Van Helsing

[AChimp]

Crap. >:

The action sequences were good, though, but the movie should have been done without any talking. >:

[James]

You just didn't GET IT, man. :rolleyes

But seriously, I've heard some pretty bad things about it. I didn't know that the director was the guy who did The Mummy Returns. Had I known that from the start, I wouldn't have taken any interest in this movie at all. And I heard the special effects were fucking horrible. One review mentioned that wires for stunts were visible in some scenes, too.

[Shostie]

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

[GADZOOKS]

It was funny when he turned out to be a vmapire at the end.

"I PUT THE HELL IN HELSING"

[Ninjavenom]

Kate Beckinsale is going to ruin this movie. :-/

[Emu]

Gadzooks already ruined it. :(

[GADZOOKS]

If you mean ruined, you really mean "SAVED YOU 8 to 10 bucks on some stupid movie and a extra 10 for THE EXTRA LARGE TUB OF POPCORN YOU WILL GET COVERED IN BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE SAUSE, YOU FAT BASTARD"

[executioneer]

oh NO, now i will NEVER be able to enjoy this movie :rolleyes

[DamnthatDavid]

I just watched it, it was... indeed... crap.

But they did call in Frankenstien's Monster in the movie.
But really, if you looked past the unbelievable damage the main charachters recive and then brush off, the annoying monk... excuse me, friar, the lesbian sex scene between the 3 vampire women, and all the acting. Well, then the movie is very, very good.

I would place this gem in the exaulted class, which contains such masterpieces as;
]Cabin Fever, all Wayne's Brother Movies, the Castle of Fu-Manchu, the new Star Wars movies, and House of the Dead.

[Mockery]

Hah, awesome. Glad I didn't go waste my money on this one last night. Proto was getting a big group o' people together for it. :P

[bigtimecow]

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

[Krythor]

It was a movie with a vampire, a werewolf and Frankenstein's monster, of course it was going to be crap. I can't believe how many dumbies believed otherwise.

And David needs to throw himself down a well or something; Cabin Fever was great.

[sports]

Your right Krythor, Cabin Fever was great.


Van Helsing has...a 3-way lesiban sex scene...my little bro may not be able to go see it, IF...i go to it today. I ain't expecting much, 170M budget and special effects are that great.

BTW, I thought the guy who made this flick, directed both Mummy films, not just the 2nd one.

[Cap'n Crunch]

My brother saw it with his friends and said it was good. He also rented House of the Dead when he came back, so that tells you something. :(

[Immortal Goat]

I'm still gonna see it and I don't think I'm going to be disapointed by the outcome. I never thought it would be scary or even very good, I just think it will be a good distraction for a while. :/

[Shostie]

the lesbian sex scene between the 3 vampire women

I never got around to reading Bram Stoker's Dracula, but didn't he have a trio of highly sensuous vampire chicks around?



i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

Not really so much a bad guy as a hapless victim of circumstance, created by an genius who also happens to be an idiot.

[MrAdventure]

Did anyone else notice that they're selling the classic monster movies with a sticker proclaiming that they're the movies that inspired Van Helsing? :rolleyes

[DamnthatDavid]

I was inspired to take a shit after eating some food. Thanks Food!

Cabin Fever... It never explained where the disease came from, never explained how it was originally passed on, never explained why the dog was crazy and ate the girls face off, never explained anything.
No, but you are right, it was a fucking masterpiece. >:

That movie didn't even provided a decent MST3K commentary.
We tried... It was like making fun of a retard.

[the_dudefather]

Haven't seen it, but I immediately lost interest when the trailers identified Frankenstein's monster as Frankenstein.

i hate the fact that frankenstein was a monster / enemy.
does anyone remember frankenstien being a bad guy in his movies?

he wasnt a bad guy in van helsing

[Zomboid]

Cabin Fever... It never explained where the disease came from, never explained how it was originally passed on, never explained why the dog was crazy and ate the girls face off, never explained anything.
No, but you are right, it was a fucking masterpiece. >:

Am I the only one that can't just take a funny, gory popcorn movie for what it is without demanding to know everything? Did you bitch when they didn't explain how the "virus" started in dawn of the dead too?

[Comrade Rocket]

Frankenstines Monster actually became very smart and humanistic. He didnt want to hurt anyone, and the only reason he killed the little girl in the begining of the book was because he had a childs mind in a adult body.

EDIT: im not talking about Hellsing

[JeefGyle]

I think Cabin Fever was probably the worst movie I have ever seen. Disregarding the lack of information about the virus, it just seemed like a movie that was supposed to be scary, and then was revised into a semi-comedy that wasn't funny.

[AChimp]

I thought the monster rescued the little girl from drowning in the book. :/

[eggyolk]

yeah people in the warcraft 3 - usa 4 room agreed it was a bad movie :lol

[Comrade Rocket]

I thought the monster rescued the little girl from drowning in the book. :/

No, he killed her, atleast im very sure he killed her, its been years since i read the book,

[Emu]

I think he rescued her from the well, then accidentally crushed her or something. :( i don't remember exactly

[DamnthatDavid]

Am I the only one that can't just take a funny, gory popcorn movie for what it is without demanding to know everything? Did you bitch when they didn't explain how the "virus" started in dawn of the dead too?

Dawn of the Dead was using a classic horror base, with the Comedy built into the script.

Cabin Fever was using a dumbass horror base, with the so called comedy tacked on almost as an after thought to the script.

[ArrowX]

movie suckd! I thought it could have been good but It was like 007 meets some crappy jackie chan movie.

The monk or 'fryer" was a blatant ripoff of a buddie character and Q all in one.

The ending was dumb as fuking hell.

The stupid babie draculas were gay too.

the hot chick dies by being knocked over pnto a chair by Ware-Helsing

on a lighter note watching Frankenstein's monster float away on three logs ropped togeather to ultimately die was kinda cool.

Doncha think the heaviest influence in the story was from Castlevania with the whole "family has fought dracula for generations" thing

[Protoclown]

The movie was absolutely ridiculously insanely HORRIBLE beyond all belief.

On that note, it lived up to my expectations of pure crap and I really enjoyed it. Haven't laughed like that in a long time.

There was more swinging around on pulleys, ropes, chains and wires in that movie than there was in all of "Spider-man".

And the part where the decoy wagon was travelling 20 feet from the real wagon was hilarious.

[Emu]

I wonder if the game's any good. :/

[ArrowX]

LOL theres already a spinn off movie :lol :lol

http://www.movietyme.com/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=20022

lol and one of the carrages exploded after having gone about 3 miles with a smashed lamp on the roof :lol

[Dr. V]

I thought the Mr. Hyde fight was cool. But other than that, it was ok but pretty played out and the acting was terrible.

[ArrowX]

Wasn't the real Van Helsing (from the book) like 75 years old?

[Zomboid]

Yeah, but I read something about him being called "Gabriel Van Helsing" and being related to the other one. Either way it just looks like they took a bunch of classic characters and made them presentable for a bunch of dumbass kids.

[the_dudefather]

i saw a bit of castlevania style hi-jinxs in it too:

-belmont family - fighting vampires for generations

-draculas "second form"

-multiple b-movie horror monsters

-frankensteins castle looked a bit like castlevania

-draculas castle cant be found - castlevania can only be found every 100years


all this is probobly insane jibbering as a proper castlevania movie would kick ass. ill just have to watch vampire hunter d in the meanwhile...