joseph Edenborough. We've been reading the entries in my Japanese History class.


I don't know about your source, though. It sounds to me like you're just making up names to support your case.

[Mockery]

I once new a guy named: Stealthy Howard-The Neon Ninja.

Sorta sounds like this guy (http://www.i-mockery.com/stories/ninja.htm)

[Zhukov]

So what type of martial arts do you do?

[DJ Potatoe]

No way man! Stealthy Howard was unbeatable by any martial artist. Not even Godzilla could punch a hole in his rectum. I have photographic proof. As soon as I get Chojin to scan the pictures, I'll hook ya up.

[wreckreation]

Man boogie, if you even just typed masaaki hatsumi into google you'd find an overwhelming amount of info on his credibility. The notion that i'd "make up" a name to support my case makes me really question if you know ANYTHING. Look it up, he is the number one source on anything ninja related. Also, your sources are not ninjas, so anything they say is gonna be biased by all the myth surrounding ninjas. I'd never believe what some gentleman says about what he sees when he isn't involved. Hatsumi has scrolls documenting all the methods ninja used and a lot of the history. This isn't even mentioning that maybe your class could be wrong. I sure know i've caught my teachers on wrong stuff.

making up names. give me a fucking break.

[kahljorn]

SELLING YOUR SOUL TO SATAN? HOW CAN I JOIN?

[kellychaos]

The dreaded Ninja cock-ring used during anal torture. It's just ... insidius. :eek

[HickMan]

Sorta sounds like this guy (http://www.i-mockery.com/stories/ninja.htm)

I AM NOT GOING TO READ THAT.

[Wiffles]

The best ninja weapon is those foot spikes that you drop on the ground, great for running away from your enemies ^^

[soundtest]

I like KellyChaos now :)

for real

[Ninjavenom]

Caltrops are as lethal as a pie tin.

[MK IV]

You could always coat them with poisen , or let them go rusty and hope someone catch's tetnus .

[wreckreation]

just look at the dates. when did your account happen?
the edo era began in 1603 so thats 60 years for the ninja to take in european firearm technology.

[mburbank]

nerd

[Krythor]

I'd like to master the Frai Pen Pon, an ancient Japanese blade used only by the elite order of ninjas. My teacher has showed me a few deadly moves with it, but he has warned me that it is not to be toyed with. It was made famous during the early 18th century by Kien Shih, who was hunted down and assasinated after he was involved in a scuffle with the brother of a rival ninja master and pushed him down a flight of stairs, snapping his neck and killing him.

http://www2.rpa.net/~cheesbro/betleh.jpg[/img]

[Anonymous]

Krythor stole my schtick.

[Krythor]

Whatever could you mean?

[wreckreation]

"Frai Pen Pon" isn't even a japanese word. c'mon guys :rolleyes

[Bennett]

yeah, that's like so klingon on an' shit :rolleyes

[wreckreation]

c'mon boogie just admit you are wrong!


it's ok to be wrong sometimes but it is important that you are a big boy and take responsibility. :(

[MK IV]

http://www.copperlily.com/scarletinside/Images/WorfWill.jpg

[Anonymous]

c'mon boogie just admit you are wrong!


it's ok to be wrong sometimes but it is important that you are a big boy and take responsibility. :(

You're still hung up on that whole thing, aren't you?


Alright then, for wreck and the other two people who haven't figured it out yet, I've been making everything up. Frankly, wreck, I expected you to be the first one to say "ah, gen bo. Good one, boogie. Ass." Instead, you actually bought all the fake crap I was spewing out as a joke, to the point where I have to broaden the story to include the testimony of a priest regarding ninja technology, which I very much enjoyed. And no, I'm not taking any classes even remotely connected to Japan.

And then I started practically begging you to call me as a liar, saying that your famous guy wasn't even real. Come on, who would question your obsessive knowledge of martial arts so brazenly, and without even doing a quick Google check?

Still, it was fun while it lasted. My advice to you, wreck, is to lighten up about this stuff.

Don't take this the wrong way, but you are the Vincezeb of martial arts.

[Anonymous]

So, wait, where can I get a Gen Bo? I want to learn how to use one.

[FS]

You should be a professional hustler, Boogie.

[Protoclown]

So wait...you're saying Klingons are ninjas? And would they listen to Dokken?

I don't get it.

