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Schimid
Apr 29th, 2004, 11:02 PM
Her mom and the rest of her family are highly devout Christians.

Her mom and the rest of her family thinks I'm a sex hound.

Her mom and the rest of her family think that we've had sex.

Her mom and the rest of her family won't ever let me see her again.

:(

ProfessorCool
Apr 29th, 2004, 11:18 PM
ARE YOU A CAPULET OR A MONTAGUE?

you arent going to let this happen,are you?

Spastic Colon
Apr 29th, 2004, 11:22 PM
The grandmother is the matriarch of the entire family, eat her out and you're in buddy. I had too, DO NOT INHALE!!!

Emu
Apr 29th, 2004, 11:30 PM
have sex with her, get her pregnant,a nd then you'll see her all the time

AChimp
Apr 29th, 2004, 11:38 PM
http://www.starwars.stopklatka.pl/images/ackbar.jpg
IT'S A TRAP!

FartinMowler
Apr 30th, 2004, 12:12 AM
It reads like a bad Disney teen movie >:

Schimid
Apr 30th, 2004, 12:16 AM
Go fuck your daughters.

Perndog
Apr 30th, 2004, 02:06 AM
I actually agree with Fartin on this one. I thought this shit did only happen in cheesy family movies.

The trick is to actually have sex with her so you can confirm their worries. Then they'll love you for your honesty. :)

Big Papa Goat
Apr 30th, 2004, 03:04 AM
See, an actual satanist would have told him to sacrifice a goat on their lawn and then have a ritualistic hood wearing orgy with her daughter and some transients on the same lawn. >:

executioneer
Apr 30th, 2004, 04:42 AM
:lol

SMN
Apr 30th, 2004, 07:21 AM
Kill the family. Take the girl. Show her who's boss. (Cuh-rack that whip!)

Perndog
Apr 30th, 2004, 12:15 PM
See, an actual satanist would have told him to sacrifice a goat on their lawn and then have a ritualistic hood wearing orgy with her daughter and some transients on the same lawn. >:

That was in the PM. >:

Royal Tenenbaum
Apr 30th, 2004, 12:58 PM
Don't date religous people. They are the stupid! :lol

Alive
Apr 30th, 2004, 01:06 PM
she got that plaid skirt? but honestly, if the males in the family are old and weak around the time you two become of age (or even 16) it won't matter to them anymore, you'll be accepted as a "god" to them to add striength to the family. and then you can have all the "goatse" sex you want with her in her basement. :)

Rongi
Apr 30th, 2004, 03:32 PM
Kill the family. Take the girl. Show her who's boss. (Cuh-rack that whip!)

Like you know anything about relationships. Go split yourself in half, you asexual loser.

PS. you smell

Ninjavenom
Apr 30th, 2004, 06:16 PM
Why would they think you're a sex hound? O .o

Supafly345
Apr 30th, 2004, 06:33 PM
Chances are they found out that he finds her physically attractive; which is widely known by all christians as a sin.

Another important thing to consider is how Jebathia 16:26 states that all who have sex shall go to hell.

AChimp
Apr 30th, 2004, 07:20 PM
Why would they think you're a sex hound? O .o
His boner tipped them off. :(

Terra
Apr 30th, 2004, 07:20 PM
Another important thing to consider is how Jebathia 16:26 states that all who have sex shall go to hell.

Well, 98% of the guys who post on I-Mock are safe then.

Alive
Apr 30th, 2004, 07:35 PM
yeah, but dont they interperate it as anything "deviating away" from the "missionary" position, just for the sole purpose of ejaculation, and he has to get right up and the "sexual act" ends there. or something like that. (that sounds more catholic for some reason) i dunno... i know pre-marital is an automatic sin.

Schimid
Apr 30th, 2004, 07:37 PM
Ninja, they found some notes we made. I'm not going to say anything, but her family doesn't like any of her boyfriends anyway...when they found out I was physically attracted to her, like Supa said, they freaked out.

They probably won't let me see her anymore. We're working it out though, my family is still fully supporting :o

ziggytrix
May 1st, 2004, 05:16 PM
waitaminute - how old are you??

Schimid
May 1st, 2004, 11:33 PM
Hahahah. >D