Things I just found in the attic of my new house

[Evil Robot]

Photographs of the previous residents child being born (from what I gather it was a C-section).
Bissel carpet steamer
Awards from some dart league at a cop bar down the street
An acustic guitar missing two of six strings. It's a "Sekova"...Never heared of it.
A locked toy chest which I could not open but clearly has something inside it.



I am excited about this "guitar" more than anything.

[Obscurus Lupa]

If you find a corpse in the toy chest, get out of there.

[MetalMilitia]

My guess is the box contains something spooky. Possibly haunted Lego or a haunted monkey hand.

[Sethomas]

Haunted POGs, perhaps?

[MLE]

i loled at you, sethomas

[JediScum]

I bet the toy chest is locked because it full of German leather daddy poo-porn. That and a Grover puppet.

[Sacks]

Leather daddy poo-porn has an awesome ring to it.

[Zbu Manowar]

Attic? Locked chest?

If you see a weird little puzzle box in there, run like hell.

[JediScum]

"Photographs of the previous residents child being born (from what I gather it was a C-section)."

So were these actual pics of the C-section being performed or was it a lady in bed with stitches, holding a bloody baby and giving the camera a thumbs up?

[Sacks]

Why hasn't Evil Robot been back with more information :<.

[JediScum]

For real, man. What's in the goddamn toy chest?!?

[Obscurus Lupa]

Mogwai.

[Jeanette X]

A locked toy chest which I could not open but clearly has something inside it.
I am excited about this "guitar" more than anything.

I'd be more excited about the locked toy chest. Have you tried picking the lock?

[Fathom Zero]

Have you tried sledgehammer?

[McClain]

Seriously. If I had a locked chest in my attic I'd exhaust all means to get that thing open. Haven't you seen Goonies? Do you not know what kind of relics are found in attics?

[MarioRPG]

I think the box was actually the Ark of The Covenenant, hence the lack of the response.

[Dr. V]

Evil Robot died again?

[Evil Robot]

OK, I just climbed back down from the scuz and spider filled attic with the following news about the ordinary toy chest:

1) 3 pairs of assorted childrens gloves.
2) Polyester witches hat.
3) Polyester witches robe thing (like the one from the Abu Grhaib photos).
4) One pair ice skates, size 5.
5) Small stuffed whale.
6) The broken off tip of the screwdriver I used to pry the box open.
7) An old cheap camera with no film in it.



Very uneventful I would say, but on the plus side I discovered a hollow spot in the concrete floor in the basement while building a workbench. We cut about 6" into the cement to discover that there is an inexplicable layer of brick embeded in that portion of the floor only. My guess is that somebody filled in an old sump for no good reason, this was an old school septic cistern, or ITS FILLED WITH ME GOLD!!!!!!!

[Obscurus Lupa]

Did you save the camera?

...cause I want it.

[Evil Robot]

You can have it if your sleep number is less than 40.

[DeadKennedys]

My credit score happens to be 720. Do I qualify?

[Evil Robot]

OK, so I just ran a 6" inch long 3/16" carbide bit into the suspect spot on the floor and after 4" or so it just dropped right in and there wasn't any dirt on the bit when I pulled it back up. Theres a bonified hollw spot down there.

[Fathom Zero]

Place to hide the bodies from now on?

[Guitar Woman]

Why would you abandon such an awesome house

[Jeanette X]

OK, I just climbed back down from the scuz and spider filled attic with the following news about the ordinary toy chest:

1) 3 pairs of assorted childrens gloves.
2) Polyester witches hat.
3) Polyester witches robe thing (like the one from the Abu Grhaib photos).
4) One pair ice skates, size 5.
5) Small stuffed whale.
6) The broken off tip of the screwdriver I used to pry the box open.
7) An old cheap camera with no film in it.


Why would somebody go through the trouble of locking that?

[Sacks]

Because someone could cut themselves on those skates!

[MetalMilitia]

...or put the witches cape on a prisoner and take pictures.

[Evil Robot]

Guitar Woman, does the SCARABA, BITCHES mean Scarborough, Westchester?

[DuFresne]

If so, have you been to its fair? :lol


Edit: Dammit! I should have said "Are you going to its fair?" FUCK

[Guitar Woman]

Scaraba would be the fictional town in the Super Nintendo role playing game EARTHBOUND that contains horrible racial stereotypes of middle-eastern people and has really awesome music

[Emu]

That game stereotypes white people