My girlfriend of 2 1/2 just dumped me for no reason.

[Dr. V]

I feel like I want to cry and and sit motionless at the same time. I don't know what I feel actually. Pretty numb. I don't expect your guys' sympathy. I even expect to be called an emo pussy or something. I just wanted to type it all out so I could arrange my thoughts. Whoever mods this board can delete this if they want.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

did she even say why? just gave you the old "it's not you, it's me" speech

[Terra]

When I dump a boyfriend of a deeply close and committed relationship and he asks why, I always say

"IT's NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS!"

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I think I told the last girl I dumped that I hated her.....I believe in honesty >:

[Matt Harty]

Has she told you why yet? Normally it isn't for no reason but something they've had built up for quite a while and they never felt comfortable telling you, not even after they dumped you.

You're a pussy/emo because you refer to yourself as one.

If she won't explain things, and you're really confused just post how the relationships was going the past few months leading up to this. Tell some kinda story cause you aren't being very descriptive.

Oh and don't go like... killing youself or anything like that. But you have clearance to cry because 2 1/2 is a pretty long time.

[Perndog]

So she was 2 1/2 years old or 2 1/2 feet tall (or meters? if you're Canadian or something)? I'm confused.

[CaptainBubba]

Sucks dude. Sucks. Sleep with her friends before she sleeps with yours GO NOW TIME IS WASTING SHE IS ONE STEP AHEAD ALREADY MAKE HASTE.

[Guitar Woman]

I think "emotional shock" is the term you're looking for. Get some sleep if you can, and when you wake up you'll feel way better.

Also, avoid dwelling on this as much as possible later, that just makes you feel terrible again.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

I feel like I want to cry and and sit motionless at the same time. I don't know what I feel actually. Pretty numb. I don't expect your guys' sympathy. I even expect to be called an emo pussy or something. I just wanted to type it all out so I could arrange my thoughts. Whoever mods this board can delete this if they want.
Bummer, man. Dont worry, though. Compared to most of the threads in this section have been mostly shit for the last few weeks, this topic's pretty decent.

[noob3]

don't cry dude it's not like there isn't any puss left in the universe unless you're ugly and then you got problems man i'm sorry ugly boy

[MattJack]

Women are fucking crazy dood. How old are you? If you are lyke under 65 then you should just sweat this broad.

My advice:

1. Don't talk to anyone about this, just bottle it all up inside of you with all your other problems.

2. Drink yourself to sleep at night.

3. Get you a fat girl or ugly girl (but don't tell yer friends!) and bone her like she's that girl from Myth Busters.

4. Grow a mustache to show your ex you mean business now.

5. Repeat steps 1-3 until you feel better about yourself and life in general.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

I concur. Alchohol is good.

[MisSFiT]

Well, whatever you do don't become a atalker/physco and call her 25 times a day crying and/or showing up coincidentally where she is.
Are you guys young? Did you spend alot of time together? If so maybe she just needs space and her own freedom for ahwile. If that's what she needs then leave her be. You never know what could happen in the future. In the meantime go out and HAVE FUN!!

[Matt Harty]

Dr. Volsh did you kill yourself :(

[mischief]

nobody ever breaks up with you for "no reason"
you're either really dense or in deep denial.
it's been a couple of weeks since you posted that so maybe you're back together, but i say if she wants you back you tell her to fuck off.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

listen to Mischief....

[AChimp]

I demand an update on this issue.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you forgot this >:

[Terra]

That's right! >:

Listen to Cos!:)

[HickMan]

But you have clearance to cry because 2 1/2 is a pretty long time.

MAN LAW NUMBER 85.

There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.

So, sorry buddy, no crying. Hey, she dumped you.

[MetalMilitia]

I cried when ET dies in the film ET (although it turned out he didn't really die, he was just faking it or something. Either way he went all white). That should probably on the list.

[Sethomas]

Oh, and the soprano aria in the Introit of Mozart's Requiem.

[Guitar Woman]

Little girl's dead dad level in EBA. ;_;

[HickMan]

NO! NO CRYING ALLOWED YOU PANSIES!

