My Ex says she's pregnant and that it's mine

[Tadao]

My Ex says she's pregnant and that it's mine. She wants to keep it because she christian. I'm going to punch her in the stomach since I can't force an abortion on the cunt.

[Tadao]

I'm seriously freaking out right now. She said she was on the pill. WTF! I don't need this shit!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

How far along?

[Tadao]

1 month

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

What? can you even tell after only 1 month. The only way she would know is if she was looking to get pregnant. I know a few people who has said they're on the pill, but lie about it. Did she test it or just missed it?

[Tadao]

More like 6 weeks, but I don't count weeks, I go by months. She missed her period and did a pee test thingy.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

ooh, maybe she was just trying to put you on edge. Seen any of the tests at all?

[Tadao]

I haven't called her out on it yet. It's not so much that a baby is the problem, it's that it's from her.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I hear ya. Well, I'm hoping for the best. Let me know if anything changes.

[liquidstatik]

http://www.trendir.com/archives/europa-stairways-storey-stairs.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[Pub Lover]

Do they take child support out from incapacity benefits in the US?

[Dixie]

Dude, lemme know which one of these to send you.

http://streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/maury-clothes.jpg
http://streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/maury-shirt-2.jpg
http://streetknowledge.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/maury-3.jpg
http://www.nbcuniversalstore.com/img/product/resized/00042538-921240_400.jpg?k=2ab92571&pid=42538&s=catl

[Dixie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmXR1djoAQQ

[Tadao]

It's a shame she's not the marrying type.

[Tadao]

At what age can infants tell that you are touching them inappropriately?

[Jeanette X]

Aw, jeez. I'm really sorry Tadao.
If its really yours, I guess you'll eventually have to pay child support. Or hope for a miscarriage, as they're fairly common in first pregnacies. I'd call her out on it and demand a paternity test though.

[liquidstatik]

At what age can infants tell that you are touching them inappropriately?

if you do it from birth, it'll be normal ;D

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Make sure you get naming rights though.

[Tadao]

Who pays child support?

[Jeanette X]

Who pays child support?
You. As the biological father, you'll be legally obligated to pay child support, if you're not the primary caregiver and/or non-custodial. If you get custody of the child she may have to pay child support to you instead. I'd check the laws in your state if I were you, but that's how it works in most places. Like I said, you should demand a paternity test to make sure.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Or get custody and make her pay for it instead. Shoes go both ways nowadays.

[Tadao]

Hah, like the law has ever cracked down of dead beat dads.

[Guitar Woman]

Name it after me!

[Pub Lover]

You don't pay child support if you're on welfare here. :/

...in Texas? :dunce

[LordSappington]

Make sure you get naming rights though.
I vote you name the kid either Alma or Hedley.

[Guitar Woman]

he's naming it Sir Maritime Prince William J. Reynolds Tadao the Second you fuckers

[Esuohlim]

At what age can infants tell that you are touching them inappropriately?

if you do it from birth, it'll be normal ;D

:lol

[LordSappington]

he's naming it Sir Maritime Prince William J. Reynolds Tadao the Second you fuckers
... fuck that's good

[Tadao]

I'm naming it Youare Notmy Kid

or Bartender

[LordSappington]

I actually met a kid named Shithead. It was pronounced 'Shith-ee-ad', though. The teacher didn't know what to do when she read him on the rolecall, though.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I know a Shitheead too. It's right up there with Nosmo King and Ex It. Poor kids were named after signs.

[mischief]

"she said she was on the pill"

fucking moron!

[bigtimecow]

tadao, i'm really sorry :(

[MetalMilitia]

In some extreme circumstances sex can lead to babies :x

[Tadao]

What really makes me up set is that it will be half mexican.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

You can just lie to them while they grow up though.

[Dixie]

You can just lie to them while they grow up though.
That's very true. One of my sisters has 2 half Mexican kids, she just tells them they're "Native American".

[Kitsa]

:(

[Tadao]

Indian is still bad, better than mexican though. Maybe I can wash the brown of it with bleach baths.

[Dixie]

Buy nipple-pinking cream and slather the baby in it. If it makes nipples pink who knows what it could do for a semi-colored baby.

[liquidstatik]

I'll take care of that for ya tadao ;)

[Tadao]

If it's a boy you can have it.

[Jeanette X]

Are you guys going to put it up for adoption?

[Tadao]

I'm planning it's death not putting it up for adoption.

[MattJack]

http://imgboot.com/images/MattJack/notthefather.gif (http:///)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's very true. One of my sisters has 2 half Mexican kids, she just tells them they're "Native American".


I have a cousin who I used to think was Puerto Rican because he was so tan, then Italian for a while. Turned out he was Polish.

