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View Full Version : Canzo Empyrean


JediScum
Jan 14th, 2008, 04:12 PM
www.canzoempyrean.com (http://www.canzoempyrean.com)

Has anyone else seen this shit? I found out about it 2 years ago, but other than the trailer-filled website, I can not find any news about this. I guess it's a film... I'm just wondering if it was ever finished and released.

"Have you ever had your mouth FUCKED... with a straight razor?!?" - Zartan

"But I like kissing..." - Destro

JediScum
Feb 27th, 2008, 05:53 PM
Thanks for the help with info on this movie peeps!

Someone, with no previous posts PM'd me about this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6a7B-UQA80 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6a7B-UQA80)

Tadao
Feb 27th, 2008, 06:14 PM
Maybe they can help you find someone who gives a shit.

JediScum
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:02 PM
Maybe... but have you ever seen any of this stuff? WAAAAYY better than any thing Hollywood is offering.

And apparently, WikiPedia don't give a shit either... Nothing on "canzo empyrean" or "Fornal Films"

Dr. Boogie
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:02 PM
You asked if anyone had seen/heard of this movie, and you got no responses. Were you expecting a lot of "no, I haven't seen it" posts, or what?

Tadao
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:10 PM
:lol

JediScum
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:23 PM
I really don't know what I was expecting... I just threw the addy out because it a) seems like something a few people here might enjoy and b) I was wondering if this was ever actually made into a movie, as last I heard until today was nothing.

Sorry, no blame... but I was excited 2 years ago about this.

Edit - Among many other things, Destro is Emperor of the US and Zartan is uh.... well, when he tried to get help, he was in a rap band.

The Baroness is in the movie also. But no other references to Hasbro product.

Tadao
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:32 PM
Stop defending yourself :)

JediScum
Feb 27th, 2008, 08:42 PM
That's it! I'm telling!

MOM! ALICE! Greg, Peter and Tadao are drilling a hole into the bathroom wall again!

Girl Drink Drunk
Feb 27th, 2008, 10:22 PM
That bat thing on the front of the main page looks like a gummy snack.

JediScum
Feb 27th, 2008, 10:31 PM
Click on gummy snacks.... report back when you see "trailer" of the Baroness and Destro (mostly Baroness) torturing a man to death.

Dr. Boogie
Feb 28th, 2008, 12:10 PM
Youtube is blocked here at work. How about you try describing this movie that you love so much? You haven't done much to describe it thusfar, and what you have said makes it sound like Turkish GI Joe.

Grislygus
Feb 28th, 2008, 01:28 PM
I've seen Turkish GI Joe. He and his unit were fighting the cowardly American soldiers who were working in conjunction with an evil organ-harvesting Jew doctor.

I'm not kidding. I don't think he was actually called GI Joe, but still.

Dr. Boogie
Feb 28th, 2008, 05:03 PM
I'm not talking about Valley of the Wolves (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493264/).

JediScum
Feb 28th, 2008, 08:10 PM
I would love to describe it... but there is SO MUCH! And i'm not really sure it's a movie... The "trailers" have been around for two years and Wiki has nothing on this

Alright....

Ten years in the future, America is ravaged by the AIDS virus. Millions are dead and more are dying. The government has no cure other than "Don't have sex". People riot when they even think there is a cure.

Terrorism is also on the rise... led by a faction that calls itself "BRUXSA"

And a male porn star named Shammy Marone is sent to prison for having sex with a Senator.... on film. In prison, he writes a book of hedonist philosophy called "The Philosophy of 'HOT TUB'".

The leader of BRUXSA has the cure for AIDS. This leader is a Scottish Laird named Destro. Destro cures millions and usurps control of the US. He read Shammy's book.

The US is now a hedonistic dictatorship led by Destro. Everything's cool for about ten years until....

ZARTAN

And that's all I'm gonna give ya

Dr. Boogie
Feb 28th, 2008, 08:13 PM
Wow. It could just be the way you told it, but this movie sounds really stupid.

JediScum
Feb 28th, 2008, 09:12 PM
I'll take it over Nacho Libre any day

Fathom Zero
Feb 28th, 2008, 09:13 PM
No one should EVER have to make that choice.