[MLE]

i got a little sniffly at that too GW ;<

[Emu]

EBA = ?

[MLE]

Elite Beat Agents for the DS.

One of the best DS games out there by far.

Sucka.

[Sticks]

EBA is awesome right now, along with the Taiko for the DS.

Go shit on the girls porch imo. =0

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Explaination time.

[AChimp]

This thread is stickied until we receive an update!

[AChimp]

It's also because I'm too lazy to keep coming here and looking for it. :(

[Emu]

Well why don't we just sticky EVERY love thread :rolleyes

[corpexec44]

she may have seen you digging your hand in your asscrack to often. remember that in your next relationship dr volshurawitz.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

That made me lol.

Someone send him a care package or something to make him tell us plz.

[Sacks]

MAN LAW NUMBER 85.

There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry.
1. He is hit in the genitals with anything traveling over 10mph.
2. Your date is using her teeth.
3. Anna Kournikova gets married.

So, sorry buddy, no crying. Hey, she dumped you.

4. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v161/Sacks/thesaddestpictureever.jpg

[mischief]

that's the most depressing shit i've ever seen sacks

and we still need to know what happened!

[zeldasbiggestfan]

:tear

Man.

[Slinky Ferret]

Those pictures are really sad. :(

[Kant spelz]

Those pics made me lol irl.

[Sacks]

Then you have a terrible sense of humor, or there is an inside joke going on with you about dogs looking or laying down.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

so, what is the latest here? What the fuck, you know?

[zeldasbiggestfan]

YEAH! >:

[Guitar Woman]

He isn't going to tell us, guys, stop caring

[Emu]

I hate this thread because of those dog pictures. Stop making me look at them.

[Guitar Woman]

I was gonna make a crack all like MAN SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO GADZOOKS but then I decided that would be rude

[Asila]

This whole thread is like a bad French movie. It's really depressing and I'll never get to find out what the fuck actually happened.

[Spetsnaz]

Be a man you fucking pussy! Fuck her sister for revenge!

[Sacks]

Evil Dead you are not very good at looking at post dates!

[Spetsnaz]

I stand humbled indeed!

[Chojin]

To be fair Loveline in general gets as much action as a member of Brawl Hall.

[Spetsnaz]

I've been reading through Loveline and it seems to be the best of the threads so far.

[Sacks]

To be fair Loveline in general gets as much action as a member of Brawl Hall.


HOYOOOOO!

[notworthit]

i myself got dumped by my gf after 3yrs or so. actually she just dumped me today for the 20 th time in 2 or 3 months. i told her im fine with it and now she wants me back. forget that! im done with that childish crap. just ignore her she will come back to u. dont contact her in anyways just ignore her for awhile and she will come back. mine always did!

[Tadao]

who are you talking to?

[Colonel Flagg]

:lol

[Zomboid]

Didn't the OP come back recently? I DEMAND HE FINISH HIS STORY!

[bigtimecow]

the first 5 or 6 posts in this thread are extremely heart warming :)

[kahljorn]

the end of the story is that he stole wreck's ex girlfriend and married her!

at least i think it was this dude :O

[Chojin]

no, that was rev danno

[Dr. V]

Hey guys. Just wanted to come back and say hell no I didn't kill myself. I was really devistated though.
I actually was extremely embarrassed I even posted this and never read it again, assuming everyone just went off on a tangent about how I was fat and gay looking.
As for what happened, she eventually called me one time begging me to come back and I totally shot her down. I stayed single for a while, just getting to know myself. I eventually accidently met a girl through church in Oct of 2009. May 8th will be our 1 year wedding anniversary. Thanks for the support everyone. I never realized I had it.

[Fathom Zero]

Holy shit. Happy endeengs

[Zhukov]

Not with the church involved it's not.

[Tadao]

Can fat gay guys marry each other where you live?

[Dr. V]

Can fat gay guys marry each other where you live?

In california, yes. Better get out here before they take it away again.

[Pentegarn]

Hear that Tadao? Better get out to where you already live :lol

[Tadao]

:eek

[Dr. V]

Hear that Tadao? Better get out to where you already live :lol

West Hollywood?