[Dr. Boogie]

That's very true. One of my sisters has 2 half Mexican kids, she just tells them they're "Native American".

So she has one Mexican kid?

[Kitsa]

What really makes me up set is that it will be half mexican.

Sex with Mexicans sometimes leads to half-mexican babies :themoreyouknow


Don't plot its death :( I'd take it.

[Fathom Zero]

So she has one Mexican kid?

:lol

[Dixie]

So she has one Mexican kid?
Works for me.
Give it a few more years and there might be more.

[Tadao]

Come on guys, I'm in a pickle here. I have punch in the stomach and push her down stairs, both can get me in trouble and I'll do that as a last resort. I need to CTRL-AL-DEL this thing before it gets bigger. I hear they can take a punch after a few months.

[executioneer]

get her very drunk on a vodka and ru-286 cocktail

[Tadao]

You mean Tequila

[Jeanette X]

No, that won't get rid of it. You'll just end up with a mentally retarded child rather than a normal one.

[executioneer]

OH GO AHEAD AND LOCK HER IN A CARTRUNK FOR A MONTH THNE WHATEVER

[Tadao]

What if I attach a wire to my dick when I fuck her next week?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Not that I agree with it but try the coat hanger condom.

[executioneer]

find a way to trick her into placing her uterus next to a poorly-shielded microwave oven for approximately an hour

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Read that too fast, thought you said to "brick her".

[Chojin]

perhaps we could simply

http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh193/itsbobandmary/tom-hanks-ladykillers.jpg

immure her...

[Jeanette X]

What if I attach a wire to my dick when I fuck her next week?

Tadao, you're screwed. There isn't anything you can do. You'll just have to accept it. :\

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I know you said she wanted to keep it. Does that also exclude putting it up for adoption?

[glowbelly]

some questions before i can give advice:
1. how old is she
2. how old are you
3. is she a slut
4. have you seen a positive pregnancy test
5. are you an addict
6. is she an addict
7. when is the baby due

you aren't legally obligated to do anything for her until she can prove paternity and that ain't happening until the parasite is out of her body.

[Tadao]

some questions before i can give advice:
1. how old is she
2. how old are you
3. is she a slut
4. have you seen a positive pregnancy test
5. are you an addict
6. is she an addict
7. when is the baby due

you aren't legally obligated to do anything for her until she can prove paternity and that ain't happening until the parasite is out of her body.

These questions have nothing to do with how to kill the baby in the womb :|

[glowbelly]

you lose.

[Tadao]

Lose a baby I hope. She's getting fat and ugly now.

[Tadao]

http://www.chriserwin.com/pictures/baby_kicker.jpg

[executioneer]

Read that too fast, thought you said to "brick her".

if she's bricked he'll have to send her back to the manufacturer for a replacement, unless he did something to break her warranty

[Chojin]

tadao, i'd acquiesce to glowbelly's requests if I were you. she might be the only person here who could actually help.

[Tadao]

You guys actually believe me? :lol I have a vasectomy.

[Tadao]

I was hoping some really new person would get offended but I didn't expect you old timers to care. You ruined my thread :mad

[Dixie]

I'm jealous! I wanna get fixed too!!!

[Chojin]

the guy in that statue looks like mr. incredible

[Tadao]

I was lucky, I got it done at 23 with no kids for 10 dollars at planed parenthood. From what I hear you usually have to have 1 kid before they consider fixing you.

[Tadao]

the guy in that statue looks like mr. incredible

That is my favorite statue. I can't tell if he is rampanging on some toddlers in a park or if he is being attacked by them.

[Dixie]

I guess I'll just have to wait til the plumbing rots out then.

[Tadao]

Actually your guy should do it. It is safer and easier. I still spew the same amount, it still tastes horrible (so I'm told) and as far as getting it up, I haven't had a problem yet except for that time I did too much coke.

[Dixie]

COKE DICK!

Those two words never fail to make me laugh.

I talked to him about getting snipped, but like all men, he's afraid of something sharp and pointy poking around down there.

[Tadao]

It was funny. The Dr came in wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He made jokes, let my wife have a front seat view, gave me a Novocaine shot, made a little slit (very little), pulled the tubes out a little (that felt soooo weird), asked me how much off I want, burned the ends of the tube for extra measure cause I didn't want then to grow back, slapped a bandade on it and sent me home. I asked how long till I can have sex again and he said "Right now, but I would like to leave the room first."

[Dixie]

Hahaha. A friend of ours got snipped, he was on the bench for a week before he could do anything. Then again, right after he got home from the procedure his 4 year old whacked him good in the nuts.

[Tadao]

That is strange. How long ago did he do it? In the old day they were evasive, but this is so non evasive that it was easier than the dentist. Also, some people like to act like things are worse than they are to seem braver or more worthy. He could have milked it.