CanzoHarry
Feb 29th, 2008, 08:36 AM
Hello JediScum and new friends,

This is Harry in Liberia. I having trouble with my other account so I starting fresh. I'm glad you enjoying the movie. I hear it is coming to U.S. soon. The folks who watch it here some are getting crazy from it. I'm not joking you. They watch it once a day like church. Don't worry I'm fine even though I watch it 18 times! I telling you there is a gang in WestPoint (area of Monrovia) where some of them wear Destro masks they make. They get lots of respect but they are too wicked some times. For the rest of you it is better off you don't watch I think it is too wicked for you. It is more than what you see.
God Bless you all from Harry

Odium
Feb 29th, 2008, 09:33 AM
Hello JediScum and new friends,

This is Harry in Liberia. I having trouble with my other account so I starting fresh. I'm glad you enjoying the movie. I hear it is coming to U.S. soon. The folks who watch it here some are getting crazy from it. I'm not joking you. They watch it once a day like church. Don't worry I'm fine even though I watch it 18 times! I telling you there is a gang in WestPoint (area of Monrovia) where some of them wear Destro masks they make. They get lots of respect but they are too wicked some times. For the rest of you it is better off you don't watch I think it is too wicked for you. It is more than what you see.
God Bless you all from Harry

See, to me this is funny. Thanks CanzoHarry! I too want watch movie and getting crazy!

Tadao
Feb 29th, 2008, 12:46 PM
Hello JediScum and new friends,

This is Harry in Liberia. I having trouble with my other account so I starting fresh. I'm glad you enjoying the movie. I hear it is coming to U.S. soon. The folks who watch it here some are getting crazy from it. I'm not joking you. They watch it once a day like church. Don't worry I'm fine even though I watch it 18 times! I telling you there is a gang in WestPoint (area of Monrovia) where some of them wear Destro masks they make. They get lots of respect but they are too wicked some times. For the rest of you it is better off you don't watch I think it is too wicked for you. It is more than what you see.
God Bless you all from Harry

First of all, See how much better white text is...

And nice try Jedi, no one gives a shit about your little movie.

JediScum
Feb 29th, 2008, 04:56 PM
That wasn't me. That is person with bad English who PM'd me.

If it was me, i'm sure i'd make some kinda reference to Sex Pistols or Mister Bungle,

Or the Olsen twins because they are... uh, nevermind. I wouldn't fuck the Olsen Twins with Destro's dick.

CanzoHarry
Feb 29th, 2008, 05:26 PM
Tadao,
I see by your picture you like to use hurt things smaller than you. I laugh for the people of the soft world whoi joke about violence. You obviosly don't know anything about true violence over here You will always have more than I do but you know in your heart your world and your heart is made of paper. I write to JediScum to help him but you think it is a joke
SO write more clever insults but know in your heart that you are a coward. 5 minutes in the streets of Monrovia you on fire baby boy
I am finshed writing for this page. Canzo Bye Bye
Harry

Tadao
Feb 29th, 2008, 05:54 PM
Hahaha, another fan!

I'm sorry, I'll send a bag of rice next week, maybe you can trade it and get your daughter back. I'm not sure if you still have both hands to carry it so I'll put a handle on the bag.

Dr. Boogie
Feb 29th, 2008, 06:20 PM
Hey Harry, I got your email about your crown prince needing to transfer some money out of the country, but I'm afraid I just can't help you right now. Please ask Jediscum for his banking information.

Tadao
Feb 29th, 2008, 06:39 PM
I bet crazy Harry would give this movie two thumbs up if he could.

Tadao
Feb 29th, 2008, 07:03 PM
Hey Harry! I know you only have 1 hour at the internet cafe to commit identity theft, but I really enjoyed your summation of my life. You have touched this paper heart. Please reply when you can and I'll send you 12 Cents a day. I've never owned a a human before and it's all the rage in my country.

JediScum
Feb 29th, 2008, 07:10 PM
YO! HARRY!

Whup me up a toasted bagel with cream cheese...

(looks at Tadao and Dr.Boogie)

MAKE THAT 3 BAGELS and tell Mel to kiss mah grits... NOOOOTCH!!!!

You ever watch "Alice"?

That shit was funny as hell...