[Tadao]

Castro ;) :wank :love

[Dr. V]

That's hawt.

[Pentegarn]

Castro ;) :wank :love

:lol

[Dr. V]

Also, I'd like to add that several weeks later she sent me an email that she had cheated on me with eight seperate men, multitudes of times. One was married. In my defense this was a long distance relationship and I didn't see her but every few weeks.

Slut.

[Pentegarn]

Statistically one has a better chance of hitting the lottery than of making a long distance relationship work

[Dr. V]

As I look back I wonder why I didn't break it off sooner. I could have had a much better 2 1/2 years.

[Pentegarn]

I've been there once upon a decade ago, I wish i hadn't wasted the time I invested into mine either.

[Schimid]

wait, you were with someone for two and a half years, then she dumped you, and now you're married to someone you only knew for seven months prior?

boy oh boy, i can't wait for next year's installment of this thread!

[MLE]

:like

[Pentegarn]

wait, you were with someone for two and a half years, then she dumped you, and now you're married to someone you only knew for seven months prior?

boy oh boy, i can't wait for next year's installment of this thread!

Wait, you find it physically and mentally impossible to wait for the next year's installment of this thread?

[ThrashO]

Holy fucking shit stains. I don't know what's sadder, this guys first post or his second.

[Dr. V]

wait, you were with someone for two and a half years, then she dumped you, and now you're married to someone you only knew for seven months prior?

boy oh boy, i can't wait for next year's installment of this thread!

Everything's great. Hope it lived up to your expectations.

[Dr. V]

Update: I hope the wait was worth it.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

How about now? Update your thread, for gods sake! >:

[Tadao]

Did you IM him? I think he might get an email. :eek

[Cosmo Electrolux]

no...I guess I could. We'll see what happens.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

message sent. I'll drop by in a couple of years to see what he said. :|

[Tadao]

I wonder what church they met at? Was it Scientology? Was it the church of the subgenius? Is he mormon and can have more than 1 wife? Maybe satanic and they already sacrificed their first born. :eek

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I'm an ordained Subgenius minister...

Whoa...he could be on that sister wife show....:x

[Tadao]

Are you really? I suppose it's just a form and a fee.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

it was about 15 years ago...and no form, just a fee. I coughed up my $30 so I'm no longer pink in Bob's eyes.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Well, I'm back. Any updates?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

anything? anything?

[Esuohlim]

Dr. V died in his sleep after a five-month battle with cancer you shithead

[Dr. V]

I'm a daddy.

[Dr. V]

Oh we had another one.

[Esuohlim]

Yeah I procreated too :(

https://i.imgur.com/7GWlE86.jpg

[Tadao]

So what's it like. You know. Having sex?

[Esuohlim]

gross :x

[zeldasbiggestfan]

We're all getting old, what the fuck man

[Tadao]

ZBF still can't understand the basics like, fitting in, how time works, how GW is really is a 15yo girl and basic hygiene.

[Nick]

Still?

[Dr. V]

You guys want pictures, ok fine sheesh!
https://i.imgur.com/JEX6r6L.jpg

[Dr. V]

So what's it like. You know. Having sex?
It's a lot like watching the news.

[Tadao]

Fake banter that leads to a frantic screaming, then disappointment followed up with a food segment?

[Dr. V]

Fake banter that leads to a frantic screaming, then disappointment followed up with a food segment?

That plus a looming sense of knowing you're being lied to.

[Dr. V]

What are you guys up to? My oldest just started 1st grade and my youngest just started pre-school. I'm closing in on 40!

[Esuohlim]

My oldest started kindergarten and my youngest just turned 2, I'll be 35 in a month, and in six months I'll have had been registered on this message board for 20 years.

I remember when I was the biggest virgin on I-Mockery, and, arguably, I still might be :(

[LordSappington]

I remember when I was the biggest virgin on I-Mockery, and, arguably, I still might be :(

NOPE THAT'S ME
I mean I'm not a virgin, but I haven't dated in years