Uwe Boll To Give Up Directing...

[BLEU]

...but only if he gets 1,000,000 signatures.

Source (http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/06/uwe-boll-will-quit-making-movies-with-one-million-signatures/)

Who really cares if a crappy director continues to make bad movies? It all seems like shameless attenion grabbing tatics to me. When was the last time you even thought about Uwe Boll?

[Pub Lover]

Guys, I have a secret to confess, I am really Uwe Boll. :(

And as Uwe Boll I happen to think about Uwe Boll all the Uwe Boll damn time.

[Zomboid]

I was gonna sign it, but it told me that I already did and that I'm signature # 1578 or something :(

[Sam]

I think I have signed this a couple of times. :(

[Fat_Hippo]

58725 Signatures Total

I don't want him to keep making movies, in case he takes a game license for once that I actually care about and makes a movie out of that. I don't ever want to hear the words "Fallout: The Movie - Directed by Uwe Boll" or any shit like that. I just don't.

[MetalMilitia]

I would sign it but I don't want him to punch me with a boxing glove :eek

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

In an interview he stated that he wanted to or was going to direct the Metal Gear Solid movie. I think after hearing such blasphemy Hideo Kojima was going to knock his block off.

[BLEU]

Oooh, yeah, I remember that. He pretty much out and stated that he WAS going to direct a Metal Gear movie, that he'd been sent a script by Hideo. and plans were in action.

Hideo was all like, "WTF. No I didn't."

Uwe Boll is crrrrrazy.

[Fat_Hippo]

Another reason Uwe Boll should stop directing: So he can stop stealing money from the German government with his tax shelter there. The only Reason Boll can even fund his movies is through some tax law to help filmmakers in Germany. It's not like anyone would be insane enough to trust him with their money.

[darkvare]

i'm signature # 70450

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Has anyone bothered to watch "House of the Dead". I just refused when I was the trailer was a bunch of teenagers on an island running around to "Y'all gon make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here" by DMX. Then ended with a Zombie giving some girl a "wet Willie" with his tongue.

We need more votes!

[Pub Lover]

Dude, that movie has tits in it. :eek

[Girl Drink Drunk]

Erica Durance's no less!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dude, that movie has tits in it. :eek


Can't you just find those on the internet though? Same thing with Bloodrayne. I remember there being full on......and then a bunch of crap before and after it.

[Pub Lover]

I think we just have fundamental differences of opinion about what should be in a movie.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Well, I concede there SHOULD be tits in a movie...just no Uwe Boll.

[darkvare]

someone has no word
http://www.movieweb.com/news/89/27889.php

[mew barios]

i can't help but like him. i think if we could hang out then we would totally be buddies and i would be like, follow your dream uwe :o

[WhiteRat]

someone has no word
http://www.movieweb.com/news/89/27889.php

:lol

That video alone makes me regret signing the petition.

[darkvare]

you can sign the pro boll one too lol

[Fat_Hippo]

Oh god..Uwe Boll has got to be the best comedian of the century. I nearly shit myself. Genius indeed.:lol:lol:lol

So, anyone here want Uwe Boll to keep making movies? http://www.petitiononline.com/ub221965/petition.html

Because that speech nearly convinced me, and there's already a whooping total of 747 votes!

[Angryhydralisk]

He's made a movie representation of Postal. Attack of the Show did an interview with him, which was fucking hilarious.

Apparently, Bush and Bin Laden are buddies and some actress gets raped by monkeys. Now imagine someone saying that through a thick German accent.

Besides, if Germany fixes their tax loopholes, Boll's more or less out of a career, since that's what's been said how he gets the money to make his movies to begin with.

[Ant10708]

"You are on your own responsible for not making movies."

compelling argument.

[Fathom Zero]

I want him to make as many movies as humanly possible.

[MadballChibcha]

I don´t care, as long as he doesn´t touch the Zelda franchise, or the Ninja Gaiden franchise, or the Devil May Cry franchise, or any other VG franchise.

UPDATE: I just saw the "anti-petition" video, and man, the term "genius" is quite a relative one...

[DuFresne]

I don´t care, as long as he doesn´t touch the Zelda franchise, or the Ninja Gaiden franchise, or the Devil May Cry franchise

Actually I think a Devil May Cry movie by Uwe would be WONDERFUL :love

[darkvare]

i actually agre with dufresne i mean devil may cry check list
boobies. check
chessy dialog. check
extreme action scenes. check
save the world plot line. check
there all you need for a devil may cry game or movie

[Chojin]

I'd like him a lot more if he'd start starring in his own movies.