[Bennett]

Klingons + Ninjas = Dream Warriors = Rokken w/ Dokken

[wreckreation]

whatever boogie. Just admit it lol :rolleyes
your japanese class sounds really bad. do you go to COMMUNITY college? :rolleyes
"japanese culture through anime"

now you try to make up this clever ploy crap so you won't have to admit you DON'T know it all.

[Anonymous]

whatever boogie. Just admit it lol :rolleyes
your japanese class sounds really bad. do you go to COMMUNITY college? :rolleyes
"japanese culture through anime"

Actually, I did take that class once. They opened up a dictionary to "baka," and there was a picture of you.

[wreckreation]

ohh good one :rolleyes

just admit you were wrong and i'll shut up lol.

i bet baka isn't even a real word.

[jin]

I actually do JPN123 "Japanese Culture through Manga".

HehaEhhhehaE

[Anonymous]

Wreck, buddy, relax.

Listen, I'm sure you know more than I do about this kind of crap in general, but you need to accept that I tricked you. It's ok. Just let this thread slide off the boards, and no one will remember it.

[wreckreation]

oh "crap" now huh?

just admit that you are wrong. it's that simple. But instead you'll be a baby and TRY to play it off like you knew you were wrong the whole time. IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE WRONG WHY WOULD YOU POST?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I thought my reason for posting was already made clear:

I did it because I find you to be far too serious about martial arts, and pretty much anything from the Far East, so I figured I'd make some hokey story about ninjas using guns for their silent takedowns. Then, you went along with the idea, so I figured I'd expand upon the story by inserting an unbelievable passage about ninjas seeling their technology to people from the west, wondering the whole time when you would catch on.


You see, we do that here at I-Mockery.com. We play little jokes on each other. I know this one wasn't of the same calibur as some of the more recent ones on the boards, but it was a joke all the same.

If it will make you feel any better, the next time I tease you with a fake story, I won't try to come up with semi-realistic names. My ninjas will have names like Lord Perriwinkle, and there'll be leaders like Shogun Pineapple Upside-Down Cake. Of course, you'll still accuse me not of making a fake story, but of being misinformed about history, but everyone else, having read this thread and drawn their own conclusions, will know better.

[Protoclown]

Boogie, you need to give yourself more credit. This is on of the finest jokes I've ever seen pulled on anyone on the boards. He bought it hook, line, and sinker. Bravo, man. Bravo.

[wreckreation]

"ninjas using guns for their silent takedowns."

Ninjas DID use guns! obviously it wasn't silent but who says ninja are always silent?

YET ANOTHER ERROR BOOGIE :rolleyes

[Anonymous]

"ninjas using guns for their silent takedowns."

Ninjas DID use guns! obviously it wasn't silent but who says ninja are always silent?

I did. That was part of the joke that you walked into. Ninjas using guns for their silent takedowns.

[Protoclown]

OMG WRECK YOU SHOULD RENT A STEAM SHOVEL SO YOU CAN DIG YOUR HOLE FASTER :lol

[wreckreation]

Ninjas didn't even kill people a lot. Most of the time they were more than happy just getting information. God boogie you're an idiot. :rolleyes

HOW ABOUT A BLOWGUN TAHTS A SILENT "GUN"?

[Anonymous]

You are so cute when you're angry, wreck.


Still, you're wrong about ninjas not killing people. While it is a well-established fact that ninjas were skilled at information retrieval, there were some sects that were far more skilled at assassination. For instance, the Perriwinkle clan of Kobe were trained almost exclusively in the deadly arts. The leader, Shinichi Pineapple Upside-Down Cake, maintained that the goal of the ninja was to strike fear into the hearts of their foes, and that information-gathering was beneath them.

[Anonymous]

I would reveal both jokes being played in this thread, but it'd end the discussion and lower the amount of good topics in GB.

[kahljorn]

I think instead of telling him you were joking you should've mentioned that the ninja also invented the silencer in 200 ad. Of course, they didn't have guns for it yet, so they put the silencer on their swords. NO MORE SWOOSHING NOISES.


"Ninjas didn't even kill people a lot. Most of the time they were more than happy just getting information. God boogie you're an idiot. "

That's why they used Bokken swords! So they could knock them out then drag them to a pub and use tickle torture.

[The_Moderator]

Chojin, this is a warning; Stop post-whoring.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, my apologies.

