Sethomas
May 9th, 2008, 12:54 PM
...And I wondered, that's still going around? I decided that there should be an antidote to that fad. You know, something that takes the spirit and puts it to better use than just references to roundhouse kicks. I figured esoteric remarks about someone's brilliance would be the best way to go. I figured the face to go to them should be some superstar intellectual, like Brian Greene or Noam Chomsky. But, I went ahead and made a few "jokes" with my name in them because I can't decide who should have the honor yet.
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It's generally known that ELMO would beat Deep Blue in a game of chess, but so far Deep Blue has been too afraid to accept the challenge.
Laplace's Demon gets its stock market advice and weather predictions from ELMO.
ELMO knows how to find the one person in the room who, if that person drinks, everyone is drinking. And he MAKES that person drink.
It didn't really take over 350 years for mathematicians to solve Fermat's Last Theorem. That's merely how long it took for mathematicians to swallow their pride and ask ELMO for the answer.
Uri Geller obviously can't bend spoons with his mind. He merely thinks, "I wish ELMO would read my mind and telekinetically bend this spoon for me." When ELMO needs a laugh, he does so.
ELMO litter trained Schrödinger's Cat after it was already over 80% dead.
ELMO wrote the Oxford English Dictionary and Encyclopaedia Britanica one weekend because he was tired of answering everyone's bullshit questions all the time. Unfortunately, this put him in a bad mood so he left out all the best parts.
ELMO is so skilled at playing the Devil's Advocate that when he acted as an advocate for the Devil, God apologized to Lucifer and took back the eternity in hell thing.
ELMO knows what you did last summer.
ELMO's autobiography is the only work of non-fiction that counts as first-person omniscient narrative.
ELMO can know the position and momentum of any given particle absolutely at the same time. In fact, he already does.
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It's generally known that ELMO would beat Deep Blue in a game of chess, but so far Deep Blue has been too afraid to accept the challenge.
Laplace's Demon gets its stock market advice and weather predictions from ELMO.
ELMO knows how to find the one person in the room who, if that person drinks, everyone is drinking. And he MAKES that person drink.
It didn't really take over 350 years for mathematicians to solve Fermat's Last Theorem. That's merely how long it took for mathematicians to swallow their pride and ask ELMO for the answer.
Uri Geller obviously can't bend spoons with his mind. He merely thinks, "I wish ELMO would read my mind and telekinetically bend this spoon for me." When ELMO needs a laugh, he does so.
ELMO litter trained Schrödinger's Cat after it was already over 80% dead.
ELMO wrote the Oxford English Dictionary and Encyclopaedia Britanica one weekend because he was tired of answering everyone's bullshit questions all the time. Unfortunately, this put him in a bad mood so he left out all the best parts.
ELMO is so skilled at playing the Devil's Advocate that when he acted as an advocate for the Devil, God apologized to Lucifer and took back the eternity in hell thing.
ELMO knows what you did last summer.
ELMO's autobiography is the only work of non-fiction that counts as first-person omniscient narrative.
ELMO can know the position and momentum of any given particle absolutely at the same time. In fact, he already does.