[WhiteRat]

I was flipping through channels last night and happened to see Mr. Boll being interviewed on Fox News. He was excitedly explaining the premise of Postal while clips of the movie played. I'm fairly certain that I saw George Bush and Bin Laden holding hands while skipping through a park.

[ElPila666]

I like that movie Postal, and more knowing that Titus brother starrings it, i love that redhead dude he used to maked me laugh on that show

[darkvare]

I'd like him a lot more if he'd start starring in his own movies.

since he used to be a boxer i think he should play little mac from the snes game
edit to white rat: thats the scene in the official movie poster

[Fathom Zero]

I think I'll go see Postal. And I think my expectations will be lived up to quite nicely. Has anyone ever been disappointed by a Uwe Boll movie?

[darkvare]

only jesus

[WhiteRat]

edit to white rat: thats the scene in the official movie poster

If that's the case I'm sure that there will be a lot of diaspointed and incredibly confused Bush haters that will likely see that movie based on the poster alone.

[Roggs]

Has anyone ever been disappointed by a Uwe Boll movie?

I rented Alone in the Dark, not realizing Uwe's scabby, necrotic hand had been involved in the film. When I realized it was a Boll movie, I smited my forehead, but then realized it might stil be worth it as a so-bad-it's-good movie like House of the Dead. It wasn't. Oh God, it wasn't.

By the way, for any people who played the computer game as well, here's a list of things that the movie has in common with the game:

-The title.
-The name of the main character.

That's it. That's all.

From there, it goes on to be two hours of shitty acting (even though Boll managed to get semi-big name actors to sign on) and meandering, pointless plot. Nothing at all redeeming about the movie, it just flat out sucked. That's a phrase that's sort of lost its meaning over the years, but I say again: this movie SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Alone in the dark(movie) is what introducted me to Boll. I think somebody should just cannonize him...right into the sun. I'd stare straight at the sun if need be to track it.

I guess either way Uwe Boll if going to ruin my vision.

[Fathom Zero]

Alone in the Dark was by far one of the best worst films I ever saw.

[Miss Modular]

Okay, I was just reading his Wikipedia entry.

This guy has a doctorate in literature. LITERATURE. How? I bet this guy can't even write a laundry list, let alone a PHD Dissertation. He definitely cannot write a script, that's for sure.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Okay, I was just reading his Wikipedia entry.

This guy has a doctorate in literature. LITERATURE. How? I bet this guy can't even write a laundry list, let alone a PHD Dissertation. He definitely cannot write a script, that's for sure.


He probably got it in Clown College :lol.
Standards are much lower there

[MetalMilitia]

Uwe Boll has challenged Micheal Bay to a boxing match because he "sucks big time", according to a news article I read yesterday. :lol

[Zomboid]

We can agree on that. Uwe is fucking hilarious. While I hope he quits making movies because they're probably in some way damaging to the film industry, I think he's so entertaining that I don't want him to stop.

[MetalMilitia]

Yeah I want Boll to continue making films in the same way I never want Jack Tomson to be dis-barred. They're just like hilarious parodies of themselves these days.

[Miss Modular]

He probably got it in Clown College :lol.
Standards are much lower there

Clown U makes sense, but I'm going to revise my original post.

I'm surprised this guy can READ. That is all.

[darkvare]

lol the fight between boll and michael bay is on
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/211346.html?playlist=featured

by the way is there a way to contact boll personally i want to talk him into making dmc movie

[Zomboid]

:lol he is so fucking nuts. I love this man. Micheal Bay is good at making shitty, big budget movies while Boll is amazing at butchering any video game movie. If they do actually fight, IT SHALL BE A CLASH OF THE TITANS INDEED!

[Fathom Zero]

This is awesome. Only in the world today could something like this happen. Never before.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Horschack vs Screech all over again. I'm assuming this fight will to be on Fox.

[MetalMilitia]

I'm betting Boll has this one in the bag. The last time he challenged someone to a boxing match (some film critic) it turned out he had boxed in a semi-professional capacity for several years before becoming a film director.
The overweight film critic that had never boxed in his life didn't last long.