[Protoclown]

I would reveal both jokes being played in this thread, but it'd end the discussion and lower the amount of good topics in GB.

I only see one joke around here, and it looks like it's on YOU! You've been moderated! Booyah!

[Dole]

There was a joke?

[wreckreation]

"For instance, the Perriwinkle clan of Kobe were trained almost exclusively in the deadly arts. The leader, Shinichi Pineapple Upside-Down Cake, maintained that the goal of the ninja was to strike fear into the hearts of their foes, and that information-gathering was beneath them."


well now you're just joking around :rolleyes

[HickMan]

I'M SORRY, GUYS FOR MAKING THIS THERAD.

[Anonymous]

"For instance, the Perriwinkle clan of Kobe were trained almost exclusively in the deadly arts. The leader, Shinichi Pineapple Upside-Down Cake, maintained that the goal of the ninja was to strike fear into the hearts of their foes, and that information-gathering was beneath them."


well now you're just joking around :rolleyes

Now you're getting it! I should have made those concessions a long time ago.

[wreckreation]

what concessions? that you don't know anything about ninjas?
:rolleyes or is this all part of your elaborate scheme to cover up still for you being wrong?

[Anonymous]

what concessions? that you don't know anything about ninjas?
:rolleyes or is this all part of your elaborate scheme to cover up still for you being wrong?

I was referring to the concession that I would no longer try to use semi-real names when creating mock stories to tease/bait you.

This oversight does explain why it was so easy for me to trick you, as you clearly aren't reading most of my posts to begin with. Open your eyes, my lad. You'll find a myriad of jokes that you would have otherwise missed, like the one that was played on you in this thread.

[wreckreation]

whatever fag, you're still skirting the issue. The issue that YOU WERE WRONG.
Just admit it dude. you'll look A LOT less stupid.

[Anonymous]

whatever fag, you're still skirting the issue. The issue that YOU WERE WRONG.
Just admit it dude. you'll look A LOT less stupid.

And now the gaijin is calling me a fag.

No, wreck. It was a joke. You see, after the first post in my story about the gen bo, I recieved an email from Ninjavenom in which he indicated that he knew the whole thing was a ruse. I told him that since you were buying into it (possibly because you took it personally when I said you were full of crap when it came to your favorite subject), I would continue to elaborate on the story until you figured it out on your own, or until the game ceased to be interesting to me.

When I pointed out that Krythor was "stealing my schtick," I saw the thread slip off the front page, and I thought it was because you saw that post and understood exactly what I was getting at, and had refused to dignify my ludicrous story. Instead, still upset that your pride had been wounded by me saying that you were full of crap, you revive the topic in an attempt to make me say that I was wrong, in order to raise your flagging self esteem. Well, I'm sorry, wreck. The truth is the whole thing was a joke from the very beginning. You're a board veteran. You should realize that, even though it isn't the trend these days, it is possible for someone to be facetious and sarcastic without the use of the eye-rolling emoticon.

Edit: not zhukov, dammit! Krythor!!

[wreckreation]

HAHAHA

whatever you wanna think is fine by me. Let's see what ninjavenom has to say about this.
But when he has no clue what you are talking about you'll have to admit that you were wrong and give up this petty attempt to save your ass.

The simple FACT is you thought you had me but you turned out to be wrong and can't lose like a man.
I'm VERY surprised by this. But never again.

[Dole]

Carry this on for 6 more pages, its great.

[kahljorn]

I hate Dr Boogie so much. I hate you so much, hate you so much, hate you so much, hate you so much.



IS IT A JOKE OR NOT? WILL THEY DISCOVER IN TIME TO SAVE THE WORLD?

[Anonymous]

HAHAHA

whatever you wanna think is fine by me.

Um, then why did you resurrect the topic and demand that I say that I was wrong?

Let's see what ninjavenom has to say about this.
But when he has no clue what you are talking about you'll have to admit that you were wrong and give up this petty attempt to save your ass.

I do hope that he does. Not so much because I believe that the evidence will shut you up, but because the resulting rant by you trying ever more desperately to save face will provide further discussion, and will bring more reading material to everyone who is enjoying our argument in this thread.

The simple FACT is you thought you had me but you turned out to be wrong and can't lose like a man.

Wreck, please. We've covered this before. The simple fact, at least from my point of view, is that I played a joke on you and you are outraged that you fell for it, and are hoping that I will invalidate the joke by saying that I wasn't making it up, and that it was all serious stuff.