Zomboid
Feb 29th, 2008, 11:21 PM
(high fives jediscum)

Tadao
Mar 1st, 2008, 03:01 PM
(nut kicks jediscum)

Fat_Hippo
Mar 2nd, 2008, 03:13 PM
(low fives JediScum's nuts) How you like that?:yum

darkvare
Mar 2nd, 2008, 08:08 PM
you guys are nasty and gi joes were cool 10 years ago

Tadao
Mar 3rd, 2008, 05:13 PM
Hey Harry!
I saw you log in the next day. I have even given you time to reply. Now I am calling you out for the coward you are. I bet you hide in the shack with the women while the real men are parading in the street, machetes and heads held high. Do the women comfort you and tell you that someday you might become a warrior? I doubt it, I bet they make you cook the food while they drool over the real men in the streets. What gang did you join?

Westpoint
Organization of
Monrovians
Against
Manhood

I knew I smelled a coward.

CanzoHarry
Mar 5th, 2008, 11:24 AM
The god's have blessed me! I am coming to Americain in 2 months! And you my dearest and cleverest brother we shall meet!

I will be staying on the East coasts in New York City! I am staying on Jerome Avenue in Bronx with my couisins. I am so happy and am so blessed. My first time in USA

I can not wait to witness you courageousness first hand my dear brother

Everyone on the site tell me that you think this brave man should meet old CanzoHarry in person in a place where it is just the two of us

This shall be so grand.

Where are you living and what is your name man? Wait und relax I understand your power comes from your anonomous my brother. SO please send it to me in Private Message. This is not for benift of all these people and your imaginary pride on i-Mockery.com. This is benifit for you when you are alone and there is no one to impress. This is for your own soul. My word I keep your information for myself. I would dare not cut your locks mighty Sampson.

Everyone give Tedao lots of respect:rock He going to meet Harry!

This place is make believe
land of masks
I liberate you my sweet wife

I teach you play blood fire:bestthread

I will have car

Grislygus
Mar 5th, 2008, 01:45 PM
Harry, I'm putting you on my buddy list, that's how awesome you are.

Tadao
Mar 5th, 2008, 04:32 PM
You're such a puppet Harry. Dance for for me.

Tadao
Mar 5th, 2008, 04:51 PM
Let's see... after you threaten me with violence, I believe your next move is to call me a coward? Harry, you're running in circles. You've done this the first time, and again in your second post.

This is a huge compliment. I shall wear you like a crown. Very few people get a threat that someone is going to fly over from another country and take time to fight them.

Grislygus
Mar 5th, 2008, 05:35 PM
I think that happens every five seconds on the internet, chump.

But CanzoHarry has style, he has flash, and I think he's got what it takes







To got to your house, eat your children, kill your women, burn your fields, rape your horses, and take your stock options

All of which I want pictures of, Harry. Don't let me down.

Tadao
Mar 5th, 2008, 05:54 PM
What color lipstick are you going to wear to meet Harry?

Tadao
Mar 6th, 2008, 05:04 PM
Ok Harry, I will dumb things down for you. I am now a Japanese Yakuza! Yay!!!!

I will fly you out to Japan. I need to pick up a new batch of whores anyways. Is blood fire available on Wii? Oh yeah, you don't have things like electricity and toilets. Please keep you infected blood away from me, I don't care how many virgins you raped, it isn't a cure for Aids.

Edit : As far as giving you my name...

Why don't I just give you my credit card and social security #'s

CanzoHarry
Mar 8th, 2008, 09:38 AM
Grislygus
I must apologize for my wife. So times she speaks out of turn. I hope you are not offended by this. I will not let you down. EVER
Tadao
As for you my dear. It gives me pain to see you in strugle. No matter how many times you change your avatar and speak to shock your impact on i-mockery is gone. You have an oppurtunity to meet CanzoHarry and give credit to all the things you've ever written on i-Mockery forum, yet you refuse. I never said violence. I just want to sit you down watch Canzo Empyrean and then teach you to be a good wife. perhaps I even take you back to Monrovia and show you off.
that is all
I am very sad for you now
Goodbye everyone
*I will check my private messages one in a while to see if you become man


'the atavist runs faster on 4 feet'

Tadao
Mar 8th, 2008, 11:33 PM
:lol2

Tadao
Oct 28th, 2009, 06:24 AM
I haven't been deaded yet.