Needless to say this move by Boll successfully eliminated any criticisms which could be made about his films.

[WhiteRat]

Did anyone even read the update?

UPDATE:
"An administrator on Michael Bay's official forums recently talked to the blockbuster poster boy (currently doing post-production work for "The Horsemen") who denied accepting Boll's challenge, and claimed he'd never spoken directly with Boll in the first place. We can't help but wonder -- is this another publicity stunt for the antagonized franchise-wrecker in light of the May 23 U.S. release for "Postal", or has Uwe finally lost his damn mind? Little from Column A, little from Column B."

[darkvare]

but i want to see a fight but is pretty posible he lost his mind

[Grislygus]

Boll is the best (and only) pro wrestling-style heel the film industry has ever had.
I can't wait for his next response

[Phoenix Gamma]

Stride with give you some gum if you sign it. Because you don't already have a good enough reason to sign the petition, right?

http://movieblog.ugo.com/index.php/movieblog/more/stop_uwe_boll_and_chew_gum/

Hooray for pandering to people for publicity.

[Miss Modular]

Is he trying to get "Artsy" on us now? And what the hell is Dave Foley doing in this?

http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/movies/23post.html?ref=movies

May 23, 2008
Anarchy With a Short Attention Span

By NATHAN LEE
Published: May 23, 2008

Infantile, irreverent and boorish to the max, “Postal” (http://movies.nytimes.com/gst/movies/movie.html?v_id=352906&inline=nyt_ttl) explodes with bad attitude and lousy filmmaking. Opening with the sine qua non of tasteless 9/11 gags and closing with a shot of President Bush (Brent Mendenhall) skipping through a field of mushroom clouds hand in hand with “Sammy,” (http://movies.nytimes.com/gst/movies/titlelist.html?v_idlist=42710;444238&inline=nyt_ttl) a k a Osama bin Laden (http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/b/osama_bin_laden/index.html?inline=nyt-per) (Larry Thomas), this idiot burlesque of American society manages to be both clueless and fearless.

Jokes about Oprah (http://movies.nytimes.com/person/76901/Oprah-Winfrey?inline=nyt-per)’s diet and indecisive Starbucks customers? Tired. A celebrity midget (Verne Troyer) being gang-raped by monkeys to advance the apocalyptic agenda of the orgiastic hippie cult Denomination of Organic Monotheism? Timeless!

With the unflappable German troublemaker Uwe Boll as producer, director and co-writer, the film is loosely based on a controversial video game about a trailer park resident (Zach Ward) going “postal” in the small town of Paradise, Ariz. — and is strictly for fans of short-attention-span anarchy and desultory ultraviolence.

Were Mr. Boll less technically inept — if nothing else, his movie is a master class in botched editing — he might have been on to something as viciously cathartic as “Team America: World Police.” (http://movies.nytimes.com/gst/movies/movie.html?v_id=309182&inline=nyt_ttl) As it stands (barely, flatulently, clutching a humongous firearm), “Postal” is a gimpy half-step forward for the man popularly known as “the worst filmmaker in the world.”

“Postal” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian) for pervasive violence, language, nudity and ineptitude.

POSTAL

Opens on Friday in Manhattan.

Directed by Uwe Boll; written by Mr. Boll and Bryan C. Knight, inspired by the video game; director of photography, Mathias Neumann; edited by Julian Clarke; production designer, Tink; produced by Mr. Boll, Shawn Williamson and Dan Clarke; released by Event Film. At the Quad Cinema, 34 West 13th Street, Greenwich Village. Running time: 1 hour 39 minutes.

WITH: Zach Ward (Dude), Dave Foley (http://movies.nytimes.com/person/24071/Dave-Foley?inline=nyt-per) (Uncle Dave), Jackie Tohn (Faith), Larry Thomas (Osama bin Laden (http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/b/osama_bin_laden/index.html?inline=nyt-per)), Erick Avari (Habib), Brent Mendenhall (George W. Bush (http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/b/george_w_bush/index.html?inline=nyt-per)) and Verne Troyer (himself).

[Fathom Zero]

I think it'll be funny. He's trying to be campy.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

So the communists are all up in arms about the new Indiana Jones movie. So much that certain news stations were stating it might re-open the cold war between Russia and U.S.

I think Postal will be my counter-example.

[darkvare]

http://kotaku.com/5012513/two-hundred-leave-free-postal-screening