As far as losing like a man, I'd say that you're losing like a man, in that you're trying your very best to avoid admitting that you made a mistake.


Am I right ladies?

[Dole]

There is realistically only one way to settle this: FOXY BOXING

[Anonymous]

There is realistically only one way to settle this: FOXY BOXING

I'm saving that one for sweeps week.

[Zhukov]

Krythor stole it.

[Anonymous]

Ah yes, my mistake. Looks like we both missed that one.

[Ninjavenom]

I think Wreck is right, Boogie, you're just covering up because you obviously spilled information out of your filthy, lying stinkhole. Just admit you were wrong and stop the cover-up already, you jerk.

[wreckreation]

YEAH "gaijin" >:

[Anonymous]

YEAH "gaijin" >:

Hey, I was going to say "otaku" at first, but I figured I'd cut you some slack.

[wreckreation]

so are you gonna apologize and admit you're wrong or what? :rolleyes

[Protoclown]

Okay, not only has the dead horse been beaten, but it has been buttfucked and beaten and buttfucked some more.

[Anonymous]

Okay, not only has the dead horse been beaten, but it has been buttfucked and beaten and buttfucked some more.

You and your horse metaphors...


And wreck, you are so cute.

[HickMan]

I'M SORRY, GUYS FOR MAKING THIS THERAD.

>:

[Les Waste]

This is the best fucking thread ever. I'm in love with this thread. I want to elope with it.

[soundtest]

http://www.geocities.com/guail0/japanesesgoillslayer.txt

[Ninjavenom]

I love that animation more than life itself, you know that?

[kahljorn]

Serious, that's better than like half the animes I've watched in my lifetime.. which isnt saying much.

[Drev]

Those girls were still good for fucking. :(

What a waste killing off good vaginas. :(

PS: I fucking loved watching that.

PPS: I just remember the vaginas are still intact. :necrophilia

[Nerd]

Someone should use that for their sig.

[*GeekHardCore*]

Nerd intestines make a great weapon on the go .
There suprisingly solid due to all the Bran they eat.

[Bennett]

I happened to watch it while listening to Interpol's PDA, and it was perfectly in sync. :)

[wreckreation]

This thread is far from dead.

I'm still waiting you stupid homo. >:

[Anonymous]

As am I, nerdo.

[wreckreation]

LOL you answered to "stupid homo".
What the fuck is your problem boogie? Still broken up over some pointless ninja trivia? It's ok that you got it WRONG. Just don't try again.

No wait, do try again :lol

[Anonymous]

LOL you answered to "stupid homo".

Ouch. It seems I've fallen victim to your rapier wit. I figured you were referring to either me or Protoclown, and he didn't trick you with some fake ninja story, so that left me.

What the fuck is your problem boogie? Still broken up over some pointless ninja trivia?

I'm not the one who revived the thread.:)

[wreckreation]

oh right. you'd rather let your embarrassment slip into archives.

YET you still try to hold on to the pathetic "I knew i was wrong :troutslap " bit.

[Anonymous]

oh right. you'd rather let your embarrassment slip into archives.

It's funny that you should mention that, as I fully intend to put this thread into the Thread Backups forum once you're done with it.

[wreckreation]

I'm GLAD >:

SO then everyone can see how sore a loser you are >:

so lets end this right. You apologize and then i'll say something funny.

[Anonymous]

It will take more than me "apologizing" before you post anything funny, wreck.


By the way, you're still wrong. By now, everyone has made their decision on the matter, and it's pretty much just your obsessive desire to get me to say that what I posted was no joke.

[wreckreation]

whatever fag. I think everyone knows whats REALLY going on in here.

You're a whiny baby who can't admit he's wrong so has to fabricate stories to keep your online ego intact and you have to back it up with make up asian slang and stuff to make the idea that it was all a big story more plausible. However the truth remains that THIS IS NO JOKE >:

[wreckreation]

A FEW MORE THINGS >:

PROTO: What the FUCK did you think you were doing posting in MY Ninja thread? Did you really think boogie was right and I was wrong about stuff pertaining to NINJAS??? Give me a fucking break. Next time you get involved MAKE SURE YOURE RIGHT!

Boogie: Nice try to "forget" about Ninjavenom's reply, BUT IT WONT WORK! He CLEARLY said I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG.

here it is again for you to see
I think Wreck is right, Boogie, you're just covering up because you obviously spilled information out of your filthy, lying stinkhole. Just admit you were wrong and stop the cover-up already, you jerk.