[Dixie]

He got it done last year. I think he had to wait so long because his kid decided to beat him up and slightly tore the work that had been done.
And yeah, our friend is a big pussy anyways. I've never heard anyone whine over a hangover as much as him.

[Tadao]

I didn't even get one stitch though and that was over 10 years ago. Just a band-aide. Too bad your hubby saw that, I would have a hard time doing that if my friend had it the hard way too. Sex is so much better when you don't have to stress about those little viral parasites that feed of my bitches.

[Dixie]

No kidding!
I've been on the anti-baby shot for years now, works great for me, but it does get expensive and a final solution would be awesome. If either one of us gets fixed it'll ease my mind.
I love kids best when they don't have to come home with me.

[Jeanette X]

Tadao! I was worried for you! Don't scare me like that! >:

[Tadao]

I figured the hating the baby because it's half mexican would have gave me up.

[glowbelly]

just goes to show how desensitized we are.

[Tadao]

no, if anything you guys are very sensitive and caring :puke

[executioneer]

tadao you are such a big liarrrr

[Kitsa]

I was hoping some really new person would get offended but I didn't expect you old timers to care. You ruined my thread :mad


Did you have anyone in mind?

If so, you're kind of a dick :\

[Tadao]

No, not you. Just new users that browse loveline and then sign up to say something.

And kind of a dick? I'm insulted :(

[Kitsa]

Ok, well, if not me, I take back the dick thing.

[Tadao]

No, I'll keep it for later.

[ElPila666]

My girlfriend used to take anticonseptive pills, recipe by i don't know which doctor, she get those pills by herself, she only asked me for money to buy them, well i read the manual and it said the days that she should swallow the pills, but she started to talk about having a child so often that i was getting paranoid because of weed, so i asked her all the time "did you took the pill?, hey i didn't saw you taking the pill". i started to feel like a nazi so we broked up :(

[MattJack]

Well that makes sense

[liquidstatik]

My girlfriend used to take anticonseptive pills, recipe by i don't know which doctor, she get those pills by herself, she only asked me for money to buy them, well i read the manual and it said the days that she should swallow the pills, but she started to talk about having a child so often that i was getting paranoid because of weed, so i asked her all the time "did you took the pill?, hey i didn't saw you taking the pill". i started to feel like a nazi so we broked up :(

:lol it's even funnier w/ my face beside it, 'cause that's something i would think :x

[Kitsa]

It's not that uncommon for a gf who was/is "on the pill" to suddenly turn up pregnant when the relationship is looking iffy. It happened to a relative of mine. I swear not two months before she was suddenly pregnant, he was telling everyone he was going to break up with her.

Me, I'm a little jealous of girls with that sort of control over whether or not they reproduce :(

[Tadao]

You can always adopt Kitsa

[Kitsa]

Nope, my health history screwed me there. China actually has a regulation against adopting to former cancer patients.

[Tadao]

The reason why I got a vasectomy is for 2 reasons, I'll never want to grow up to be responsible and I'd rather adopt than bring another life into this world. There are way too many unaborted children. I still haven't looked into adoption in the U.S. though. Is that even an option for you?

[Kybo Ren]

aahhh adoption. all the benefits of pedophilia, without the guilt of incest.

[Kitsa]

Most places are prejudiced (either on or off the record) against cancer patients. It sucks. I mean, a healthy couple could adopt a kid and die in a car accident the next day, you know?

[Nick]

You guys should stop whining and just wrap that shit.

[MetalMilitia]

Most places are prejudiced (either on or off the record) against cancer patients. It sucks. I mean, a healthy couple could adopt a kid and die in a car accident the next day, you know?

Well they don't want the kids to catch it! God Kitsa, I thought you worked in a hospital :rolleyes

[liquidstatik]

http://www.abortion.org.au/Abortion1.gif

[bigtimecow]

/BAN

[Colonel Flagg]

Most places are prejudiced (either on or off the record) against cancer patients. It sucks. I mean, a healthy couple could adopt a kid and die in a car accident the next day, you know?

I don't mean to preach, but have you looked into foster care? Admittedly, the kids can (and mostly do) have issues ranging from being born to crackheads to being neglected and abused, but sometimes this can fill the gap, and can even in the right circumstances turn permanent. We did that with our daughter (born addicted to various drugs) and are currently fostering two boys who may also become available for adoption.

The hardest part is getting attached, only to have the child taken away - this happened to us too. It's maddening the way decisions are made without benefit of consultation with the foster family. You have to learn to accept and not to react.

As for the health requirements, I'm not sure, but there is a great need for foster parents, so I don't think they'll turn you down flatly (though I've been wrong before).