NO DENYING IT NOW ASSHOLE!!!

[HickMan]

YOUR NINJA THREAD?! NU-UH GIRLFRIEND. I'LL SHAKE MY HEAD AND MOVE MY FINGER LIKE A GHETTO BLACK TEENAGE GIRL IF YOU SAY THAT AGAIN. >:

[wreckreation]

STAY OUT OF THIS AMATUER

[glowbelly]

i know nothing about ninjas, so i have no opinion about anything. i just wanted to post in this thread because it's big and i like big things.

[Mr. Vagiclean]

I would LOVE to master the ninja's ability to jump tree to tree, swoop down on innocent forum bitches and fuck em in their mouth 50 HUNDRED times while you search the google for ancient weapons, then get away with the speed fast enough to wipe the ninja juice off of your teeth

Oh yeah and the shurikens, and the bitchin mask

[wreckreation]

so did the Kukishinden ryu of nunjutsu. All their weapons were huge and heavy and metal plated to destroy armor.

[HickMan]

STAY OUT OF THIS AMATUER

http://www.blackwomeninsport.org/bwsf2001/images/Rochelle.jpg

Pfft. Nu-Uh! I'll pretend yo didn say dat. I'm betta den yo so I'll jus' smile an' act like a bitch. >:

NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP.

[wreckreation]

you win. :(



SEE BOOGIE I CAN ACCEPT DEFEAT AND NOT WHINE ABOUT IT LIKE A LITTLE BABY! >:

[Ninjavenom]

so did the Kukishinden ryu of nunjutsu. All their weapons were huge and heavy and metal plated to destroy armor.

Oh shut up Wreck. They didn't do anything with shuriken that couldn't be solved with a rock to the cock. They were as effective as school children. The Kouryougetsu Clan were the real man's ninja.

[wreckreation]

1) I WAS REPLYING TO GLOWBELLY'S QUERY ASSHOLE >:

2) You're just acting stupid to immitate boogie >:

why don't you call me some made up Asian phrases :lol

[Anonymous]

whatever fag. I think everyone knows whats REALLY going on in here.

You're a whiny baby who can't admit he's wrong so has to fabricate stories to keep your online ego intact and you have to back it up with make up asian slang and stuff to make the idea that it was all a big story more plausible. However the truth remains that THIS IS NO JOKE >:

Once again, that is quite an ego you've got there, wreck. It occurs to me that you are incapable of even imagining the scenario that I've laid out, one in which you are wrong. That ego of yours is part of the reason I set out to make the story. I knew, if nothing else, that saying that you were full of crap would be an affront to your hubris, and would cause you to jump into the anal rampage that you are currently in the middle of.

Boogie: Nice try to "forget" about Ninjavenom's reply, BUT IT WONT WORK! He CLEARLY said I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG.

here it is again for you to see
Quote:
I think Wreck is right, Boogie, you're just covering up because you obviously spilled information out of your filthy, lying stinkhole. Just admit you were wrong and stop the cover-up already, you jerk.


NO DENYING IT NOW ASSHOLE!!!

Hahahahaha!!

You are a gem, wreck. I almost want to point out that he was kidding, but I know that you'll just accuse me of being wrong again. Of course, you'll be obligated to call me gay again, which I believe constituits sexual harrassment if you do it one more time.

The best part about is that I know ninjavenom is enjoying this far too much to step in and say anything. God, you are a tool, wreck.



Edit: Alright, wreck, I know of a very easy way for you to escape from this bog you've mired yourself in. After a couple more posts, just say that this whole bit, you acting like a pompous jackass for the past few pages, was just a joke, your way of getting back at me for the joke I played on you. I'll say "well shucks, you got me, wreck," and we can go our separate ways, and this thread can go down in history as the closest you came to having to admit that you were bested in the field of knowledge that you'd like to consider yourself an expert in.

[wreckreation]

STUFF IT, GEEK

[Anonymous]

TOUCHE! NOW WE MUST DANCE!!

[Sicktodeathmx]

http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Facts:

1. Ninjas are mammals.

2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

[MrAdventure]

*whimper*

[eggyolk]

http://www.realultimatepower.net/

Facts:

1. Ninjas are mammals.

2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.

3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

>: